Chapter Twenty-One - Maddie

 

I get it. I understand why every girl goes crazy about Braden Carter, because that guy can do crazy stuff with just his fingers.

But I still hate him. And I hate even more than I can't just say it.

“Umm.” I hide my face.

“You've done it already?!” Lila shrieks, jumping up.

“Oh my god, no!” I wave my hands. “No, no, no!”

“But you've done something, haven't you?” Kay asks, her eyes wide with humor. “I can tell.”

“Y-yes.” I mumble.

Megan licks her lips, smiles, and uncaps her pen. “So, do tell.”

“I'm not telling you that!” My cheeks burn.

“Oh!” Kay laughs. “Priceless! She's embarrassed over a game! Oh my god. It gets better, guys.”

“Go away,” I mutter. “I just.... I'm not giving sordid details.”

“Come on,” Megan grins. “Just say it. We've all done it all.”

“You guys,” Lila scolds and turns to me. “Maddie, did you have sex with Braden?”

“No.”

“Did you, you know, blow his whistle?”

I snort. “Blow his whistle?”

“Did you suck his lollipop?” Kay lies on her stomach, shaking with silent laughter.

“Ew! No!” I laugh.

“Okay, then.” Lila shrugs. “Well, did he bite your burger?”

I fall backwards on my bed, my stomach tensing as I laugh harder than I've laughed in ages. I'm pretty sure tears are stinging my eyes.

“Bite.... My.... Burger?” I take a deep breath. “What, on earth, is that?”

Kay tries and fails to get the words out, waving her hand dismissively before burying her face in her pillow.

“It's, licking, um, y'know.” Megan shakes her head and laughs. “I can't. I can't do it.”

“Oh! Oh, oh no. No burger biting.”

Megan nods and gives me a thumbs up.

“Okay, so was there bean flicking?” Lila continues, her shoulders bouncing.

“I'm not even....” I shake my head. “Going to ask.”

“It's just, uh. How do I put this?” Lila leans her head back.

Kay looks up. “Did he play with the bait while he went fishing?”

Megan collapses on the floor laughing hysterically, her whole body shaking. “I... Oh.”

I look at Lila, and she shakes her head, dropping it so she can't see me.

“Um, yes?” I guess, trying to keep my giggles in.

“Woohoo!” Kay shouts and my cheeks flame.

“I can't believe I just told you that. I actually can't believe it,” I mumble.

“Oh, what do I write for that?” Megan wipes under her eyes.

“Write? Wait, what?!” I sit up. “You can't write that on the plan!”

“I have to,” she replies. “It's so we can keep track.”

“So wrong, Megs.” Lila shakes her head.

“Put fishing.” Kay snorts. “No one is gonna know what that means.”

“Oh my god.” I cover my face with my hands. I hear Megan uncap the pen lid and the scratchy sound of the pen moving against the paper. “Oh, my god.”

“There.” She sits back. “Fishing, in week two. Definitely ahead of schedule, my little player.”

“That's a good thing, right?”

Lila nods enthusiastically. “Oh, yeah. This was just a rough idea. If you can get it done before the month is up, even better.”

“Sounds like it'll be done before the week is up,” Kay says slyly.

“What, two days?” I shake my head. “He's not in love with me yet. Wasn't that the point?”

“True,” she acquiesces.

“He's getting there, though,” Megan offers. “I can see in it his eyes.”

“You think he's falling in love with me after like, twelve days?” I snort. “Yeah, okay, Megs. This isn't some trashy romance novel where you get that crappy insta-love. There's no supernatural pull from the fates demanding we be together as soul mates for all of eternity while fighting off the bad guys. Love takes time. It takes work. It's not just something you throw yourself into because if you do it right, you'll only ever have to fall in love once. I only intend to fall in love once, and when I do, I won't be falling in two weeks time, and Braden probably won't either. People like Braden don't fall in love like that. But the point is, you can't control love. You can't make it happen.” I get up and look out the window.

“But isn't that what you're doing now?” Lila asks softly, her gentle brown eyes focusing on me. “Trying to control love, to make it happen?”

“No. I'm just trying to beat it to the finishing line. It's just a game. Love is like Clue - you might take a few wrong turns, but you'll get there in the end. For Braden, I'll be a wrong turn, and he'll barely be a blip on my radar.”

“So because we're not in a book, it means you can't be in love instantly?” Megan raises her eyebrows.

“Yes. This isn't a dream world, its reality, and reality is a bag of balls.”

She snorts. “But what if you were in love before you knew it? It's been scientifically shown that we're automatically attracted to people who 'match' with our pheromones.”

“Gross,” Kay mutters.

“So why can't you just fall in love as easily as that?” Megan continues, unaffected. “What if love is instant, but our human brains aren't yet advanced enough to know? What if each of us have a soul mate? What then?”

“Then the world would be a better place,” I reply quietly. “Because No one would get hurt. That's an ideal, Megs. The real world isn't ideal. There are rules you have to play by - unwritten rules, granted - but they're still there. Break them and you're back a level. Follow them and life is perfect. With this plan, I'm just skipping a few rules. I'm going to beat the game.”

“I'd like to believe we have someone out there for us that's perfect for us,” Lila says quietly. “I'd like to think the natural way of life governs even that.”

“I wouldn't,” Kay grumbles. “Fuck having someone in control of my life and love.”

“That's because you don't believe in love, Kay.” Megan looks at her pointedly.

Kay returns her look. “Neither do you.”

Megan gives her a small smile, a soft smile that somehow manages to brighten her whole face. “Oh, I believe in love, Kay. I believe that each of us have someone out there that will love us no matter what. I like to believe that. Otherwise, what would be the point? Love is beautiful, it's free from judgment and it never condemns. It enlightens, it embraces, and it makes even the hardest day worth living through. Who wouldn't want to believe in that?”

“You've been reading too many romance novels, Megs.”

“So what? We all have to get our hope from somewhere, and if getting lost between the pages of a deep book gives me hope, then I'll keep on getting lost, all the while hoping that one day I'll have a real love I can get lost in. Because it will happen, to each of us. One day we'll get so lost in love that we won't be able to find our way back out.”

My eyes flick up, and I can see the top of the frat house across the street. Third floor, second window from the right. Braden.

“How do you know, though?” I look back to Megan.

She gives me the same small smile she gave Kay. “Oh, I don't know. But I hope, and at the end of the day, without love, hope is all we really have, isn't it?”