Jasper wouldn’t let this go. Annie knew it and tried to ignore the words, the note of demand in his voice…all of it.
But he would not be deterred. He pushed up to balance on his elbows and hovered over her. Those intelligent eyes focused, without blinking, on her. “I asked you to marry me yesterday.”
She wanted to get up and pretend this conversation hadn’t started—again. When hit with confrontation her instinct was to bolt. She understood she needed to stay and deal with her issues, but understanding that what she should do to make the revving sensation inside of her stop still didn’t make her want to do it.
With a deep inhale, she forced her body to relax and tried to ease the tension in her muscles. “Now isn’t the right time for this.”
“Just tell me why.”
“I have to get to work and this discussion—”
He exhaled long and loud. “Why you aren’t saying yes?”
He was a stubborn man. That practical say-what-he-meant thing usually turned her on. Not right now. “The timing is wrong. My work is—”
“Damn it, Annie. Don’t blame the office.” He groaned and fell back onto the mattress, one arm stretched above his head. He didn’t touch her. Not anywhere. In one swift move, despite the mere inches between them, he’d created miles of emotional distance.
Her stomach churned with panic. She couldn’t lose him.
No matter how much he protested, she’d seen what happened when relationships changed, when they switched from love to hate. She’d lived through the anguish and vicious battles of her parents. The same ones that ended with shattered dishes and shredded memories. With the police being called. All the ugly allegations and the lawyers.
That was her experience with family. At first, she’d tried to do things differently by picking someone safe and dispassionate, but instead she’d gotten boredom and guilt.
Things weren’t that way with Jasper. But the idea of watching him walk away once he realized those were the two options—agonizing hatred or the slow death of any fire that had ever existed between them—ripped a hole inside her.
This should be easier. If only she hadn’t fallen for him. If only she’d stuck to her personal vow and kept sex as something that happened on the side rather than linking it to one guy, she wouldn’t be torn and he wouldn’t be confused.
She turned on her side and let her gaze travel over him. Over every hard line of his body, all that strength. She put a hand on his stomach. “We have time to decide about marriage later, don’t we?”
“It’s not about having a sell-by date.” He slipped his fingers through hers. “It’s about loving you.”
That sounded so good, yet so terrifying.
“We can love each other without getting married.”
“I want it all. The rings, our friends there. You looking so beautiful in your dress that I have no choice but to lock you in a bathroom and put my head under the skirt.”
Some of the tension escaped her body on a long exhale. She loved how he mixed sexy talk with romantic talk. Every now and then they’d be out and she’d see a certain wariness fall over people when they noticed his tattoos. Idiots. Little did they know there was an adorable loving softie lurking underneath all those muscles.
She leaned down and pressed a kiss on his bare arm. “That’s quite an image.”
“One you want to re-create in real life?”
There was an underlying thread of hope in his voice, and it nearly killed her.
Desperate to get through to him, she tried again. “You paint this happy, perfect scene, but I know what happens after. The slow death of that couple you see in your head. Add in job stress and financial troubles and we’ll sink.”
His gaze searched hers. “It doesn’t have to be that way. Not every marriage ends.”
“Can you promise me ours won’t?”
She knew the answer. She’d lived through the loss of a marriage twice, once from the sidelines and once right in the middle of it. The last time, her world imploded and she lost her job, her house, and her husband. The sad thing is, she only mourned the loss of one of those things, and it hadn’t been her ex, Gavin.
“Just because your parents had a terrible divorce doesn’t mean we will.”
“I’ve been divorced, too, remember?”
“That’s because you married a guy you thought would be safe.”
“And look how that turned out.”
No sex. Barely any talking. A lot of resentment, all of it aimed at her for not being who he wanted her to be…who she’d pretended to be.
Jasper moved in closer. His breath mixed with hers and the heat from his body wrapped around them. “I’m not your ex.”
“I get that.”
“And I get you. Flaws, strengths, needs, insecurities, and all.”
He did, right now, but…“I know.”
In so many ways Jasper was the anti-Gavin. Jasper grew up in North Carolina and still had a trace of that sexy Southern drawl in his voice. He had a fancy architecture degree but he loved working with his hands and never acted like he was more important than anyone else.
He’d been kicked out of his parents’ house long ago for not following the rules, for not being the person they wanted him to be—a well-behaved preacher’s son. And yet, he found his way. He came out the other side as one of the healthier people she knew.
“Gavin wanted a pretty wife and no stress.” Jasper snorted. “The guy was a dick.”
“He also hated sex.” That wasn’t quite fair. She liked to play and he didn’t. He thought she liked sex too much. It wasn’t until she met Jasper that she realized her owning her sexuality had threatened Gavin. It was his issue. There wasn’t anything wrong with her.
“I will never understand that, but I do understand you.” Jasper trailed a finger down her cheek. “I know what you need.”
“It’s not that simple.”
He slipped an arm around her waist and let it rest there loosely. Kissed her forehead. “Do you trust me?”
“With every part of me.” She snuggled in closer, inhaling and letting his scent waft through her.
“Then say yes.”
She pulled back and stared at him, willing him to understand. “If I say yes, this stops. The sex goes flat and the need fizzles out. Or worse, we enter a battlefield. Maybe not tomorrow or next year, but it will happen.”
“No way.”
“Jasper—”
“We are not them. Any of them you’re thinking about in that brilliant mind of yours.”
They’d started verbally circling. Every time this topic popped up her brain cells scattered. Old wounds opened and guilt slammed into her because she couldn’t find the right argument to spare him this pain. “We need to table this discussion.”
“So you can run away?”
“Nothing so dramatic. I need to get to work. I’ve been talking with a potential buyer, trying to get him to sign the paperwork to let me find him a place. It could be lucrative but I need to wow him in person.”
“That should be easy.”
She laughed. “Not everyone finds me irresistible.”
He toyed with her hair. “Idiots.”
“Could be, but since I have an actual buyer who needs an actual house, I’ve got to go.”
“You have a boyfriend who wants an answer but will settle for more sex.”
Before she could say anything, he pushed her onto her back and slid his body over hers. His weight held her in place as her arms slipped around his neck.
The world stopped rocking around her, but she knew she’d only dodged the issue for now. Never mind her own fears, and the part of him that he tried to ignore—that time years ago when being with a man excited him as much as being with her. She didn’t care if he was attracted to both. His bisexuality didn’t threaten her. But his steadfast refusal to talk about those days and deal with how that relationship ended added to her worries about their future.
Time to check back into reality. “My appointment is in thirty minutes.”
“I can make you come in twenty.”
She glanced down into the bit of space between their bodies. Not that she needed to look. She could feel his cock twitch against her hip. “You’re ready now?”
“Honey, I’ve got skills.”
She laughed, letting his charm overwhelm her as it always did. “Tell me more.”
“I’m going to use my mouth.” He nuzzled the side of her neck. “Just my mouth.”
The words were barely out of his mouth before he started moving. The friction as his body slid over hers proved almost unbearable. Her skin tingled, still sensitive from the last time. His nose brushed over her. He didn’t stop to kiss or caress her. Not until he settled between her legs.
His palms flattened against the inside of her bare upper thighs and spread her legs wide. “That’s better.”
“You said mouth only.”
His body skimming over hers reduced her to a shaking mess. The words came out between pants as her fingers grabbed the comforter to keep from shifting all around.
“Yes, ma’am.”
His tongue swept over her, through her wetness. With long licks he drew out every intimate touch. Back and forth, over her. When her hips moved in time with the steady rhythm, he changed the tempo and had her panting again.
In a matter of minutes, her shoulders pressed into the mattress. “Jasper.”
“You can still speak.” He blew a warm breath over her. “That means I need to work harder.”
Her muscles trembled from the strain. Every time he lifted his head, she pushed her lower body closer to his mouth. He played and teased until she grabbed the back of his neck and held him to her.
A laugh rumbled up from his chest and vibrated against her. His tongue found that spot and flicked over it. Round and round. Her hips bucked but he didn’t stop the sensual torture. No hands, no fingers. Just his mouth and that expert tongue. Licking and kissing. Bringing her to the edge before blowing a gentle breath over her and starting the whole process over again.
She tried to call out his name but her breath caught in her throat. Every muscle tightened as need spiraled inside her. Control abandoned her as she threw her arms out to her sides, seeking balance.
His tongue swept over her again. “Come for me, baby.”
“Yes.” Forgetting everything but the spinning deep inside her, she closed her eyes and obeyed. “God, yes.”