CHAPTER NINETEEN - DEAN

My head was spinning as I drove through town. I left the hotel early in the morning, unable to sleep or relax. My desperation to help Daniel was becoming more intense than I could take. There wasn’t anything I could do for him and I hated it. As I drove, I pounded my fist into the steering wheel, angry and in pain. My entire life was spent taking care of my fucking brother. No matter what stupid shit he did, I was always there. But this? This wasn’t something I could save him from. He was going to die and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it.

I drove for hours that morning, just trying to outrun my own emotions. It was almost noon when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I assumed it was my mother, so I took my time pulling it out. When I glanced down at the screen, I saw a strange number I didn’t recognize. Frowning, I tapped the green button and pressed the phone to my ear.

“Dean Evans,” I said, thinking the phone call might have been about work.

“Dean?” Caroline’s familiar voice floated through the phone. My heart skipped a beat. “Hi, it’s Caroline.”

“Caroline,” I said. “How are you?”

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I shouldn’t have dismissed you like that yesterday. Our past is just that, the past.”

“I understand why you did it,” I said softly. “I wasn’t exactly the picture of a gentleman back then.”

“That doesn’t matter now,” she said. “All that matters, is Daniel. I’m calling to see if there’s anything I can do for you or your mom. I can’t even imagine how hard all of this must be. I just… if there’s something I can do to help, then I want to.”

For the first time all morning, I felt a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Just hearing Caroline’s voice was enough to calm my nerves and put me at ease. I sighed and pressed the phone harder against my ear, wanting to be as close to her as possible.

“Do you think we could just talk?” I asked hopefully. “Tonight? At that same bar?”

“Sure,” Caroline said immediately. “What time should I meet you?”

“Five?”

“Sounds good,” Caroline said.

“Caroline?” I said.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

I could hear the smile in her voice as she said, “You’re welcome.”

We said goodbye and I drove back to my hotel room. I still had hours before it would be time to meet Caroline but I didn’t care, I wanted to get ready and have some down time first.

When she left the bar yesterday, I really thought that was the last time I would ever see her. I didn’t blame her for being angry with me. When I sent her away seven years ago, I did it to protect her. I truly believed it was the best thing for us both but now, I knew it had been a mistake. There wasn’t anything I could do to change the past but I hoped that, maybe, Caroline would let me make up for it.

As I showered and got ready for the night, my heart filled with a renewed hope. There still wasn’t anything I could do to save my brother, but knowing Caroline wanted to help was enough to lighten my pain. I didn’t know what she would be able to do but just hearing her voice had lifted my spirits. I knew seeing her, talking to her, and feeling her presence would be even more powerful.

I left early, eager to see her. It was barely four o’clock when I climbed into my rental car but I didn’t care. I couldn’t wait. My entire body was itching with the desire to see her face again. I knew the second I locked eyes with her, I would feel better.

I flew through town, arriving half an hour early. When I parked, I hurried inside and went straight toward the bar. My heart was already pounding even though I knew Caroline wouldn’t yet be here. As I stepped up to the bar, my heart stopped.

My mom was sitting on the last stool, her head flat on the bar and her eyes half-closed.

***

What the fuck is she doing here? I thought to myself as I walked over to her. She wasn’t passed out, but she was definitely drunk. When I stepped up behind her, I tapped her roughly on the shoulder and she jerked up, her eyes searching for mine.

“Dean,” she said, her voice rough. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m meeting Caroline,” I said. “I think you should get home.”

“I’m fine,” she said, rubbing her eyes and sitting up straight. “I’ve barely had any.”

“Whatever.”

I didn’t want to deal with her drama, so I ordered myself a beer and went to find a table. Ignoring my mother, I focused my attention on the door as I waited for Caroline to arrive. When she did, my heart stopped all over again. She looked gorgeous in a long blue dress that flowed around her ankles as she walked. I swallowed hard and stood up when she approached.

“What can I get you?” I asked, trying to keep the nerves out of my voice.

“Oh, you don’t have to—”

“It’s the least I can do,” I said.

“White wine.” She smiled.

I nodded and went over to get her drink. When I came back to the table, she was sitting down with a nervous expression on her face. It was nice to know I wasn’t the only feeling that way.

As we slowly began to talk, my nerves faded away. It was easy to be with Caroline. It didn’t matter that years had passed, or that I’d been a colossal dipshit and broken her heart. Our conversation flowed naturally and I found myself wanting to reach over and take her hand.

“Can I join you?” my mom asked, suddenly appearing at our table. Her voice was slightly slurred but she didn’t look totally wasted yet.

“No,” I said firmly but Caroline interrupted.

“Sure,” she said. She motioned toward the empty chair beside her and my mom smiled gratefully.

When she sat down, Caroline leaned forward and placed her hand on top of my mom’s. She looked at her with so much kindness that my mother looked taken aback.

“I know I haven’t seen you guys in a long time,” Caroline said softly. “But Teresa, is there anything I can do for you? I know this whole thing with Daniel must feel impossible. I don’t know if I can help but I’d really like to.”

“You can,” Mom said without hesitation.

Caroline blinked. “How?” she asked.

“Talk to your father.”

Caroline glanced at me with a frown but I didn’t understand my mom’s words any more than she did. I shrugged and Caroline turned back to my mom.

“My father?” she asked. “Why would I talk to my dad about Daniel? Do you need money for his treatment?”

Mom’s eyes swam with intoxication as she looked at Caroline. I worried she was too drunk to speak coherently but when she opened her mouth again, her voice was clear.

“Because he very well may be Daniel’s father,” she said.

My chest tightened and my stomach filled with lead. What was she talking about? How the hell could Caroline’s dad be Daniel’s dad?

“What the hell are you talking about?” I snapped.

Caroline just sat there with a shocked expression on her face.

“When you were younger,” Mom said, turning her face to me. “I worked with Mr. Michaelson. Or, I worked for him. And we had an affair.”

I felt Caroline shift uncomfortably in her chair. When I glanced at her, her eyes were fixated on my mother’s face. She was drinking in her every word.

“I remember you,” Mom said to Caroline. “You were just a little girl at the time. A baby, really. I never met your mother. I’m not proud of what I did. I knew he was married, I knew he had a family, but… Things happen.”

“What exactly happened?” I asked.

“We had an affair,” she said again. “And then I got pregnant with Daniel.”

“So,” Caroline said weakly. “Daniel is my brother?”

My mom nodded and looked away, her eyes swimming from the alcohol and the strain of telling this story. Never once in my life had I suspected that my father was not Daniel’s father as well. I remember my childhood, before my dad died. My parents were happy. Her alcoholism was making much more sense now. It wasn’t only the grief of losing my father that made her drink, it was coupled with the guilt of what she’d done.

“Did Dad know?” I asked her.

My mom looked at me with overwhelming sadness in her eyes. “No,” she said firmly.

“Look,” she said, turning back to Caroline. “You asked if you could help and that’s what you can do. Talk to your father. Have him get tested. See if he can save my son.”

“Okay,” Caroline said, nodding slowly. “I can do that. I’ll make sure he takes the test.”

Mom stood up without another word and stumbled out of the bar. I watched her go, my mind racing. When I turned back to Caroline, she was shaking her head slowly, her eyes wide.

“Do you think it’s possible?” she asked. “Do you think Daniel could be my brother too?”

“Who knows with my mother?” I answered, my voice weak.