CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Simon says: There’s a perfect match for you; it just isn’t me.
By the time Cassie reached Simon’s office, she’d worked everything out. She’d rehearsed her speech all day. Her one hope was that Simon would own up to the fact that he shared her feelings.
His assistant greeted her warmly. “Hello, Ms. Beaumont. It’s good to see you again.”
“You, too, Ms. Snelling. Oh, nice tree.”
That was the extent of the Christmas decorating in Simon’s office—a small Norfolk pine on the credenza, draped with tiny white lights. Simple, classy, elegant.
Given her previous experiences visiting his office, Cassie automatically took a seat and picked up a magazine.
“Dr. Dodson will see you now.”
“Already?”
“Yes, he told me I was to bring you into his office as soon as you arrived.”
Cassie set the magazine aside and stood. It was now or never. The only thing left to do was forge ahead and pray they could discuss this with openness and honesty.
Ms. Snelling held the door for her. “Ms. Beaumont,” she said, announcing Cassie.
As he had at their first meeting, Simon sat behind his desk, studying a periodical. He glanced up, acknowledging her with a nod, then resumed reading.
Cassie took a seat, crossed her legs, uncrossed them, then folded her hands as she waited. She knew Simon now and was familiar with his ways.
When he did finally look up, Cassie could see that he was on edge. She wondered if he’d managed to sleep after he’d left her apartment and suspected he’d tossed and turned, the same as she had.
“You said you wanted to speak to me.” His voice was expressionless.
“Yes, please.”
He checked his watch. “You have ten minutes.”
That dictatorial approach didn’t fool her. He wasn’t going to intimidate her, nor was he going to scare her into being silent.
“Ten minutes,” she said softly. “I doubt it’ll take that long.”
He leaned back and Cassie leaned forward. “If you’ll recall, it was my friend Angie who suggested I make an appointment with you.”
He indicated with a slight nod that he remembered.
“You turned her down, right?”
“Yes.” He sounded bored. “You know very well I did.”
“For an excellent reason,” she said, “as you and I are both aware.”
He checked his watch again, as if to point out that the minutes were ticking away.
“Even though you rejected her, Angie thought highly enough of your skills as a matchmaker to recommend you to me.”
“I know my business, Cassie.”
“You won’t get any argument from me.” She grinned and looked down at her hands, surprised by how calm and controlled she sounded. While her heart continued to beat at an accelerated rate, she remained outwardly collected. “At first I thought the idea of those three tasks was ridiculous, but I complied. In fact, I was willing to do just about anything to prove my value as a wife.”
Once more he glanced at his watch.
“I understand now why you chose the tasks you did. Each one served a specific purpose. You knew all the facts I could list on a sheet of paper, and as a psychologist you could discern a great deal from that, but you didn’t know the real me.” She’d given much thought to his motives. “You didn’t know my heart.”
“Yes, well...”
“You wanted to find out how I interact with strangers as a volunteer. You wanted to see how well I deal with children and then you were interested in my homemaking skills.”
“Practical aspects of any good marriage. But these tasks also told me that you have compassion and flexibility and a sense of humor.”
She bowed her head to hide her pleasure at his words.
“John is looking for a woman who’s willing to have children with him. A woman who enjoys socializing and wants to be part of a community. You are all those things.”
He’d introduced the subject of John, so she’d better get that out of the way right now. “Oh, yes. John, the match you chose on my behalf. I do hope you cancelled the appointment.”
“Per your request I did. However, I feel you should know John was extremely disappointed, as I expected he would be.”
“I would’ve been, too, if I’d been waiting to meet my perfect match. Or as you’d probably say, my most suitable match,” she said with a grin.
“And you aren’t?” Simon challenged.
“No, unfortunately I’ve already made his acquaintance.”
Simon’s eyes narrowed. “Before you say anything else, I want you to think this through very carefully.”
“I have,” she said.
“I beg to differ.” Simon spoke in the same unfriendly tones she’d heard at the beginning of their relationship.
“I brought up Angie’s name for a specific reason. You knew after reading her answers to your questionnaire, and during your initial meeting, that she was in love with someone else.” She paused. “As I told you on Saturday, that someone happens to be my brother. As I also told you, I was impressed by your insight in recognizing her feelings for Shawn so easily.”
“As I’ve repeatedly said, I’m good at my job.”
“You knew it would be wrong to introduce her to another man when she loved my brother.”
“Yes.”
“It would be just as wrong to introduce me to John when I’m in love with...you.”
Simon briefly closed his eyes, then stood. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Don’t do this, Cassie. I’m off-limits.”
“I can’t keep still. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
He reclaimed his seat. Looking exasperated, he informed her, “This happens far more often than you realize. I’ve lost count of the number of women who believe they’ve fallen in love with me.”
“I’m sure that’s true.” Simon was an attractive man. He had a strong sensual appeal and would turn heads wherever he went. She didn’t assume for an instant that she was the only woman ever to fall for him.
“The thing you seem to forget is that you’ve paid thirty thousand dollars to meet the man I’ve chosen as your match.”
Cassie hadn’t forgotten.
“I held up my part of the bargain,” he said.
“Yes, you did.”
“I’ve deposited the check and it’s cleared your bank.”
She nodded.
“If you voluntarily decide not to meet your match, you should know there’ll be no refund.”
“I didn’t think there would be.”
“If you walk away now, without meeting John, you’ll forfeit your money.” He said it again, as if he felt it necessary to remind her of what was at risk.
“I’m aware of that.”
“It would be foolish for you to do this.”
“I’ve been called a fool for lesser things,” she said calmly.
He shook his head. “I wouldn’t have expected you to be an unreasonable woman.”
“Really?” She smiled, just a little.
He looked pointedly at his watch. “Your time’s about up. Is there anything else you’d care to say...in closing?”
This last part was said with emphasis, as though he was eager to usher her out the door.
“I’m almost finished,” she told him.
He sighed.
“I’m not telling you how I feel so you can laugh at me, Simon.”
His gaze held hers. “I would never do that,” he said, then added, “any more than I did with the other women.”
She tried to disguise a smile. “Nor do I wish to be humiliated.”
He agreed with a nod.
“I have reason to believe you share my feelings.”
“You—”
“Do you kiss other female clients?” she asked, interrupting him.
He was silent.
“I didn’t think so. How many have you taken to your home?”
“None,” he admitted from between clenched teeth.
“That’s what I thought,” she said. To her relief, he was being honest.
“I’ve never had a woman...a client break down in tears and turn to me for comfort. Yes, I stepped over the line. I regretted it immediately and, if you recall, I apologized.”
“You did.”
“I realized it was a mistake to allow any client access to my personal life after you showed up at my home later with the soup. I should never have invited you inside.”
“Why did you?”
He refused to meet her eyes. “I’d been ill for several days and my resistance was weak.”
“Resistance to me?”
“No,” he countered sharply, “resistance to impropriety.”
“Ah.” So that was the excuse he’d chosen.
“Afterward, I was afraid you might have read more into that evening than was warranted, and I see now that you have. I’m sorry I didn’t address the subject earlier. I wish I had. As I feared, you’ve got the wrong impression.”
“I see.”
“It would be best if we could forget that evening entirely, put it out of our minds.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I can’t forget that night. I can’t make myself regret it, either. It was after our evening together that I knew, Simon. I’d fallen in love with you.”
Simon met her look unflinchingly and yielded no emotion. “Please don’t continue. This is embarrassing for you and for me.”
“I have one other comment,” she said, striving to remain unemotional. “Actually, it’s more of a question than a comment.”
“Then out with it, and let this matter be laid to rest.”
She thanked him with a brief nod. “I can accept that a distraught female weeping on your shoulder might have caused you to offer comfort in a way you normally wouldn’t.”
“Thank you. I appreciate your understanding.”
“I can even accept the fact that your resistance was low when I dropped by your home that evening.”
Once more he nodded.
“But how do you account for the way you kissed me on Sunday?”
“Sunday?” he repeated. The color seemed to drain from his face.
“Can you tell me what prompted that kiss?” she asked.
He didn’t answer for a long moment. “I have no excuse,” he finally said.
“I’m not looking for excuses, Simon, I’m looking for honesty. It hasn’t been easy to lay out my heart for you. If I’ve misread the situation, then I apologize. In that case, I’ll walk out your door right now and you’ll never hear from me again.”
“That would...be a shame.”
“Yes, it would,” she agreed, hope seeping in for the first time since she’d entered his office.
“You’ve paid me a lot of money and I’d feel bad if you allowed this opportunity to slip by. John is awaiting an introduction, and I hate to disappoint him.”
Cassie closed her eyes, struggling to hold on to her poise. After a moment, she opened them and met his look head-on. “I’m not meeting John or any other man you deem the right mate for me. Or my ‘suitable’ mate or whatever word you want to use. I’ve already found him and it’s you.”
Simon didn’t acknowledge that comment in any way.
“Have I misread your feelings, Simon?” she asked softly.
He refused to answer.
Reluctantly she stood; she’d gone past her allotted ten minutes. “I won’t embarrass you further—or myself for that matter. But before I go, I have one simple request.”
“Fine,” he said tersely.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me. Do that and I’ll leave and never trouble you again.”
“I’m not playing word games with you, Cassie.”
“This isn’t a game. It’s my life, my future—our future.”
He squinted up at the ceiling. “Why do women have such a flair for the dramatic? I suppose you’re going to spend the rest of your life pining away for me.”
“No, I won’t,” she told him. “I love you and it’s up to you to accept or reject that love. It’ll hurt me, but I know I’ll get over you in time. In every likelihood I’ll marry someone else one day and perhaps even have children. Rest assured that if you reject me, I won’t leap off a bridge.”
“That’s a relief.”
She moved away from the chair, her heart pounding so hard she was astonished it didn’t echo through the room. She gave him ample opportunity to stop her.
He didn’t.
With her hand on the door, she turned back to look at Simon one last time. He sat at his desk, reading. She wasn’t fooled. He might not admit it, but he loved her.
“Merry Christmas, Simon.”
He glanced up and his eyes flared as though he was surprised to see her still in the room. “Oh. Merry Christmas.”
“Goodbye.”
She didn’t wait for a response. Head held high, she marched out the door. Once on the other side, she closed her eyes, almost collapsing to the floor as a wave of deep loss hit her.
Ms. Snelling’s chair scraped as she stood. “Oh, dear. Are you all right, Ms. Beaumont? You look like you’re about to faint.”
“I—I’m okay,” she stammered. “Thank you....” she added politely.
It was exactly as Cassie had feared. Simon Dodson, professional matchmaker, was an expert at finding love for everyone except himself.