CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN - DEAN

Morning rolled around before I was ready for it. I spent the night at the hospital with Caroline, lying in bed beside her and holding her through the night. Her tests had been rushed and all came back clear so the surgery was a go. We were both scared but my fear was greater than hers. She maintained a steely conviction, sure she was doing the right thing and that everything would be okay. I didn’t have her confidence. When the nurses woke us up to get Caroline prepped for surgery, I had to fight the urge to throw myself on top of her.

“Come here,” she said, waving me forward. I took her hand and kissed it. “I’m going to be fine. Just relax. They have to prep me now, so go see Daniel, okay? Make sure he isn’t too nervous.”

“Okay,” I said. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I left her room, feeling as if I was leaving my heart behind. When I arrived down the hall, Daniel was still asleep. I knew they would start prepping him soon, so I didn’t feel bad about waking him up. His eyes blinked, narrowing slightly at the sunlight streaming through the curtains.

“Morning kid,” I said. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m dying,” he said, a grin on his face.

“Not anymore, jackass,” I said.

“Yeah, thanks to your girl.” Daniel grinned wider. “She’s really something.”

“She is,” I said. “She’s amazing.”

“Make sure you tell her thank you for me,” Daniel said. “Again.”

“Are you nervous?” I asked, lowering myself into a chair beside him.

“No.” He shook his head. “I thought I would be but I’m not. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? I die? I’m already dying.”

“True.” I laughed. “You’re gonna make it. Everything is going to be okay.”

“You sound pretty sure about that,” Daniel said.

“Caroline is,” I said, shrugging. “I’m trying to channel her optimism.”

“Good luck with that.” Daniel laughed again and the nurses came into the room.

I stood aside to let them get him prepped and soon, it was time to take them both into the operating room. My heart was pounding as I walked out into the hallway. Caroline’s parents and Stephanie were already there. I joined them while Caroline and Daniel were wheeled into the hallway.

We said our goodbyes and I held back tears. As I kissed Caroline, I felt a rush of paralyzing fear that I couldn’t control. She reassured me again, and then she was gone. They both were. Just like that, the two people I loved the most in the world were being wheeled away from me, and I didn’t know if I would see either of them again. I stood frozen in the hallway until Stephanie put her hand on my shoulder and shook me back to reality.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s go sit down.”

I nodded and let her lead me down the hall toward the waiting room. My legs felt weak as I walked, so I knew she was right. I needed to sit. It was going to be a long day. As we sat down, my eyes fell on Caroline’s parents. They were both staring off into the distance, neither saying a word, not even to one another. I’d never met her mother before but I could see Caroline in her features. If it weren’t for the permanently pinched expression on Mrs. Michaelson’s face, she would have been the spitting image of her daughter.

Mr. Michaelson looked nervous but he was holding it together well. When our eyes met, he nodded once and then looked away. I wanted to say something to him, to both of them, but no words came to mind. Their daughter was risking her life for my brother. It was an amazing gift that I would never be able to repay. If something went wrong and Caroline died, they would never forgive me.

While we sat, my mother finally showed. She walked slowly into the waiting room, her eyes red and puffy. She didn’t look drunk and for that, I was grateful. She came over to sit beside me, patting my hand gently as she did.

“They’re already back there,” I said softly. “About an hour ago.”

She nodded, unable to speak. Part of me was still angry with her for being so absent but I knew this was hard for her. She truly was doing her best. I gripped her hand in mine and squeezed it. Her eyes found my face and she smiled weakly, tears dripping down her cheeks.

We sat there, holding hands and silently comforting each other, until Mrs. Michaelson made a noise at the back of her throat. It was somewhere between a scoff and a hiss and it claimed everyone’s attention. All eyes were on her but she was glaring at my mother with open contempt.

“Teresa,” Mrs. Michaelson said. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“My son is in surgery,” Mom said simply.

“I’m aware,” Mrs. Michaelson spat. “As is my daughter. I’m simply surprised you were able to drag yourself away from the bar long enough to show up.”

My mom winced and opened her mouth to retaliate but she didn’t have to. Mr. Michaelson leaned over and whispered something in his wife’s ear. She glared at him with anger and hissed back. I couldn’t hear her words but there was venom in her eyes.

“I’m sorry for everything I put you through,” my mother said, her voice loud and carrying. “I know I never said that but I am. But Penelope, now is not the time for this,” she said, for once, being the voice of reason.

Mrs. Michaelson’s face fell. All the anger faded from her eyes and in its place, was a deep-seated pain. In that moment, I suddenly understood the complicated history between my mother and Caroline’s parents. Her parents didn’t try to keep us apart because they thought me to be beneath them, they just didn’t want to relive a painful time in their lives. I couldn’t blame them for that.

“I’m going to get coffee,” Mrs. Michaelson said weakly.

“There’s a stand just around the corner,” Stephanie said.

“No,” Mrs. Michaelson said, shaking her head. “I don’t drink hospital coffee. I’ll be back.”

With that, she left the hospital and didn’t return. I understood her pain. Being around my mother, even all these years later, couldn’t have been easy. I wondered how Mom and Mr. Michaelson were able to do it, and then I saw them lock eyes.

My mother’s eyes found his and she softened. He stood up and motioned for her to join him. They walked a few feet away, stopping at the end of the hallway and whispering. I couldn’t hear their conversation and I wasn’t sure I wanted to but from what I could see, they cared deeply for each other.

With a frown, I watched them closely, trying to discern what they were saying. Stephanie sat beside him, watching them just as closely. We were both riveted, unable to look away. They talked for a long time, both whispering and occasionally wiping away a tear. I was curious to know what happened between them all those years ago, but I knew I would never ask.

My mother had been through a lot in her life. She’d raised two boys and suffered through a debilitating addiction that she had yet to overcome. In so many ways, I hated her. But, as I watched her interact with Caroline’s dad, my hatred faded to something different. Something softer. Understanding and acceptance.

I would never know the full story of their romance, but in that moment, I realized their affair wasn’t just about sex. It was obvious in the way they looked at each other that their feelings were real. They loved each other once and I wondered if part of them still did.

I watched them until they finally stopped talking and returned to the waiting room. This time, they didn’t sit apart. My mother fell into the seat beside me and Mr. Michaelson sat right beside her. I was confused but I knew now wasn’t the time to ask questions.

My mind quickly turned back to thoughts of Caroline and Daniel as we waited for news. It was an hour before anyone came out to talk to us and when they did, they simply said things were progressing smoothly. My nerves were still on edge and my heart never stopped pounding.

Stephanie tried to get everyone to eat but we were all too scared to think about food. Caroline’s dad never left but her mother never returned. I wondered about her a few times, trying to figure out where she would’ve gone and why. Was her hatred for my mother really strong enough to prevent her from being there for her daughter?

Finally, hours later, Caroline got out of surgery. The doctor told us everything had gone according to plan for her and she was stable and in recovery. We wouldn’t be able to see her for a while yet. Mr. Michaelson breathed a sigh of relief but I couldn’t yet. My heart was only half relieved. Daniel’s surgery was still underway and I wouldn’t relax until he was safe.

My mother gripped my hand as we continued to wait. I turned to face her, wanting to say something that might comfort us both but nothing worked. There weren’t words to describe the fear we felt and when the doctor finally came back out, we both jumped to our feet.

His eyes floated from my face to Mom’s and then back again. We held our breath and waited for the news.