Jacks

Shocked.

Shocked is one way to put how I felt when I learned Cam had never been in a relationship prior to me.

Fucking shocked was how I felt when she disclosed that she had been a virgin prior to Mal and Beck’s wedding night when we drunkenly hooked up.

Fucking devastated was how I felt when I learned she didn’t trust me enough to tell me these things from the start of when we decided that we were going to start a relationship.

And now, I can only rectify the situation by romancing her, treating her like the queen she deserves to be treated as, not going straight into the dominant personality every time that I tend to be in the bedroom. She’s right when she says that we aren’t always so rough and hard in the bedroom. We’ve had plenty of soft and sweet moments as well. Now that I am aware of her experience, or lack thereof, I want to give her all the sweet moments that I can, all that she deserves. I know that she enjoys rough sex, so I’m not holding out on her, besides I need that too.

I want that to start right away, but my face fucking hurts and I don’t want to half-ass it.

She’s right though and hanging out is what people in relationships do and I intend to give her all facets of what a relationship can be. It’s not like I’m an expert on being in relationships since I haven’t had a real one in years. This is the first actual relationship I’ve had since moving to the States, so some of this shit I’m making up as I go along.

We hang out and watch television, she snuggles against my shoulder as we talk during the commercial breaks. Eventually, we stop watching television, sit facing one another and talk. We discuss everything from life back home, to growing up, to likes and dislikes, and even the present.

We learn a lot about one another without the distraction of sex. As much as I want to act on satisfying both of our carnal appetites, the pounding in my head is deafening. I sleep in the bedroom with several pillows lifting me up so I’m not lying completely flat. Cam snuggles by my side, snoring lightly through the night.

I sleep, but it isn’t a sound night of sleep. By dawn, my body tells me to get up and to start my day. But, since the doctor ordered me to not work out for the next few weeks or do any other strenuous activity, I’m unsure what I’m supposed to do with myself.

I have a meeting at the club that I need to be at later this afternoon to discuss changes I mentioned to Mal and Beck but, until then, I want to spend more time with Cam.

I am busy at the stove flipping the Texas toast in the pan, when she entered the room noisily. I turn my body in time to observe her loud yawn and see her shirt slide up as she stretches. She is wearing a t-shirt with a pair of baggy sweat shorts. She scratches her side and then finally looks in my direction.

“What’s that smell? Is it…” —she sniffs the air— “vanilla?”

“It could be. I’m not sure if I’ve botched this up or not,” I admit.

“What are you making, chef?” she asks, padding across the kitchen space.

“French toast. I found some easy recipe online, so here’s hoping.” I hold up the spatula with a smile.

“I have to work today. Sorry. I couldn’t take the day off,” she says as she hitches herself up onto the counter.

My free hand goes to rest on her thigh as the other flips the bread.

“I’ll be at the club this afternoon. I may or may not stay for some of the night, depending on Kendra.”

“Don’t feel like you need to rush home. I won’t be home until midnight.”

“I’m not sure I like that you work such odd hours. Being out so late and all.”

“Are you getting protective?” she scrunches up her face.

“I’m just thinking of your safety.”

“But you aren’t even home until three or four, so what’s the difference? I would just be hanging out here alone and there’s just as much potential for something to happen to me here as there. Plus, if I was going to go out with friends, I would be out late too. What’s with the all of a sudden worry about my schedule?” she asks.

“It’s not all of a sudden. I mean, I guess I never gave it any real thought. Sorry, just ignore me. Can you grab some plates?” I ask.

She gives me a weird look before hopping off the counter and getting plates for our breakfast.

“Is this relationshipping? You being worried?” She quirks an eyebrow as she hands me a plate.

“I guess so. Sorry, if I’m fucking it all up.”

“I don’t think it’s fucking up. I think it’s cute, the concern that you have. I’ve never had that before from anyone other than my family.”

We move over to the dining table and sit side by side.

“How’s the nose?” she asks.

“Tolerable.”

“That’s good. It will probably get better a little bit each day. But I’m no doctor; you could be really jacked up.” She laughs with a shorts. “Jacked, get it. You’re Jacks and you could be jacked.” She takes a bite and then immediately moans in satisfaction as she chews. She points to her plate. “It’s like magic is happening in my mouth. So fuckin’ good.”

I smile and we eat our breakfast in as she rambles on and on about anything that seems to come to her mind. I pay attention to her mannerisms and how her voice hitches with every other sentence. I note that she doesn’t speak when there is food in her mouth and, after every other bite, she wipes her mouth as if she was thinking something is there. When she finishes her food, she turns to me fully and just stares at me. Feeling a little uncomfortable, I start to fidget with the napkin that I left bunched next to my plate.

“Do you think that you and I would have ever acted on our attraction to one another if it hadn’t been for the alcohol?” she finally asks.

I wait a beat before replying.

Would we have?

“I’d like to think that possibly in time, yes. But there’s no saying what would or wouldn’t have happened. We hooked up at that wedding and I think it opened up a whole new direction for our lives to go. Our choice that night to get horizontal changed the paths that our lives had been going,” I say.

“And how, pray tell, was your life going before I crashed drunkenly into it?” she smirks.

“You know how it was when you first started staying here?”

“You being at work all night and sleeping during the day, avoiding me?”

“Yeah, kind of like that. I occupied my time, but now I like to think I was trying to stay busy during my hours in between work and sleep to fill a void that I wasn’t quite aware of, until you drunkenly crashed into me.”

“Aw, that’s kind of sweet.” She leans her hand on her chin.

“You?”

“I’m not sure. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I’ve always crushed on you because growing up, you were just my brother’s friend. I think I really noticed you when I saw photos online of you and Mal when you guys opened your club. But now, I’m kind of wishing I came to one of your shows when you were still dancing.”

“Then you would have seen your brother too. We performed in all the same shows,” I tease.

“Well, shit. Gross. That would have been traumatizing.” She shudders.

“I gave you a lap dance that one night.”

“Yeah, you did. But I think it would have been interesting to see the whole show. Not saying that I didn’t really like that dance, because I really did. But you know, part of the experience is being in the club, feeling the energy of the crowd, seeing the sets and costumes.”

“You can come with me to one of the rehearsals once I’m cleared by the doctor?”

Her eyes light up and she sits up straight. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

I look at my watch and curse. “I’ve got to head to the club.

* * *

I stay late at the club, almost as late as I used to. Kendra has caught on quickly to the closing duties while I’ve been out the past few nights and I couldn’t be happier. Our meetings earlier this afternoon were successful and everyone was in agreement. Trina came to the all-staff meeting on crutches and made a big deal over my bandaged nose. After being told several times by Kendra and Janae to go home, I eventually left shortly after the final show of the night started.

I quietly let myself into the house, assuming that Cam would be asleep already. Instead I find several people talking in the kitchen with beers in their hands. Curious, I go in search of Cam, who was sitting on the couch with a man and a woman, all talking excitedly. She doesn’t notice me until I’m standing by her side. Her eyes start at my knees and then traveled up my body. Her mouth goes from an angry grimace to a pleasant smile when she notices that it’s me.

“Hey, you!” she slurs. Her eyes are were glassy.

I look over at the two people sitting with her and give them a half-smile, then kneel down in front of Cam.

“Hey, love. What’s happening here?” I ask, keeping my voice low and sincere.

“I got fired today, so I’m drowning my sorrows in alcohol and friendly faces.”

“These are all your friends?” I ask.

“Some are. I think some are friends of friends. Anyhow, hi!” She throws her arms around my neck and leans in to kiss my cheek. I look over her shoulder at the people she’d been sitting with and tell them to get lost with a jerk of my head.

“Love, are you okay?”

“Have I ever told you that I like it when you call me love? I mean, I know it’s a common thing, but coming from you to me, it feels really, really, really special.” She hiccups.

“Do you mind if I ask your guests to leave?” I ask her.

“I’ll do it,” she says confidently as she stands. She wobbles a little and I hold her elbow to steady her. She clears her throat loudly.

“Hey!” she bellows. I wasn’t aware that her voice could get so loud. “Oi! All yous need to leave! I’m going to get naked with my boyfriend and I think it would be best not to have an audience for that activity.”

Moans and grumbles erupt from the small crowd, and I get a few appreciative glances from a few of the females.

“Do you need me to call any cabs?” I ask, putting my arm around Cam’s waist.

“Uber, dude. Get with the times. How old is that guy?” some guy says to his friend as they head to the front door.

Several minutes later, Cam has said all her goodbyes and we’ve seen everyone out of my townhome. I sit her on the couch, grab her a water from the kitchen, and go back to sit beside her.

“Even with two black eyes and a bandage over your nose, you’re still the most handsomest. Has anyone ever told you that?” She leans her head on my shoulder.

“No, love, you’re the first.” I smile.

“The handsomest. And I mean there are a lot of contenders back home. It’s almost like there’s some magical potion that is put in the food and water. Aussies breed some handsome folks. But you, you’re the most handsomest,” she breathes out.

“Thank you,” I reply.

“I lost my job tonight, Jacks. What am I going to do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” she says quietly.

“We’ll figure something out, love. Don’t worry.”