Chapter One
The lights on the TV flickered as I channel surfed. If you’d told me two weeks ago that I’d be sent home from St. Ailbe’s and stuck hanging out in the media room of my parents’ Colorado house, I wouldn’t have bought it. Not for a second. But I would’ve been dead wrong.
St. Ailbe’s was closed. Indefinitely.
When I first heard those words, I’d been secretly glad. A break at home seemed kismet. The last few years had been a bit hellish. That evil witch, Luciana, had cursed me so I couldn’t connect with my inner wolf, and I’d slowly lost power until finally, I almost died.
It was fine now. I was fine. The curse had been broken, Luciana’s demon-riddled, crazy ass was dead, and I had a fantastic mate. My life had turned around faster than I could process. Everything was awesome.
Except my brothers were driving me bonkers.
As I tried to sink deeper into the couch, I wished for the millionth time that St. Ailbe’s would open again. I checked my phone, just in case I’d missed something, but my inbox had exactly zero unread emails.
I squished down the little zing of disappointment. I totally got why Mr. Dawson had to shut down the school. Ever since werewolves made global news by fighting Luciana and her demons in that chapel in Santa Fe, the flood of reporters and crazies at our gates had gotten unbearable. We couldn’t safely be ourselves when reporters were using helicopters and telephoto lenses to spy on us. People were literally crawling over our fences day and night. I wasn’t sure when—or if—school would be open again.
My friends had scattered, with only Adrian staying on campus to help patrol the grounds. Chris was home in the Texas valley. Tessa and Dastien were off on their honeymoon. Claudia, Lucas, and what was left of their coven were leaving for Peru.
And me? I was stuck at home while Donovan dealt with the fallout from our exposure. The Council of Seven werewolves was in Canada, meeting with a delegation of witches, fey, and other supernaturals. Donovan was going to be busy, so I’d thought that going home was my best—and only—option, but now…
I’m sorry you’re not here. I do miss you. Loads. Donovan’s love poured through the bond that tied us together as mates. I’m dying to hear the latest from your mother. What was she ranting about today? Has she finally told you what a proper mate does? His suggestive tone had me chuckling.
Shut up! I covered my face with a pillow to muffle my laughter. My mom had been on my case too, but unlike my brothers, she didn’t care about my ability to defend myself. Nope. Instead, she regaled me with the ins and outs of how to be a good mate to an Alpha. You’re going to get me caught.
Caught? What are you up to now, Meredith Molloney? His voice was all low rumbles now.
Nothing. I’m watching TV. But they think I’m in my room. I have maybe five more minutes before one of my brothers realizes I’m not where I’m supposed to be.
They’re locking you up? His outrage was real this time.
No. Even though my brothers were giant pains in my ass, I didn’t want to get them in trouble with Donovan. They’re still running drills. I snorted. It’s been endless, and it’s all your fault.
Aye. Well, then. I better make sure I’m worth it. Donovan’s words held all kinds of promises that made my heart race. It never ceased to amaze me. A few months ago, I was still cursed. No Were in his right mind would’ve agreed to go on a date with me, let alone be my mate. Even if female Weres were rare. I was so thankful to Tessa for breaking the curse. I owed her my life. Now that I had control over my change, I could have a full life as a Were. And I couldn’t—
Suddenly I was airborne.
I tucked, rolling as I slammed into the wall with a crunch that would’ve hurt a lot more if I were anything but a werewolf.
The screen flashed bright enough so that I could make out a blond form standing above me. I took a whiff. “What the hell, Max! Another fight? We’re too old for these games.” At least I was too old for them. I shook off the drywall dust and gave him my best glare. “It’s over. You lost to me. A lot. Get over it.” I’d gotten fed up the last couple days and started pulling power from Donovan to beat my brothers. I couldn’t beat them on my own, but I’d thought if I proved I could handle myself, then maybe they’d back off a little.
I’d never been more wrong.
My brother sighed. “You’re going to be mating one of the most powerful werewolves in the history of our race. If not the most powerful one. That makes you a target. And his pack is one of the most ruthless, elitist, unwelcoming—”
“I know,” I yelled it before taking a breath. “I know what I’m getting into, but—”
“You don’t. You’re too young. Too naive. You can’t possibly—”
“Max,” I said, cutting him off. I was never going to win this argument, but I had to try. “With access to Donovan’s power, I can beat pretty much anyone. I can only get a little of it now, but that alone is enough to beat you. You’ve been training me since I was a girl, and you’ve done your job. It doesn’t matter if I’m joining the Irish pack. I’m Wayfarer pack at heart and in skill. Always.”
Our small pack had only twenty-three wolves besides my family. Most packs were extremely territorial, sticking to a home base, but ours went where we were needed. Whenever there was an outbreak—vampires or whatever—Wayfarer pack came in as backup.
Where Donovan’s pack was known for being elitist, ours drew the best of the best fighters. We were tough and loved a good fight. It made sense that the guys trained twenty-four seven. I was usually happy to join them, but not all day, every day starting at the butt crack of dawn.
Can of worms opened. Now my brothers were trying to catch me off guard. They wanted to see if they could surprise me enough that I’d forget to pull alpha power from Donovan. They were calling our bond a handicap.
“Please,” I nearly begged my brother. “Trust me. I’m going to be okay.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s the Irish pack that has me worried.” He motioned for me to get up, and I couldn’t help the growl of frustration that slipped out. “I want you to fight me without pulling from Donovan. What if you’re separated? Or your bond gets broken? You know better than me that anything’s possible, and if you’re not prepared… You can’t use him as a crutch.”
That stung, and the fact that it was possibly accurate made it that much worse. Am I using you as a crutch?
Nah. You use what you have available in any and every fight. I’ll always be here.
But what if you’re not? Maybe Max had a point.
My brother started at me again, and I rolled, grabbing his feet as I went. He fell to the ground and then it was on. We wrestled until sweat poured down my face, blurring my vision. My muscles ached, and I wondered when one of us would finally cry uncle and end this.
But I couldn’t give in. I wouldn’t give in. If I wanted any chance at stopping my brothers’ incessant hounding, I had to win. Without Donovan’s help.
You’re just playing with him, Donovan said through the bond.
Playing? My brother’s foot dug into the small of my back as I tried to wiggle out of the current hold. The oldest of my siblings had way more than a handful of inches on me and a ton of muscle. He’d passed his Cazadores test a few decades or more ago and had only gotten better—stronger, leaner, faster—over the years. Without Donovan’s help, there was exactly zero competition. Max knew it. I knew it. But somehow my mate was oblivious?
You’re not using your full potential. You think you’re weaker than your brother, so you are. Doesn’t have to be that way. Donovan sounded bored.
Perfect. Now I was getting critiqued by my mate. Only he couldn’t see how badly my ass was getting handed to me. Max is the best fighter in the pack. I’m giving it everything I’ve got, but I can’t win. I growled as Max wrenched an arm behind my back to the point where I was sure he was going to tear something. Not that it wouldn’t heal as soon as he let me go, but the pain…
I bucked, trying to get him to loosen his hold, but it wasn’t working. At all.
You spent years with your wolf suppressed. It’s no wonder you think you’re weak, but you’re not.
“I didn’t suppress shit,” I said aloud.
My brother’s grip loosened. “What was that? You giving up?”
“I wasn’t talking to you.” I gritted out the words.
“No cheating!” My brother rolled me, pinning me in an even more impossible position. I was eating carpet with both my arms twisted behind my back. My brother’s full weight was on me, and I could barely get in enough air.
There was no getting out of this. I should submit.
Don’t submit. Not ever. When Luciana cursed you, you were too young to really be one with your wolf. It takes a few years to know what your power level is. Given a chance, you would’ve come into your own, but you didn’t have the time. Your wolf was beyond your grasp before you got to know her.
I gasped, twisting my neck as I tried to breathe in a little more air, but all I got was a mouth full of fuzz as my brother pressed down on me. Your point?
You don’t need me to beat him. Let your wolf go.
The idea was ludicrous. I’d sparred with Max my whole life and I never won. I’d never even come close. Not until I started pulling power from Donovan.
Trust me, Donovan pleaded softly. I’d not lead you astray.
My vision was going dim. Screw it. I let go. I didn’t shift, but I let my wolf rise, gathering her strength. Embracing it. Feeling her… It was like coming home.
Strength seeped into my limbs. If I let go any more, my muscles would stretch. Re-form. White fur would cover my body.
I took one deep breath and then bucked. Hard. I twisted as I jerked my body, breaking Max’s hold around my neck for just long enough to get loose. I moved quickly. My wolf might not be as powerful as my brother’s, but she was fast. Much faster than Max’s. I flipped him over, threw my forearm over his throat, and growled. “Submit.”
He struggled for a second, blue eyes flashing brightly. Max was more alpha than me. Or I’d thought he was more alpha than me—we both had—but maybe Donovan was right?
Of course I’m right. Donovan sounded mildly insulted.
I almost laughed.
Better to learn this now. I could almost feel is wink through the bond.
I did laugh, then. Max thought that meant that I was giving up, and struggled against me, nearly getting away. I pushed harder, and a gurgle slipped from his throat. I was choking him, cutting off his airway. “Come on. Don’t be an idiot. Submit.” It was just my own power—my wolf—backing those words, but maybe it would be enough.
He started to say something, but I couldn’t make it out. I let my arm up just enough.
“Fine,” Max’s voice rasped. “But I want the remote.”
And there it was. The sweet feel of victory.
Holy shit. You were right. I am more alpha than my brother. This was epic. It was like the dawn had just come, and I felt amazing. He couldn’t order me to do shit anymore. No more training at ungodly hours. I could sleep in every day if I wanted.
This was beyond epic.
I rolled off Max and lay panting on my back. It wasn’t the easiest win of my life, but it was a win. In the end, that was all that mattered. “No. Remote goes to the winner. Loser makes the popcorn.” I gave him a good kick in the ribs. “In case you were wondering, that’s you.”
The lights flicked on. “Okay. You can leave the house.” Dad’s voice startled me. I’d been so caught up in the fight that I’d lost track of my surroundings. Rookie mistake.
I rubbed my eyes as they adjusted. “What? You were in on this, too?”
Don’t be too hard on your da. Proper battle training is a big part of becoming a leader among Weres… And it’ll come in handy with my pack.
Right. Because your pack is filled with assholes. I figured my family was proud of me because of who I was mated to, but also scared for me because I was going to have to join his notoriously unfriendly pack. I appreciated both but could do without the constant lectures and training.
Donovan let out a pained sigh. I wouldn’t say they’re all assholes, but my pack is selective about who they allow in. I’ll help you as much as I can, but it’s best if you show your strength to them early.
Oh boy. That sounded like fun.
And I still couldn’t believe that Dad was in on this whole test Meredith twenty-four seven until she goes crazy plan. “Really, Dad? Was all of this necessary?”
He shrugged, but he didn’t seem the least bit sorry. “It was your brothers’ idea to get you ready for the Irish pack and whatever else might come up, but I supported it. If you’re not careful, you’re going to be in over your head. That’s a fact.”
Great.
“That said, I think you’ve more than earned a break. A day away from this house is all yours. Wherever you want to go, your brothers will take you.”
My father had kept me confined to the property because of how much I’d been on the news lately. I’d traded my hot pink streaks for electric blue, but I knew the color change wasn’t going to fool anyone. The rest of my hair was still jet-black. I could go back to my trademark Pettersen hair—the white blonde from my mother’s side that all of my siblings shared—but that would make my mother happy. I couldn’t have that, even if it got Dad to lighten up on his fears about me getting recognized. Under no circumstances did he want someone following me back to the house.
Reporters climbing our gates? Yeah. No. He wouldn’t handle that very well.
All the workouts, sparring sessions, and training with my brothers had kept my days packed full, but getting out sounded wonderful.
Dad walked to the wall and ran a hand along the Meredith-sized dent in the drywall. “Damn it. I told you not to break anything.” I nearly squealed with delight. Payback was a bitch. “One of you boys is fixing the drywall in here, and we’re going to have a serious talk about following orders.”
There was a chorus of groans from my four brothers.
I tuned them out as I thought about where I wanted to go and who I wanted to go with me. The only non-Wayfarer I knew in Denver was Cosette, but she wasn’t answering her phone. No one had heard from her since Santa Fe. I was sure I didn’t need to worry about her—she could more than handle herself—but I was worrying anyway. I was pretty sure she’d gotten in a lot of trouble for helping us take down Luciana. We couldn’t have done it without her, and I felt like if there were some way to help her, I owed it to her to try.
I brushed my sweaty hair away from my face. “I’m going to take a shower, but I’m making plans for tomorrow. Wherever I want.”
“Within reason. I’m not going on any spa days.” Micah threw me a towel. His white-blond hair was cut short against his scalp, and the tattoos he sported along with his battered combat boots and torn black jeans gave him a serious don’t-mess-with-me vibe. Which was completely planned. As the youngest brother, he had the most to prove and was the hardest to get along with. Not that I didn’t love him, but sometimes he made it more work than I wanted.
He still wasn’t over the time I made him get a mud bath. For a tough guy, he didn’t like to get dirty. “You need to relax. A massage could do you good. Or a hot soak in some—”
“No way. I smelled horrible for days. Pick something else.”
Dad put his hands on his hips as he stared down at me. He wore a pair of pants that looked like slacks but had enough give that they could be qualified as workout pants. His button-down had panels on the sides so that it wouldn’t rip whether he was throwing punches or shifting. As our pack Alpha, he was tougher than all my brothers put together. “I just don’t want to hear about any shenanigans. No showing up on TV again. Are we clear?”
“You end up on the news a couple of times…” I muttered. True, the whole supernatural community had gotten outed, but give a girl a break. We’d been hunting a demon-summoning evil witch. How were we supposed to know the cop cars’ dashboard cameras would auto-upload to the police station server? And I couldn’t exactly help that there’d been reporters around as we left the chapel. There’d been a ton of cops there getting their asses kicked before we even showed up. The battle was already so loud, it must’ve woken up half of New Mexico. There wasn’t any way anyone could’ve shoved it under the carpet with the humans.
I chewed on my lip as I replayed the horrible scene in my mind. The memory so sharp I could almost smell the sulfur…
I shook it off, but my mind went to my friends—specifically Cosette. She’d had my back and was probably in the area. If I was getting out of here, I had to call her. At least try and get her to meet up.
“I think I’m going to call Cosette. See if she wants to go shopping.”
Max and Dad shared a long look before Max finally spoke. “That might not be the best thing right now.”
“Why not? She’s my friend. She has a condo in Denver. If she’s around, there’s no reason I can’t hang out with her.”
“Let’s just say the fey aren’t happy with the pack,” Max said.
“I understand that the fey are mad, but Cosette’s not just fey. She’s my friend. Friendship overrides all that political nonsense.”
“She’s fey first. Just like we’re pack first.”
I nearly growled. They were pissing me off. Time to make my exit.
I started to brush past my father, but he stopped me. “I know you’re friends with her, but I want you to be careful. Colorado has a heavy fey presence. Donovan is meeting with the queens to smooth things over, but until that happens, do everyone a favor and heed your brother’s warning. Leave Cosette alone.”
I blew out a breath. Arguing wasn’t going to get me anywhere. “Fine. Maybe Ciara will go shopping with me.” Ciara was kind of like my nanny, but more like my mom slash best friend. We talked about everything, and when I was first cursed, she was the one who’d pulled me back from a deep depression.
But she’d been avoiding me since I got to Colorado. It wasn’t like her. We’d never even fought before. A shopping trip would be a good excuse to find out what was going on. If I’d upset her somehow, I’d make it right.
“Good. I think that’s a much better idea,” Dad said.
I leaned back. Dad’s hair was a darker blond than the rest of ours, but all of us had his blue eyes. "Okay." As soon as I said the word, I wanted to take it back. I understood his point, even if I thought he was wrong. Now more than ever, it was important to protect my friendship with Cosette.
I’d text her anyway—just to say hi. I didn’t think she’d answer, but reaching out wouldn’t hurt anything. At least I didn’t think it would.
“Thanks for understanding.” Dad grasped my shoulders, pushing me back just enough to brush a kiss on my forehead.
“Love you, Dad.”
He tapped me softly on the chin and turned, leaving the room without another word. Micah, Matt, and Miles followed him, but Max hung back.
I was by far closest with him, which was probably weird because he was nearly twenty years older than me. My youngest brother was only a few years my senior, but Max had always understood me the best. He gave me the freedom to be myself without any judgment.
He wrapped an arm around me. “That was an impressive maneuver. I’m not quite sure how you got out of my hold.” He squeezed me a little tighter before letting go.
“It’s best if you come to term with reality now. I’m just flat out better than you.” I gave him my best grin.
“No. You cheated. I know you pulled power from Donovan.”
I shook my head. “Nope. All me.”
“I refuse to believe that.”
Laughing, I headed for my room. “Refuse all you want. Doesn’t change the fact that I beat you fair and square.”
“No… It just… I can’t…” He growled. “Tomorrow I’m calling in the rest of the pack. We’ll see who’s having a fun time after they’ve been at you for a day.”
I rolled my eyes, even if Max couldn’t see it. The rest of the pack had been too nervous about fighting me. If I got hurt, would the mighty Donovan come after them? The fact that there was even a question meant there was no way Max would get them to join in on their “training” session.
I lifted a hand, waving at him without turning around. “Looking forward to it.”
Maybe Donovan was right. Maybe I wasn’t giving myself a fair shot. If I could beat Max…
Plus, our bond was relatively powerful. I could already pull a decent amount of power from Donovan, and I wondered what we’d be able to do once we had our Full Moon Ceremony and completed our bond.
With someone as powerful as Donovan, anything was possible.