Madison

That kiss from Noah last night stirred something strange inside me. I barely shut my eyes all night, with a silly smile on my lips, running every detail of our adolescent encounters through my mind. First, at his house, he literally threw me on the wall and made me have one of the greatest orgasms of my life. And now, in the car, a kiss to make any young lady feel hot.

I think I’ve never been so early for anything in my life, let alone for work. But anxiety defines me right now. I choose my clothing carefully, a black leather pencil skirt below the knee with an opening that starts in the middle of the right thigh and goes all the way down, with a zipper to control the degree of sensuality. A black blouse with pink lace at the top and my blazer that, of course, is part of the uniform I’m supposed to wear.

I ditched my boots and chose pumps, black with pink. And, with my hair down in the wind, I go out to work. I know what you’re thinking: She did all this because of him! Well, it’s not my fault if there’s a hot, blonde judge at work. I call a cab to get to work still feeling fresh, beautiful and Red.

I get in and everything is silent, Robbie and most of the others are not there yet, because I’m almost an hour early. I go to my Office, leave my things, and head for Noah’s Chambers to set up his desk. A shiver runs through my body. I turn and see that man, opening his suit with a threatening smile.

“Good morning, Your Honor,” I say in a whisper.

Noah comes serious towards my direction and, without saying a word, assaults my mouth in a ravishing kiss. He puts an arm around my waist and pulls me towards him. The other hand goes up to my neck, and he pulls my hair to dictate the rhythm. This man has a devastating charm, an angel face and his kiss is pure sin.

When he separates his lips from mine, he stares at me with that powerful look.

“Good morning, Miss Harver.”

“That’s a great way to start the day,” I smile.

Noah looks at me from top to bottom.

“I know an even better one.”

He takes me by the waist and puts me on his desk, pulls my skirt up and gets between my legs. His hands seem to have a life of their own and they push my blouse down, exposing my breasts. His mouth travels down my neck, stopping at my nipples, while sucking one, pinching the other.

“Noah...” I whisper in his ear. And, as if I hit a switch, he’s even more hungry. He gets me off the desk and turns me around.

“Put your hands on the table.” I do what he asks. He pulls up my skirt, leaving my skin exposed. He strokes my ass, goes around my panties with his fingers and slaps me hard. “Your white skin looks beautiful with the shape of my hand on it. And your ass...” Noah gets closer and says in my ear, “Your ass is perfect, so perfect I feel the need to fuck it.”

A chill of anticipation runs through me. A mixture of sensations races through my body with this man’s statement. Before coherent thoughts can take hold of my mind, he positions me again, face to face, and kisses me long and tenderly. My heart does a double hoop and the image of his girlfriend pops up in my head. Thank you, reality. Always a bitch to me.

Noah looks at me with concern already pulling away.

“Is there a problem, Madison?”

“Someone can come in and catch us like this,” I nod and say, tidying up my blouse and lowering my skirt.

“You’re right,” He runs his hand through his hair, “I’ve been struggling with my self-control for a long time when it comes to you.”

His words make me happy and ... guilty. I go back to my Office to get ready to start the day’s work. I developed the habit of going into each room to wish everyone a good day. I’ve made good friendships and awakened the wrath of others who probably wanted to sit in Harriet’s chair, or on the judge’s lap. Who knows... I get the coffee for Noah and I give him the papers that were with me yesterday. I call his attention to a specific note.

“You have to come here to show me,” I just stand there, looking at him, wondering if I should go or not. That wicked smile makes an appearance again. “I’m not going to grab you, Miss Harver, unless you want me to, but then you’ll have to ask me for it.”

I roll my eyes and go to him.

“Do you see the disparity between these two pieces of information?”

“How did we miss that? That makes all the difference,” he says, concentrating on the notes and running his hand down my leg.

“It must have been the time you were trying to fuck me,” I say with a serious face.

Noah laughs hard.

“In the first place, you’re very appetizing, and second, you like it more than I do.”

“Narcissist,” I roll my eyes.

“I’m only being modest,” he replies.

I pull away and he slaps me in the ass. I put one hand on my waist, “Don’t you know that you shouldn’t touch your food. Now you’ll have to eat it,” unceremoniously, Noah gets up and gets closer to me. I hasten my step to my Office and tell him from afar, “It was a joke!”

“Don’t you know you shouldn’t joke with something serious?” I hear before I close the door.

The morning flies by. When I think of going out for lunch, the door opens and Noah walks in.

“Would you like to have lunch with me?”

“It depends,” I cross my arms.

“It depends on what, Madison?” He leans against the doorframe.

“On whether it’s an actual lunch or just an excuse to keep grouping me. I can sue you for harassment, you know?”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Are you sure?” I ask smiling.

“If you do that, I won’t be able to touch you anymore. And as we both know, you love when I do it.”

“Who said that?” I fake indignation.

As he walks back to his Office, he says, “Your orgasm and your moans,” I choke, and he goes on, “Before leaving, book a private table for two at Di’Napole.”

I quickly make the call and I have no problem reserving the table, Judge Lancaster is a very well-liked authority around here. Oh my! Why so much perfection in just one person? People say that no one is perfect, from where I’m standing, he is, but only perfection can make you sick of it. Oh yes, the table is not private, it’s in the middle of the room.

We headed toward the Courthouse garage and got into his powerful sports car, a Porsche.

“I’ve always dreamed of having a car like this...” I say without thinking.

“With so many desperate women in the world, how come you haven’t been able to afford one of those yet? You should charge more for it,” the idiot laughs.

“I don’t usually charge anything for it. But they insist on repaying me in some way,” I say embarrassed.

“Sorry, Madison. I cannot understand what you actually do for these women. To me, you’re a kind of love therapist, who helps these crazy women conquer their men, like that Will Smith movie.”

“It’s not like that,” I say.

“I keep thinking about that girl from Secret Garden, the one who married that jerk Isaac. Everyone knows you were responsible for that. Damn, I saw you at their wedding, I heard her, thanking you in front of everyone.”

The word fraud comes to me and I’m already regretting having agreed to have lunch with him. I take a deep breath and say:

“Nicki loved Isaac from the moment she laid eyes on him. The problem was that the guy was a selfish jerk, bringing the High Society ladies to the club with the intention of showing Nicki that he could get anything he wanted. And she suffered a lot because of him. It broke my heart and I tried to help her in my own way. She needed to understand that she didn’t depend on him to be happy, that crumbs cannot satisfy anyone, that she should never lower herself to try to be what the other wants and that a strong woman is a woman who loves herself...”

“That sounds more like personal vendetta...” Noah says, lost in his thoughts. I know he’s aware of my history, since he had me investigated. He must know that I was cheated on, became the black sheep of the family, and that I forced out of my hometown. For some reason, I feel small, a fraud, a joke... “I remember she went out with Ben a few times. I thought it was part of the jealousy plan,” he keeps going. This lunch will suck.

I answer vehemently:

“Nicki went out with Ben because she wanted to. He was never part of any plan of mine. Isaac insisted on destroying her self-esteem and being with Benjamin made her more confident. It had nothing to do with me, I wanted to kill them both when I heard about it.”

We arrived at the restaurant to eat, but for me, lunch had ended a long time ago. We sit at the table and he asks me, “What happened to the privacy I asked for?”

“It wasn’t available,” I shrug and tell him without looking at him.

“Back to the subject, you’re an activist of the feminist movement, but you’re go against their morals when you speak of Charming Princes.”

“Oh my...” I say while I’m setting the napkin in my lap, “I’m not a movement activist,” I fix my hair, “Do you prefer a secure woman, with attitude or a pretty woman, very needy and full of doubts?”

“There’s nothing sexier than a woman with attitude.”

“See?” I make a gesture with my hand, “That’s right. And that’s where I come in. I help them blossom this fortress inside them. That’s all.”

The waiter approaches the table and hands us the menu. Noah stares at it, shaking his head. I would give anything to read his mind.

“I’m trying to understand...” he says lost in his thoughts.

We place our order, a beautiful pasta dish for him, full of sauce and meat, and for me, a salad. My hunger ended the moment we started this subject again. He looks at me with an arched eyebrow.

“That’s all you’re gonna eat?” I nod. I don’t want to tell him that this conversation has taken away my appetite. I prepare myself for another round of questions from the hot guy and, out of nowhere, he goes another direction, “And what about your family, why are you estranged?”

Now my appetite is gone for good. I lift my eyes and face that piercing stare, waiting for an answer. Today is the day.

“As you may know, my family disowned me for not being compatible with their wishes.” Like The Ugly Duckling.

“Why not?” How insistent!

“I, like many others, was raised in a place where marriage is the greatest event in a woman’s life. According to tradition, we must spend years perfecting the technique of being the perfect wife. My training went on until the day I caught my ex-fiancé with his bitch cousin in bed,” I look at him and I say, with mockery, “But you probably already know about that. People blamed me for not being good enough to keep my marriage, others used to say that a good woman should accept her husband. So, I freaked out and people didn’t take it very well. I went to a meeting where the gossip ladies were gathered to pray, and I dished out a few nuggets of truths they never wanted to hear. Then, I did the same thing at my parents’ house, who didn’t care for it at all and disowned me.”

“What kind of truth would make a family exclude one of their own like that?”  His curiosity has no end.

Our food is served.

“Actually, my parents are the kind of people who cares too much about what others think and say. And the town’s official gossip club awakened my mother’s wrath, since she was pushed aside for having a wicked daughter.”

“I’m so sorry, Madison,” he smiles, and I can see sympathy in his eyes, “They don’t know what they’ve lost.”

“I don’t need your pity.” In fact, I don’t need pity from anyone.

I eat my salad as fast as I can. All this talk made me sick and all I want is to go home and hide. I miss my family, especially my father. Many times, I’ve blamed myself for everything that happened, other times I try to think of ways to ask for forgiveness. This emptiness hurts so much...

“Madison?” Noah’s looking at me with concern, “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m sorry for bringing it up, but you’re so different from anything I’ve ever known. I’m just curious to know everything about you...”

I force a smile.

“It’s alright. But we have to hurry, you have a meeting scheduled with the lawyers from the Lester Case in a few minutes.”

We finished our meal in silence and, as soon as possible, we left the restaurant. The moment he parks in the garage, he turns to me.

“I know that family is a delicate subject for you, and once again I apologize. But you caught my attention in so many ways and wanted to know a little more about you. You always look so invincible, so strong,” he runs his hand over my face and gives me a kiss on my lips, “You’re a force of nature, Madison.”

That gesture and those words washed over me. I need to stay away from this man... I need to, but I don’t want to. I keep telling myself that he’s taken, and yet, just looking at him makes desire take over. Urging for him. Shit!

I go back to my Office and spend the rest of the afternoon in front of the computer. I try to occupy my head, even with work from other departments, I did everything I could do to keep busy, even sealing letters. As soon as the clock stroke five o’clock, I went to Robbie.

“Could you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

“I...” I put on my miserable face and made my move, “I’m not feeling very well. Could you close the Office for me?”

“Oh, of course, don’t worry, Maddie. But are you gonna be okay? You want me to call somebody?” Robbie asks with concern.

“I just need to rest,” I say. I felt bad about lying to her. But it wasn’t a complete lie, I really was feeling bad. Talking about my family always takes a toll on me.

I leave the Office with tears in my eyes and go straight to the club. When I get there, I see that little girl from the yellow house, sitting on the street again, staring at nothing. She’d make an excellent model, it’s not every day that we come across a face like that. And, like the first time, a gentleman calls her inside, and she obeys. I get inside and head to the locker room to change my clothes, I check the refrigerators and the inventory.

“Maddie, Mrs. Lamarque is calling for you,” one of the girls says.

I nod and go meet Rebecka. I knock on her door and walk inside.

“Did you want to see me, Becka?”

Many times, Rebecka Lamarque surprises me with her beauty. She’s about as tall as me, long straight dark hair. Her eyes are green, almost gray. Her body is well defined, with lush curves, and her elegance is out of this world.

“I sure did. Come in! Sit down. How are things going in Judge Noah Lancaster’s Office?”

 “It’s okay, I guess, I’ve adapted well to the people and the work environment ...”

“Now you’ve offended me,” she says looking at me, very serious, “I thought we were friends, Madison.”

“And we are ...” that made my heart break.

“What’s going on between you and Noah?” she asks as she gets up, goes around the table and leans against it, facing me.

“There’s nothing going on,” I make my best poker face, “Why you ask?”

“Who you two think you’re fooling? Why is it that Noah’s been at the club every night? Why is he walking around with that silly grin on his face? Why are you smiling the same grin? You never smile. Is that a coincidence?”

“Yes, coincidence I guess. About the judge coming here every day, well, he’s got Carly at home, so he must be running from her. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish the inventory,” I leave and close the door, listening to her laugh.

Later that night, I see Noah arriving with Christopher, and they go straight to the private room. I’m a little disappointed, I was getting used to the idea of them sitting here at the bar.

Ramon comes over, “They want the full massage girls.”

“Oh really?” What a disappointment, “I’ll see to it, Ramon.”

I know what they like, I go looking for the right girls and they’re more than euphoric to be called up to the private room. Sleazy bimbos. I go back to the bar in a bad mood. Soon, Ben sits down in front of me and I say with irony, “Ain’t you going to the private room to get a full massage with your friends?”

“Calm down, woman. Why the anger?” He asks, laughing.

“I’m not angry...” I rudely reply.

“Then why are you trying to murder the ice?”

I realize I’m hitting the ice pick against an ice that is already completely chopped. I throw the thing in the sink with more strength than I should have. The damn ice pick bounces off the aluminum and comes back towards my hand, getting me a nasty cut.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!”

Ramon and Benjamin stand beside me. Ramon reaches for a towel to stop the bleeding and Ben takes me by the arm and leads me to the fucking private room.

 “Stay here, I’ll get a first-aid kit.”

The private room is sound proof and it has a lot of boots inside it. It’s an incredible place composed of black leather sofas, a corner bar full of drinks and red stools to contrast with the predominance of black.

I hear groans coming from one of the boots and I get curious. I walk carefully, to not be seen, until I reach one the boots. Inside, I see Chris lying in a bed, naked, and a girl, also naked, with her hand around his cock. I didn’t know Rebecka allowed that kind of thing here, I also didn’t know Chris’ cock was that big. Wow! I always knew they pick up girls here and take them back to a room. Sometimes I forget these guys practically own this place.

A thought goes through me, Noah is doing the same thing in another boot. I feel sick, and I turn around to get out of there, stumbling into Ben. He drops the box, making a huge noise, and the towel wrapped in my hand also drops to the floor. Soon, Chris shows up, wrapped in a towel and Noah, only with pants, makes an appearance. That messed with me more than it should. I look at Ben begging, “Get me out of here, please.”

He takes the towel out of the hands of the girl who was with Noah.

“Wrap this around your hand, quick.”

“No way. I’m not going to put that filthy thing in my hand,” I’m pissed off. This was all I needed, wrapping a cloth from his cock in my hand. I’m already heading for the door.

“It won’t stop bleeding, Madison. Let’s get you to the hospital,” Ben unfolds a towel and puts it over my hand.

Noah and Chris come closer and ask what happened, and I step back. Benjamin, by divine grace, understands that I have to get out of there and pulls me out, along with him. As soon as I leave the club, I breathe and the pain from the cut on my hand helps me clear my thoughts about Noah.

“What’s going on, Madison?” Ben asks.

“My hand is bleeding, and it hurts,” I say, looking out the window.

The phone rings, and Ben answers through the car’s system.

“Hey, Becka.”

“Ben, how’s Madison?” Rebecka asks.

“She is fine. I just think there’s too much blood coming out.”

We hear voices in the background, wanting to know where Ben was taking me.

Rebecka talks to us again, “Where are you taking her, Benjamin?”

I look at him, apprehensively.

“Becka, we’re at the hospital. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can,” before she could say anything, he hangs up and turns to me, “What’s going on, Madison?”

He parks the car, and we head to the emergency room, and I thank God for it. I look at my clothes and I’m startled by the amount of blood on it, the cut wasn’t that deep, was it? A nurse soon directs me to a doctor and then to the suture room. In the end, I cut a vein and got myself five stitches and a bandaged hand.

In less than an hour, we were on our way to the car, I gave him my address and closed my eyes. On the way, I pretended that I was asleep so that Ben wouldn’t pressure me about what was happening. How am I going to tell him something I don’t even know? I don’t know what’s happening to me, I look at that damn judge and I can feel my body on fire, then he looks at me and, by the looks of things, the same thing goes on over there. And soon, we’re entangled in each other until one of us, me in that case, is close to, if not having, an orgasm. How can I explain that?

He stops the car in front of my house and tries to wake me up, gently.

“Maddie, we’re here, princess.”

“Thank you for everything, Ben,” I kiss his face, “See you tomorrow.”

He hands me his card.

“If you need anything, at any time. Got it?”

I smile. He gets even more beautiful when he’s serious.

“I’ll call if I need you.”

I get out of the car, and he waits until I’m inside to drive off. In the heat of the moment, I forgot my purse with all my stuff back at the club. Damn it! With nothing left to do, and with the doctor’s medication kicking in, I change my clothes, lie down and pass out.

I wake up with someone knocking on the door, insistently. I get up without the slightest will, put on my robe and go answer the fucking door. I open it to find Noah, hotter than ever in a navy-blue suit and white shirt. I step back, and he comes in.

“Am I late again?” I ask.

“No. I came by early because I was worried about you,” he frames my face with his hands, “Are you alright? I could barely sleep worried about you, plus, Carly wouldn’t shut up...”

I step away from him and go to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and see the beauty of darkness reflected in me. I crawl into the shower, taking care not to wet the bandage in my hand. The doctor said that after twenty-four hours I can get rid of it. I take the time I need to wash my soul and cool my body from his touch.

I feel the presence of someone and I look back to see Noah, shirtless, coming towards me. He opens the glass door and says, “Let me wash you, please, Madison?”

I turn around and put my hands on the wall and give him the permission he needs. I should be ashamed of being naked, but I never had anyone caring enough to wet their work clothes just to wash my body.

Noah washes me in silence, he just caresses my skin, nothing sexual. And I enjoy receiving care and affection from someone. As soon as it’s over, he kisses my shoulder and holds out the towel.

I step out, dry myself and go to the bedroom. I get my cotton lingerie, jeans and a blue shirt. I choose a sandal and I run my fingers through my hair, I like the messy style. I find Noah finishing the buttons on his shirt.

“I’m ready.”

He comes to me.

“I need to know how you are, Madison. Did you hear the part where I said I couldn’t sleep?”

“Yes, and also when you said that the Ball-and-Chain wouldn’t stop talking,” I say with mockery.

He runs his hands through his hair, which was well combed until now.

“My relationship with Carly it’s been hell ...”

“Okay, let’s go,” I lift my injured hand, intending to stop his yapping.

Noah presses me against the wall.

“You are my refuge. Can you understand that?” I nod at the sincerity in his eyes. He takes my mouth in a quiet, delicious kiss. “Are you alright? Do you think you can work today?”

“I’m better now.”

He kisses me one more time, and we go to work. On the way, he wouldn’t stop holding my hand. As much as he’s arrogant, and often stupid, I love being with Noah. I know there’s Carly and I don’t want to be the other woman, but having him here, close to me, is so good. As soon as we go into his Chambers, he puts on his toga and says, “I have a day full of hearings today,” I go to him and help him get dressed. He goes on, “If you feel bad or anything, ask the Office driver to take you home.”

“Okay, Judge.” Noah kisses me with desire. This is the kind of incentive workers should have.

“See you later, Red.”

After he leaves, I go to my Office to start the day. I go into each Office, handing out a list of priorities, then I organize the judge’s desk, make some phone calls, and talk to a few people. My hand still bothers me, the stitches are hurting, and I need some coffee. I decide to go to the coffee shop in the corner and I pass by Robbie on the way.

“I’m going to get some coffee. Can I get you anything?”

“No, thank you,” she says, and her smile is bright.

Today is a cold day. The cold air hits my face, making my skin burn. I rush to the warmth of the coffee shop and I get in line to place my order. I stand behind two women who are engaged in an intense conversation.

“She’s going out with him. I told her that going out with the boss is not a good idea. He’s married, he’ll never leave his wife to be with her. Let’s be honest, no man actually choses the other woman,” says the bleached blonde.

“He tells his secretary that he’s having problems at home, that she’s his safe haven to endure everything. that he’ll put an end to that dying relationship, but in the end, he’ll have both, the sacred marriage at home and the Office whore. That’s what every man dreams of...” adds the friend with fake beach blonde hair.

That was a slap in my face. My throat closes, and I find it difficult to breathe. I try to take the scarf off my neck, but I can’t seem to untie the damn thing. I rush out of the coffee shop and head towards the park across the street. I take a deep breath a few times, I lift my face so that the icy air can penetrate my soul and suppress this strange feeling.

I sit on one of the benches and stare at the people passing by. And the voices at the coffee shop come back to my head, “he’ll have the sacred marriage at home and the Office whore ...”. God, no matter how hard I struggled not to be a whore, I ended up entangled in my own web. I know how much it hurts to have a third person in a relationship, I went through that, I spent days in bed trying to figure out where I went wrong. And, today, I’m here, being the other woman.

I’ve always been disgusted by such men. I’ve always called them cowards for fooling two people simultaneously, the problem is that in my case, I know there is someone else. I’ve argued that women don’t have to go through this kind of situation, there is no love that can resist it. I look around me and I get the impression that everyone’s pointing at me and laughing, ghosts come back to haunt me again. I close my eyes and shake my head to organize my thoughts. I never cared that they pointed at me and I’m not going to start now.

I go back to the Office, I get everything done early because I want to go home as soon as I can. I call the restaurant and order Noah’s lunch, I pass along some things to Robbie and I let her know I’m not well and I show her my hand. I pick up my things and go home, to my fortress.

As soon as I get there, I take off my clothes, put on a warm coat, and sit on the couch. Noah’s kisses and his touch invade my mind. I can still smell him. And his words, ‘You’re my refuge.’, come back to haunt me. I don’t want to be a refuge to someone who already has someone else. Honestly, I don’t even want a commitment, I don’t want anything, I just want my life back, I want to have one-night stands with whoever I want.

That’s right! No more making out at the Office, or anywhere else, no more helping the boss at his apartment, no more Noah. Tomorrow morning, I’ll call Harriet to make sure she’s back and beg her to assign me somewhere else to finish my fucking sentence. I fall asleep smiling with victory.