Chapter 15

Sasha

“Next Saturday you’ll be meeting with, uh, some guy named Roberto...And then there’s Andrew on Sunday,” Laurel reads from the notebook balanced on top of her knees. She has her reading glasses perched on the bridge of her nose and, even though she’s already wearing her pajamas, there’s an aura of professionalism about her. Hiring her as my personal assistant definitely helped her get back on track.

“Do I really need to go to these auditions?” I sigh, feeling bad about what I just asked her the moment the words come out of my mouth. She’s been working her ass for me, and here I am ...complaining.

“Sasha…!” She cries out, putting one hand over her chest in a decidedly dramatic gesture. “You’re a rising star! You gotta act now. If you just wait, you’ll end up a C-list actress doing comedy sitcoms that no one cares about. Is that what you want to happen?”

“No, but -”

“But? But?!” She hisses, throwing her hands up in despair. Most times I can tell if she’s being serious or joking, but right now I can’t really tell the difference. “Okay, look,” she continues, and this time I know she’s giving it to me straight. “I know that working on Manhattan Reign is a ton of work, and I know that you’re tired...But the guys I’ve just told you about are big-shot producers. If they like you, and the scripts I’ve pitched them, you might end up working on some movie that makes it to the Oscars. ”

“The Oscars? Aren’t we aiming too high?” I ask her, although I definitely feel the allure of an award like that. But let’s be real for a moment – yeah, I just landed a key role in one of the most critically acclaimed shows on TV, Manhattan Reign, but that doesn’t mean I can make the jump from the TV to the big screen. And I feel so tired from studying my lines that I doubt I’d be able to handle another project on the side.

“Well, maybe,” Laurel finally admits, taking her reading glasses off and tucking them on the collar of her shirt. “But how does that saying go? Aim for the moon and, even if you miss, you’ll end up among the stars.”

“Yes, sensei,” I laugh, teasing her and reaching for one of the pillows on the couch. I throw it at her head and, even though she tries to dodge, this time I hit her straight on the face. “Headshot!” I cry out, and she responds by grabbing a pillow of her own and throwing it back at me.

“Admit it,” she continues, laughing as well, “I’m the best damn assistant you’ve ever had.”

“I won’t argue with you on that one,” I reply. I consider telling her that she has also been the first personal assistant I’ve ever had, but why ruin her mood? She’s been doing great, and I have nothing but good things to say about her work. Sure, eventually she’ll book me so many auditions that my head will end up exploding, but until that happens I’ll just run with it.

“So, what about tomorrow? You’re ready for it?”

“Yeah, tomorrow…” I sigh, biting my tongue. The sex scene between Kane and I is scheduled for tomorrow morning, and I’m a nervous wreck because of it. When I read the script for the first time, I felt nervous about it, but now that I’ve had sex with Kane...Well, I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle a scene like that, you know? I’ll be under the sheets with a man I want, pretending that I’m having sex with him...And that while I know I can’t have him for real.

“You’ll do fine. Besides, you already have some experience under your belt, don’t you?” Laurel asks me, and I look at her so fast that my neck almost snaps.

“What do you mean?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” she laughs. “C’mon, Laurel, did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I lie—or, well, I try to. There’s no way I can fool someone like Laurel.

“Yeah, nice try, girl. There’s a strut to your step, and you act differently whenever you’re around him...Something happened between the two of you, I know it,” she nods, folding her arms over her chest and staring at me with a triumphant smile. “You banged Kane, and now I demand to know all about it.”

“I’m not going to tell you all about it!” I protest, my cheeks feeling as if they’re about to melt off my face.

“Oh, c’mon...At least tell me—is he as big as he seems? Because, you know, he really seems to be packing quite a –“

“Shut up!” I laugh, throwing all the pillows I can grab at her. She raises her arms up in the air to defend herself, and then she starts laughing as well. “Okay! Fine! He’s as big as he seems!” I relent, leaning back against the couch and throwing my head back. I look at the ceiling vacantly, remembering how it felt to have him inside of me, and then I sigh heavily. “But it’s not going to happen again. It was just that once.”

“Good girl, Sasha. Keep your head in the game,” Laurel offers, looking at me as if she’s trying to read the contents of my own soul. “You can’t screw this up...I know Kane’s tempting, but —”

“I know, I know,” I sigh again. “That’s why we agreed on it; no more sex. We’re not going to risk our jobs just because of...something as silly as that,” I say, even though I’m not sure if sex with Kane is such a silly thing. In fact, I dare say it was one of the best moments of my life. “Besides, Alberta’s just looking for a chance to have me fired, and if she knew about this…”

“Yeah, that bitch really has it in for you. Do you want me to punch her? Because, as your PA, that’s something I can definitely do.” Raising her right arm up in the air, she strikes a pose and then squeezes her bicep. “I’ve been working out, you know? Just in case you need me to punch someone.”

“No,” I laugh, “I don’t want you to punch anyone. I just want to forget about what happened between Kane and I, and focus on the task at hand…”

“You know that the task at hand is to pretend-bang Kane, don’t you? First thing in the morning, you’ll be under the sheets with him.”

“Ah, I know…” I sigh, a blend of anxiety and excitement taking over me.

Focus, I think to myself, I need to focus.