I WAS FORCED awake in the middle of night, covered in a cold sweat and trembling from the terror that had followed me into my sleep and stole my dreams. It didn’t help when I realized I wasn’t in bed alone. “Why are you in bed with me?”

“You didn’t expect me to cuddle with Z, did you?”

“I don’t care who you cuddle with as long as it’s not me.” I huffed and sat up. I was ready to kick him off the bed when he gripped the front of my shirt and tugged me down onto his chest.

“What are you doing?” I struggled to free myself after he wrapped his arms around me and buried his nose in my hair.

“Making up.”

“I don’t want to make up. I want you—all of you—to leave me alone.”

“Be a good girl, or you’ll wake the baby again.”

Suddenly, it dawned on me that we were molded together in the middle of the bed and my baby was nowhere in sight. I drove the back of my head into his chest, but it didn’t free me. His pain-filled groan was muffled by my wild bed hair. “Where is he?”

“I put him in bed with Z,” he growled after untangling his face from my hair.

“What if he rolls over because he doesn’t know he’s there? He’ll crush him!” I hissed. The blanket slipped from our bodies and off the bed as we struggled. I was forced to stop fighting him when I ran out of breath.

He, on the other hand, had no trouble breathing as he said, “He’s fine. Z’s a sound sleeper.”

“Lucas,” I said slowly to allow patience to sink in. “Get out of my bed and give me my son.”

“I heard him crying and found you thrashing in your sleep,” he replied. He allowed me to turn in his arms after I relaxed. I could only see the silver of his eyes in the dark as he gazed back.

“Did I hurt him?” Worry was etched in every syllable. My fingers dug into his bare shoulders, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“He’s fine,” he repeated. “He hung out with his favorite uncle for a little while until he went back to sleep.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t hear him cry.” My biggest fear had finally been realized.

I wasn’t the mother Caylen deserved.

“You were doing quite a bit of crying yourself, girl. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” He pressed me tighter against him, and then I felt his lips brush my forehead. Hours ago, we were at each other’s throats, and now I clung to him while he kept me safe from the demons that chased me from my sleep.

After a while, Lucas rolled to his back, and my head fell comfortably on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat in the dark, afraid to go to sleep and face once again what could very soon become my reality.

“It was just a dream.” I was startled by his whisper, thinking he had fallen asleep.

“It felt real to me,” I whispered back. Suddenly, he rolled us over until he was leaning over me.

“There is more than one life he’ll have to take before he can get to you, girl.”

I wasn’t a girl who swooned. Especially over words whispered by a man whose feelings were tangled with my best friend’s, but he made it impossible not to.

“I’m not asking you to die for me.”

His smile was leisurely, and he no longer appeared to be the brooding man I came to be wary of. “You don’t have to.”

“You wouldn’t be doing it for me. You’d be doing it for Angel, and I’d still have to live with it.”

 “Well, then, I guess I better not die.” He fell on his back again. “But I’ll still do whatever is needed to protect you.” He then ordered me to sleep.

 

 

* * *

I HAD AWAKENED once more in the early hours of the morning by a different nightmare.

I was asleep in my bed, safe in the home I shared with my parents when I was awakened by Angel holding in the rotting flesh of his hand the bloody knife I used to kill him.

Z had been the one to wake me with tender kisses on my lips as he pulled me gently from my nightmare.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked.

“No.”

We hadn’t shared pillow talk like I had with Lucas, but he’d held me until Caylen had woken up with a hungry cry. Lucas was nowhere to be found as I fed and changed Caylen, and I found out why when he came through the door carrying breakfast and coffee. 

Lucas handed me the largest cup after he set the food down. “Figured you might need a kick after last night.”

My attention slid to Z sprawled in the room’s only chair. He had been busy taking large bites of the burrito Lucas had handed him. When he noticed my worried looked, he mumbled around a mouth full of food, “Heard the entire thing, princess.”

I groaned and wondered if these two had any sense of decorum.

“You shouldn’t hide from us. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t care.”

My eyebrow quirked as I regarded them. “You mean your loyalty to Angel isn’t the reason you hunted and kidnapped me?”

“We’ve never had a little sister,” Lucas answered with a shrug and a mouth full. They had the worst table manners.

“Well, then, word of advice, big brothers don’t touch their little sisters the way you two have touched me.”

I happily watched them choke on their food as I sipped my hot coffee slowly. I rolled my eyes at their wide grins once their throats cleared. Perverts.

An hour later, we were checked out and on the road. I wasn’t hysterical this time, but I did grow nervous when Z steered Joey’s bullet-riddled car north.

“Where are we headed?” I tried to keep the tremble from my voice and failed.

“Indianapolis.”

“But the city’s mainstream. He’ll find me.” I was feeling the beginnings of a panic attack.

“Not if you know how to blend in.”

I felt frustration bubbling to the surface. Instead of placing more distance between Chicago and me, they were dragging me closer to the senator’s reach. I needed a way out of their clutches before they got me killed. “Angel’s got bigger problems than me, don’t you think? Victor is dead, but the book is still missing. Why is he so concerned with the senator when his precious legacy is still out there?”

“Angel decides what his priorities are, princess.”

“Then why isn’t he here?”

“He’s keeping an eye on the senator while we keep you hidden.”

“Why doesn’t he just kill him?”

“The senator’s murder would raise too many questions. The Knights have thrived as long as they have because they don’t believe in sloppy work.”

“How can I protect my son if the senator lives? You said it yourself—I can’t run forever.”

“He’s going to die, princess. But it won’t be murder.”

My head spun. I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t know what any of this meant. How could Angel kill the senator without killing him?

I stroked my sleeping baby’s cheek as tears fell. “I’m sorry I got you into this,” I whispered to him.

I could feel eyes on me and looked up to find Z watching me. “You’re a great mother, princess. If my mother had half the instinct you do, I wouldn’t be screwed up.”

I hesitated to enter dangerous territory but found myself more curious than afraid. “Tell me about her, Zachariah.”

His jaw flexed. “She was a crack whore. There’s nothing to tell.” I was surprised at the venom in Z’s tone.

“Was she always on drugs?”

“No.”

“What about your father? Couldn’t he have helped her?”

His laugh was dry. “He’s the one who gave her the drugs, princess.”

“He was a dealer?”

He shook his head, and when he turned his head to face me, his green eyes were nearly blackened with pain. “He was her pimp. He used drugs to control her. When she was strung out, he got bored and ditched her.”

And you.

I couldn’t help but feel pity for the man with an easy smile and anger for his mother who couldn’t fight hard enough to keep him protected.

“No one’s called me Zachariah since her.”

My stomach ached at the thought of causing him pain. “I’m sorry. Does it hurt?”

“No.” He turned to stare out the windshield. I wanted to ask if she was dead, but his wall was already up again, so I turned to Lucas.

“What about you, Lucas?”

“What about me?”

“Where are your parents?”

He snorted. “My dad already had a family, so he had no use for me, and my mom didn’t either when she realized I wasn’t enough to break up a happy home.”

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“Nine years ago.”

I frowned, not expecting the answer to have been so long ago. He was only eighteen the last time he’d seen his father.

“What happened?”

“He hired Art to kill my mother.”

I couldn’t catch my gasp of surprise before it slipped. “Why would he—”

“He paid her to make us go away. After she had collected, she ran and left me behind. I was found on the streets, placed in foster care, and eventually, a group home after I caused too many problems. When the money was gone, she wanted more, but my father refused, so she threatened to expose their affair to the rich heiress he married unless he paid to keep her quiet.”

“So Art killed your father?” How much hate could Lucas hold for his father to work for the man who killed him?

My question was forgotten when Lucas’s ringing phone interrupted. “Yeah,” he answered gruffly as he steered with one hand. “Fuck!” he suddenly exploded. I had trouble following the questions Lucas shot at the caller rapidly. He handed the phone to Z and pressed on the gas. Z listened for a few seconds before cursing and pulling out his own phone and tapping quickly.

“Not a glitch. The tracking’s stopped. He must have found it.”

I felt my heart race as I tried to piece together what was happening. Z hung up and promptly smashed his fist into the dashboard. He then turned his green glower on Lucas and said three words that made my heart drop into my turning stomach.

“We’re going back.”

I wanted to scream at them not to take us back. Instead, my eyes shut tight as Lucas accelerated and drove us back to Attica.