Chapter 2
Shift grabbed the plain wood door before them and pulled it open, gesturing for her to go first. Sal pulled off her cap as she entered and took a deep breath, looking around. The ever-present sweet smell was faint, little more than a tickle in her nose. Instead, she savored scents that felt natural and comforting. They reminded her of something from long ago.
Across the room, Lieutenant Blaec Doll stood with his bare back to them. At the sound of the door, his head tilted, he grabbed a clean shirt from the chair beside him, and shoved his arms into the sleeves as he turned. His chest was smooth, perfect except for one pale line across his hip that vanished under the waist of his pants. She wondered how a soldier could've fought for so long without the marks to prove it. When her eyes finally made their way to his face, he was waiting.
"She doesn't have a clue," Shift said, leaving her side to drop into a chair before a massive desk. "Pretty good instincts, though. We've been chatting."
The Lieutenant nodded. "I see that. Any reason you didn't give me a warning?"
"Nope." Shift grinned and leaned back, the chair creaking in protest. "Brought her to the office like I was told. Not my fault you're half naked."
He chuckled. "If you'd been any earlier, I would have been all naked."
"What," Shift teased, "didn't want to stay in armor all day?"
"Nor show my bare ass to the recruits." The Lieutenant grinned before turning to Sal. "So, Private. Heard you've been making things interesting."
Sal wasn't sure if she was already off to a bad start, but dared to hope that Shift was right. "I'm sorry, sir."
He stopped just a step away, his hard green eyes boring into hers. When she refused to look down, he smiled slowly. "I see. And how long can you keep that up, little iliri?"
He was challenging her intentionally! As long as I need to, she thought, but said, "Pardon me, sir?" Her ears flicked forward, locked on him, wondering what he was trying to do.
"Her mind and her tongue don't agree," Shift said. "I'm getting a drink if you're gonna start that shit."
"Pour her one, too," the Lieutenant ordered, never breaking the gaze. "She'll need it." He stepped closer, his attention back on her. "Now tell me, are you always this submissive?"
He was taunting her. When she refused to blink, he stared back, a smile playing at his mouth. Sal tried to ignore the sudden desire to see him look away. He outranked her, but every fiber in her body said she deserved to see him submit. While Shift poured the drink, she tracked him with an ear, never breaking her stare with the Lieutenant.
"How long can you really hold it?" he whispered.
The arrogance in his tone was too human, too sure of himself. Her ears locked back and a rumble started in her throat. When he leaned forward she snarled, allowing her lips to pull back, revealing both sets of cutting teeth. He was too close.
The Lieutenant smiled. "You really think you can make me back down? Are you really that sure of yourself?"
"That would be improper, sir," Sal said, refusing to look away. Her tone was professional even if the growl wasn't.
He leaned even closer. "Iliri rarely care about the ranks of humans, girl. Either you're more dominant than me, or you aren't. Pick one, and prove it." His voice was so quiet she assumed Shift hadn't heard.
"Don't push it," Shift said as the door opened behind them. "She's running on pure instinct. Never met our kind before."
"Shit." The new voice sounded like Razor, the officer who'd spoken to them earlier. "Feral?"
"No." The Lieutenant's voice was a purr. "Not at all. Strong, but not feral." He leaned back, looking pleased. "Now go sit down, Private. That's an order."
Sal paused. Her instincts said she should not look away or she'd give him control. Her mind realized that disobeying the order would be a good way to end her trials early. Desperately, she tried to decide which would be the greater loss. Eventually, she forced herself to blink, took a deep breath to halt the growl, and sighed before moving to the chair beside Shift, refusing to rub at her ears to relax them. She wouldn't give him that much satisfaction. The door opened again.
"I smell that," Arctic said. "What did you do to her?"
"Made her submit," Razor told him. "She's not too pleased about it."
Sal's head snapped around, looking at the men she sat with. "I didn't say anything!"
Razor tapped his nose. "Didn't have to. Even Shift can smell that. Defeat. It's not a good scent for you, Kaisae."
"She doesn't know," The Lieutenant said, claiming the chair behind the desk.
Arctic took the chair beside her. "So I was right."
The other three answered in unison, all with some variation of yes. It seemed they'd already had a discussion about her, and Sal felt like she was playing catch up.
"Tamed?" Arctic sounded terrified of the answer.
"Not at all," the Lieutenant said. "No, not at all. She knows nothing, but she hasn't been tamed, even though she tries really hard to act like it."
"I'm not a beast," Sal insisted, looking at them, one after the other. "I know you think my kind are primitive, but I've studied for years, I am well versed in both military and civilian protocols, I – "
The Lieutenant shook his head, cutting her off with a lift of his hand. "Don't assume, Private. Breathe. How much human sugar do you smell?"
She shook her head, confused.
"That sweet scent. Do you smell it?"
"Barely," she admitted.
"That's probably me," Shift said.
Sal glanced toward the Lieutenant. "And him."
Razor sucked in a breath. "Whoa. That's perceptive."
She turned to him. "A hint on you, too."
Arctic chuckled. "How about me?"
Sal inhaled. "Barely. It's there, but I have to search for it. Humans never said anything about it, I thought everyone smelled sweet, except after combat."
LT laughed. "After combat we smell even sweeter, from the human blood. From your file, you have little experience with iliri, so I'm not surprised that you have no idea. I'm just pleased to see you're still able to think for yourself. Too many of us have lost that."
She noticed he included himself in the iliri. Blaec Doll had fair skin, but the wrong shade to be suspected of iliran ancestry. No different than any other citizen of the Conglomerate.
The Lieutenant watched her eyes roam across him and smiled. "I'm half. Shift is a quarter. Razor is around forty percent. Arctic, you're three quarters, right?"
"A bit over, but about that."
Sal felt her heart stop. "Iliri?"
"Yes." The Lieutenant smiled and leaned closer. "We're iliri crossbreds. That's why we're so good. Now you want to tell me how you managed to get into our mental link, Salryc Luxx?"
"Sal." She looked up, hoping she hadn't over stepped her bounds.
His pale eyes warmed and he inhaled deeply before daring to taste her name. "Sal." It rolled off his tongue naturally.
Trying to cover her confusion with a direct answer, she rambled on, "I don't know how I heard your thoughts, sir. The First Sergeant touched me and I began to hear his voice in my head. I've never had it happen before."
"And I shook her hand," Shift added. "She's a natural. Comes through clear."
Really? The Lieutenant's voice slid into her mind. How?
I don't know, sir. I just hear it.
And you just think back? How do you know what to do?
I don't know. She looked down, unable to hold his eyes.
Arctic broke in. "She's not leaking at all. She's locked onto her channel but receptive to all of them. I don't know how she's doing it. If I wasn't looking for her, I probably wouldn't even know she's here." He tapped his head. "Pretty sure she's piggybacking without knowing it."
The Lieutenant dragged his hand across his mouth. "But you can't shut her off?"
"Dunno, never met anyone who could do it before. I've only heard about it. But it might help to put her into the link. That would at least let me moderate her access." Arctic shrugged. "Tethering her will be easy enough."
A deep baritone asked in her head, So, do you have to touch each of us, or can you just hear us? He sounded like he was talking from a distance.
Sal cocked her head slightly. "No. I hear that, but it's muffled."
Razor offered his hand and Sal touched it lightly. How about now? he asked.
As clear as if you used your voice, Sal told him.
"Yep, touching clears it up, but the lack isn't stopping her any."
"But I didn't need to touch the Lieutenant to hear him." She looked over to Arctic, hoping for an explanation.
He shrugged. "LT's been doing this his whole life. He sends better than the rest of us."
"I had no idea this was even possible. I assure you, I had no intention of causing you problems."
LT laughed. "I'm pretty sure you didn't." He turned to Arctic and nodded. "Do it."
She felt a strange shift in her head, but nothing else. Beside her, the men sighed, obviously experiencing something as well. "She's in," Arctic said.
Slowly, the Lieutenant held out his hand, palm up. "Let me show you something."
She didn't want to touch him but knew it's what he expected. Meekly, Sal reached over and lay her hand against his, hearing him inhale as if surprised. Instead of the slick, disturbing feeling she expected, his skin was warm and soft, the calluses from hours of sword work comfortable and reassuring. He closed his eyes and let his fingers wrap around the back of her palm, holding her to him. For a long moment he didn't move, then his eyes snapped open.
My mother had eyes like yours, he thought, followed with a picture of an iliri woman. There aren't many like you left.
Do they know? She meant the other officers.
Yes. We don't keep secrets from each other, but we also don't share them with outsiders.
I understand. She shuffled the image far back in her mind.
"Anything?" LT asked suddenly.
"Nope." Razor shook his head.
"Not a hint," Shift said.
"I got every word, and the location she stored the memory," Arctic assured him.
LT nodded, "And?"
"It's put back about as tight as she can. I can show her how to do it better, but I've never seen a novice with such control."
Sal looked back and forth between them, barely keeping up with the new line of talk. "You mean that was a test?"
"To some extent," LT said. "We can't keep you out without more work than I want, so we might as well see how far we can trust you. And if you're wondering, it's impossible to lie mind to mind. That really is my mother. I'm one of the few here who has met a pure iliri female."
"Oh."
"Now that you've seen how it's done, can I see what happened earlier?"
When she nodded, a tickle in her mind brought forth a memory. She didn't try to hide her shame, anger, or how hard she worked to control her beastly instincts. She lived each second of the encounter, hoping the memory would explain her actions better than words could. Every detail of her disagreement with the recruits Odi and Bardus flashed behind her eyes, her fears, disgust and concerns relived in seconds. The memory complete, the Lieutenant nodded his head slowly.
"Dismiss them. They would never work with our unit, not with that much hate for us."
"Zep asked for the pleasure," Arctic said.
Razor chuckled. "That'll make a few things easier."
"Just don't let Cyno help," the Lieutenant told them, still holding her hand. "Ok, men, we're done here."
They stood, tossing back their drinks, but Sal stayed, his grip holding her in place. As the door closed behind the last man, her heart beat faster. She was alone with him. He could order her to do anything and she couldn't refuse. Being part iliri, he had to know that she was beholden to him now, whether she liked it or not.
"Breathe," he said softly.
"Yes, sir."
"My name is Blaec. They call me LT. It's ok for you to do the same." He slowly pulled his hand away. "You're taking all of this rather well."
"Not really, sir," she said honestly. "I just got hit in the head then started hearing voices. It's just that I'd better learn to roll with it or I'll be sitting back at a desk tomorrow."
He smiled as he stood. "Fair 'nough. Ok, soldier. The next trial starts at 1300 tomorrow."
"Yes, sir. I wouldn't miss it for the world. And before you say it, I understand my place and that being able to hear your thoughts does not guarantee that I will be chosen."
The Lieutenant moved a step closer. His hand found her shoulder, one finger brushing the skin at her neck. "There's nothing wrong with being iliri, Sal. Whether you pass the trials or not, our kind tends to stick together." He tried to meet her eyes, but she couldn't. "Do you understand me?"
Sal bit her lip, unsure of how to answer, so just nodded.
"And I won't touch you again, unless I have permission. None of the Blades will. You are not our pet."
"I'm no one's pet, sir. Not anymore."
He stood. "No, not anymore. You're also not alone, but..."
The emotion she smelled was confusing. Protective? Supportive? Timid? Scared? They were all mingled together into one, but she couldn't begin to guess why the leader of the most capable military unit in the country would feel like that around her.
She finished the thought he left hanging. "But you can't give me an advantage in the trials. I understand, sir. You need to choose the best soldier to keep your men safe." She dared to look up at him.
"Yes. Exactly. That doesn't mean we won't help you in other ways. There aren't that many of us left."
"More than you know," she shot back, her ears flicking defensively. "Serving all over the country. We're locked in cages, chained with poverty, leashed by laws... There's thousands of iliri in this country."
He shook his head. "I mean those who've found their place. I have to protect my men at all costs. I have to do what is the best for them. Not for me, not for you, but for them. You can't hide what you are, but we've been doing it for years."
"I understand, sir," she said, turning to the door, her heart sinking. He was trying to tell her that she'd never pass, but she wouldn't give up that easy. She wouldn't just walk away without a fight. "Thank you for giving me the chance to try."
"Next trial starts at 1300 tomorrow, Private. Be there."
She nodded as her hand closed on the knob. Even if she wouldn't get accepted, maybe she could get a referral to another elite unit. It was worth a shot. "I'll be there until I'm dismissed, sir. I won't be scared off."
"Good. Have a good evening, Private."
She pulled open the door to find Shift standing in the street, waiting. At the sound, he looked up with a smile. "Ok, little one, let me show you to your room and keep the big baddies away from you."
"Thanks, Shift. I can take care of myself, you know."
He just laughed and gestured up the street. Together they walked past the row of cabins. "I know you could," he said, finally. "Doesn't mean you should have to. This black uniform of mine gives us both a little protection that your white skin doesn't get."
"Yep." She watched the dirt pass beneath her feet, trying to ignore the resentment that was welling up.
"You know it's ok to feel things, right?" He stepped into her path, forcing her to look up. "Seriously, Luxx, you don't have to play human around me. You reek of your emotions, and you can't bottle everything up like this. You'll go brerror."
"I don't even know what that means, but it's Sal."
"Shit, right." With a sigh he moved back to her side and kept walking. "It means loner, Sal. Lone wolf, anti-social, banished from society."
"Isn't..." her throat was clenching, so she took a deep breath and tried again. "Isn't that what I am now?"
"No. I think you're just lonely. I think you can't trust anyone." He rested a hand on her shoulder, touching nothing but cloth. "I also think you could use a friend."
"Never really had one before," she admitted, her ears sinking lower on her head.
He saw and nodded. "Well, I'm here, if you decide I'll do. I can't give you special treatment in the trials or anything, but I've always got an ear."
"Nice flat ones," she mumbled, aware of how abnormal her own were.
He heard. "They may not work as well as yours, but they're available."
They walked on in silence. At number 12, he paused, then entered first, making his way across the dark room. Her slit eyes dilated fully and Sal could see the lantern on the table in shades of grey while Shift sought it by feel. His fingers bumped into it, then he fumbled in his pocket and brought out a striker. A few flicks later, a spark landed on the oil-soaked wick, bringing a golden glow into the tiny room.
"It's not much, but it's yours for a bit."
"Thanks, Shift. I really do appreciate it."
"Welcome. Your bag's in the wardrobe. Packed between the Blades, no one will give you shit. It's the best we could do to cut down on the harassment."
She nodded, looking around the room. It wasn't much, but the bed looked soft, the furniture would hold her things, and the bathing chamber was private. It was much nicer than the quarters she was usually assigned. When she turned back to Shift, she was smiling.
"It's perfect. Thank you."
"So you know, I'm two doors down in 14. Arctic is next door on the other side in 11 and Zep is across the street in 17. The others are scattered on this row, but if you need us..." He let the words trail off, an open invitation.
Sal thanked him again, then shooed him out of her small but private space. The door barely closed behind him before she peeled out of her uniform. Folding it carefully, she set it beside the table and began to unpack, hanging her clothes to let the wrinkles fall out. Her mind wandered over the Lieutenant's words. Her chances were probably slim, but he hadn't told her to give up. Instead, he seemed pleased that she was willing to fight to earn her place.
Finally reaching the bottom of her bag, she pulled out a worn book on military basics. She cradled it to her chest as she flopped on the bed and opened the cover. Before she began studying, she dared to allow herself to hope. "Please let me pass these trials. Please!" she whispered, then focused her mind on weapons regulations for mounted soldiers.