Annie heard the door open less than an hour after her strange breakdown. She lay across the mattress in the dark, trying to analyze her reaction. The heat that had boiled inside her died down. A certain calmness came over her.
She didn’t lift her arm off her face as she spoke. “I’m sorry.”
The mattress dipped next to her and Jasper’s familiar scent filled the air. “Don’t be.”
He was always so decent and understanding. Jasper had flaws, but you had to work hard to find them.
She wasn’t so lucky. She felt like one giant flaw some days. Words sometimes failed her. Worries could overwhelm her. And, as much as she hated to admit it, she let her past define her. Not always, but when it came to relationships she did. She’d been so busy running from her parents’ choices that she often fell into bad ones of her own. She could see that now, lying there in the dark.
It was time for her to own up to one. “I didn’t say yes to your proposal because I was so afraid marrying you would mean the death of our relationship. Now I worry I’m dragging all three of us into a relationship that will blow us apart. But I want it. I can’t seem to stop wanting it, even as I worry.”
Jasper slipped a hand over her stomach. Rubbed his palm over her in a soothing circle. “But you didn’t say yes.”
Her arm dropped to the side and she stared up at him. “What?”
“You never said yes to my proposal.” He didn’t sound angry. He wasn’t accusing.
She knew he was trying to make a point. “True…and?”
“I know about your first marriage and your parents, but do you think that maybe you didn’t say yes because you didn’t have everything you needed? Maybe Dave was the missing piece.”
That’s all she thought about these days. It was bad enough worrying she’d lose Jasper and feeling like she wouldn’t be enough for him. Now she had to worry that Jasper was the one who wasn’t enough for her. Perfect Jasper, whom she loved.
The pressure weighed on her, but as she stared into Jasper’s eyes it struck her that maybe the worry was misguided.
Jasper and Dave both seemed sure and clear about her, and about all of them together. They didn’t push her to the side. They wanted each other and her.
“You know I’m going to fall in love with Dave in about two seconds. It’s inevitable.” She waited to see Jasper’s reaction. If the idea of sharing Dave threatened him in any way. If their relationship would start to crumble.
Jasper’s smile was sweet. “He’s pretty loveable.”
Relief hit her out of nowhere. A sense of rightness settled over her. He wasn’t setting her up or judging her. He was being exactly the man she thought he was. That she depended on him to be.
“You never stopped, did you?” She knew the answer but she wanted to hear how he viewed it.
“Before I met you I was convinced he was the love of my life and I blew it.”
One more time she tensed, expecting a wave of jealousy, but it didn’t come. It was as if she’d crossed some line out there in the family room and the doubts lessened with each word she’d heard ever since. “And now?”
“Maybe we don’t get just one great love. I look at both of you and this idea of a life with all of us together…” He looked up at the ceiling as if he was trying to find the right words. “For the first time, I feel settled. I’m no longer rushing you down the aisle because I’m afraid you’ll leave.”
She could feel her mouth drop open. “That’s a big comment.”
He shifted, getting even closer as he continued to rub her stomach. “I’m not saying that I love you less or want you less now. The proposal was very real.”
“No, I get that.” She really did. It was as if they both had doubts and fears that had caused them to make choices that threatened to drive them apart instead of together. But now, with Dave, that pressure faded. The rush to prove something disappeared.
“I love the idea of having the two people who mean the most to me right here.”
The conviction in Jasper’s voice melted the rest of her wariness. “Let’s keep being honest with each other. Always.”
He nodded. “Agreed.”
“I’ve spent a lot of time worrying that I’ll be the one pushed out, but Dave has a point. I don’t want him to feel unwanted or extra.” She’d been so busy doubting and panicking that she fed his fears. “Speaking of which, where is he?” She called out, “Dave?”
Footsteps sounded in the hallway. After a brief hesitation, he knocked, then opened the door. She realized she hated that. The bedroom needed to be his, too. He had to be comfortable coming in and out and not feel as though he was intruding.
She knew that would start once she welcomed him. Truly welcomed him, not just in bed, but also in the house and in their lives.
He bit his lower lip as he looked at them on the bed. “Hey.”
She held out a hand. “Come here.”
“Are you sure you don’t want—”
She cleared her throat, cutting him off. “Don’t make me order you.”
“So hot,” Jasper mumbled under his breath.
Dave stepped up to the bed and climbed on the mattress. He sat behind Jasper and rested a hand on Jasper’s arm.
She loved the closeness. She ached for it. “This is your house, too.”
Dave shook his head. “Excuse me?”
“I’m firing myself as your agent because you don’t need a house.” This was big. Huge, actually. She hadn’t expected to take the step but now she knew they had to.
Jasper’s eyebrow lifted and Dave froze.
Rather than wait for questions, she dove in. “Tomorrow we go get your stuff and move you in. You get a key and a parking spot and a say in everything.”
The words felt right. This would knock down the last barriers.
“Are you sure you’re ready for that?” Dave’s grip on Jasper’s arm tightened as he asked the question.
She saw Dave’s white knuckles and reached over to brush her fingers over the back of his hand. “I want you here. I want us together.”
Jasper laughed. “You heard her.”
For a second Dave didn’t say anything. Then a smile spread across his lips. “You know this means you lose a commission.”
She tugged on his arm until he sprawled on top of her. “You can work it off in other ways.”
Dave laughed. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”
This would give them a future and a chance. For the first time, she believed anything was possible. With both of them. “Then take your clothes off.”
“Yes, ma’am,” they both said at the same time.
She decided that was a good start.