The last few nights had been filled with fire and ashes, ending the terror that had gone on for too long. Rosali’s body had been pulled from the wreckage and I’d watched Daederich hack her apart the same way I had Cyrus, as though he needed to see her in pieces before he’d let himself believe she really wasn’t coming back. I stood by silently, giving Jase a sharp look when he seemed to want to rush things.

I wasn’t sure what Rosali had done to Daederich, but he’d earned this closure, at very least.

The scent of smoke lingered, clinging to my hair, to my clothes, no matter how much I washed. But I still went outside of the hunters’ compound when the pyre was set up. These flames would be the hardest to watch burn. When they were lit, it would be time to say goodbye, for the last time.

Elah’s body had been moved before the hunters had torched the mansion. While some hated that he’d lost his life trying to free me, they showed his memory nothing but respect. A dozen had worked for hours the night before constructing a platform and piling wood. Now six hunters carried Elah on a black slab, wide enough for his sword and his favorite rifle to lay beside him. They set him on the platform, one at a time placing an object with him to burn. Several books, a ring that looked ancient, an elaborate carving of a wolf, and a colorful pile of poker chips that seemed difficult for the last hunter to part with.

Jase stepped up beside me, speaking softly. “We may seem heartless, but we honor our dead. You were important to him. If you’d like a moment…”

Nodding slowly, I stepped forward, feeling like a fist had closed around my throat. The light from the complex was dim, but I could see Elah clearly. Dressed in all black, the collar of his leather jacket hiding the stitches on his neck. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was sleeping.

I put my hand on his arm. “We were supposed to get out of there together. I’m not sure I can ever forgive you for dying on me.” Tears blurred my vision and I laughed. “But you gave me so much. Nothing I can send with you. Nothing I can touch. But I wouldn’t be alive if you hadn’t kept pushing me. I almost gave up, so many times. You wouldn’t let me. And now, thanks to you, I have my freedom.” I pressed my tongue into my bottom lip as my voice cracked. “I’m going to miss you so fucking much. Miss you showing up to yell at me because I’m being reckless. Miss you teaching me how to be the most lethal bitch I can be.” I blinked, letting the tears spill, not giving a damn what the hunters thought of me for crying when they showed no emotion at all. “I’m going to miss you holding me, and being a sarcastic jerk, and making me laugh.” Rising up on my tiptoes, I pressed a soft kiss on his cold cheek. And I whispered. “I don’t have many memories, but I’ll treasure the ones I have of you.”

Returning to Jase’s side, I dried my tears with the back of my hand, tugging my bottom lip between my teeth as Daederich went to Elah, speaking quietly, lowering his head to Elah’s chest, his fist pressed against the side of the slab. He didn’t look at me once he’d retreated from the pyre and the hunters brought torches to light the fire. His eyes never left Elah as the flames consumed his body. Shoulders back, head held high, he was as hard to read as any of the hunters around us, but I knew him.

He blamed himself for Elah’s death.

I wanted to blame him too. But I didn’t. Daederich had cared about the man more than almost anyone. Returning to captivity had warped what we once had, but I refused to believe Daederich could have fooled both me and Elah.

Elah had defended Daederich in that cell. He must have known something I hadn’t.

Or maybe he’d just had faith long after I’d lost mine. Either way, looking at Daederich I sensed his pain as deeply as a knife driven into my own chest. After the hunters drifted away and the sky began to lighten, I approached him, not sure what to say, but needing to find a way to comfort him. And let him comfort me in return.

“Don’t.” Daederich continued staring at the pyre as the last of the embers died. “I don’t deserve your sympathy. You’re right to hate me. I’ve cost you everything.”

“Because you chose me out of all of Cyrus’s victims?” I folded my arms over my chest and shook my head. “I don’t hate you for that.”

He let out a sharp laugh. “You think I chose you?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes. Yes, it fucking matters. I want you to hate me for what I’ve actually done, not because Cyrus twisted the few memories you have.” He rubbed his face with his hand. “You were brought to me in the arena, like all the others. The only difference was you were in chains. The chains told me you were more than another prop. You’d done something to anger Cyrus and he wanted to see you suffer. Which made me even more determined to make sure you survived.”

“You never told me that.”

“Why would I? Why would I force you to relive the worst moment of your life?”

He had a point. But now I was confused. “Then should I hate you for what you did to Elah? He never blamed you.”

Daederich’s lips twitched. “Because I told him why.”

“Tell me.” I reached out and put my hand on his forearm. “Now that it’s over, I need to know. What I saw was you falling back into the role you played so easily, it was like Elah was nothing but an obstacle to your survival.”

“He wasn’t an obstacle to mine, he was the key to yours.” Daederich glanced down at my hand. “I had to make it easy for Cyrus to convince you I’d cooperate to save myself. No matter what, he’d have found a way to fuck with your head, but at least if he believed our bond was weak I wasn’t a threat. And everyone knows a hunter would rather die than be degraded. Elah once made me promise I’d kill him if it ever came to that. But I broke my promise, giving him a damn good reason to turn on me.” He pressed his eyes shut. “I knew he’d recover. Figured we could work together without them knowing and somehow break free. They would make us perform and we’d have one chance…”

“Only they didn’t.”

“No. My mistake was assuming things would be like they were in the arena. Thinking they’d be stupid enough to underestimate a hunter. But Cyrus only came for me once before leaving me to Rosali. And the performances never happened.”

That explained why Elah still trusted Daederich. He hadn’t explained because Cyrus read my thoughts too easily. And Cyrus had been arrogant enough to believe he had complete control over us all. If things had played out differently, if we’d been thrown into the arena, Daederich’s plan might have worked. Even with only seconds to act, I would have followed Elah’s lead. Likely pieced together what Daederich was doing.

A flawed plan, but a plan nonetheless.

Which didn’t explain why he thought I should hate him.

“You’ve had nothing but pain since you met me, Lydia. I was a fool to think I could protect you. And you trusted me, which made you vulnerable.” Daederich backed away from me and my hand fell to my side. “Hating me gave you strength. You realized you didn’t need me. I won’t let you lose that strength now.”

I ran my tongue across my teeth, nodding.

Then I stepped forward and slapped him. “You stupid son-of-a-bitch.”

His eyes went wide.

Latching on to the collar of his shirt, I jerked him down so I could look into his eyes. “You’re right, I don’t need you. I thought I did, I wanted you to save me, but you couldn’t. Elah couldn’t. And some fucked up shit happened to us all. You did what you could. It didn’t work. Get over it.”

Brow furrowed, he blinked at me. “Get over it?”

“Yes. I’m not living my entire—very long—life afraid. I hated you because it was easier than loving you. But I much prefer to love you. And I will again.” I jabbed my finger into the center of his chest. “When you’re done being an idiot.”

“God damn it, Lydia. What don’t you understand? You’re better off without me.”

I rolled my eyes, smiling as I pictured Elah, watching us, shaking his head. He’d be amused, but wouldn’t say much. Unless it was to mock us for being ridiculous.

“Well, if that’s what you think, I’m done wasting my time.” I shrugged and started back toward the compound. “See you around.”

He caught up to me with long strides and grabbed my arm. “Where will you go?”

“Wherever the hell I want. After I get some sleep.” I arched a brow, glancing down at his hand. He let me go and I continued inside. “I’m going to enjoy my freedom, Daederich. I suggest you figure out how to do the same.”