1
TATUM
The second he opened that bedroom door telling me that I had a choice, I knew he was wrong. I didn’t have a choice. I never had a choice.
I had to run. It was my only option, and that was why I rushed out the door before I could convince myself not to. If my time with Castello taught me anything, it was to always expect the unexpected. And every decision had consequences, good and bad. It was up to me to make sure I made the right ones. I’ve learned not to underestimate him, and to not allow myself to think that I knew him. I was no longer the naïve, weak woman he had kidnapped with the intent to kill. I was stronger, wiser, and hopefully, I was learning how to play this game between us…a game of cat and mouse.
We’ve been living in his uncle Gino’s home since the day we fled from the Fattore mansion, but I hardly ever left the room. I couldn’t. No matter what happened that fateful day, I was still Castello’s prisoner. The matter of my freedom had not yet been discussed. He owned me, and for that reason I obeyed and accepted my place.
Even though the bedroom door had never been locked, I chose not to open it, not to set foot out of the room I shared with my captor. Call it cowardly. Call it stupidity. Call it what you want. But I had learned that the only thing to fear was the unknown. Outside that bedroom door lay the unknown, and I was too afraid to open it…until Castello opened it for me.
Now, while I ran through the unfamiliar halls with no damn clue where I was going, a part of me wished I was brave enough to have stepped outside those four walls sooner. Then maybe I might have stood a chance to not get caught. But now, deep down, I knew there was no getting away from him.
My heart was racing at a million miles an hour, the adrenaline swooshing through my veins like angry waves. The thoughts inside my head were too loud, making it impossible for me to think and focus.
The halls were dimly lit by a few antique lamps hanging from the walls. The smell of freshly polished furniture hung in the air, the oak floors guiding me from one hall to another. If Castello caught me, there was no telling what he would do. He might have given me a choice, to decide whether I wanted to run or not, but I knew him. I could see it in the darkness of his eyes as he stared at me, the way his jaw ticked while he waited for me to decide. Castello wanted me to make my decision based on what would please him. Everything was always about pleasing him. But tonight, I made the decision based on what would please me. Based on what I wanted…and I wanted to run. I needed to feel the adrenaline in my veins as Castello prowled the halls searching for me. Hunting me. It was thrilling to know his determination to find me was fueled by his desire to possess me, to dominate and devour me. Predator versus prey.
With a quick turn to the right I stumbled and caught myself against the wall. I had no idea how long I’ve been running through the maze of halls, but my legs started to feel weak, and my stomach clenched tighter with each passing second. But the fast beating of my heart, the anticipation and excitement that rushed through my veins incited me to move faster, further, to see how this all would end.
“You can’t hide from me much longer, little mouse.”
The sound of his voice caused me to gasp, and with my hands against the dark walls I started to move, my chest rapidly rising and falling as I struggled to breathe.
“Do you really think you can run from me? That I would let you get away?”
I heard it in his voice as it echoed through the halls. The threat…the promise.
“The longer you make me search for you, the harder your punishment will be, little mouse.”
Stumbling around yet another corner I knew that I would never find my way out of this maze of expensive architecture and Italian furnishings. So I opened the first door on my left, ran inside, and closed the door behind me.
It was dark, but I didn’t dare switch on the light. Darkness became my friend the moment I realized it no longer held the power to hurt me, but rather the ability to liberate me. There was nothing to fear in the dark. Castello showed me that for people like us, darkness turned into our playground. A place where we could acknowledge our deepest, most sordid desires, and embrace the shadows that cling to our souls.
I’ve learned to love the dark.
Footsteps came down the hall. It was him. My predator.
With a racing heart and heaving chest I searched the room for a place to hide. There were two couches with a huge desk on the other side of the room. Long, thick curtains draped the big window behind it, and there was a large cabinet to the left, a few feet away from the wall.
I rushed across the room, and hid behind the cabinet. I was still trying to catch my breath when I heard the soft, slow creek of the door.
“Are you in here, little mouse?”
His voice was low, dark, and I could feel how its sound reached for my soul like a demonic whisper, pulling me, willing me to give in. To give up.
“If you’re in here, it would be in your best interest to come out willingly.”
The door clicked closed, and my heart skipped a beat. He didn’t leave. I knew that. I could still feel him, his presence, the way the atmosphere pulsed whenever we were in the same room together. It felt like there was no air, only us, and the suffocating pressure of the knowledge that he owned me completely, undeniably.
“I know you’re in here, little mouse. I can feel you.”
The same way I feel you.
The sound of his slow footsteps filled the darkness. Knowing he was so close made my pulse race, my insides coiled tight with the most thrilling kind of anticipation.
“There is no escaping me. I own you, and the sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be.”
I tried my best to not even breathe. Sweat trickled down my spine, and my heart hammered against my ribs. I was almost certain he would be able to hear it.
More footsteps. “Your body is calling out to me, Tatum. I can hear the hum of your desire, the way it flows through your veins. It wants me, my touch.”
Desire flared, and I closed my eyes as I sucked in a breath.
“Your body needs me. It craves the ecstasy only I can give it. The release.”
Dear God. Every word he spoke made my body ache in ways only his touch could soothe. Just his voice, and the promise of bittersweet pleasures hidden behind it, had the power to lure me out, to throw myself freely at the mercy of my predator. My body was already willing me to give up, to give in, to let him do what he did best—possess me.
“Are you thinking about it?” More soft yet confident footsteps. “Are you thinking about what I’ll do to you once I find you? How I’ll punish you.”
I swallowed hard.
“The pain. The pleasure. The absolute fucked-up-ness of it all. It turns you on. It makes you feel alive…doesn’t it?”
I heard the soft sound of fabric, and imagined it being his jacket he just took off. With my eyes closed, and my heart racing, I pictured him unbuttoning his white shirt, exposing his smooth, firm, muscular chest one button at a time. Deep inside something was urging me to walk out, to let him find me, to let Castello do to me as he wished. It was, after all, what I really wanted. To have him bend and break me, to use me for his own pleasure…and mine.
The sharp sound of his belt being ripped from around his waist, leather snapping against leather, made me jolt, a soft gasp escaping my lips.
“Ah, that’s my girl.” By the sound of his voice, I knew he was smiling. “Tell me if I’m wrong, Tatum. Now that you know what it can be like, you know you won’t be satisfied with anything less ever again. You’re addicted to it. To the power of walking on that thin line between pain and pleasure. It thrills you, doesn’t it, playing in the dark?”
Stop!
I couldn’t take it anymore. Every word that came out of his mouth was laden with threats of punishment and promises of pleasure. The need kept on growing stronger. My very essence yearned for him, my soul pleaded for him to give relief against the sordid desires that plagued my body.
With my eyes closed, I allowed a hand to travel down, over my breast until I reached below my nightdress.
A soft whimper escaped me when I touched myself while imagining Castello holding his belt in his hand, wanting to feel the leather around my throat.
I moved my legs further apart, the throbbing, the ache consuming me more and more with each passing second. But a strong hand grabbed my arm and ripped my hand away, the lack of touch causing me to moan.
“I told you I’d find you.”
I opened my eyes and stared up into the dark irises of the man that had ultimately possessed every aspect of my life. “I had to try,” was all I managed to say.
He brought my hand up to his face, smelling the fingers that were playing between my legs mere seconds ago. “You tried, but you failed, little mouse.” He sucked a finger into his mouth before letting it go with a pop.
I bit my bottom lip. “You wanted me to fail.”
“Of course I did. Did you really think for one second that I would have opened that door for you if I thought there was even half a chance of you actually getting away?” His lips pulled up at the corners, and the scar around his left eye seemed to move, too.
“I don’t know half the time what you’re thinking, Castello.”
His hand came up to my throat and he squeezed lightly while brushing my skin with his thumb. “When will you learn that the correct way to address me is sir?”
I swallowed hard, desperately trying to calm the hurricane of emotions creating havoc inside me. This man had the power to scare and enthrall me at the same time. Like he could set fire to this burning flame of desire deep within my core while stirring an ice cold current of equal parts fear and doubt inside my head.
Castello Fattore was the ultimate mind-fuck.
He leaned closer, and my stomach clenched tighter when I smelled his intoxicating scent of amber and peppermint. It was the same scent that lingered in the bedroom we shared, whether he was there or not.
“You need to start playing the game correctly, little mouse.”
“By calling you sir? Master? Enslaver?”
His grip around my throat tightened abruptly, and he pushed my chin up toward his face. I was too busy trying to get air into my lungs to notice that his other hand was no longer pushing my shoulder against the wall. Instead, I felt his fingertips softly trace against my inner thigh, just below the hem of my nightgown.
“You know, Tatum, running half naked through a house filled with mobsters was probably not such a good idea,” he mocked with a wicked grin.
“Probably not,” I choked out, and his grip loosened just a little. “But hesitating after you opened that door wouldn’t have been a very good idea either.”
“Oh, how fast you’ve learned, little mouse.” He leaned closer even more, brushing his cheek against mine. “And just for that I’m willing to reward you.” His fingers travelled upward, and my breath hitched. His touch was like a toxin and a cure all rolled into one dose of pure ecstasy. No matter how hard I tried, I just wasn’t strong enough to fight the darkness that lurked inside me, and Castello fed that darkness with his own.
“You’re shivering, Tatum.” His warm breath softly moved against the skin of my neck. “Why are you shivering? Because you’re scared?” He sucked my earlobe into his mouth. “Or because you’re turned on?”
My entire body felt like a raging volcano, ready to erupt at any moment. His voice, his words, and his wicked ways had the power to consume me within seconds. My strength, my will was nothing compared to his seduction.
“Castello—”
“Shhh. I’d rather find out the answer to that question on my own.”
Without warning his hand slipped between my legs, his fingers tearing the thin fabric of my panties.
“Castello, what are—”
“Shhh, little mouse. I’d prefer your body do the talking.” And then he slipped a finger easily inside me. There was no way I could stop the soft sound of need that escaped me, proving to both of us that we were equally fucked up.
He moaned against my cheek. “You see, little mouse, your body can’t lie to me.”
“Stop,” I said against his palm. The word, my voice, held absolutely no conviction. None. I’ve tried so many times to convince myself that this wasn’t who I really was. That the person I’ve become since I met Castello was just a part of me trying to survive in his world. But that was a lie. A big, fat, naïve lie. I was every ounce of twisted as he was.
He pulled his finger out, then pushed it back in. My legs started to shake, my hips slowly moving against his palm, and I could feel myself slipping further and further down the pit of darkness that surrounded us both with nothing but sinful desires.
“I don’t think you really want me to stop, do you, Tatum?” A second finger entered me, and the only answer I could give him was by biting my lip, and moaning as my body started to demand more.
With his hand still around my throat, his thumb tracing all along my lips, Castello was busy doing what he did best…seducing me.
“Look at me, little mouse.”
I opened my eyes, and stared into his dark irises. I no longer saw any resemblance between him and Carlo. Nothing. Even though they were identical twins, I saw an entirely different man.
My lips parted, and he slowly eased his thumb inside my mouth. “Did you really think I would let you go?”
“Did you really think I wanted to run?”
His full, inviting lips curled up into a wicked smile. “Oh, how you thrill me.”
And then his lips were on mine, hard and heady, his tongue forcefully claiming every corner of my mouth. My body instantly reacted by pushing harder against his, my hips moving, searching, yearning, loving the way his fingers expertly sent me closer and closer to the point where I would no longer be satisfied with less than all of him. The harder he kissed me, the faster his fingers moved inside me. Nothing about him—about us—was soft, and gentle, and calm. Everything was hard—it was rough, turbulent, and aggressively passionate. Exactly the way I wanted it.
Castello was right. Now that I knew how it could be, now that I’ve tasted the darkness with him, I would never be satisfied with anything less. Castello knew what I wanted, and how I wanted it…just like I knew what he needed.
Hesitantly, yet desperately I placed my hands on his shoulders trying to push him away, wanting to prove to him that I can play. But his body just pushed harder against mine, like steel pinning me against the wall. He pulled his hand away, the cold air assaulting the need that pooled between my legs, and I moaned as my body mourned the loss of his touch.
He started with his pants zipper while never taking his eyes off me. “Don’t fight me.”
I lifted my chin in deviance. “Give me one good reason not to fight you.”
“Because you don’t want to.”
“You have no idea what I want.”
“Oh, but I know exactly what you need.”
Abruptly he grabbed my waist, pulled me against him and spun us both around, slamming my back against the wooden cabinet. The pain that radiated down my spine wasn’t strong enough to overpower the fervent need that possessed my entire body.
Cold, dark, hungry eyes stared down at me, and it only added more fire to the flame that already threatened to burn me to ash from the inside.
He traced a single finger down the side of my face. “It is a master’s responsibility to know his slave, to know what she wants…what she needs.”
“Is that what I am? Your slave?”
“There’s only one way to find out.”
With a hard jerk he grabbed my arm and spun me around, pushing my face against the cabinet. Castello pressed his elbow against my back, securing me between him and the hard wood. When I felt the sturdy leather of his belt being placed around my neck, I gasped with panic while my body continued to climb with sinful anticipation.
“Castello, what are you—”
Abruptly he tightened the belt around my throat, silencing me. The cold steel buckle pinched the skin of my neck as he tightened it even more, making it almost impossible for me to breathe.
He leaned forward, placing his cheek against mine. “You shouldn’t have run from me, little mouse.”
Before I could even attempt to reply, he pulled my arms behind my back and shoved me to the side, and toward the desk. Moans escaped me as I struggled and gasped for air, but my body started to quiver as the promise of sinful deeds thickened the space around us.
With a violent push, my body slammed against the mahogany desk. With his hands still firmly holding my arms behind my back he forced me down until my cheek was flat against the wood.
“Always a sight, you bent over, and completely at my mercy.”
“Cas—”
“Shut up.” The belt tightened. “Just keep quiet and let your body talk to me.”
A hand so soft, yet capable of inflicting so much pain, gently started to stroke up the back of my thigh, moving the fabric of my nightgown all the way up until it no longer covered me from his view.
I felt him slip a finger inside my torn panties, slowly pulling them down all the way until it fell around my feet.
“I need to see you, Tatum.” With his foot he forced my feet apart, spreading my legs. “I need to see all of you.”
His hand started its way back up my thigh, until his fingers softly stroked against the wet, sensitive flesh on display for him as he kept me bent forward.
“Do you know what I see whenever I look at you like this, spread open and so ready for me?”
I couldn’t answer. I didn’t want to answer.
“I see hell.” His finger dipped and traced through my slit, earning a loud moan from me. “I see hell masked, veiled, hiding behind the promise of finding pleasure in a paradise most men would kill for—which I have killed for.”
I closed my eyes thinking about Nicollo, how he almost took from me that which no man had the right to take. Memories of his blood painted across my prison walls bombarded my mind, and it threatened to pull me away from the moment…away from Castello.
But then there was a load crack, a searing pain, and a liberating feeling that spread through my soul like morphine, numbing every bad emotion that was brought on by the memory of almost being raped.
“Don’t you dare leave me, Tatum.” He slapped my ass again, the sound echoing around us as I relished the pain that felt so goddamn good. “There is no space inside your body, inside your mind for anything but me.”
He let go of my arms. “Grab hold of the edge in front of you.”
Slowly I eased my arms forward, my shoulders aching as I reached for the edge of the desk.
Castello tightened the belt around my neck and forced my head up as he leaned over my body, his lips touching my ear. “If you let go, I won’t let you come. Do you understand?”
Good God, no.
He pulled the belt back some more, and I almost gagged from the pressure around my throat.
“I asked, do you understand?”
“Yes…sir.” My voice was nothing but a desperate whisper.
One hard jab, and he was inside me. If it wasn’t for the belt around my throat I would have screamed out. Not being able to make a sound forced me to endure the pleasure in silence which only intensified everything I was feeling.
He plunged deeper into me, harder, causing both pain and pleasure to spread up my spine, ricocheting right back down to crash between my legs in an explosion of wickedly decadent sensations.
“You feel that, little mouse? That inferno blazing through your soul? The fire burning inside your core? Do you feel my possession straight to your bones?” Another hard thrust while his palm came down mercilessly on my thigh. I bit right into my bottom lip, tasting my own blood.
He pulled my head up more, bringing it closer to his face. “That’s me staking my claim over your body, your mind, and your fucking soul.”
I kept my eyes closed as he continued to move in and out of me with hard thrusts, pushing as deep as my body would take him.
“That means you belong to me, little mouse. As a woman, as a lover, as a pet…as a goddamn slave. You. Belong. To. Me.”
The belt tightened, and my lungs grew desperate as my body ached for release. I wanted to scream. I wanted to beg. I wanted to plead with him to give me what I needed.
I tried to move my hips as a desperate attempt to find the pleasure that would satiate the hunger that possessed every inch of me.
He let out a satisfying laugh. “You see, Tatum? Your body talks to me, and right now, it’s fucking begging me to let you come.”
His arm rounded my waist, his hand cupping me between my legs before his finger started to play with the one spot guaranteed to push me over the edge.
Without a breath, I allowed the sensation to carry me to a place where my darkest desires no longer had to hide. A place where I was free to embrace the guilty pleasures of my depraved being. My legs quivered, my body demanded, and I succumbed to the darkness which this man so easily evoked inside me.
He leaned his head closer, and I felt the warm skin of his cheek against mine. “Everything you’re feeling right now, with me buried balls deep inside you means that you belong to me. Never, ever doubt that.”
I tried to spread my legs even wider, wanting more, wanting him deeper. My need for air wasn’t nearly as strong as my need for ecstasy.
With one hand clutching the belt, the other grabbing my hip, his fingers digging into my flesh, Castello stood up straight and gave me exactly what he knew my body needed…and wanted. My mind still tried to stray from the truth. It still tried to convince me that all this wasn’t me, it wasn’t how it was supposed to be. But Castello was right. My body couldn’t lie to him. It was proven in the way I erupted. How my core exploded with such intense pleasure that every bone in my body started to quiver. My legs trembled, and I clawed my nails deeper into the wood of the desk.
The second Castello let go of the belt, I cried out while he kept his hard, fast rhythm, moving in and out of me.
“Say it. Say what you are.”
I was in a haze of sensual decadence, my body completely and utterly satisfied, and I was unable to get past it.
“Say it. God damn you, woman!” His palm came down on my skin, and the pain pulled me out of the sex-induced fog I was in.
“Your slave,” I cried out. “I’m…your slave.”
Castello roared like a demon possessed creature as he gave one final deep jab inside me, letting his pleasure fill me to the brim. Every time he came inside me it felt like he was drawing us closer, showing me that somehow, some way we belonged together. It just felt right.
I all but collapsed against the wooden desk, my body completely spent. By the strong weight that suddenly lay heavily against my back, I knew that Castello experienced the same.
This was us, Castello and me. There was no way either of us could explain it to anyone. No one, not even us understood what was happening. But whatever it was…it was dark, it was wicked, and it was intense.
I opened my eyes and stared out the window into the darkness of night. How long had we been here? A few days? A week? I wasn’t sure since I lost my grip on time. Ever since the day I witnessed by father being murdered, how Castello killed his own mother to protect me, I’ve lived in this haze where reality was no longer something I wanted to keep a grip on.
I wanted to forget. I wanted to wipe every memory of that day from my mind, and create my own reality where it was just me and the man whose touch set me free from the cruelty I’ve endured and witnessed. Some people might not understand how I was capable of sharing my body, soul, and mind with this man as if nothing had happened. As if I didn’t lose my father because of the Fattore family—the same family of the man I allowed to touch me, to kiss me, to fuck me…to hurt me. But without him, without the escape of being completely possessed by Castello and the depraved desires that simmered between us, I would have nothing but the memories, the grief, and the emotional torture of everything I’ve been through.
My body, my desires, my need for an escape had become the scars…and Castello the knife.