Chapter Fourteen
Nikolai would never forget this moment. A gray pall covered the sky, casting a soft light through the window panes. The quiet drift of snow floated to the earth. Two five-tiered candelabras flickered on either side of the vast bed, dusting the room in gold. Sienna undressed with her back to him, letting her dress pool on the floor.
Brave. So brave. He could hear her heart pounding as swift as a hare in a trap, and though she could not turn herself to face him, wrapped in nothing but her sheer chemise, she dared to look over her shoulder, letting him know what she wanted with a glance.
He was well and mightily caught. After her bold words in the parlor, she’d taken his hand and led him back to her bedchamber. Leaving him to stand in a stupor, he watched her light the candles, then quietly remove her clothes as if she were simply preparing for bed.
Except it wasn’t time for bed. It was still early morning, the rose of day unable to peek through the clouds, as if the snowfall would keep their secret. There were no words for what he felt at this moment, standing on the precipice of fate, preparing to grab what fortune offered with both hands. And heart and soul.
He couldn’t even count the number of women he’d bedded over the last century. He’d never thought of the action as anything more than a physical release to calm the beast within. He couldn’t even remember the last woman he’d taken without feeding on her first.
And here was the greatest complication of them all. Sienna. Standing demurely in her bare feet and her chemise, gazing at him with desire and wonder and a little trepidation. She was right to feel fear. Once they’d crossed this threshold, she’d be forced to take him, beast and all. Her easy willingness to give him what he wanted, what she wanted, paralyzed him to the spot.
His knuckles cracked when he balled his hands into fists. He forced his shoulders to relax, rolling one then the other to loosen them, then ambled closer, focusing on steady, even breaths.
“Look out the window, Sienna.” The beast rode his vocal cords.
She did, taking a step closer to the world of white.
He shucked off his boots, his scabbard and knife, and his shirt, then strode up behind her. After pulling out the green ribbon holding her braid in place, he combed his fingers through her hair. He could spend an entire day feeling the silky strands fall through his fingers. That was when he knew he was truly lost. He swept her auburn tresses over one shoulder.
“What do you see out there?” he whispered close to her ear, sliding his hands along her waist.
“Snow. Hills.”
“What else?” He wet his lips and brushed them down her slender neck.
She tilted her head farther for him. “Clouds.”
“What else?” He trailed his tongue along the inside seam of her shift, down her shoulder along the back of her neck. He paused to move her heavy locks to the other side, then continued his exploration with his tongue, the heavy scent of lavender and musky woods filling his nostrils, drawing out his canines.
Her breath hitched. “Trees in the distance…covered in snow.”
He cupped both her full breasts, rolling her nipples between thumb and forefinger through the fabric, pressing his hard cock to the small of her back. “What else, Sienna?”
“I…I don’t know,” she said on a breathy gasp. “I don’t care.”
“That’s right.” He pulled the ribbon loose at the bodice between her breasts, then curled his fingers around both straps and yanked the shift roughly off her shoulders, letting it pool on the floor. She gasped but didn’t move. “Because there is nothing else. No one else,” he grated low and deep. “There is only us.”
He palmed one breast, lightly tweaking the taut nub and gliding his other hand between her legs, stroking her slick readiness.
She whimpered when the press of his cock stretching against his leather pants brushed her bare bottom. She was so wonderfully exposed. So completely open to him.
His blood burned through his veins, the urge to bite and sate his hunger in every possible way an aching torment. His fangs extended too far for him even to close his lips together.
She rocked her hips in small thrusts, as if she were trying to hold back, but she wanted to let go. He stroked a finger inside her, and she gasped.
“That’s it, sweetheart. Let the world disappear.”
She dropped her head back to his chest, her body becoming more pliant in his arms. He relished the feel of her soft body opening to him.
“I want you to put your hands on the window ledge and bend over,” he commanded, slowly easing his hands away and clasping her waist so she didn’t fall when her knees wobbled.
“What?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder.
Her voice was husky, and the look of a woman ripe for her lover nearly knocked the wind out of his chest.
With a deep breath in, he repeated with a nod toward the window. “Put your hands on the ledge and bend over.”
She still didn’t move, seeming to try and process what he wanted. “I don’t think that’s the best position for someone who has never—”
“Shh.” He took her wrists in a firm but gentle grip and planted her hands on the windowsill, sliding his hands up her arms. “Do you trust me, sweetheart?” he whispered in her ear.
“Yes,” came her swift reply.
Flattening a palm between her shoulder blades he eased her down and slid his hand to the small of her back, her auburn hair falling over one pale shoulder.
“Bloody hell,” he growled. “You’re so beautiful.”
Then he was on his knees with his mouth on her sex, sinking his tongue inside her. She screamed. Her legs flexed and straightened. He held them wide and licked her senseless, glorying in the soft whimpers filling the chamber as he readied her to take all of him. He rolled his tongue and suckled her tight bud. She moaned, arching her spine to give him more.
“That’s my sweetheart.” He flicked his tongue back and forth, relishing her soft mewling sounds. “Give me what I want.” He opened his mouth wide and sucked hard, laving with his tongue till she bucked and cried out with her climax.
Before she could even come down, he swept her up and into his arms, carried her to the bed, and laid her on her back. Too much in a hurry to get his straining cock inside her, he stripped his pants and edged his knees onto the bed between her thighs. Her gaze, half lidded, sultry and hungry for more, watched him grip his full cock in hand. She scooted back and widened her legs.
“You shouldn’t look at me that way,” he said, leaning on one arm and slicking the head of his cock in her wet folds.
Her eyes rolled back, then she looked up and licked her sumptuous lips, gripping his bare shoulders bunched with tension.
“What way is that?”
“Like you want this inside you more than anything in the world.” He rocked forward a little, giving her an inch of him.
She let her mouth fall open on a gasp. “But what if it’s true? What if I do want you more than anything?”
“Fucking hell, woman.” He slid in another inch and locked his muscles tight when her eyes widened in pain.
The beast inside of him roared in triumph, banging on its cage, trying to claw its way out so it could show her who she belonged to. Sweat broke out all over his body as he reined it in, holding back the monster that hid from the world. Especially from her.
“You can drink from me…” she offered, baring her neck. “If you want to.”
God, how he wanted to. He knew she wanted the elixir to dull the pain. That was to be expected. But he would have none of that their first time, nothing to cloud her vision or put a haze between them.
“Not until I make you mine. I’ll have your mind clear and lucid. It will hurt, but—”
“Enough,” she commanded, rolling her hips up. “Take me, Nikolai.”
He pushed in another inch. Her mouth formed the perfect O as she scraped her fingernails down his chest to his abdomen. He could’ve broken through with his fingers last night and made this intrusion less painful, but the beast and the vampire wanted to take her virginity with his cock, piercing and marking her in the most primal way possible.
“Look at me, Sienna.”
She did, her eyes dilated and dazed, her mouth open and panting, her body open and waiting for him.
He kissed her deep, till she was matching him with desperate strokes of the tongue. Then he pushed home, burying himself deep, her body tight and slick around him. He swallowed her cry as she dug her fingernails into his shoulders. The prickling pain only made him harder. Thick and throbbing. But he held still, letting her body adjust to his.
He pressed his sweat-slick chest to hers, savoring the feel of her full breasts against him. “Use your claws, sweetheart,” he said, pulling out gently and thrusting slow on a languid glide. “Use whatever you need.”
He pulled out and pumped deep, circling his pelvis when he was flush against her, his thick girth stretching her. The scent of her virginal blood filled his nostrils, marking him in a way that shattered him. A primal need surged within his breast, so powerful it rocked through his body just as he rocked inside of hers—to protect, to keep, to cherish, to worship this woman at all costs. His own mortality suddenly seemed to be tied to her. If anything should happen to this precious, beautiful woman, it would surely kill him.
“Kiss me, Nikolai,” she begged.
He needed to be closer. Banding his arms around her waist, he squeezed her close and rocked up, sitting back on his knees. He loosened his hold and she sank down onto his rigid cock, her breath slipping out on a whimper. Threading his fingers through her hair, he cupped the back of her skull and devoured her lips. In their eagerness, she flicked her tongue over a fang, pricking it deep. On a long moan, she stroked her tongue into his mouth, letting him suck the sweetness of her inside of him. As it slid down his throat, knowing she’d gotten a drop of his elixir, she pumped her hips up and down, trying to meet his tempo.
“Fuck, woman. You’re going to kill me,” he declared between panting breaths.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, gaining a better hold as she rolled her spine in the perfect rhythm as he hammered up inside of her. Her eyes were nearly black, dilated pupils covering all the green, her mouth open in sensual need. She was perfect. He gripped her ass and shifted her higher so he could skate his tongue down to a taut, pink nipple.
“Nikolai!” she cried out, rocking her hips faster in frantic, desperate need.
He trailed to the other side and circled the nub with his tongue, then nibbled. “Scream my name again, sweetheart. I want to come so hard inside of you, so deep, neither of us will be the same.”
She grazed her fingers up his jaw and dipped two fingers inside his mouth, pricking one on a sharpened fang. “Suck,” she whispered breathlessly.
He did as she commanded, sucking inside him the sweet nectar of Sienna. Her mouth fell open, her head dropped back and she screamed his name, her sex pulsing as she squeezed her thighs together.
On a deep, rumbling growl, he thrust up hard, hammering deep and grinding as he came with such force, the room hazed and his vision edged with black. Pulling her tight, he let the sensation ripple outward, the power of the moment palpable and terrifying.
Sienna pushed back and gazed down, her auburn hair in messy tumbles around her fair shoulders. She traced her pricked finger along his lips, lining them with her blood. He licked her sweet offering, unable to fathom someone as giving as Sienna, someone who offered him so much of herself.
“Why don’t you feed?” she asked.
He tilted her forward to lay back on the bed and eased his cock out of her slowly. She winced with a hiss.
“I will not take anything else from you, sweetheart.” He pulled the covers back from underneath her, then lay beside her. “You’ve given too much.”
“No.” She rolled to her side to face him, nuzzling closer when he pulled the coverlet up to her shoulders. “You’ve given me more—” A tear slipped down her cheek, striking Nikolai to the heart.
“What’s wrong?” He cupped her cheek, sweeping his thumb across. “Does it hurt that badly?” He cursed himself. His pride be damned, he should’ve given her a full dose of the elixir. But he wanted her fully attuned to him, not his potent potion that could fog her senses.
She shook her head. “No.”
“Then what? Tell me.”
She hesitated.
He threaded his fingers into her hair, cupping the back of her head. “Tell me, Sienna, or I shall go mad.”
She dropped her gaze to the base of his neck where her delicate fingers explored. “I just never thought I’d have anything like this. That I’d ever be with someone like you when I left the world behind to live in the woods.”
“Someone like me?”
Her eyelashes fluttered, then she looked up, her exploring fingers sliding up along his jaw and into his hair. “Strong. Brave. Fearless. But also thoughtful. Giving. Gentle.”
Nikolai barked out a laugh, unable to believe her description of him.
“What?” she asked when his chest still shook with laughter.
“Sweetheart, I’m not sure who you’ve been with, but I do not deserve all of those lovely attributes.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Strong, yes. I’m vampire. Brave, well, perhaps it has come with age. But the rest?” He wrapped a heavy hand over her hip beneath the covers, squeezing possessively. “I’m afraid those are not me. You’re conjuring up fantasies.”
She sobered. “The man who brought his partner food in the early morning hours was thoughtful. The man who rented a room in the freezing rain so that his partner could warm herself in comfort was kind. The man who bought her new, dry clothes and who thought of her shaking fingers enough to buy her gloves, knowing what she owned already wasn’t nearly enough to stave off the cold, that man was giving.” She traced his broad shoulders with the lightest touch, branding him with her gentle caress. “The man who took me in his arms and thought of my needs before his own, that man was giving. And the one who fought three vampires without a care for his own life, but managed to defeat them all to save me, that man was fearless.”
In a swift move, he rolled her under him, both forearms planted above her shoulders, his hands cupping her beautiful face. “You place me too high, sweet Sienna. I am not a thoughtful, giving man. I’m selfish and bad-tempered and prideful most of the time.” And a monster on occasion.
It was her turn to laugh. “We all have our faults. But I see who you really are.”
Her words pierced his heart. “I am not fearless.”
She brushed away a lock of hair that had fallen into his eyes. “What are you afraid of?”
“Losing you,” he answered, the confession churning his stomach into knots.
She simply smiled and lifted up to press a soft kiss to his lips, a frown pinching her brow as she lay her head back on the pillow. Nikolai realized the discomfort she must be in. He shot out of the bed and padded across the room to a vanity where a pitcher of water and ewer sat. He poured the water into the bowl and soaked the rag that had been left for washing. Warming it between his hands, he walked back. Sienna watched him intently, a smirk tilting her pretty face, a look he hadn’t seen before.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Nothing. Just enjoying the scenery.”
He chuckled, pulling back the covers. “Are you now?”
“It’s quite lovely.” Her eyes roved down his naked body.
“I hope to offer the view to you as often as possible,” he said, gently wiping and pressing the rag between her legs.
She bit her lip as he finished his ministrations, then folded the rag and set it aside. She scooted over to let him back under the coverlet. As soon as he was situated, she cuddled up close with her head upon his chest. Nikolai chuckled.
“What is it?” she asked, exhaling a sweet sigh.
“I’ve never done this before.”
She popped up, her eyes wide in shock. “What? You mean…”
He pulled her back where she was, warm and soft and perfect in his arms. “I mean…nestled with a woman in bed. After. Or at any time for that matter.”
She giggled. “Well, I’ve never snuggled with a man in bed. So we’re even.”
“Bloody hell, woman. Don’t put that image in my head. I want to lacerate the poor sot who doesn’t even exist.”
“Well, you mentioned other women,” she noted with a sharp edge.
“Look at me, Sienna.”
She raised her chin, bending her head back, her body still molded to his.
“There is no other woman. There never will be another. There is only you.”
Her moss-green eyes softened as she brushed a lock of his hair back with her fingers, then lay her head on his chest. As he combed a hand through her silky strands, falling like tendrils of fire across the pastel blue coverlet, he heard her whisper back, “Only you.”
Those two small words echoed through his mind, pulsing bright and strong, then wound around his heart, constricting so tight, he thought his chest would split open.
How had it come to this? How had he opened that door and let her into his heart? She was a mortal, flesh and blood, and yet she held him captive like no one in his entire life. Not even his darling father, when he was still alive, could wield the kind of power this auburn-haired beauty did. The crux of it all was she truly had no idea. And perhaps that was for the best.
He’d kept that dark monster from crawling out of his cave for an entire century. The beast that crept in the shadows of his soul, longing for the moment to rise and show the world what wrath and bloody ruin truly looked like. The one who’d branded him a murderer as a young vampire. He could never let that animal loose again. Especially not now, not with the soft and delicate angel clinging to him for protection, smelling of sweet lavender and the deep woods where no one went. The woman whose quiet vow of only you had tilted his world and slammed home the reality that he could never be good enough but he’d damn well spend her lifetime trying.
No. He would keep his foul secret and go with it to his grave, if he ever should meet a mortal fate. He could never tell her the truth, lest those trusting green eyes widen in horror and turn away from him in shame. That, he could not bear. Death would be better.
“Go to sleep,” she murmured against his chest, jarring him back to the well-lit chamber. “We have a long journey tonight. Rest with me.”
He kissed the crown of her head, inhaling her sweetness, then obeyed her will, falling into the most sound sleep he’d had in over a century.