My hands are trembling as I slide down from the driver’s seat of the truck.

The stolen truck.

The truck I had no business driving, given that I don’t have a license. Not to mention the fact that I was in no emotional state to be behind the wheel. In the five minutes it took to get to the bookstore, I almost ran off the road twice because of the tears blurring my vision.

Add to that the anxiety of being behind the wheel of a car for the first time since the accident, and it’s a miracle I made it here in one piece. Lucky for me, I hadn’t passed a single car coming in the opposite direction. That might’ve been too much for me to handle.

I know I won’t be so fortunate if I try to make the trek to Ella’s all on my own though. Thus the reason for the pit stop. Besides, I need to say good-bye anyway. And it’s not like I can keep Ian’s truck forever. Sooner or later, he’ll report it stolen, if only to try to track me down. This plan works better for everyone.

Now, I just need to convince Liv to drive me.

I walk into the bookstore, the small bells chiming on the door as it closes behind me.

Charlie steps out from the back, the smile on his face dropping as soon as he sees me. “Lexi? What’s the matter?”

He steps around the counter, coming to my side faster than I would’ve thought possible, considering his age. He puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me over to the chair in the corner of the room. He guides me down until I’m seated and then shouts for Liv as he perches on the ottoman.

Liv appears, blowing her overgrown bangs from her face as she sets down a stack of books. When she sees my tearstained cheeks, she forgets the books, leaving them to topple over as she rushes across the room to my side.

“Liv, the books,” I point out, hating the sound of them clattering to the floor.

She shoots a brief glance over her shoulder before turning back to me with a wave of her hand. “They’ll be fine. You, on the other hand…what’s wrong, Lex?”

I take a deep breath, wanting to delay the inevitable. I’ve done my best to avoid talking about that awful night for the past nineteen months. Yet here I am, having to explain it all for the second time in as many days.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” I say.

Then, I launch into the story. I tell both of them the details about my business and how losing it sent me into a downward spiral. I tell them about the drinking and the constant state of denial I lived in for months before that fateful night. And then I tell them about Lily and her mother. I watch as their faces fill with shock when they hear what I did. And I’m reminded once again why I’ve avoided the subject entirely. It hurts too damn much to see those I care about disappointed in me.

Charlie recovers first, closing his hand over mine and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry you’ve had to live through all that. That’s a lot for someone as young as you.”

Liv snaps out of her thoughts, placing her hand on my shoulder and nodding. “I’m sorry, too, Lex. I can’t even imagine. I’m glad you told us though. It helps me understand you better. Some of your reactions and emotions make a lot more sense now.”

I sniffle, grateful that I have such wonderful people in my life. Even if I am completely undeserving of them.

They spend the next several minutes asking me questions, which I answer as best I can.

After they feel like they’ve gotten the whole story, Charlie gives me a puzzled look. “That doesn’t explain why you showed up here today, looking like you’d lost everything though. What haven’t you told us?”

My hands begin to tremble again as I think about leaving Ian. “You both know who Ian is.” It’s not a question.

Once he told me, he saw no sense in trying to hide it from the rest of the town. Charlie was quite excited to know we had a professional baseball player living right here in Maple Lake. He was a big fan of the Babe, he added after Ian told him who he was. And Liv…well, Liv had seemingly hit it off with Ian’s friend and teammate. There was no way she wasn’t aware of what he did for a living. Not with the way Brandon had talked about the Rampage.

Liv nods. “Of course we do. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“Someone found out.”

I see the confusion flash across both their faces, and I know I’m going to have to elaborate more. I was hoping that would be enough. That they’d understand. But then again, this is a small town. There might be a lot of gossip among the locals, but they don’t exactly pay attention to the tabloids. They wouldn’t understand what something like this could mean for Ian’s career.

“Someone found out we were together and went digging into my past. It’s all over the news. All over the internet. Pictures of me from back then, quotes from friends who said I didn’t even care that I hurt people. They’ve painted me to be this awful, self-centered party girl. And they’re dragging Ian down with me.”

A light clicks behind Liv’s eyes, though Charlie still seems confused as to why it matters.

“So, his career is in jeopardy because of what some dumbass wrote?” she asks.

I nod. It’s all I can do.

“And, now, you’re leaving,” she says, not even a hint of questioning in her tone.

I nod again.

“What did Ian have to say about all this?”

I shrug. “He’s not seeing things clearly. He’s confused and hurt but not thinking straight. This is what’s best for him. If I disappear, he can pretend this never happened. They can tell people he had no idea, that I’d fooled him into believing I was something I wasn’t. His life can go back to normal if I go away.”

Liv shakes her head. “Do you realize how stupid that sounds? You’re the one not thinking clearly.”

“Lexi,” Charlie says softly, breaking through the icy glare Liv is currently shooting at me. “You can’t do this to him. You’re crazy if you think his life will just go on because you disappear. He can’t pretend it never happened because he can’t pretend you never happened.”

“You need to talk to him, Lex. You can’t run away. It’s not fair to either of you,” Liv adds.

I shake my head. “No, you don’t understand. This will ruin him. It’s not just a possibility. It’s a fact. He’s too noble to tell me to leave. But, deep down, he knows it’s what’s best. Or, at least, he’ll realize it soon. Once he starts to see reason.”

“So, you’re just gonna go? You’re leaving Maple Lake, leaving behind the house you’ve worked so hard on? Leaving the bookstore? Leaving us?”

The tears start falling harder. “Don’t do that, Liv. It won’t be forever. Only until he goes back. I’ll stay with Ella until then. Once he’s back in Seattle, I’ll come back.”

I don’t add that I’ll only be coming back to sell the house. There’s no way I’ll be able to stay here, not when every inch of this small town is riddled with memories of Ian. There isn’t a place in my home I can go that won’t remind me of him.

Liv shoots me a questioning look. “How are you getting to Ella’s? Wait, how did you get here? You didn’t walk all that way in this cold, did you?”

I flush, my cheeks heating under the embarrassment of what I have to confess next. “Actually, I was hoping you could help me.”