CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - CAROLINE

As the sun came through my bedroom curtains, I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to get another few minutes of sleep. It wasn’t long before I gave up and sighed deeply, stretching my arms over my head and adjusting to the morning. My night had been filled with dreams that all revolved around Dean. I barely slept, constantly waking up in a fit of pained confusion. Seeing Dean again was exactly like I always thought it would be: painful.

Sitting at that bar, listening to Dean talk about his brother’s illness was heartbreaking. I longed to help him, to make him feel better, but I knew I couldn’t. Dean was no longer my boyfriend or even my friend. He was now nothing more than a memory, someone from my past who inconveniently showed up to throw a wrench in my life.

I groaned and rolled over to shove my face in my pillow. Just thinking about Dean was driving me insane. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to be angry with him for breaking my heart all those years ago. I tried so hard to hold on to my indignation, but I couldn’t. When I saw Dean at that bar, I felt myself melt just like I did when I was eighteen years old. His deep blue eye — so dark they were almost gray, were captivating, and it took only a second for me to lose myself in them all over again.

As I laid in bed that morning, I pictured the way he looked yesterday. His dark hair was cut shorter now, more professional. The years had matured him, both physically and emotionally. I could tell from the serious look in his eyes that he wasn’t the same angry kid he used to be. He was different. Older. Harder. It hurt me to see the changes in him but my body couldn’t help but react to his undeniable allure.

Even seven years later, my stomach flipped as I took in the sight of his still muscular body. The black t-shirt he wore was tight and hugged his biceps seductively. I could still see him walking toward me, his strong legs leading him forward. When he got closer, I felt my heart race in my chest and desire pool between my legs. It was the first time I’d seen him in seven years and already, I wanted him just as much as I did that summer.

It took everything in me not to jump off that barstool and claim his lips. Just the memory of his kiss was enough to make my cheeks flush. As I laid in bed, I felt myself grow hot with repressed sexual desire. I pushed him away yesterday, refusing to get close to him again. Now, alone in my bed, I couldn’t remember why.

My hand floated automatically beneath my sheet as I rolled on to my back. I could still see Dean’s smoldering eyes locked on my face, his lips blowing a sweet scent into my face. My body was on fire as I thought about the way he looked naked. His rippling abs leading a sexy path down to his thick cock. That morning, I no longer cared about my broken heart. My body wanted Dean and it needed a release.

I closed my eyes and pictured his naked body, sliding my hand inside my panties. With a moan, I found that I was already wet with desire. I wet my fingers and rubbed my clit slowly, imagining Dean between my legs. It was no longer my own fingers, but his that pleasured me.

I moaned and writhed beneath my hand, remembering the way it felt to be with Dean. As I moved my fingers faster, I flashed back to that time on the Ferris wheel when Dean fingered me while we rode around and around, giving me the most erotic memory of my life.

“Dean,” I breathed softly.

I slipped a finger inside myself, still rubbing my clit and thrusting my hips upward into my hand. Suddenly, Dean was right there. His cock was inside me and his lips were brushing against my ear. He took me hard and fast, pouring every emotion he felt into my body.

“Oh God,” I moaned deeply, moving my hand faster.

My hips lifted of their own accord as I fucked my own hand. In my mind, it was Dean, claiming me as his own. He pounded his glorious cock inside and grunted with his own pleasure. I was so close, and I could see him poised just above me.

I imagined running my hands down his abs while he devoured me with his eyes. He stared hungrily at my bouncing tits and thrust himself into me with a power that took my breath away. Before I knew it, I was coming all over my hand and crying out with pleasure.

“Yes!” I screamed. “Oh God, yes! Dean.”

I rubbed myself slowly, letting the orgasm linger as long as possible. While my legs continued to shake, I pulled my hand away and sighed, my body still flushed and my heart racing. It took a few minutes for my breathing to return to normal and when it did, I climbed out of bed and jumped in the shower.

While I washed myself, I realized I’d been unfair to Dean. My own pain and anger had gotten in the way of my compassion. His brother was dying. Daniel was sick, and Dean was powerless to help him. It wasn’t right for me to turn my back on him. As the water washed over me, I decided to go see him. No matter what happened between us in the past, I still cared about Dean, and I wanted to be there for him, even if it was just as a friend. As much as I wanted to help him, I still didn’t think I could ever trust him with my heart again.

I jumped out of the shower and dressed quickly. As I threw my damp hair in a bun, I slid my shoes on and hurried toward my front door. I opened the door and came face to face with my parents, my mother’s fist was raised, poised to knock.

“Mom,” I said with a frown, “Dad, what are you guys doing here?”

“Why do we need an excuse to see our daughter?” My mom answered my question with one of her own.

I groaned inwardly and moved aside to let them in. I really wanted to get to Dean, but I suppose I’ll have to entertain my parents for a bit first.

“You look thin, are you eating enough?” my mother asked, her gaze taking me in with judgment.

“Yes, Mom, I’m eating enough.”

“Hmm,” she said, not sounding convinced as she wandered to my fridge and looked inside.

I hadn’t grocery shopped in a few days and the pickings were meager. I knew what she was going to say before she said it.

“If you need money for groceries—”

“No, Mom. Thank you, but I’m doing okay. I just haven’t been to the store for a couple of days.”

She nodded like she didn’t fully believe me, and perched herself on the edge of a kitchen chair. My father, who had yet to say a word, stood behind her. I suddenly got the feeling that this wasn’t just a visit to check up on my well-being.

“So, what really brings you guys here today?” I asked, deciding it’s best to just get it out in the open.

My mom pinned me with her gaze and took a deep breath before she began to speak. “We’ve heard that Dean Evans is back in town.”

I should have known.

My insides grew cold when my mother mentioned his name.

“He is, yes. And?” I asked.

Now it’s my father’s turn to speak. “We certainly hope that you are staying away from him.”

I looked at my father, unable to hide the frustration in my eyes. “And if I’m not?”

My mother looked at me like I’d sprouted a second head. “After all the damage he’s caused, how can you even ask that, Caroline?”

I took a deep breath and looked from one parent to the other. “He’s paid for that,” I said.

“Ask Eric what he thinks about that,” my mother said bitterly.

Choosing to ignore her remark, I folded my hands on the table in front of me. “His brother is very sick, that’s why he’s back in town. I was with Stephanie yesterday and we ran into him. That’s all there is to it. Besides, I am twenty-five years old now and not under your roof. You don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t be seen with anymore.”

“You need to listen to your mother,” my father said softly, his voice low and dangerous. “You have embarrassed us enough, young lady. First, running around with that… boy. Then, dropping out of Yale for art school. Now, this again. You will not see him. You will not associate with him. This family has suffered enough humiliation at your hand.”

“Humiliation?” I stared wide-eyed at my father. This was insane. After all these years, they were still so hateful and intolerant just because Dean came from a poor background. They hated him for no other reason than his lack of wealth and it was disgusting. In that moment, I’d never despised them more.

“You’ve done nothing but disappoint us,” my mom said coldly. “And we’ve had enough.”

I looked from my mom to my dad and then back again, trying desperately to understand why they were behaving this way. It was one thing to insist I marry a rich man but it was something else entirely to accuse me of being a disappointment. I’d done nothing but follow my own heart and they were punishing me for it.

“I think maybe it’s time for you both to leave,” I said softly.

“Excuse me?” my mom hissed.

“Fine,” I sighed. “You don’t have to leave. I will.”

With that, I stormed out of my apartment, slamming the door behind me. I didn’t stop until I made it to my car and climbed behind the wheel. I drove through town until I reached the house I knew still belonged to Dean’s mother.

Jumping out of my car, I ran to the front door and knocked quickly. I didn’t know what I would say to him but I knew I had to try. His brother was fatally ill. If there was anything I could do for him, I would do it.

After a few minutes, I knocked again but no one answered. I tried again and still, nothing. Finally, I gave up and ran back to my car, pulling out my phone as I moved.

“Stephanie?” I asked when she picked up. “Hey, do you have Dean’s number?”