THE CAR STARTED BUT Chloe didn’t open her eyes to look. Her exhausted brain didn’t care. She kept her arms crossed over her chest and leaned her head against the window. The car pulled out and quickly sped up. The road turned this way and that, but the swaying calmed and soothed her. She doubted anything else could have provided that for her right then.
She let it go. For some peculiar reason, she released all of her grief and anger, her tears, and general upset. She just let it all go. Exhaustion gripped her unlike any other time she could remember. It was abnormal for her not to ask the numerous questions that should have been asked about her situation with the silent, attractive man beside her. But she didn’t care. She just didn’t care what Chet was doing with her or why. He found her and decided to take her away from her own sister’s life celebration and memorial and she complied without doing one correct thing. She hadn’t said goodbye to anyone. Not one person. She hadn’t checked on her grieving and distraught parents, nor her nephew. Her absence would be duly noted and perhaps someone would even worry about her. After all, she was the identical twin of the dead woman they were honoring. The woman her mother kept flinching over losing. Oh, yes, Chloe caught her mother staring at her when she wasn’t looking. She seemed to be mulling something over in her head. Was she wondering why Chloe was alive and not Ebony? Or possibly wishing it was just the reverse? Chloe had no basis for thinking that. Neither of her parents ever played favorites or treated them as a single unit. Twins. Sisters. But in Chloe’s heart of hearts, they were a single unit. More than anyone else could fully grasp. One heart. One face. One body.
Someone was touching her and gently lifting her from the car. Groggily, she wondered if she were dreaming, or hopelessly lost in the lunacy of her own grief. Maybe she’d never come back from it. In many ways, that seemed preferable to fully facing it again.
Her eyes popped open and she found herself in Chet Willapana’s arms as he lifted her from his car. She glanced up and forward. How the hell? They were at her house. He was carrying her into her house. How could he even lift her? She started to struggle and he locked his arms around her tighter. He held her garage door opener in his hand and calmly opened it.
“Did you take that from my car?”
“Yes.”
He carried her inside although she started struggling. He kept walking and gently set her on her unmade bed. The shades were blissfully shut to the brightness of the day, which made the room gloomy. It comforted her bruised and battered eyelids that were aching from so many burning tears flowing past them.
“What are you doing? How did you know where I lived? Where did you find my garage door opener? Why… what the fuck is this?” she rattled off, finally finding her missing voice.
She sat up and he suddenly placed his hands on her arms and pulled her upright so she was next to his warm, tight body. His mouth came down on hers before she could start talking again, and his lips swallowed her words. Startled to find his mouth on hers, she didn’t react at first. His hands scooped the back of her head while his mouth kept playing over hers.
Her head was too full of thoughts and dizzy already. Confusion addled her once functioning, young, and healthy mind. So many tears had fallen, they seemed to drown out her ability to make sense of anything. She could not comprehend what was happening or how it happened and yet, her hands crept upwards toward his neck. He dipped down further so he was closer to her height and let her reach his neck. Her arms encircled him as their mouths touched and she kept kissing him.
She moved up onto her knees so they were almost eye level and her mouth opened to him. She whimpered when his tongue collided with hers. Eagerly, she stuck her tongue into his mouth. Once, she was pretty smooth with her moves and kissing was as articulate as the rest of her. But not now. Not today. Emotions were torn raw, exposed, already out of control. They seemed to spill over into this. Whatever this was.
Making out like that on and on, Chloe tugged on his neck, pulling him towards her, not pushing away. What was this? She didn’t know him. Yet, she’d known him for three years. She never spoke to him. Or said more than hello really. And yet, this? Today? Today, of all the fucking days in the world.
Lying flat on her back on the rumpled bed, she pulled him over her, his knees touching the bed as his torso followed. Their mouths were still connected as he kept his chest off hers, and the rest of his body flopped over to her side. Her hands drifted upwards into the strands of his hair. In the daylight, it was shiny and black, and as smooth as silk. So unlike her own. Entangling her hands in it, she seemed to be petting him. But her thoughts failed to progress when his mouth engaged with hers. It was hot and wet. So demanding. There was nothing sloppy about his kisses. His hands left her shoulders and slowly skimmed down the sides of her. He outlined her body, reaching down towards the hem of the dress she’d worn today. The long, dark dress she chose to wear while burying her sister. Wearing a jacket over it, she carefully hid the side panels that exposed the skin of the otherwise modest black dress.
And as surreal as the day had been, now a pair of strong male hands were trailing down her thighs and resting on her bare knees. Holding her breath, her blood raced at his touch. Why was this happening? How was it happening? And why was she letting it go on?
Her thoughts, doubts, fears, and even guilt started to recede however, as his hand inched upwards on her inner thigh. Slowly and softly, his fingers pushed into her skin, then he rubbed her lightly as if he were skimming over the surface of water. Longing pooled in her core when he rubbed her flesh and goose bumps broke out all over when he so very gently touched her skin. All the while, his mouth remained engaged with hers. Oh, God. She moaned when his hand left her thigh and drifted to her waist where he slid his palm along the indentation of her curves. Moving upwards, he slipped it under her jacket and over the top of the V-neck of her satin dress.
His mouth left hers and she strained after him only to flop back on the pillow, embarrassed by her own eagerness. His lips touched the corner of her mouth, trailing down to her neck and her breath caught at his gentle, chaste touch, which was so unlike just a few moments ago.
Her chin tilted upwards and a soft sigh escaped her lips as her eyes half closed. His hands brushed over her breasts, confined beneath the tightened fabric of her dress. He drew back, pulling her torso against his as his mouth engaged hers again. His arms were long and surprisingly strong. He encircled her and held her for several minutes as the kissing heated up again. Then his hands moved upwards and he pulled on the blazer that covered her waist and kept her looking respectable. He tugged it off and his tongue once more dipped deeply into her mouth as she groaned. His hands slid over the skin exposed by the crisscross straps of material from her dress. His fingers kneaded her skin as they ran along it, convincing her he liked the way her skin felt.
Finding the short zipper that kept the dress cinched and ending just below her neck, he unzipped it and the sleeveless dress dropped down towards her waist. She wore nothing under it. It was so tight, it strapped in her breasts like a corset. The material was silk-lined and didn’t show anything. The first noise she heard was the one he made at the sight of her bare breasts popping free. She was large and full and his hands immediately cupped her as he pushed upwards, supporting their weight and admiring their amplitude. His mouth landed on hers harder, and his thumbs grazed over her dark nipples. She moaned in response as both of his hands pushed and kneaded the round, full globes that filled them.
He released her mouth and ducked down, and his mouth was hot and wet when it latched onto her nipple. His tongue came out to tease it. He tugged on it with his teeth and the ensuing sensations rocked her middle and made her sigh out loud.
Her hands became frenetic as she reached out towards him. She touched his waist and started pushing off the suit jacket he wore. She should have marveled at that. Chet, whom she had only ever seen in his black pants and the plain, white uniform shirt he wore, was sporting a sedate suit, entirely on par for the occasion, of course. She pushed his sleeves off as his mouth moved over hers. He had to release her when her hands pulled the fabric of his pin-striped, button-up shirt. Her hands shook and she let out a frustrated sigh, the tears almost bursting from her eyes. She could not get the stupidly small, ridiculous buttons to do what they were designed to do. She bit her lip, jumping when his hand rested gently on hers with an unexpected tenderness. He ended her useless ministrations and held her hand in his as she tipped her head upwards and their gazes met. His was dark, but unreadable. Trembling, she dropped her eyes back down. What was she doing? Why was she doing this? She should stop. Now. And for good.
But instead, she gripped the material of his shirt, making fists. Her head dropped forward against his chest, and she started to cry again. His arms encircled her, cocooning her against his chest as his hands rubbed circles of radiant comfort on her bare back. She felt his head bending forward as his lips touched the top of her forehead. The rest of her face was buried against him. She didn’t expect the gentleness of his gesture, the softness, nor the patience in his hold. Or letting her cry against him.
But not a word did he speak. And for some reason, his silence rendered her silent, even though she didn’t fully understand why they weren’t talking.
But her eyes burned so badly, it physically pained her to cry. She didn’t want to cry any longer. She didn’t want to feel that again. Not so soon. She couldn’t face it. She wasn’t strong enough. She leaned away from him and glanced upwards, looking confused as to why she was sharing her bed with Chet. But her confusion didn’t stop her from saying softly without crying, “Don’t stop.”
He stared at her for a long moment. Clenching his jaw, he gazed at her and it made her blush down to the roots of her hair. He was too much. So overpowering in his intensity, and yet she had no real relationship with him. That was more puzzling than anything else. Nodding as he pushed her back a few inches, his hands moved to his shirt and he undid a few buttons in rapid succession, making what she tried to do look so easy. Tugging it over his head, he threw it off. Her eyes blazed with desire for him. She nearly popped out with an exclamation. She didn’t expect this. He wasn’t a bulky guy, but slim and lean. Broad-shouldered, his toned muscles defined his chest and abdominal wall. Tattoos were scattered all over his skin, one on his shoulder that dropped down over his pec. Another on his side. He didn’t let her gander too long at his body, which she was lusting over.
He leaned forward and his mouth tugged on hers again so she closed her eyes, letting him hold her, and pressing her bare breasts against his chest. She moaned at the sensuously smooth feeling of skin-to-skin contact. On this day when she felt so vulnerable, and so raw, and so alone, his touch warmed something inside her she didn’t fully understand.
Then he pushed her back, and stayed upright as he grabbed her dress. He bunched it up at her hips, and started wiggling it off, loosening it from her bottom until he could slide it down her legs. When he finally released it from her, he threw it aside. That was fine. She saw where it landed in a crumpled pile. She planned to burn the dress anyway.
Chet returned her gaze. He was staring down at her body, now with only her white lace panties on. They were a dramatic and attractive contrast to her dark skin. His hand rubbed her thigh. It was almost with reverence, like he was taking a deep breath to prepare himself to touch her. Was he working up the courage to do just that? Huh? What? Had he thought about this before? With her? She had no idea. And it scared her to indulge such a concept so she shifted her thighs and his gaze popped back up to hers.
He leaned against her, kissing her as his body slid over hers once more. She couldn’t get enough of having him so near her. The warmth, energy, and body heat soothed something inside her. Something that was upset and hurting so badly and most of all, so scared. She was so scared about life now. And living. She worried about what could happen next. Either to her or to those she loved. She dreaded facing tomorrow. How could she? How could she face the coming week? Or month? Or the rest of her life? How could she survive the rest of her life without Ebony? Her best friend, her other half, her identical twin self. How could she go on?
As her thoughts overwhelmed her, tears again filled her eyes and fell even while her mouth was enjoying Chet’s. This time, it was a reaction to grief. No sounds, just tears slipping from her eyes. Her eyes blinked open and she was startled when his lips left hers to touch one side of her face. He kissed her trail of tears, doing it two more times before gently wiping her eyes. His tender gesture broke through something that was tying knots in her chest. She sniffed and a cry escaped her mouth as her arms suddenly wrapped around him, and she pulled him closer to her. It seemed frantic, as if by bringing him closer he could somehow fill all the hollow emptiness inside her.
His response was fierce, and his arms encircled her tightly as their mouths mashed together, never mind all the tears streaking down her face. Chloe felt so out of sorts and yet somehow, his presence and the way he cradled her like a frightened child made it tolerable. Almost. Splaying her knees, she moved her hips so he could settle more tightly and fully against her. He grew hard and Chloe could feel it through his pants. She moved her bottom, rubbing against him. She needed something and didn’t know what. But she needed it badly. She responded to every touch, kiss, and caress he initiated, which strangely enough, seemed to be what she needed most.
Her hands slipped around to the front of him, sliding down until she undid his zipper. The fabric of the black trousers loosened and there he was. Shoving the trousers slightly down, he lifted his hips while his left hand helped her tug his pants off. Eventually, he had to let her go. He turned and disposed of the pants at the side of the bed, halting only long enough to remove his wallet and pull out a condom.
Chloe couldn’t remember the last time she’d used one of those. During her last relationship of several years, they used alternate forms of birth control. Then it fizzled, shortly after her sister disappeared the first time. It was the only time really, but in many ways, the subsequent events made it feel like it happened twice for her. It felt just as raw today, and for the last nine days as it had three and a half years ago.
Chet turned back towards her and her interest was finally centered on what he was doing. Miraculously, her tears dried up, which was quite an accomplishment. He crawled up towards her, fully naked this time. His hands gripped the sides of her panties and he tugged them down. She lifted her butt and legs as he slid them off her in a slow, torturous journey. His fingertips glided over her skin, so soft and sensual, and so there but almost not. His mouth touched the top of her thigh, just above her knee. She let out a sigh of contentment when his lips touched her skin. It felt so respectful, reverent. That confused her again. What was this?
Not anything she ever thought about, not even once. But to Chloe, it felt like he was exactly what she needed right then.
His mouth moved upwards, warming her core before the wetness of anticipation made her heart pump hard and her blood rush. She whimpered her longing for him. He lifted his mouth off her thigh and came up towards her head again. She had to bite her lip to hold back an exclamation of surprise. But when he kissed her again and his hands touched her breasts as he tugged and tweaked her nipples, she was literally squirming this way and that in eager response. She gripped him tighter to her and tried to hurry him along.
Flinging her head back, she trembled as his hands trailed down her bare skin along the sides of her stomach until he cupped her. Now she was sopping wet for him. His fingers slid along her opening, going back and forth, as if he were washing in her juices. She lifted her hips up to his touch and her mouth popped open with a groan of sensual longing. His fingers found her tight nub and her blood churned and boiled as her thoughts scattered. His fingers were manipulating her clit and he dunked them deeply inside her intermittently. Her knees fell open and she pushed up against his hand. She ached for more and wanted it harder as her body yearned to feel something good. Her brain had finally checked out for the day and her grief, along with her paralyzing thoughts and fears, floated up into a kind of peaceful suspension. His palm pressed against her, responding to the nonverbal message her body shouted: harder, faster, and more.
She tossed her head back and forth and cried out when her entire body exploded into a rainbow of flashing colors. She fell flat, spent, and her knees fell apart while her body decompressed. Blinking in shock and the afterglow of sheer pleasure, she thought, Holy shit. That was intense. It felt good. Great. Amazing. She needed to go back there. After a day, or a week, or so many years, really, of sadness, grief, pain, and aching for someone who wasn’t still alive, for a few moments, Chloe was free of that world and its constraints. She wasn’t ready to return to it yet. Thankfully, his fingers, which were now rather wet, moved upwards and he grasped her sensitive nipples again. She grabbed his hand and brought it to her mouth, sucking on his fingers, and holding her gaze on his. The message was clear. Don’t stop. Her eyes were heavy with insatiable hunger. Want. And desire.
He leaned over, kissing her and moving his body on top of hers. She trembled with relief. His gaze penetrated hers and she gulped under his scrutiny. Chet never gave much away by his mannerisms, facial expressions or body language, but under these circumstances? Chloe couldn’t begin to fathom what he was thinking or feeling or how he reacted to anything, let alone… this. Sex. Between them, an employer and an employee. His driving stare was intimidating, but Chloe restrained a groan of dismay as she tried to analyze how this could be.
His delicious mouth lowered and he kissed her again. This time, it was soft and lingering, just his lips barely touching hers. She sighed at the delicate, languid sensation.
Her arms crept around his neck and she tugged him closer. Her lips began kissing his mouth, the side of it and his cheek. He relaxed at her touch and it filled her with a sense of power and loving tenderness. She knew enough about Chet now that any little sign from him meant something really big. No matter how small it was, any gesture or interaction was indicative of so much more. She felt him growing hot and hard before he prodded the side of her leg. She twisted her lower half towards him, eagerly seeking him.
Whimpering with desire, she ground her hips towards him. “Please…”
He instantly released her and she heard the distinctive crinkling sound of the condom being opened before he made quick work of putting it on. He tugged her back into his arms as she opened her legs. In one swift motion, she lifted her hips up towards him as he pushed inside her and slid in very deep. It was so easy and slick as her entire vagina was lubed and ready for him. She gasped when he filled her. Leaning over her, he stared into her eyes and stayed there for a long, profound moment. Her arms crept around his neck again and he lifted his hips and slid back inside her, repeating it over and over again. He started slow, and let the tempo build gradually.
Each stroke was slow and deep, but in the end, they both abandoned any sense of refinement or finesse. Their bodies responded as fast and hard as they could with the other. Sweat broke out over Chloe’s entire body and her eyes closed. She was happily lost in the alternate reality. Her pleasure lifted her so high, it took away most of the pain and hurt. When his mouth suddenly and quite savagely conquered hers, it clearly reflected how their bodies were joined. Her heart sped up and chanted yes, yes, yes. Fresh new sensations that were so good, hot, and sizzling suddenly ruled her body. They energized her. She finally pried her lips from his and tilted her head back before screaming as an unbelievable orgasm rocked through her core. She reacted so fiercely, her fingernails dug into his back as she welcomed all the gripping sensations that shot out of her limbs.
Her unapologetic release was followed by him and his body jerked as he pushed harder inside her. He seemed to bury himself so deeply into her, he would never come out again. He sucked in a deep breath without a sound. She was lost, her head was spinning, and her aching eyes closed. For the first time in a long while, a total sense of peace filled her body, flooding into her limbs and making her heart swell with joy.