I’d practiced what I’d say to Andrew on a continual loop over the past four days. Ever since I’d walked out of my father’s high-rise. I think I started rehearsing in the elevator on my way back down. Without the hope Andrew would take me back, I might have crawled my way up to my father’s office and begged to return.

How he had screamed. Screamed like I’d not heard in nearly two decades. Not since my mother left. For once, his cool, disapproving stare hadn’t done its work. For some strange reason, I’d not practiced what I was going to tell my father. I’d been too caught up in my decision to fight for Andrew. Too overwhelmed by the realization that without him by my side, nothing else mattered. For once in my life, I’d not considered what my father would say. I simply walked into his office, waited for him to finish reading his computer screen, and blurted out, “I’m leaving the company.”

As soon as the words left my lips, two things happened. My heart calmed for the first time since leaving Lavender Shores. The decision was made. Whether he’d take me back or not, I was on my way to Andrew. And, I realized my lack of preparation in adjusting for my father’s reaction.

He was stone cold, which wasn’t unusual. But there was a dangerous edge in his tone that rarely made an appearance, and never with me. “I’m sorry. What?”

My brain scrambled for a plan, to come up with some way to ease into the news. But it was too late. The words had been spoken. To soften them would only lessen their resolve, diminish what I felt for Andrew. So, I settled for the truth, knowing there’d be hell to pay. “I’m leaving Harvest, Father. I love Andrew, and I want to build a life with him. If he’ll have me.”

“Have you lost your mind?” Still cold. Still granite.

“Probably.” Despite myself, I laughed. “Whether I have or not, I know I’m miserable. I know that I’ve never wanted anyone like him. Never wanted anything as much as I want to build a life with him.”

He rolled his eyes. “Then bring him here. That way when you tire of him, your life can continue.”

I opened my mouth, ready to argue. Offended and needing to defend my feelings for Andrew. Stupid. I was talking to my father about love. Nothing would come of that. “He needs to be in Lavender Shores. I won’t ask him to leave all he loves.”

He studied me. Perhaps trying to judge if I was losing my mind, which maybe I was. Whatever he saw, though, cut off his argument. He didn’t try to persuade me. “You are going to throw your life away for a man you were with for a matter of days.” It wasn’t a question. “You are a fool like your mother.”

I nearly pointed out that she’d not run away for the sake of love, but simply to escape him. “No, I’m not throwing my life away. I’m simply choosing a different one. One not centered around business and coffee and making the next million dollars.”

“You are a fool.”

Again, I tried to think of something to say. Something to help smooth this over. Again, I came up with nothing. To keep going would only make matters worse. “Sorry, Father.” I rose, considered offering my hand, thought better of it, and headed toward the door.

I was less than three feet from making my escape when a picture frame flew past my shoulder, barely missing my head, and shattered against the wall. “No! No son of mine will be this stupid. This weak! Sit your ass back down in this chair.”

For a split second, I considered running. Instead, I turned slowly, but stayed where I was. “Sorry, Dad. My mind is made up. I’m leaving Harvest.” I hated the tremor I heard in my voice at my next words. “I’d like to keep my relationship with you, though.”

He sneered. “Get your ass back in this chair, like I said.”

His expression made me wonder if he was the one losing his mind instead of me. “No, Dad.” Even as the words left my mouth, my body moved to obey him, so used to satisfying his every whim. I came to a stop after just a step or two. If I stayed any longer, I might give in, no matter what my heart demanded. “I’m leaving. I’ll call you later, though. After we’ve had time to calm down.”

“If you walk out that door, you are cut off. From the business, from the money, all of it. You will no longer be my son. No longer be a Rhodes.”

Part of me wanted to laugh. It was such a cliché. If I had played it out in my mind, I would’ve expected more of him. I nearly reminded him that I had my own fortune by this point, and that I was a Rhodes. Regardless. Again, it was all pointless.

Cliché or not, there would be no arguing with him, and I knew without a doubt his words were final.

A wave of loss shot through me, but I pushed it aside, allowed the sliver of freedom to take root. Focusing on the hope I had for Andrew, I shook my head. “Sorry, Father. I love you, but I’m leaving.”

He began to scream, his rage such that his words slurred as he snatched items off his desk and began to throw them at me. I was out the door and in the stairwell within a matter of steps, my mind already on Andrew. Planning what it would be like to see him again, going through the words I’d say. The apologies I’d have to make. The begging I’d do.

I’d grieve later for the waste of a relationship I had with my father. For now, I only needed to focus on freedom and Andrew.

From that moment on, I practiced endless options of what to say to the man I loved, until I finally started repeating the same words over and over. Which was perfect. It meant I wouldn’t mess it up. I’d even written an outline. Apologize, explain, and then beg.

But nothing had gone like I’d planned. I’d shown up at Andrew’s condo, banging on the door until one of the neighbors poked their head out to look at me. I’d driven to the palisade, and he hadn’t been there either, though there was now a swing on the front porch of Gilbert’s house. That had brought a pang. Well, the house hadn’t been the important part of the plan anyway, not really. Ultimately, I’d gone to the real estate office, though I knew they’d be closed for the Fourth. As much as Pete had foiled my plans the first time around, he was the one who offered me salvation. As I passed Lavender Leaves, I noticed the handwritten note on the door, explaining they were closed and at a party at the Kelly place. It gave the address and said to come on by; all were welcome.

Only in Lavender Shores.

I was going to have to hug the man when I saw him again. Him and his dog, whatever her name had been.

Once there, it was too much, the massive number of people in the Kelly’s huge Craftsman-style home. The people, the noise, the atmosphere. So completely different from what I’d envisioned.

And then there he was. Looking so beautifully handsome and relaxed. Maybe it was arrogant, but I hadn’t expected him to look relaxed. It had only been a month. Had he really moved on that quickly? If taking a month to recover after a four-day romance was quick. Though I hadn’t recovered. Seeing him so at peace was nearly enough to make me walk away and leave him alone. I’d done enough damage. Then I saw the puppy. The golden retriever puppy. The kind I’d said he should get to match his personality.

That couldn’t have been coincidence. It had to mean something. So I stayed. But I couldn’t move. Then he was looking at me, and my heart shattered. Soared and shattered. There’d been a spark of longing in his eyes, and then the walls came up.

We left the party and walked in silence along the tree-lined sidewalks, passing in and out of pools of light cast by the gas lamps every few yards. All my planning went out the window. I couldn’t remember one sentence of my speech. But the first part of the outline came back to me. “I’m so sorry, Andrew.”

He halted so abruptly that I took a few more steps then rejoined him at his spot on the sidewalk. He looked into my eyes, his expression unreadable. “Sorry about what?”

What to say first? There was so much my tongue couldn’t land on just one. “Everything.”

His eyes narrowed, and I knew I wasn’t answering correctly. “About the business or about us?”

“Both?” Shit. That wasn’t supposed to sound like a question. I was sorry about both. About everything, but I couldn’t tell exactly what I was supposed to say. I rushed on before he turned and went back to the party, counting me a lost cause. “I’m sorry about it all. Every bit. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest about the coffee place and who I was. I’m sorry that I hurt you.” I reached out and took his hand tentatively. I expected him to pull away, but he didn’t. He didn’t lace his fingers between mine, though, either.

“So… you’re here to make amends?” He took a breath and then let it out slowly, like he was searching for the right words. “Trying to ease your conscience?”

I nodded, then realized what that meant and shook my head. “No, not at all. I’m not here for me. I mean, I am. I’m here because I want to be. But I’m here for you. Not just to make myself feel better.” I licked my lip, trying to find the fucking words. There’d been a plan, and I had nothing. My heart was beating too hard to allow my mind to make any sense. The stakes were too high. Higher than any meeting or business deal I’d ever faced, and I couldn’t risk saying the wrong thing, but everything I was saying was wrong.

Andrew’s shoulders slumped, and he gave a little nod. “Okay. Well, that’s… good. I guess.” Another nod. “Thanks.” He pulled his hand free and started to turn.

“No, wait!” I grabbed his arm and held him in place. He looked back at me. “Just…” Fuck! I sucked in a breath as a thought came to me instead of words. “Wait, okay. Just wait. Just look at this.”

I let go of him, and he didn’t start to walk away.

I pulled out my wallet and whipped out Sandy Koufax, thrusting it at Andrew. “Look. Look at this.”

He took it, angling it so the streetlamp illuminated what remained of Sandy’s face. “Holy shit, Joel. Did you go to war with this thing? Were you that mad at me?”

I flinched. “What? Why would I be mad at you?”

“This is nearly destroyed.”

“No.” A groan escaped me. I was fucking this up. “It looks like that because I can’t quit touching it. Can’t quit looking at it. I nearly fell off the fucking Golden Gate Bridge when the wind almost blew it away. It’s the only thing I have that you touched, so I keep touching it. It’s as close as I can get to touching you.”

A solitary tear rolled down his cheek, and I saw the walls begin to crumble. He wiped it away.

I kept going, just spewing everything. Making a jumbled mess, but getting it all out there. “I love you. I want you. You’re the most important thing in the world to me. I quit my job. I left it. Left the whole fucking Harvest Company. I—”

“No, you can’t do that.” He cut me off, his expression horrified. “Joel, that’s your family. It’s your career. What you love.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s not. It’s not what I love.” I started to explain how it had gone with my father, but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered compared to him. “It’s what I was raised for, trained for, but it’s not what I love, Andrew. You’re what I love.”

His expression didn’t change. “You quit before you came here? You were that certain I was here waiting for you? Sitting in some corner, crying and praying you’d come back? Did you even consider that I might not forgive you, that you’d have to go back and beg your dad to return?”

I had to take a moment before responding, the realization that I really was losing him nearly making it hard to stand. “God, Andrew, I hope you forgive me, but even if you don’t, I’m not going back. I quit for me. Not just for you. I’m not going back to Harvest even if you turn me away.”

Andrew balked, his gaze softening once more.

I didn’t give him the chance to push me away again. “And no, I didn’t picture you crying for me. I know I hurt you, but I figured you’d be madder than anything. I’m the one who’s hurting. And I’m the reason. I ruined what we had. It’s you that I’m begging for forgiveness. Not my father.”

His voice was soft, barely audible. “I did that for the first weeks. Cried and prayed you’d come back. I was a pathetic mess.”

My heart lifted at that; maybe it shouldn’t, but it did. “I was too.”

Andrew looked skeptical at that. “I stopped that, though. I… quit waiting.”

So it was done. Final. He really had closed the door. “I don’t blame you.”

He took my hand. “You love me?”

“With all my heart.” I shook my head. “No, not just my heart. With all of me. Every bit. And just like if you turn me down, I’m not going back to Harvest. I don’t know what I’ll do, but I won’t go back. And if you turn me down, I won’t stop loving you. Won’t stop wanting you. I don’t care how long I go without you; I will love you and want you for the rest of my life. I will never get over you, Andrew Kelly.”

He crashed into me, causing me to stumble backward into a tree, not that I gave a shit. He wrapped his arms around my neck and smashed his lips to mine. So hard that at first I didn’t realize he was kissing me.

But he was kissing me.

Andrew was kissing me. And his body was pressed to mine. I was in his embrace once more. And he was there. My God. I clung to him. I’d been starved, and my soul sang at his touch.

I was crying, and I didn’t care. He was kissing me.

He pulled back just enough that I could see the tears rolling down his face. “I love you too.”

I started to kiss him, but Andrew held back. A shadow passed over his features. His expressive face shifted from sorrow to determination. Again, his words were quiet, but these seemed to be made of steel. “I’ll go with you, if…” He trembled in my arms. “If this isn’t where you can be.”

“What?” I thought I’d heard him wrong. It sounded like he was saying he’d move away.

“I know you’re not excited about small-town life, so I have to pick. A house and town or the man I love. If both of those can’t be home, then I choose you. My home will be where we are.”

In all the rehearsing I’d done, not one of the scripts had gone like that. To love Andrew Kelly, to build a life with him, meant being in Lavender Shores. It was the one part that caused me fear. He was right. I didn’t know how I’d do in a small town. But there was nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice for him. I’d tasted his loss, of life without him, and there was no place worth that, city, country, or kingdom.

It was easy to see how much his words cost him and how much he meant them. I never dreamed someone would love me so much. “No, my love. Home will be here. Hell, I’ll even get that Lavender Shores tattoo on my forehead if you want.”

Andrew sniffed, and his voice shook. “Really?” He laughed. “Not the tattoo part. We’re not messing up that face of yours.”

“I’m relieved that isn’t a requirement.” I couldn’t help but laugh as well. “But yeah, really. This will be my home. If you’ll have me.”

His lips quivered, and he nodded, tears falling fresh again.

“Maybe we can have a vacation home somewhere, someday, if I need a city?”

He laughed again and then wiped his eyes. “Yeah, I think I could handle that.” With his other hand, he reached out and stroked my beard. “You’re really here. This is real.”

It wasn’t a question. Though it didn’t seem real to me either. Life couldn’t be this good. There was one pang at that thought. “I’m sorry I hurt you, but I’m also sorry I made us lose the house.”

He flinched. “What do you mean?”

“Gilbert’s house. I drove to the palisade when I got to town, looking for you. Somebody’s moved in. There’s a swing on the porch now.”

Andrew smiled, happy and beautiful. “I bought it.”

I thought he was kidding. “You bought it?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. I told you I quit waiting a couple of weeks ago. I decided I was going to make my life exactly how I wanted it, as much as I could, anyway. House, dog, kids one day. If I didn’t have my soul mate, my man, then I’d deal. But I was going to have the rest.”

I pulled him closer. “Oh, you have your man. Completely. And we will have it all.”

The candlelight played over Andrew’s skin as he lay on the bed. To think I’d nearly lost this, lost him.

I’d wanted to devour him the moment we walked through the cottage door, but Andrew had slowed things. Said the first time we made love in our home needed to be perfect. I’d showered and emerged to a room full of candles. Then he put me in charge of music selection as he showered.

I chose one of Chet Baker’s instrumental albums and put it on repeat. As his smooth trumpeted jazz danced with the candlelight, I left Andrew’s lips and focused on making love to the man I’d nearly lost.

Using my beard against his skin, I rubbed my jaw through his chest hair, relishing his hiss of pleasure, and I breathed in the scent of him. There was no need to commit it to memory. I was going to spend countless hours exploring his body to the point his scent would become part of me.

Andrew curled his fingers in my hair as I kissed and licked down his stomach, letting the treasure trail over his abs lead the way. His erection bumped against my chin, and I took hold of it with my fist, holding it upright so I could bathe its head with my tongue, revel in the taste of him. I wanted to linger there, but I didn’t have the willpower, and I enveloped him in my mouth. I opened to him, taking his long erection down my throat, wanting as much of him in me as possible.

The thrill of being with him, the relief of his forgiveness and acceptance, mingled with the sinful beauty of his body, and I could feel my orgasm grow as I continued to pleasure his dick. I pulled off him and glanced up. “Sorry, I need to slow down, or I’m going to come.”

He looked down at my cock, his pupils blown. “You’re not even touching yourself.”

“True, but have you seen yourself? I mean come on. You’re a walking wet dream.”

He chuckled. “Shut up. I am not.”

He was. He so, so was.

Andrew didn’t give me a second to tell him that. “Then I suggest you change tactics. I need you. I need to feel you inside me. I want to look into your face as you come.” He motioned to the condoms and lube on the bedside table. “I got the stuff.”

I knew I wouldn’t last long, not with the buildup of the past several weeks, but I repositioned myself between Andrew’s legs. “Put it on me.”

Andrew smiled, grabbed the condom, and sat up, his shoulder muscles flexing with the movement. He ripped open the condom, but reached out and ran his fingertips over my erection. “You’re so fucking hot. Every part of you. I love how thick you are, how you stretch me out.”

I gripped his hand with a laugh and pulled it away. “You’re killing me here.”

He chuckled in a way that made it clear he knew exactly what he was doing. He slid the condom slowly over my shaft, lathered it in lube, and then met my gaze. “Don’t use lube on me. This will be enough. I want to feel you, really feel you.” He reached over, gripped me behind the neck, and kissed me. Hard and quick. Then he crashed back onto the bed and scooted toward me, like he couldn’t get me in his ass quick enough.

God, I loved that. Just like the first night. “Always hungry, aren’t you?”

“For you? Always.” Unlike the first night, there was no blush, no hesitation. And that was even hotter. Who knew?

I positioned myself over him, and he raised his legs, wrapping them around my hips.

He met my gaze one more time. “All at once, okay?”

This new unapologetic clarity of what he wanted threatened to make me come nearly as much as giving him a blowjob. “Yes, sir.” Securing my weight over him with my left hand, I used my right to line up, found his gaze, and shoved in.

Andrew let out a yell and arched his back, which opened him up to me even more, so I thrust in deeper, eliciting another yell. “Holy fuck, Joel! Holy fuck!” His hands shot off the bed and gripped my hips. “Hold on. Please. Hold on.”

Watching his expression shift from pain as he grew accustomed to me again to the tremble of pleasure was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in my life, not to mention the greatest compliment my cock had ever received. After a few breaths, he smacked my hip. “Okay, thank you.”

I began to move. I’d planned on pounding into him instantly, but couldn’t. The feel of being inside him once more was too much, too perfect. His tight heat surrounding me, his gorgeous body flexing with tension, his heavy breaths cutting through the soft music, the scrape of his fingertips and nails over my skin as he held on to me.

I’d nearly lost him. I had lost him. Yet here we were.

“Faster.” Andrew gripped his cock and started to pump.

There was nothing he’d ask that I wouldn’t do. I gripped him behind the knees and began to fuck, slamming into him, and then pulling nearly out, only to bury myself deep once more.

“Yes, baby. Yes. That’s it! Fuck me, Joel. Fuck me!”

I pushed his legs up, tilting his ass to a better angle, lifting myself up onto my toes and pummeled him.

Andrew cried out again, long and strangled, and shot his load over his stomach and chest. I kept fucking until his fingers tightened on my hip once more. I eased back to my knees, lowering him carefully so I didn’t slip out.

He looked at me, dazed. “That was… that was… I don’t even know.”

I growled in pleasure and a bit of pride. “May I finish in you, or are you too sensitive?”

“You didn’t come?”

“No, the condom helped.”

He smiled, liked I offered a second birthday present. “God yes.” He lifted his legs again slightly, but they trembled.

I pushed them against my hips again. “Lock your ankles.” He did, and I covered his body, resting my elbows on either side of his head and lowering my face to his. “I love you.”

One of his hands cupped my cheek. “I love you too.”

I kissed him and began to rock, using the slow thrusts I’d begun with, feeling my length nearly exit and then slide back home. I kissed him and relief filled me. He was mine, and I was his. And I was home. I was finally home.

Even when I came, I refused to break the kiss, crying out into his mouth, and then crashing onto him as he pulled me close.

I woke in the middle of the night but wasn’t confused about where I was, though I’d never spent a night in this house. Soft light drifted through the window, enough to make out Andrew’s sleeping features. He looked so young when he slept, so utterly beautiful. I knew he spoke of dreams and that I was the answer to his. It showed he was braver than I was. Never in a million years had I hoped for this. To find love with someone like Andrew. But I was so thankful that he’d sat on the cliffs and wished for me. He was the reason I got to have any of this.

After a long time, I pressed a soft kiss to his temple, careful not to wake him. I slipped out of bed and padded to the window. The night was cloudless, and the moon hung bright over the sea, the fading field of lavender over Andrew’s palisade glowed like silver. I wasn’t sure what Andrew had offered his wishes to—the moon, the sea, the cliffs, the flowers. It didn’t matter. I stared out at all the beauty and whispered my thanks, and then I turned and went back to bed with the man I loved.