Moonlight filtered down over the line of Andrew’s condo complex. Lavender Shores even managed to make mass housing appealing, which shouldn’t be possible. It was the hustle-and-bustle area of the town, the most city-like portion. Even so, it looked like Mayberry. A fairly rich, pretentiously cozy Mayberry, but still. And I was getting ready to move there. Hell, not even there. I was moving to a cabin in the woods by a cliff that couldn’t even pretend to be a metropolis, unless you counted the wildlife and plant species as residents.

What was I doing?

I tried focusing on the shadowy face of the moon, which stared back at me in judgment as I attempted deep breaths. The edge of panic laughed stubbornly and refused to be vanquished.

If nothing else, I should’ve rolled over to Andrew when I’d woken, sweating in the middle of the night. Maybe his arms and lips, his body, could’ve distracted me, pushed away the fear. Instead, I’d jolted up, tossed on pants, and went outside. Wrong move—it just reminded me of where I was soon going to be.

The tingle of trepidation had returned during dinner. Gilbert was both the cause and the distraction. He obviously hated the town, or at least despised it. No one else I’d met had anything but lavish praise for Lavender Shores. Not Gilbert. I felt sure there was a story there, but it also might have been due to the town being small, and being under everyone’s view and judgment. I got enough of that from my father.

What was I doing? I couldn’t move here. Couldn’t be happy here. I’d lose my fucking mind. Even if I did figure out a commute plan that worked.

No, I couldn’t do it.

I’d wake Andrew and tell him. It would be awful, but better now than later.

I was nearly to his front door when my anxiety flipped and presented me with another image.

San Francisco. My beautiful San Fran. Without Andrew. The thought stopped me cold, nearly enough to shatter my heart.

Moving away from the door, I sank down onto the sidewalk. I couldn’t leave him. Couldn’t live without him. God, how pathetic was that?

How could an hour’s distance feel so huge? People made long-distance relationships work all the time, and San Francisco to Lavender Shores didn’t come close to qualifying as long distance.

But it was more than that. Though Andrew hadn’t laid it out in stone, it was obvious he was going to live in this town for the rest of his life. To ask him to do anything else would be asking him to not be Andrew.

I wasn’t just signing up for a move to tiny Lavender Shores to be with the man I loved; I was purchasing a life sentence.

For a man I’d known less than a week.

I wasn’t thinking straight.

And it was three in the morning. The ultimate time for not thinking clearly. Though in the heat of the day, I’d had no hesitation looking into Andrew’s face and knowing he was the one, even though I didn’t believe in the one. He was it.

I was being ridiculous. Just having jitters in the middle of the night. It would all be better in the morning. It always was. And the morning would come with Andrew’s beautiful blue eyes, we’d make love, then breakfast, and all would be right. I’d sign whatever papers I needed to sign, and then we’d make love again.

That was it. That was the plan. And it would work. No change came without fear, even great change. The right change. Something would be broken in me if I didn’t feel like I was going a little nuts in this moment.

With that soothing thought, I went back to Andrew’s condo, slid into bed, and lay there stiff as a board, not wanting to twist and turn and disturb him.

The morning didn’t bring the relief I’d sought. Andrew had forgotten to set the alarm, and I’d finally fallen asleep around five, so I’d been dead to the world.

There’d been no coffee, breakfast, or making love. Just a frenzied, shit, we’re late, and then the rush, rush, rush.

We had parked downtown and were nearly to Lavender Realty when Andrew halted and turned to me, his hand sliding into mine. The first touch of the day. “Hey, I don’t think I’ve said more than three words to you this morning besides something in a panic.” His blue eyes looked into mine, and he smiled.

My heart slowed, finally.

“I love you, Joel. I’m so excited for all of this. If you really want to open another coffee shop, I’m sure I can get the council to change the rules.” He squinted. “I think.”

God, the fucking coffee shop hadn’t even entered my mind. It was so far down on the list of worries that it barely registered, even as he brought it up. I couldn’t remember the last time Harvest Coffee, and lately Comfort Coffee, wasn’t king.

Andrew shifted on his feet, suddenly looking nervous. “You okay? Having second thoughts?”

I swear I could see his heart breaking just asking the question. “No. I’m not.” I forced a smile. “I’m not, Andrew. No second thoughts.” I pulled him into a hug and squeezed tight. Burying my face in his hair, breathing in the clean scent of him, the Andrew scent, my pulse slowed.

Right. Andrew.

Andrew was king in my world now, whether it made sense or not. He came before everything else. The bottom line was I couldn’t lose him. The rest I’d figure out.

“I love you.” I kissed his head before letting him go. “Now, come on. I have papers to sign.”

It looked like he was going to protest, but I pulled him onward.

“Come on.”

As I pushed open the door, Regina’s voice greeted us, her pleading clear. “Please don’t do this, Gilbert. It needs to stay in the family. You know that—” The door chime sounded, and all went silent.

Andrew winced at me as he entered and shut the door.

Gilbert hurried from Regina’s office down the hall. His cowboy hat was gone, and his chestnut-brown hair flopped over his eyes before he swept it away. “Hey, gentlemen.” He smiled, but the tension was evident around his eyes. “Before you ask, no, I don’t have a hangover, and I’m insulted by the insinuation.”

Andrew didn’t take the bait but kept his voice to a whisper. “Everything okay?”

Despite a cringe, Gilbert matched Andrew’s tone. “Mom kinda surprised me. I expected this from Dad, not from her. It’s like I’m selling off one of her unborn grandkids.”

“Gilbert, I don’t want to cause a problem with your family. I can find another place.”

Andrew’s look let me know I hadn’t successfully hidden the relief in my voice. Gilbert didn’t seem to notice. “Hell no, man. I’ll owe you huge by doing this. That place is yours.”

I did a better job of looking happy as I smiled at Andrew. At least, I think I did.

Regina exited her office and walked toward us. Even her large Texas hair and pale yellow suit with football shoulder pads couldn’t fully distract from her red-rimmed eyes. She smiled at us.

“Sorry, you must think me a fool.” She cleared her throat, reached out, and squeezed my arm. “It’s nothing to do with you, dear. I think you’re wonderful, and I’m so happy for you and Andrew, really.” She let out a breath and straightened, then addressed Andrew. “Since you’re running behind, I took over doing the last-minute checks and getting paperwork printed off. I…” She tsked and rolled her eyes. “I am a bit of a mess this morning as well, as you can see, so I’m a bit late too. If you’ll set up in your office, we’ll do the signing in there. It’ll give me a chance to finish up really quick and get myself together.”

“Regina, let me do that. It’s my fault for being late, and I know this isn’t pleasant for you.”

She brushed Andrew off. “No, I’m fine. You know me, better to work through it than ignore it.” Andrew opened his mouth again, but she shook her head. “No argument. Go. Go.”

Gilbert, Andrew, and I moved into Andrew’s office, and he began clearing off his desk to make room for the four of us. It was all I could do to remain upright. One second everything seemed to move at lightning speed, the next it slowed to molasses. I couldn’t get my thoughts to clear or my heart to find a constant rhythm.

“Dude.” Gilbert cuffed me on the shoulder. “You all right? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Andrew studied me. “Joel, we can wait to do this.” Though his tone was neutral, it was clear those words cost him.

“No, I’m fine. Really.”

“I know.” He didn’t sound convinced, which only proved he was able to hear and see, and probably nearly touch the tension radiating off me. “But buying a house and business is a big deal. Even if it’s something a person’s wanted for a while.” I could hear the unspoken hint that suggested he knew that wasn’t my case. “And you just found the cabin a couple of days ago. With any other buyer, this would take a lot more time, but with it being the type of property it is, with Gilbert being a motivated seller—”

Gilbert let out a snort from where he sat at the edge of the desk.

“I’m aware that’s an understatement.” Andrew rolled his eyes and cast a quick glance at his best friend before looking back at me. “And with you paying cash, it all moved crazy quick. Most people need more time to adjust, even for things they want. We can slow down.”

We could slow down. We could.

And what would my father say then? What possible reason could I offer that would make sense for slowing down a business transaction that had been in the planning stages for such a long time? Regardless of my own thoughts and motivations around the cabin, Lavender Shores, and Andrew, the core of this purchase was business and would happen either way. Strangely, that helped.

Maybe not so strangely. This really would happen either way, so might as well get it done. I could process through all the emotional shit later. The property would still be mine, or at least the company’s, and I’d figure out how to make it work with Andrew.

There really wasn’t anything to consider here. This part had been decided before I’d ever set foot in Lavender Shores.

Wow. That really did help. “No, I’m good. Really. Sorry about that.” I let out a long, slow breath and smiled. A real one. “I truly am. Let’s do this.”

Andrew cocked his head and gave a little nod of affirmation. “Okay, then.”

Regina popped in with a stack of papers. Though she looked flustered, her eyes were clear. I was willing to bet she had a bottle of Visine in her purse. “Here are the first bits. I’m having a horrible time this morning, sorry. There’s a little glitch on some of the paperwork on Gilbert’s side; they’re saying the deed isn’t clear, but it’s just an error. I’ll get it cleared up shortly.” She handed the papers to Andrew. “Start on these. I’ll be back. Though I probably don’t need to rush, I’m sure I’ll be on hold forever, and their piped-in music is just atrocious.”

“There’s a glitch?” Andrew’s voice spiked, and he cast a glance my way.

She waved him off. “Just a mistake, obviously. I’ll take care of it.” And she was gone.

Andrew looked at me again and raised a brow. “You sure you want to do this?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I’m sure.” The fear was still there, but less. The coffee thing was what it was; it didn’t need any more thought. There was nothing to consider. And as far as Andrew? Fuck, just seeing him there, even though he was stressed, was all the certainty I needed. I loved him. I’d figure out the Lavender Shores thing. Everything was possible when love was involved, right?

Holy shit. When had I become that person?

Then there were papers. Paper after paper after paper. My signature became progressively sloppier as Andrew explained a page, handed it to me to sign, then I passed it off to Gilbert, and then we did it again.

Gilbert was signing his name for the billionth time when he straightened and smacked the desktop. “Joel Rhodes!”

I looked over at him warily, my neck stiff from bending so long. “Yes?”

“No.” He pointed to my signature above his. “Joel Rhodes. I knew I recognized your name.”

I felt my jaw fall open, and I attempted to shut it. Attempted to speak. Say something. Anything. Jump on damage control before the world exploded.

No words came.

“Were you married to—” He squeezed his eyes shut and a finger-tapped the table, and then he opened them. “—Mona Rhodes?”

I nearly lied, and if it had just been the business on the line, I would’ve, but this was Andrew’s best friend. This was Andrew, and I couldn’t blatantly lie in front of him. I nodded.

“Right! I remember her talking about you. Joel Rhodes.” His eyes lit up as he looked at Andrew. “That was the one, Andrew. Mona. My first big sale.”

Andrew’s face clouded as he looked from Gilbert to me and then back. “The one for twenty grand?”

“Yeah.”

Maybe I should’ve kept my mouth shut, but I was lost. “I’m sorry. What?”

Gilbert smiled over me. “That was my first big sale. I designed a bracelet for Mona.” He fluttered a hand between us. “Remember I’m a jewelry designer?”

If I’d heard that, I didn’t remember, but even so, it still didn’t make sense. “Okay, I still don’t—”

“You two went to the Oscars several years ago. She came to me to design her jewelry.”

My blood went cold. Holy shit. That had been the beginning of the end of my marriage to Mona.

And Gilbert had been a part of that.

I glanced at Andrew, trying to figure out damage control. Gilbert seemed the better option. I forced humor I didn’t feel into my tone. “Well, dude, I owe you big-time. That bracelet helped secure my freedom from the marriage. Your next six-pack over pizza is on me.”

“You were at the Oscars?” Andrew sounded incredulous. He gaped at me, his lips moving silently before finally speaking again. “I knew you were well-off. I mean, even in Lavender Shores, people don’t just plop down cash for houses, but—”

Before I could figure out a response, Gilbert broke in. “Andrew, Joel Rhodes. Of Harvest Coffee. Of course, he’s going to be a little more than well-off.”

I had the strangest desire to try to reach out and snatch his words out of the air and stuff them away before they reached Andrew’s ears. Of course, the only reaction my body came up with in that moment was the most useless one of all. I froze.

“Harvest Coffee?” Andrew still looked puzzled as he stared at me as if studying a stranger.

“Yeah.” Gilbert looked at me then. “I’m trying to remember what she said. Your… dad owns Harvest Coffee right?”

I didn’t get a chance to respond. To figure out if I could lie without killing what Andrew and I had, or if there was a way to spin the truth. Regina barged back into the office, frustration laced all over her. “Gilbert, will you come help me out? They’re saying there’s a lien on the property.”

“What?” Gilbert stood. “On my house?”

She nodded. “Something about medical bills.”

He groaned. “Oh fuck. I thought that was taken care of. I didn’t know anything about a lien.”

Regina’s expression shifted from irritation to worry. “Medical bills? Why do you have medical bills?”

Gilbert suddenly looked as trapped as I felt. “I’ll explain later, Mom.” He glanced at Andrew. “Be right back. I’ll try to get this taken care of. The bills are paid, but they’ve been a…” His words fell away at the expression on Andrew’s face, and he glanced at me again then motioned to the door. “I’ll just, uhm…” He walked away and paused to shut the door gently after him.

I turned back to find Andrew staring at me from where he stood behind the desk, leaning on both arms outstretched, and his ever-expressive face shifting from hurt and confusion to rage and fear, then swiftly back through the entire assortment, seemingly unable to land on just one.

“Harvest Coffee?” That sounded like rage.

Again, I searched for a lie or a new truth, but found neither.

“Harvest Coffee.” It was a statement that time, and he glanced around the office, not settling on anything as he mumbled to himself. “Coffee shop. Buying out Pete and Lavender Leaves. Opening a store.” His gaze fell back on me. “You were going to open a Harvest Coffee here or your own place?”

I snatched up the out. “Comfort Coffee, actually. I was going to open a new one.”

He relaxed somewhat. “Oh. You were leaving your dad’s company to open your own shop.”

I nodded. And felt like shit.

“Yeah.” I nodded again. I could do that. I would leave Harvest altogether. I’d cut ties. I’d open my own. It wouldn’t be a chain. None of this would be a lie.

Except that it would.

And if it came out, it would hurt Andrew. End us. And there was no if. That wasn’t how life worked. When. When the truth came out.

“No.” I slumped in the chair, giving in to defeat. “I was going to open a new one here, but it would still be part of the company.” Maybe if I stopped there, things would be okay. But I couldn’t. Andrew deserved better, so much better than me. “The cabin will be, uhm, would be, the flagship store of our new chain.”

Andrew stood straight again and crossed his arms over his chest. He nodded. His lips moved. He nodded again.

“Andrew, I never meant to—”

He held up a finger, silencing me. He nodded a few more times before his gaze leveled on mine once more. “So this entire time, knowing the regulations of the town, this was your plan? A way to get your company’s foot in the door of Lavender Shores.”

I just nodded again. I didn’t know what else to do.

“That doesn’t even make sense, Joel. Even if you set up a flagship store, the town wouldn’t allow you to make it into a franchise or anything.”

I couldn’t answer him. The truth was too ugly.

Andrew was too quick. “But you’re Harvest Coffee, huh?” His tone darkened, and his face screwed up into an ugly expression I never would’ve thought possible. “Let me guess. Bring in the lawyers until you got your way? Was that the plan?”

I sat there, dying inside. I couldn’t deny or confirm. Not that I needed to.

“Oh my God. I really am a fool.” Andrew’s face twisted again, and a tear slipped down his cheek. “I thought this was real. I thought you actually loved—”

“I do love you.” I sat up and reached toward him over the desk, but he flinched, and I dropped my hand. “Andrew, I do.”

He sneered through his tears. “Right. Loved me so much that you used me to…” His words fell away, and he sank into his chair.

I got up and moved around his desk, then went to my knees in front of him, dying to wrap my arms around him, but afraid to touch him. “I’m sorry, baby.” He flinched again. “I’m sorry, Andrew. None of this was planned. I just—”

He scoffed. “Really? None of this was planned? Sounds to me like there was a big old plan, probably with a big old board of directors waiting for you to weasel your way in here.”

I winced at the term, but he was right. Weasel was probably the nicest way to put what I’d done. “I meant hurting you wasn’t the plan.” I rushed ahead, realizing how that sounded. “Falling in love with you wasn’t the plan. But I do. I love you, Andrew.”

He didn’t look at me. “You couldn’t love me and do this.”

Maybe he was right. The thought hadn’t fully formed in my mind before I swept it away. Of all the things I was certain about, I knew I loved him. Loved him in a way I hadn’t even known was possible. In a way that made me desperate and terrified. In a way that brought me to my knees in front of him. “No, Andrew. I do. I love you.”

He sniffed, seemed to study a spot on his desk, and then turned to me, finally meeting my gaze. “So then your plans have changed? You really are moving here to open some other store. Not part of Harvest Coffee or Comfort Coffee or whatever-the-fuck coffee?”

I hesitated. The thoughts from the wee hours of the morning tumbling over me again, the possibilities of commuting, of how to make the coffee store work. The fear of being trapped in Lavender Shores.

“That’s what I thought.” He turned away.

“No.” I grabbed his arm. “My plans have changed. I want you in my life. I want you to be the center.” Whatever else I felt, that much was true. To the core of me that was true.

Andrew dared a glance once more. “So what? I’m supposed to convince the council to let you open up a chain here?”

I hadn’t even considered that, but it could work.

He scoffed. “Yeah. And I thought I was the easy one to read.” He pulled his arm free.

I wanted to reach for him again, but I didn’t. “Maybe try San Francisco with me.”

“What?” He looked at me, horrified.

I hadn’t meant to say it, but the words tumbled out. “Maybe you’d like it. City life. Try somewhere new. Just like Gilbert. He’s happier away from here. Maybe you would—”

His laugh was dark, though the pain behind his sarcastic tone was evident. “Right. Leave the town I love for the man who lied to me, used me, and made me think all my dreams were coming—” His voice broke, as did his expression, and the tears fell.

My God. I’d done this to him. I’d caused this. Agony ripped through my heart, tore at my soul. “Baby. I’m so sorry.” I reached for him, desperate to fix it, to soothe him.

Andrew flinched back so hard the chair nearly toppled. “Don’t!” He managed to stay upright and scooted away. “Don’t touch me.”

I realized tears were streaming down my face as well. “Andrew, please.”

“No.” He shook his head. “No. Just leave.”

“Baby.” I choked out a sob, reaching for him again. “Please, just—”

He shoved my arm away. “I said leave!”

I searched his eyes, trying to find any hope there. Any chance to fix things. There was nothing. Only anger. And hurt.

I stood, wiped my eyes, though the tears still fell, dying inside that this was the image I would hold onto for the rest of my life of the man I loved. “I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t bother responding. Not even a shake of his head this time.

Finally, I turned and left the office. I walked past the open door, where Regina and Gilbert both stared at me with something resembling hate, and then out the front door.

Within half an hour, I was headed back to San Francisco. As I neared the Golden Gate Bridge, I pulled off the highway and wept.