Chapter 24
It was nearly dark when Luke finally returned, and none of us had heard from Nick yet. Sam destroyed me over and over in his favorite game, but he never once gloated, nor did he take it easy on me, so I accepted Luke's return as the perfect excuse to stop dying.
"Hey, you're back!" I said, dropping the controller.
"Yeah, sorry." Luke flopped onto the couch beside me. "Had to pull a few strings."
"Want to explain that?" Looking between Sam and Luke, it was obvious I was the only one out of the loop.
"He found a few of his angel friends," Sam said, turning off the console. "How'd that go?"
Luke sighed. "Not as well as I hoped."
The way he was looking at me, I knew he was avoiding something. "Spill it," I demanded.
"Might as well," Sam agreed. "And if you show me yours, I'll show you mine."
"So, Uriel is still pretty neutral." Luke glanced at me. "Um, he said Mike's pissed she got away. Gabe's fucked up and they had to drain a few of their slaves just to find out what happened."
Which meant kill. Oddly, the death of strangers didn't really bother me as much as I expected. I was more upset at the idea of humans as slaves.
"What's the deal with the plants?" I asked, remembering the stack of bodies.
"Fairy plants," Luke explained, but my blank look made him go on. "They're almost sentient. Compost from human bodies allows them to grow, and the plants can be harvested for aether, their dead leaves feeding more slaves."
"Oh."
"Yeah." Luke sighed. "Sounds like they're trying to make another portal from Angelis to Earth. The idea is that the atmospheric aether can be siphoned off, and if the portal is high enough, only flying creatures will stumble through it."
"Planes?" I asked.
He nodded. "Free delivery of new slaves if it happens."
"So how do we stop them?"
"That's a question for Nick." He lifted his chin at Sam. "Your turn."
"Sia pulled so much aether from Gabriel that she couldn't hold it all, but it clung to her on your flight home. Nick siphoned a bit off and went to wake up Beelzebub."
"Oh fuck," Luke groaned.
"That's a good thing," Sam reminded him.
Luke just shook his head. "You're not the one who'll get his wings broken."
I lifted a hand, drawing their attention. "You and Beelzebub, not so friendly?"
"No," they both said.
Luke sighed. "In the great war, um, two thousand years ago, or so? Well, I ended up face to face with him. It was a wound I inflicted that let Gabriel drain him." Luke lifted his hand slightly, then let it drop. "So, for him, that was a couple of days ago. For me, not so much."
"Well, I won't let him break your wings."
"Uh," Sam shook his head. "He's not really the kind to listen."
But I'd already figured one thing out. "He will be, or I'll drop his ass back to the ground."
Luke chuckled and rubbed the top of my head, mussing my hair badly. "I like it. And you can learn to heal when you put me back together."
"Deal."
"Wait." Luke held up a finger as he looked back to me. "You pulled aether from Gabriel. Nick is waking up Beelzebub. How?"
Sam leaned back and kicked his feet onto the coffee table, grinning. "There was a little sucking face upstairs."
"Yeah," Luke said, ignoring that. "But Nick's locked."
"Not to her."
I realized Sam wasn't about to explain so gave it my best shot. "He did something and spoke a language I didn't know, and um, I guess it worked?"
Luke yanked at the collar of his shirt, pulling it low enough to expose his chest. "Have anything to do with this thing?" A circle of symbols was branded on his chest, just like Nick's.
"Maybe? I was touching it." I bit my lip and looked at Sam.
"It's our seal," Sam said, lifting his own shirt to expose not only his but also a pierced nipple. "Every immortal has one. It's our key to the gates."
"Mine's keyed to both Daemin and Angelis," Luke explained. "Because I helped craft the system, they can't really undo it without my cooperation." He looked at me, waiting, but when I didn't say anything he groaned. "Sia, the same applies for Nick. He can't stop you from pulling aether from him now. Not unless you agree to be locked back out."
"Or pushing it in," Sam added.
"Ok? But I don't have a seal thing."
Luke dismissed that. "You do, just not marked. We all do. It's the pattern of our aether and the basis of all magic. Nick was locked to everyone but his own seal. That's what those runes are on his body. We all have some sort of protection, but Nick went overboard. Where ours are like chain link fences, his protections are more like Fort Knox."
Sam chuckled. "Luke's freaking out because Nick's been locked from everyone for pretty much ever. Only he controls his aether and he never took a snooze because no one could get through his wards. He also had to be conscious to repair or he was pretty fucked."
"And he can't change his mind?" That sounded like a big deal from the way these guys talked.
"Not without your help," Luke said. "Don't tell anyone else, not even Beelzebub, about this, ok?"
"Yeah." I ran my hand across my mouth, trying to remember what had happened. "Why did he do that? Why didn't he just take it from me?"
"Beer?" Sam asked Luke.
"Sure. Get the Muse a coffee?" Luke suggested. I started to complain, but Luke shook his head, waiting until Sam was gone. "He's just giving you privacy. Pulling aether is a tricky business. It's also not a pleasant experience. With that said, giving aether is the opposite. They are not at all the same. The only analogy I can think of is like the difference between sex and rape, but it's not quite that violating."
"And when he does his Death stuff?"
Luke cocked his head in what was meant to be a shrug. "He encourages, but it's always a gift. That's why Death's portrayed as a lover in so many poems. The few a reaper can't finish off? They remembered the seduction of it. Nick's so powerful because he's learned a way to all but force them to give. He slips halfway over and lulls their minds." He paused. "But his trick doesn't have a stop button. It's all or nothing, usually."
"But if he's locked, how do they give?"
Luke shook his head. "It's not the same. They release and he catches before it disperses. They don't push it into him." He grinned mischievously. "Think of it like a hundred dollar bill. If I stole it from you, that would hurt. If I found it laying in the grass, that would be awesome. If you pressed it into my hand, I'd be really touched."
"Ok, I get it," I admitted. "And donating always feels good?"
He smiled slyly. "Tell me, how hot and bothered were you by the time he was done?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Everything," he assured me. "Giving your aether is one of the most intimate things you can do, even if your human body doesn't understand. It's life. No different from nurturing a child or lying with a lover. The exchange is just as basic, which means it feels just as good."
"Oh."
He nodded slowly, green eyes amused. "So, how do you feel about him stalking hospitals now?"
"I don't know, Luke. I can't even understand half of what y'all try to explain. Thinking that Nick gets off on killing little old men kinda freaks me out, but I saw him do it, and he didn't act like that. I dunno. I feel like a five-year-old listening to grown-ups talking about how babies are made."
"Good analogy." He leaned back and tossed his arm over my shoulder. "Long ago, before other worlds had developed a sentient species, the only form of care we knew was sharing life – aether. That doesn't mean it was seen as sexual. Just like caring for a parent isn't. It's still nurturing. No one is disgusted when a mother loves her child. We innately understand that it has to do with care and protection. Aether transfer is the same, but care and protection can be arousing in the right circumstances, with the right person."
I nodded, finally understanding. "So, do demons even feel love?"
"Yes, of all types. The problem is that outworlders are all men. We may only have a single gender, but we are still men, and have the same desires. We probably wouldn't have known what we were missing except that someone figured out how to cross the veils." He sighed. "So when we saw women, we liked your kind just as much as any human man would. Well, most of us. There are gay outworlders who are only attracted to men, just like there are gay humans."
"But Nick said –" I tried to bite off the sentence before Luke noticed. It didn't work.
"Finish that," he encouraged. "I know almost all of his secrets, but I'm not sure which you're referring to."
With a sigh, I gave in. I could always apologize later. "He said he'd never been with a human before."
"Nope. He preferred fairies. First, because they don't die so fast and break our hearts. Second, well, I swear that beast has a thing for sharp-tongued ladies. Even when he fell for a satyr, he always picked the strongest will he could find. Like you."
"Really?"
Luke lifted one shoulder in a partial shrug. "He's not some kind of sweet virgin, Sienna. He just isn't attracted to screaming or crying women, and that's the response he tends to get from humans. For centuries, you've all been taught to fear the Devil. Fairies weren't as concerned with what others said about him, and they didn't really take to religion. And those women are well known for their sass. He just happens to find that amazingly sexy."
"Yeah, I can see that." It actually explained quite a bit.
"But you really aren't like the other women. Well, other humans. You're doing pretty good with all of this, and your questions make sense. You haven't worried about going to Hell, if we've seen your grandmother, or anything like that. You're acting more like a demon – just the facts."
"Good, because I feel like I'm losing my mind."
"Sucks having your world turned upside down, huh?" He looked down at me fondly.
"It kinda does. I'm pretty sure I can't even go home, not with all those angels out there, and Gabriel is going to be pissed when they fill him back up." I groaned. "And I can't finish my degree, not if the veils are pointing me out to anyone that can read them!"
"We have a spare room," Luke offered. "Rent's pretty cheap too."
"I don't really have an option, do I?"
"Not a good one," he agreed. "Let us move your stuff over, have Nick teach you the basics of working with aether, and we can go from there."
I hated the idea. I really did, but I also knew it was the only way to stay safe. That these guys had become friends made it a lot easier, but inside I wanted to scream that they couldn't make me do this. The problem was that they weren't. The angels were, and if I wanted to stay alive and in control of my own life, then I had to put on my big girl undies and suck it up.
"Can you take care of my job, classes, and lease?"
His hand closed on mine. "Promise. If you didn't ask, Nick would've."
I nodded, looking up shyly at Luke. "I really do like him. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I do." He pulled me against him in a friendly hug. "Just remember he's not human, ok?"
"Ok?"
He smiled at me weakly. "The demon thing. Seeing it scares women off."
"But you look the same, just gold and shiny, but that's about it."
"You missed the wings?" He gasped, making a production out of it. "Big white things? C'mon, you had to see them!"
"You know what I mean."
He laughed and nodded. "Yeah. You're right. Angels got the shiny, but demons come in more colors. They get horns and tails to go with the wings, but the main stuff is all the same."
"Then I don't understand what the big deal is about."
Luke shrugged. "Being told your whole life that Hell is a very bad place, mostly. That, and the horns are a little intimidating."
"Great defense." Nick stood in the doorway, exhaustion written across his face.
I couldn't help but surge to my feet when I saw him. "You're back!"
He nodded slowly. "Beelzebub sent you a message, Lucifer."
"I know. He's going to kick my ass."
Nick shook his head and staggered to the couch. "Nah. He said he understands, and if I trust you, he'll give you a chance." He tried to smile, but his lips didn't quite make it. "He also said if you fuck up, he's chopping you into tiny pieces and feeding you to hatchlings."
"Baby dragons," Luke told me. "I think I'm ok with that."
"Good, because he's stopping by tomorrow." Nick leaned his head back. "I'd kill for a coffee."
I was the closest to the door. "I can do that." So I hurried into the kitchen, nearly colliding with Sam. "Nick needs coffee," I said.
"Yeah, I felt him come back." He handed me the coffee and a beer. "Give that to them, I'll bring you another."
"Thanks, Sam."
I'd finally started to find my way around. I still hadn't found a bathroom on the first floor, but I could make it from the coffee pot to the living room without getting lost. Returning, I passed Luke the beer and moved to sit beside Nick, careful not to spill the overfull cup.
"Thanks, dove." He sipped at it gratefully. "I didn't expect you to be up and around."
"Really?"
He shook his head. "Not with that much aether or after that much excitement." He leaned his head back again, closing his eyes.
Luke tapped his chest, then gestured to Nick. It took me a second, but I realized he was suggesting I give him a little more aether, the only problem was that I didn't know exactly how. I chewed at my lip, trying to remember what had happened before while Sam made his way back in.
Luke took that as a sign to start talking. "Uriel said Gabe's fucked up."
Nick nodded and moved his hand to my knee, draping one of my legs over his. "Good. One less thing to worry about tonight."
It seemed so casual, just hanging out on the sofa, talking about destroying angels and reviving demons. Like this was no big deal at all. Just a normal day's work. Somehow, that also made it feel a little more real.
Shifted sideways with my leg draped across Nick's muscular thigh, I tuned out their plans to stop the portal. Instead, I found myself trailing my fingers down the back of Nick's neck. His long, silky hair slid through my hands like ink. He leaned into the touch, but his attention was focused on the larger threat.
It didn't take long before I realized he'd already become more vibrant. Unfortunately, he did, too. His hand reached up to catch mine, and he pulled it away slowly. "Stop that," he whispered.
"Feel better?"
His attention had shifted completely to me, shutting out both Luke and Sam. "Much." A roguish smile teased his lips, drawing my eye. "The problem is you don't know when to stop."
"And when should I stop?"
Nick's eyes held mine. "Before I tell Sam and Luke to leave."
Sam laughed, breaking the mood and pulling me back to the present. "You want to screw the Muse, you take her to your room or we get to enjoy the show."
"One of theirs, at least," Luke mumbled.
Nick's head whipped around in surprise. "One of ours?"
"She's moving in," Luke said. "The red room, I think."
"I like red," I agreed.
Sam chuckled. "Good, because it's next to his."
Nick looked back at me. "When did this happen? You ok with this?"
"While you were playing back home, and ok is a good word to use." I shrugged, trailing my fingers down his neck one last time. "I can admit that I was wrong. And I'm pretty sure Gabe is going to be pissed."
"To put it mildly," Luke added.
"I don't have any family who'll miss me, and I'm not the type to just make friends –"
"Thanks," Sam teased.
I waved him down. "Human friends. Luke can fix shit at school and I really need to learn how to use this stuff." I wiggled my fingers. "Which means I don't have time for college anyway. Not if I want to stay alive, and I kinda do."
Nick nodded, but it wasn't enthusiastically. "I'm sorry, little dove."
"It's ok. Who knows, maybe I can gather enough aether to wake up some more of your friends?"
Nick grabbed my hand. "No," he said. "You're not reaping the dead."
"Why not?"
Sam whistled softly. "Uh oh," he muttered.
"You have no idea what that would do to you." For the first time, Nick looked intent enough to convince me he was a demon.
I wasn't scared, though. "Then explain it."
"You really want to see hundreds of people die, at your touch, just so you can wake up a legion?" He shook his head, long hair waving against his chest. "Over and over, they beg you to fix them, and you can't."
"There are things worse than death, Nick." I gestured to Luke. "Angels are a pretty good example, I think."
"Hey!" We both ignored Luke's protest.
I went on. "I'm a Muse, right? Well, what am I supposed to do if not help?"
"Inspire people. Change the world. Protect humans. Create poets. That's what you're supposed to do, Sia. Not worry about our war!"
Grinding my teeth, I lifted my chin. "Then why were you looking for me?"
"Busted." Sam raised his beer in tribute to my argument.
"Stay out of this," Nick snapped.
Luke tapped his own bottle to Sam's. "A lover's quarrel, how cute."
I grabbed Nick's face and turned it back to me. "Let me make this real clear, Satanael. You can't stop me. Every Muse is different, right? Every Muse is influenced by her culture? Well, this is mine. Humans suck, demons are my only friends, and I fucking hate angels. Not you, Luke."
"Thanks."
I smiled quickly but went on before I lost the point. "I have a talent that is impressive enough to alter physics, and if I understand correctly, it's kinda a big deal. Well, that means that no matter what I do, I'm fucked." Sam choked, trying to swallow his beer before he spit it across the floor, but I ignored him. "If the best aethersmith in Daemin is willing to teach me how to use this little gift, then the least I can do is help y'all wake up your friends, protect your home, or whatever it is that my friends need."
Silence hung in the air as Nick just looked at me. His eyes flicked between both of mine, and the corner of his lip lifted a couple of times as thoughts shuffled through his mind. I refused to look away, but I hoped he wouldn't leave me hanging too long – and that I hadn't upset him.
Finally, he nodded. "On one condition."
"What?"
"You learn how to control it first, then reap one, and only one, soul. If two days later, you still want to do this, I'll teach you everything I know."
"A deep red," Luke said to Sam.
"Silk," Sam agreed.
"What?" I looked at them, completely confused.
Luke smiled back. "Your robe, Lady Death. They always expect you to have a robe. I think every demon wears one in the corridor."
"You're a little ahead of yourselves," Nick told them.
Sam took another long drink. "You wish." He gasped as he swallowed. "This one's not like the others."
"The others?" I asked.
"Muses," Luke said.
"Y'all hang out with a few?"
"Oh no," Sam assured me. "Most Muses are annoying, spoiled, temperamental brats. People adore them and shower them with everything they ever desired."
"Wait." I sat up, pulling my legs from Nick's lap. "I was ridiculed as a kid. The stereotypical redheaded stepchild type thing."
Sam shrugged. "Redheads are hot; kids, not so much."
"I wasn't showered with gifts or even liked by anyone."
Nick looked at me slowly. "Go on?"
"I was abandoned at a fire station on Parker Street. That's how I got my last name. They never figured out who did it, but it wasn't like they had surveillance either."
Nick nodded, his attention hanging on every word. "And then?"
"Um, I supposedly got bounced from my first foster home for hating angels. I refused to go to church because of the pictures of angels, but I don't remember any of that. It's just what they put in my file."
By this time, Luke and Sam were sitting up, listening as closely as Nick. I swore I'd told them most of this, but realized it had been pieces to each of them.
"What else?" Luke asked.
I lifted my hands in surrender. "There was some deal about me being addicted to something when they found me, but they couldn't figure out what from my blood work. I mean, I was five, so not like still latched onto the tit, right? Whatever it was, I had to be taking it, or given it."
"Shit," Sam breathed, but Nick held up his hand, urging me to keep going.
"So, I got picked on for being a freak as a kid. I didn't do so well in school, but I kept my grades high enough to graduate, and when I turned eighteen, I moved out. Well, it was a pretty clear agreement between my foster parents and myself. Soon as I turned eighteen, I moved out or they'd kick me out."
"But you always liked the arts?" Nick asked.
"Yeah. Took ballet as a kid and had the little solo bit. Did gymnastics when I was twelve. Played clarinet in band. That sorta thing. Um, I'm a failure at sports, but learned to play the piano in junior high."
"Poetry?" Sam asked.
"A little here and there in high school. Mostly dark, brooding, angsty crap. You know, pretty typical for a teenage human girl."
Nick grabbed my arm gently. "How long did it take you to break the addiction, and what were your symptoms?"
"I dunno, a couple of months, maybe?" I realized they were all looking at me a little too intently. "Why?"
"What symptoms, Sia?"
"Um, they said I acted drunk half the time, and that I'd throw things, break things, and just have crazy tantrums. I guess I was pretty evil." I tilted my head, lifting my eyebrows. "Why?"
He still didn't answer, looking over to Luke instead. "As a five-year-old?"
"She's warping the veils," Luke said, sounding unsure.
"How many people did you hurt?" Sam asked.
I looked up, sure the guilt was on my face. "A few. It seems I was a spoiled brat who couldn't be controlled until I was like seven or eight. Again, I don't remember hardly any of that. I was little."
Sam grinned, glancing to the others before he nodded. "How?" he asked me. "What did you do that hurt people?"
"I would have these tantrums, and I guess I threw things? I know I broke one foster mom's arm when she tried to stop me, but that's about it. Why?"
Nick reached over and grabbed Luke's beer, taking a long sip before answering. "You weren't addicted to a drug." He chuckled and took another drink then passed the bottle back. "Sia, you've been pulling aether since you were a child. You were high on life, little dove. No wonder you can drain a damned angel."