Chapter Thirty-One – Maddie

 

“I remember finding her. Her parents were out of town on business, and her Mom hadn't heard from her so she asked me to check on her. I went.” My hands shake, and my voice is flat, my body numb to the emotions as the night I discovered her plays in my mind.

 

“Abbi? Abbi, are you in there?” I had knocked on the door frantically. “I'll break in if I have to! C'mon, Abs, your mom is worried about you.”

Nothing. She didn't reply. I banged harder. “You have five seconds to reply or I'm coming in!”

I counted in my head using the Mississippi numbers. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi... We might not have talked in a month, but she was still my best friend.

“Okay, I'm coming in!” I warned one last time and stepped back, kicking the lock on the door a few times. The wood splintered, and I held it open. I stopped dead at the sight before me.

Abbi was lying in the bath fully clothed, the tub half full with her arm hanging over the side. Blood dripped from numerous lines and scratches all up her arm, and a small brown bottle caught my eye. My shaky hand reached out to grab the bottle. Paracetamol. The easiest way. Mom had taught us that – sixteen tablets would be enough if you went long enough without being discovered. Who knows how long Abbi had been locked in her bathroom?

“Oh, Abbi,” I sobbed out and dropped the bottle. It landed on the floor with a deafening clatter in the silence. I backed into the door frame, trying to stop my legs from buckling. I took my phone from my pocket, and my trembling thumb typed out nine one one.

Did she have a pulse? I didn't know. Was she breathing? I didn't know. I was scared to touch her. I was scared to move her. Please don't be dead, I thought. Please don't die on me too. First I'd lost Mom, I couldn't lose Abbi too. I couldn't lose both. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseno.

I hung up after giving the information and stayed staring at her still body. Her chest rose slightly, and a sliver of relief ran through me. She was alive. Maybe.

But why? Why? Why would she do it?

 

“I knew why, of course,” I whisper. “Pearce had driven her to it. He'd broken her so much that every piece of her was shattered. He'd destroyed her. The only thing she had left to do was exist.”

“Oh, Angel.” Braden holds me tight.

“She's alive. She's in an 'institution' for mentally ill teens outside of Brooklyn. She's alive, but she's not really living. Sometimes I wonder if she'd be better off not here, then I feel terrible.” Tears are warm as they coast down my cheeks. “I still don't know everything Pearce did to her, and I'll never find out. I don't want to know. The idea of it scares me.”

“You feel guilty, don't you?”

“Yes. If I'd just stayed with her, maybe I could have protected her more. I don't know, Bray. Maybe if I'd stayed by her side and not let her be alone, she'd still be, well, normal, I guess.”

“It's not your fault. You didn't do it.”

“I know that. I do, but I hate that I had to find her. It's a good thing I did, though. The paramedics said if I'd left it another few hours before going round, she would have died. She'd taken that many tablets and cut herself all over. She didn't stop at her arms. Her thighs and stomach were covered beneath her clothes. She was wearing black so I didn't see them, but the water in the bath kept the cuts open. She knew exactly what she was doing. It wasn't a cry for attention, it was a real attempt.”

I swipe at my cheeks, and Braden kisses the corners of my eyes. “That's why you hate your brother?”

I nod. “Because he made me lose everything. I'd already lost Mom, and I lost Abbi. Maybe not in the same way, but she's still not the person I knew. She never will be again.”

“I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I really am.” He kisses my forehead. “You know your brother will never come near you again, right? If he does, I'll kick his fuckin' ass, Maddie. I promise you that.”

I nod and press myself to him. “I know.”

“He won't hurt you anymore,” Braden whispers, his arms wrapping my body completely in a blanket of safety.

And I believe him.

 

~

 

“Let me in, you great big buffoon!” Lila shouts, hammering her fist against the door. “We have a road trip to start!”

“It's. Eight. A-fucking-m!” Kay snaps and pulls the door open. I sit up, rubbing my eyes.

“And it's going to take us eight hours to drive there, so get your lazy ass out of bed and finish packing!” Lila tugs her bag through the door followed by a grumpy Megan. Megan does not do early mornings.

She chucks a brown envelope at me. “Yours.”

“What is it?” I yawn and pick it up.

“Open it and find out.”

I rip it open and tip it upside down. A plastic cream-colored card falls out, and I stare at it. “Is that?”

“Fake ID?” Lila beams. “Yep.”

“And why do I have a fake ID?”

“Because we're going to Vegas,” Megan says dryly, raising an eyebrow. “And you can't go to Vegas and not have a fake ID.”

“Um, okay.” I shrug and put it on the nightstand, climbing out of bed.

Kay walks out of the bathroom, changed into her clothes for the day, and still grumbling about the “Fuckin' ungodly hour of the morning that should never be seen on a weekend.”

I laugh and pull my sweats from my drawer. Hey – it is eight a.m., and an eight-hour journey.

I head into the bathroom, change, and apply a bit of make-up, and get back out again.

“Are you packed?” Lila asks, tapping away on her cell.

“No. I wasn't expecting to leave at fucking eight a.m.,” Kay replies.

“Oh, goodness.” Megan looks at her. “Someone's happy this morning. You're just a little ray of sunshine today, aren't you, Kay?”

“Please don't go there,” I beg as I put the last of my things into my mini suitcase. “Just, don't even go there. She'll have you going all day.”

“It's-”

“Eight a.m. Get. Over. It.” Megan throws my pillow at Kay's head and I shake my head.

“Okay, the guys are ready and driving over now,” Lila announces.

“Wait, who's going with who? Where are we even staying?” I grab my fake ID and slip it into my purse.

“Um.” She holds up a finger and taps some more on her cell. “Okay, Maddie travels with Braden, Megan and Kay with me and Ryan, and Aston with the rest of the guys. We're staying at Treasure Island, and Maddie and Braden are sharing, me and Ryan are, Megan and Kay and Aston with the guys.”

I look at Megan. “She has a schedule on her phone, doesn't she?”

She nods serenely. “It's been there for a week.”

“Fuck ya schedule, Lila,” Kay says, standing and hoisting her bag onto the bed. “I'm packed, you're packed, and we're all packed. Let's move.”

Lila glares at her, stands, and grabs her bag. I sigh deeply, knowing this weekend is either going to be a great success or a great big flop.

Right now, I'm thinking flop.

I lock the dorm room door behind us and by the time we get to the bottom of the stairs, the guys are all parked up outside. Braden steps out from his Jetta and shoots a disarming smile my way. I smile back at him and let the main door shut behind me.

He walks towards me, taking the bag from me wordlessly and replacing it with his hand. He tugs me to the car and pops the trunk, putting my bag carefully next to his.

“Braden, you ready?” Aston leans out the window of his four-by-four.

Braden gives him a thumbs up. “You go on. We'll be right behind you.”

I wave at the girls and watch as the three other cars pull away from the dorm room and campus. Braden drops the lid of the trunk, and I look up at him.

“What was that for?”

He turns quickly, cupping my head, and his lips find mine. I tilt backwards, leaning against the car. His knee slips in between mine, and I grab his shirt when he unclasps our hands and puts his on my waist.

His lips are hot and sweet as they massage mine, and I taste chocolate chips and coffee. I nibble his bottom lip.

“Did you buy me coffee?” I murmur.

“It's in the car.” He pulls back, eyes twinkling.

“So, that's what that was all about.”

He rights me and drops another kiss onto my lips. “No. That was because I wanted to kiss you, because sitting next to you in a car for eight hours without kissing you is going to be a damn nightmare.”

“We can take a pit stop, you know. I want McDonalds for lunch.”

“Angel,” he says in a low voice. “These might be sweatpants, but they happen to fit you really well, especially around that ass.” He slides his hand down across my hip and cups my ass, his fingers flexing as he pulls my hips against his. “So if we stop, it won't be for fucking McDonalds.”

I swallow, my heart thudding in my chest. Apparently, with the realization I'm falling in love with him comes the realization that he can turn me to a puddle of red hot, bubbling, needy, desperately-wanting-him mush.

“Point taken,” I say in a somewhat strangled voice. “Let's go, before we never leave.”

“Don't tempt me,” he whispers and kisses the spot below my ear.

I slide from his grip and open my car door, getting inside. He wasn't lying – sitting in the cup holder is a coffee from Starbucks, and a muffin is sitting on the dashboard. He put that there before he got out. I smile and take it.

“Thank you,” I say as he starts the car up.

“Anytime.” He smiles over at me, and I smile shyly. I break a piece of the muffin off and lean over before he pulls away, putting it by his lips.

He opens his mouth, and I drop it between his lips. He closes his mouth, and as I pull my hand away, his lips brush the ends of my fingers. The simple contact sends a shiver through me, and I look down as if that'll hide my reaction. He coughs, clearing his throat and pulls away from the dorm block.

Good move.