The next morning, Nell woke up with sunshine bursting through the curtains. Within a split second thoughts of last night came flooding back to her and her heart swelled as she remembered being curled up in the strong arms of Guy all night. She smiled to herself, feeling content and turned over to face him, but the bed was empty. She listened for a moment, but there was deadly silence in the cabin – all she could hear was the chugging of the boat engines outside. She ran her hand over the rumpled duvet, then sat up straight in the bed. His scent still lingered on the duvet as she pulled it tightly around her body. Last night, Guy had made her feel like the only girl in the world. He had devoured her body with such passion, making her gasp at every touch and now he was gone. Feeling confused, she hugged her knees, tears brimming her eyes.
She sat there for a while longer, then locked eyes with the photograph sitting on her bedside table, a photo of her and Ollie on their wedding day. She stared at the photo and suddenly her heart plummeted as a flash of guilt ran through her body. Had she made a mistake? Why would someone disappear in the early hours? This was the first time she’d felt close to anyone in a long time and now she was smothered in feelings of abandonment.
She wiped the tears with the back of her hand, fleeting images ran through her mind from last night and suddenly she felt confused and empty. Where was Guy? Did he regret last night?
She threw back the duvet, swung her legs to the floor and walked gingerly into the bathroom. She climbed into the shower and let the water cascade over her body while she grappled with her conscience. She raked her hands through her hair, her mind whirling. Why did she feel so guilty, so sad?
Fifteen minutes later she was hugging a mug of tea, gazing wistfully out of the window while trying to cope with her own feelings. She spotted Guy in the boatyard, Ed and Sam by his side as they tinkered away with a boat engine.
She watched them for a couple of minutes. Guy looked happy enough, throwing a ball for Sam while handing Ed some tools. She noticed him delve into his pocket and take out his mobile phone. He punched something into the keypad. Two seconds later Nell’s phone vibrated and she looked at the screen to see a text message from Guy.
Good morning, I didn’t want to wake you. I’m in work, last night was perfect, text me when you’re up. x
Relief ran through her body, he hadn’t regretted last night, he was just up early to open the boatyard and no doubt needed to walk Sam. She ran her finger over the message and bit down on her lip, unsure what to text to back.
She glanced back over towards him. His sleeves were pushed up over his arms, his forearms were lean and his dark hair fell in his eyes. She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering his touch and his lips on hers. She knew she wanted more, but with him returning to Ireland was she setting herself up for more heartache?
Quickly she thrust her feet into her boots and grabbed her coat and found herself standing on the jetty outside the ‘Nollie’. She was thankful Guy and Ed were deep in conversation as she slipped up the towpath without being seen.
In no time at all she found herself standing on the wooden bridge gazing over the lake. The sky glowed soft blue and the naked branches of the trees swayed in the gentle breeze. She stopped and listened to the sound of the birds chirping. There was a calmness about this place that she loved.
She wandered over the bridge and walked towards the water’s edge. She took a deep breath before speaking, ‘Morning, Ollie,’ she whispered, perching on the edge of the bench and tilting her face towards the warm sun. She closed her eyes.
Suddenly, she felt a shadow cast over her and opened her eyes to see her mum sitting down next to her.
‘I thought it was you, penny for them.’
‘You don’t want to know,’ replied Nell.
‘A problem shared and all that,’ said Gilly, casting an eye over the lake.
Nell took a moment, ‘Mum, I feel terrible,’ her voice quivered.
Gilly turned towards her daughter and met her grief-stricken eyes, ‘Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.’
‘I’ve … Guy.’ Nell couldn’t bring herself to say the words and her voice petered off, leaving Gilly to fill in the gaps.
‘You’re getting close to Guy?’
Nell nodded.
‘And you’re feeling guilty?’
‘A little, actually a lot.’
‘It’s understandable, Nell. Ollie was your life, but don’t feel guilty about moving on. Life for you is becoming bearable again and I’m sure that’s got a lot to do with Guy.’
Nell smiled thinking of Guy, ‘It’s easy being around him. I feel alive again.’
‘And that’s nothing to feel bad about at all, it’s the most natural thing in the world.’
‘So why do I feel like I’ve betrayed Ollie, then?’
‘Maybe because you never thought you’d could be happy with anyone else other than Ollie. Nell, all these feelings are natural. Ollie was one in a million, one of the good guys. We’ll never forget him and if he were here, things would be different, but he isn’t here and he wouldn’t want you spending the rest of your days on your own. And if you think this Guy is good enough for you then I’m sure that’s good enough for Ollie too.’
Nell locked eyes with her mum and brushed away a lonely tear that was rolling down her cheek.
‘But then there’s the issue with Guy.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I don’t think he’s staying around.’
‘Why?’ Gilly pulled her daughter in close and placed her arm around her shoulder.
‘His home, his job is in Ireland,’ sighed Nell. ‘And now I think I’m just going to get hurt and I really can’t cope with any more pain,’ the tears began to roll down her cheeks.
‘Have you asked him how he feels?’ asked Gilly calmly.
She shook her head, ‘Given everything I’ve been through, I’m not sure I can cope if the answer is something I don’t want to hear.’
‘Oh, Nell.’ Gilly hugged her daughter tightly.
‘How can I have fallen for someone so quickly, Mum?’
‘Because people come into your life for a reason. Life is definitely not easy sometimes,’ said Gilly cautiously, pulling away from the hug and not meeting Nell’s eye.
‘There’s one thing I do know for certain. I don’t relish the thought of him going back to Ireland.’
Gilly patted her daughter affectionately, ‘Then you need to tell him how you feel.’
‘He texted me this morning.’
‘And?’
‘I haven’t answered.’
‘Then do it. I’m sure the poor man will be checking his phone every two minutes waiting for your message.’
‘Do you think?’
She gave Nell a knowing nod, ‘Text him.’
‘I will and thanks, Mum’ said Nell, smiling through her tears.
‘Anytime.’
‘What are you doing up and out so early anyway?’
‘Just running a few errands and I nearly always walk this way round,’ she said, squeezing Nell’s hand before ambling over the bridge and out of sight.
Nell stood up and took one last look up at the sky, ‘I will always love you,’ she said, scarcely breathing.
When Nell crossed back over the bridge, she took her mobile phone out of her bag and opened up Guy’s message.
She tapped back, ‘I had a good night too. x’
Almost immediately she received a reply, ‘Fancy dinner tonight?’
Feeling more positive, the slumping sensation of the early morning lifted as she smiled at the message. He hadn’t run out on her, he’d replied instantly. She bit down on her lip and typed a message back, ‘That would be perfect, look forward to it.’ she answered, knowing Guy had definitely come into her life for a reason.