“I don’t love him. I don’t love Tom anymore.” Saying the words sounded freeing as if I’d slipped out of the bonds that had held me down for the last few weeks.

“Shouldn’t you sound a little happier than that?” Eilesh asked.

We’d been on the phone now for a few minutes. She’d called every chance she got since the last time I’d spoken to Tom.

I sighed and pressed the phone to my ear while I shuffled around on my chair.

“Its left me bitter, Eilesh. The whole thing. I feel like a fool.”

“I understand. I do, and I wish that I could do something to make you feel better.” Her voice sounded weak.

“Talking to you helps.”

“I still wish I could do more. Summer, it’s all such a mess. I can’t begin to understand how you must feel.”

I couldn’t quite begin to describe it. And, the situation was worsened by Tom’s continuous calls. He’d called every other day for the last two and a half weeks.

I’d taken the plunge and decided to change my number tomorrow. The one I had, had been with me for the last six years. I knew it off by heart and it had just become a part of me. I didn’t want to have to resort to changing it but I didn’t know how much I could take of his constant calls which were now bordering on harassment.

I wasn’t sure who in their right mind would expect to not only have forgiveness, but for me to take him back.

Really?

“I just want to stop feeling bitter.”

“Would that include giving more thought to Alex?” Curiosity filled her voice.

God, this really was such a mess because I was so scared of the feelings I’d developed for Alex that I’d avoided him as best as I could.

For two and a half weeks the poor guy had done all the he could to see if I was okay, help me in whatever way he could, or just talk to me but I just kept myself to myself.

“I shouldn’t.”

“Shouldn’t? That sounds vague, and full of possibility.” Her soft chuckle filled the line.

Realistically, I should have kept the focus on my career. Working at Sullivan’s was the only step I’d made so far in the right direction.

But something had happened to me in the last few weeks that I couldn’t overlook.

I felt terrible that day when I found out that Becca was pregnant, and that Tom had cheated on me for years.

I felt like I was nothing, not important enough to be valued, and like something must have been wrong with me for him to have treated me that way.

But then Alex came home and called me angel. How many times had he called me that since I’d met him?

More times than I counted, and I’d never asked why until that night.

Hearing him describe me as perfect and flawless reached into my soul and awakened something that I didn’t know existed. He’d pried open my closed heart that I was trying so hard to keep from breaking any more than it had.

That was the part that scared me, and what I was afraid to feel. All these weeks I’d sensed it coming and wanted to hold back.

“I shouldn’t.” I repeated, talking more to myself than to her.

“Why?” Eilesh’s voice brought me out of my thoughts. “Why shouldn’t you? He’s not Tom. I understand that you’re hurt and bitter about what’s happened, but does that mean you should make yourself more miserable. The man is practically throwing himself at you. God, can’t you just use him for sex?” She laughed.

I had to laugh too. “Right, Eilesh, I’m supposed to use my one night stand guy who happens to be my boss for sex.”

If that didn’t sound like digging a hole for myself I didn’t know what did. Add the fact that I liked him, and he knew it was a time bomb.

“He’s not though. He’s not a one night stand. A one night stand doesn’t go looking for you to make sure your safe, spoils you rotten, flies you around in his plane, and calls you his angel.”

I pressed my lips together and held my breath.

I hadn’t really thought about him in that way, or maybe it was more like I was trying not to for fear that I would see more of what I wanted and indulge on the desire I felt when I was with him.

“Shall I continue?” Eilesh asked with another giggle knowing she’d made a good point.

“No, don’t. Eilesh, I don’t want to like him too much. Fun is fun, but feeling is different.”

“I totally get that, and I know you don’t want to risk heartbreak but that doesn’t mean you have to walk on egg shells for the rest of your life avoiding anyone you may feel for.”

Subconsciously, that was actually the plan.

“I could try.” I sighed and hugged my knees to my chest.

“Summer, you’re a smart girl, and I’m your friend. You can’t live like that. It’s not a good way to be. You like him. There’s nothing wrong with exploring that and becoming closer.”

“Being closer changes everything.” It felt stupid to say that since Alex and I had gotten as close as we could get. “And then there’s Ashfords.” That had been at the back of my mind, but very much there.

“That is so not even something you should be worried about. Plus, I don’t think he’d care about that. I was concerned in the beginning, but now that you guys are close it’s different. It’s just work. Nothing more, and not anything to worry about.”

I heard the front door open and close. Alex was home.

It was nearly eight. He’d been busy all week which was perfect for my avoidance tactics but he still came in to check on me before going to bed.

My eyes darted towards the door and I moved the phone slightly away from my ear so I could listen out better.

“He’s back.” I muttered.

“Good. I’ll dash then.”

I could hear him coming up the stairs, then his footsteps sounded near the door.

“See you tomorrow for lunch?”

“Yes, let’s try that new pizza place. They do a great garlic and herb base.”

Sounded good.

“Sure.”

“Oh, Summer. Remember what I said. Also I’ll just highlight that most women would sign up to be in your shoes right now. I mean the part about living with an uber gorgeous man who’s begging you to be his.”

I sighed at that, unable to argue. “Noted, Eilesh.

Alex knocked on the door.

“Stay strong, and remember safe sex.” She giggled and hung up before I could answer. That little minx knew exactly what to do to shock me. I felt my damn cheeks turn red.

“It’s open.” I called out and twisted around in my chair to look at him as he opened the door.

He’d had his beard trimmed and his hair looked sharp like he was going out.

His eyes sparkled when he looked over at me and he came inside.

“I’m ordering a pizza, I just thought I’d check to see if you ate.” He smiled.

“I’m okay, I’ve eaten.” I had a sandwich for dinner and didn’t feel like anything else. Lately my appetite had been non-existent.

“What did you eat?” he asked, the smile toning down.

“Fish.” I’d had a tuna sandwich.

“Fish doesn’t fill you up.” He folded his arms.

“And pizza is unhealthy.” I threw back.

“Okay, I’ll make you a vegetable stir fry then.”

“I’m not hungry, Alex.”

He sighed and furrowed his brows.

I’d turned down every opportunity to hang out with him, giving one excuse or another. Last week I thought the best excuse ever was telling him it was the time of the month and I had cramps. Tom used to practically flee from me during those times.

However, Mr. Alex surprised the absolute hell out of me by going out into the night –past nine o’clock –to the drug store and brought every kind of thing possible that would make me feel better. A hot water bottle covered with pink fur, Tylenol, lavender drops and all of this other herbal stuff that smelled amazing.

And he didn’t stop there, he bought me a basket of chocolate and then gave me the next day off work.

He marched over to the window, grabbed one of the little chairs and brought it over to sit down in front of me. Alex then leaned forward and stared at me.

“You’ve been avoiding me. Why?”

Straight to the point as usual.

“I haven’t.” I lied.

“Bullshit. You’re avoiding me. Summer, I barely even see you at work. And when I do see you it’s for like five minutes a day.”

Five minutes was all I could take. Any longer and I’d start thinking. And feeling.

I couldn’t handle that magnetic pull I felt from him. It was too much and exactly like holding opposite ends of a damn magnet together.

“I’m busy. You know how much work comes in for you each day and there’s all the files.” The paperwork for each case was enormous and it didn’t help that he specialized in so many areas either, because I had to order in separate drawers to keep it all organized. I didn’t know how his previous PA kept everything together.

“The files.”

“Yes, the files. Maybe if you weren’t so busy we’d see more of each other. Anyway, I should sleep I have to get to work early tomorrow.”

He looked truly annoyed when I said that. Truly annoyed, and it made me feel bad.

“Go to dinner with me tomorrow night.” He said quickly.

My breathing stilled then sped up again making my pulse race.

Dinner meant spending time together.

Every time I spent time with this man, I ended up paralyzed and left at his mercy. The first night I slept with him. Then every time after that I ended up locked in his embrace kissing him.

“I’m busy.”

“Busy doing what?”

Think fast. “Sorting out paperwork.”

He grimaced. “Jesus, I can’t believe you’d first of all lie to me, then not have the decency to come up with something better than paperwork. Fuck the paperwork Summer, let’s go to dinner.”

“What kind of dinner is this?” This was stupid. I was being stupid and annoying. I felt like strangling me, or at the very least slapping myself.

“I’m asking you out on a date, a dinner date where we eat food. Italian, you said you like Italian food. I’ll take you to an Italian restaurant.”

My cheeks flushed. That did sound perfect, and I wanted to say yes, but I wasn’t sure if I could.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.

“I’m still waiting, Summer, my offer is still there. It’s been weeks.” He held my gaze. “I know something’s up and you don’t want to talk about it, so I’ve been purposely holding off. You could at least have dinner with me.”

“Maybe some other time.”

In typical Alex style he didn’t take no for an answer, and had to do something outlandish.

He slid down to his knees and took hold of my thighs. I had on a pair of denim shorts that frayed around the edges. He pushed the material up and tried to touch as much of my leg as possible.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m begging and touching.” He smiled up at me.

I laughed at the pleading face he made. “Alex, you are so crazy.”

“No. Just doing what’s necessary, and taking the chance to touch you. God, you smell so good.” He ran his fingers along my bare thighs making my skin tingle at his touch. Then he rested his head in my lap.

My nipples hardened as I watched him. His eyes turned darker to that liquid silver making me see exactly what he felt.

He was turned on, as much as I was.

His fingers ran up close to where my shorts stopped and he lingered there, just at the edge of my inner thighs.

“I remember here.” He stated referring to my skin. “And here.” With his index finger he traced a line up and over my center making me instantly wet.

“Alex.” This was already too much.

“Summer.” He gave me a sexy, mischievous smile I found difficult to resist. “I’m still waiting to explore your limits, Summer.”

The same moment that I rested my hands on his shoulders he took hold of my waist and swooped me up.

I squealed and started laughing.

Alex sat back down in his chair and placed me on his lap, locking me there so I wouldn’t move.

“I’m done talking about work, and playing boss and PA.”

“But that’s what we are.” I smiled as he leaned in and kissed my neck.

“No baby, we were whatever we were first.”

“What was that?” Saying one night stand didn’t seem right, especially since Eilesh pointed out all the ways he wasn’t.

“Still waiting to find out. Accept my offer. How long are you going to do this?”

“What?”

“Pretend you don’t want me. Come here.” He crooked his finger and beckoned me closer for a kiss. “Kiss me and clear your mind of everything else.”

That sounded like heaven. A kiss and a clear mind.

I moved in to his lips that captured mine and devoured me.

I’d forgotten how good he was at this. Like he was born to do it. It felt like it was a lifetime ago since we did this and I could have kicked myself for allowing Tom to stop me from doing this every day.

We skipped past the usual teasing and got straight to tasting each other. He sucked on my tongue sending me into oblivion and groaned when I did the same to him.

Hearing that deep masculine groan ripple from deep within his chest spoke to my inner needs too.

Sliding his hand up my waist he went up to cup my left breast and squeezed.

“Show me.” He breathed against my lips.

“What?”

With his finger going over my nipples, running backwards and forwards I knew exactly what he meant.

“These.” He pointed to my breasts. “I’ve been good. I deserve to see.” His eyes turned dark with desire as he watched me with that predatory look.

Controlled by the force he held over me, I undid the buttons on my top and allowed the fabric to fall open exposing my bra. His eyes widened and fixed on my breasts waiting with anticipation and raw hunger.

A low growl rumbled from deep within his chest when I snapped open the clasp holding my bra together and my breasts spilled out, bobbing and swaying as I moved.

“God.” He groaned. “Beautiful and perfect.” He traced the heft of my breasts leaving me feeling like I was on fire, but also sending shivers throughout my body. The contrast was intriguing.

He pulled me closer so I could feel the bulge of his erection pressing into my center and smiled, knowing I could feel him.

My whole body responded to his eager touch as he molded and shaped my breasts , stroking the nipples with his thumb.

As he took my left nipple into his mouth, working the tips to life, his hand skated down my back pressing me deeper into his mouth. I gasped and moaned deep releasing my own desire and the restraint I placed on myself.

I relished him, everything about him. The clean scent of fresh pine that clung to him, his skin on mine, his desire for me, his need for me.

It fueled mine for him.

My mind drifted as he continued to suck, lulling me away from reality but then the buzz of my phone brought me back. It cut into the heated moment and dragged me back to what I tried to escape.

He released me and looked at my phone on the desk next to us. I looked too and froze when I saw Tom’s name flash up on the screen.

Alex looked at me, a question in his eyes that intensified when he saw that I didn’t answer the phone.

I allowed it to buzz on and slid off his lap so I could fix my clothes back on.

It buzzed on the desk filling the silence between us, and like every other time since I spoke to Tom I allowed it to ring out.

My eyes met Alex’s when the noise stopped.

“Who’s Tom?”

I shook my head deciding I didn’t want to talk about Tom.

“Is that him? Is Tom your ex?” Bold silver eyes bore into me, heated with the blaze of anger. “Tell me Summer.”

“Yes.” My voice sounded fragile.

“Why’s he calling?” Anger grew in his eyes.

“He wants me back.”

“You spoke to him?”

“Alex, I can’t do this now.” I couldn’t talk about it.

“Are you going back to him?” Something else besides the anger flashed in his eyes. It looked like fear.

“No.” I replied. “I’m not.”

“Do you… do you still love him?”

I shook my head. “No.” That was an answer I could give with ease.

He straightened up at the same time the phone started ringing again.

Shock consumed me when he picked it up and answered it.

“What are you…” I attempted but stopped mid-sentence when Alex started talking to Tom.

“Hello Tom, this is Alex. You need to stop calling Summer. Now. If you don’t, you’ll have me to deal with.”

I brought my hands up to my cheeks.

Alex stood up looking enraged. I wondered what Tom’s response was and what he was saying now.

“Don’t fuck with me, don’t do it!” Alex balked down the phone. My breathing stilled as I continued to look on in utter disbelief. “I’m not a man to be played with. I don’t give a shit about you being any fucking long term boyfriend. I would be ashamed to call myself that if I cheated on my girl constantly. Should have kept your dick under control. Don’t call her ever again.” He hung up and whirled around to face me, nostrils flared and eyes still wide with rage.

I’d never had anyone stand up for me before. Never, and definitely not like that.

He walked over to me an stopped a breath away.

“I’m sorry I don’t usually lose it like that, and I don’t like talking like that in front of you. I –”

“Thank you.” I cut in. “Thank you.”

It was something towards justice for me that I could take from this disaster.

“You’re welcome. Why didn’t you tell me you spoke to him?”

“It’s hard to talk.”

“Summer, are you sure you don’t still love him?”

“I don’t.” That was the truth. “I’m hurt. I’m deeply hurt because I can’t believe that someone I knew for so long, and trusted, could treat me the way he did.”

Tom had disgusted me with his actions. All I wanted now was for him to leave me alone and allow me to move on.

Alex looked like he wanted me to elaborate so I did.

“Tom called a few weeks ago to tell me the wedding was off, and that he proposed to my friend because she’s pregnant. He thought telling me that he felt he was doing the wrong thing would make me take him back.”

“I see.” He sympathized. “That is truly messed up and makes me feel sick. How long were you with him?” Alex looked curious.

“Eleven years.” It sounded so strange to say because it really was a long time.

Alex looked surprised by that, and a little thrown. “That’s a really long time.

“We met in high school. I was seventeen and he was all I ever knew.”

“All you ever knew?” He asked with narrowed eyes. It was only then that I realized what I said and my whole body flushed with embarrassment. “He was the only man you’d ever been with?” he asked like it was so hard to believe.

“And …you.”

He blinked several times, opened his mouth to speak but closed it again.

“Me?” He said more to himself than me.

“It’s not a big deal. I just…”

“It’s a big deal.” He held my gaze for a few seconds before continuing. “I would never hurt you the way he has.”

“No?” I didn’t know how he could say that.

“No.”

“You can’t know that.”

“I do,” he smiled.

“How?”

“Because Tom was an idiot, and he couldn’t have wanted you more than me. I want you in every way that a man could want a woman, and I won’t lie and tell you otherwise.”

I wasn’t sure if my brain could work to answer him.

“Forget him. Can you do that?” He added.

“I already have.”

“Good.” A slow smile smoothed along his lips. “My offer is still on the table Summer… just waiting. You might want to give me an answer. No more of this torture and resistance.” His eyes turned that liquid silver. “Just be mine again.”

His.

I felt like I already was.

He walked up to me and planted a kiss on my forehead, lingering there for a few seconds with his lips pressed to my skin.

He then backed away. As he did, the fog clear from my mind, and a flicker of anticipation dance through me.

I didn’t want to resist anymore and I didn’t want to be miserable.

That was last year’s story.

My career was being taken care of, so that just left me.

Forget Tom?

Absolutely, and definitely for a man who wanted me to be his.

A new found determination filled me, awakening the part of me that I’d restrained for far too long.

It awakened and told me that I wanted to be his too, and I could no longer resist the irresistible.