February 17, 1944
Dear Gina,
I was so happy to hear from you and to learn that Mac is well and safe, even if he’s not writing you the newsy letters you’d prefer. He’s wise. I doubt any news he has from over there is news you would really want to hear. Yes, your life does sound a tad routine, but you are fortunate. Mine is anything but.
Thank you for asking about my little one. No, he hasn’t yet moved, but I think that’s normal, and he’s definitely growing. When I take my girdle off at night, it’s a great relief! I do love him. He and I are in this crazy mess of a life together.
Yesterday, Henry and I went once again to see the house he’s having built for us. Oh, Gina, I do hope you get to visit us there. It’s going to be truly lovely. It’s going up so quickly now! The exterior walls are in place and I can see how enormous it’s going to be. Plenty of room for Auntie Gina! It’s set far back from the street and surrounded by trees on three sides. Although right now the front yard is nothing more than a sea of dirt and mud, I can picture how it will look covered in grass. A perfect place for my little one to play.
We walked around inside. Right now there are only beams and posts and the wonderful scent of wood, but with a little imagination I could see what it will be like. We went through room after room. The second story is not yet up, but Henry pointed out where the rooms would be and we figured out which one will be the nursery.
No, we are still not “close,” as you put it. Quite honestly, that’s all right with me for now. I’m certain it must be the baby and once he or she is born, Henry will again become the passionate man he was in the hotel in Washington. I hope so, because I don’t want my son or daughter to be an only child as I was.
I think Henry is a good man but he definitely thinks he’s the boss in our household. He even bosses his mother around, and that is not an easy thing to do! He doesn’t want me to be a nurse (or have any sort of occupation at all, actually), but without him knowing, I’ve applied to take the licensing exam. I’m not going to tell him until I receive the notification that I can take it (I hope I’m the one to get the mail that day!). I’ve worked hard for this and I’m going to get that license!
And now, dear friend, I hesitate to tell you something I did, but if I can’t tell you, who can I tell? You are going to think I’ve lost my mind, but I’ve been in touch with my mother! I visited a medium. Now, I don’t believe in mediums or psychics or spiritualists any more than you do … or at least I didn’t. But on a whim, I went to see him and, Gina, I can’t explain how, but he knew my mother’s name. He spoke to her and told me she’s fine. I know this sounds crazy, but whether he is a charlatan or not, he made me feel better. He’s the nicest person I’ve met since moving to Hickory. I’d forgotten how wonderful it feels to be treated with kindness. Are you ready to send the men in the white coats for me? Some days I DO wonder if I’m losing my mind here. I am definitely losing the tough, self-confident girl I’ve always fancied myself to be. I hope that girl comes back soon.
Here is the next thing that will have you sending the men in the white coats after me: I think I’m being followed. I realized that I had no stamps for this letter, so I went downstairs to the library to see if Henry might have some in his desk. I’ve never looked in his desk before and I felt a little devilish peering in the various drawers, but none of them was locked, so fair game. I hadn’t realized what an orderly man I married! All his files are neatly labeled. Unpaid bills are carefully clipped together. Business cards are neatly stacked. The wide middle drawer held several large empty manila envelopes, each of them bearing a blank white address label perfectly centered, as if he’d taken careful measurements before gluing the label in place. But no stamps anywhere and I knew I would have to go into town to the post office.
Henry usually insists I take a cab wherever I go, but today was very warm here for February and I decided to walk into town. It’s not terribly far. I’d barely left the house when I became aware of a police car slowly passing me on the street, driving in the same direction I was walking. I didn’t think much of it. Oakwood is a wealthy neighborhood and I supposed the police keep a careful eye on it. But two blocks later, the car passed me again at a snail’s pace. For a while, it actually seemed to drive at the same pace I was walking. I was nearly to town when it crept by me for a third time. This time, I got a good look at the policeman behind the wheel. He was young, probably about my age, with short, sandy-colored hair beneath his police hat. When our eyes met, he sped up. It was quite disconcerting! I’d reached the post office by then and went inside to buy stamps for both Henry and myself.
Walking home, I found myself watching for the police car, but the officer must have moved on to another part of town and I had a good laugh over my paranoia. Why would a police car be following me? Still, I can’t shake the feeling that it was.
I know you’re thinking that Hickory is making me lose my mind. I wonder that myself sometimes. You are right, though. I am lucky to have married Henry. When I feel sad or lonely in this marriage, I will remind myself that I’m married to an excellent provider. Our child will grow up in a beautiful house and he or she will want for nothing. My sweet baby will have a happy life and that’s what’s most important.
I pray for you and Mac every night, Gina. I follow the news each day and hope the Allies are planning something big. Maybe something that will finally put an end to this terrible war. I pray that Mac remains safe through it all and comes home to you very soon.
With love,
Tess