I left very early the first morning of the exam. I dressed as quietly as I could and tiptoed out of the house after leaving a hastily scribbled note for Henry on the night table. I’d barely slept and only hoped I would be able to stay awake for the examination.
Dear Henry,
Imagine working for years on a beautiful design for a dining room suite, and it’s finally perfected and ready to be taken to market. Before you can do that, the furniture must be inspected for craftsmanship, but you can’t get an appointment with the inspector. All your hard work stands in the balance. No one can see this beautiful thing you’ve created because you can’t accomplish this one final step.
All right, maybe this is an awkward analogy but it’s the best I can do at this early hour. I have to take that exam, Henry. I’ve worked hard to get to this point and I am determined to take this final step and be able to call myself a registered nurse. I know that means nothing to you, but it means everything to me.
I’m taking the train to Winston-Salem and I have reservations at a hotel. I will try to call you at the factory when I arrive. I’ll be perfectly safe and will return on Thursday.
Fondly,
Tess
Outside, the wind nearly knocked me off my feet and I was glad to find the cab already waiting for me in front of the house. The driver let me off at the train station and I joined a few men on the platform. They all appeared to be wearing business suits beneath their long black wool coats and I felt out of place—I was certainly the only person on the platform with knitting in her suitcase. I ignored their curious gazes as I shivered in my own coat, my handbag and the exam handbook cradled in my arms.
The train was late and that only made me more nervous. What if I didn’t make it to the exam site on time? Would they still let me in?
“Tess!”
I turned to see Henry rushing toward me from the parking lot. Oh no. I had the feeling my fellow passengers were going to witness a scene. I stood my ground as though my shoes were encased in concrete.
Henry reached me and wrapped his good hand around my arm. He leaned close to my ear. “Why didn’t you tell me you were doing this?” he asked, his voice low enough that only I could hear him.
“You would have tried to stop me,” I said, attempting to wrench my arm from his grip without being too obvious about it. “Please, Henry. Let me go. I have to do this.”
He shook his head. “You’re not getting on a train,” he said. “I won’t allow it. Not in your condition.” He bent over and picked up my suitcase, but I didn’t budge. “I’ll drive you,” he said. “Come on.”
I thought I must have misunderstood him. “You’ll drive me? Where?”
“It’s in Winston-Salem, right?”
“You’ll…” I could hear the train whistle as it approached the station and wondered if I should snatch my suitcase away from him and run to board the train.
“I’ll take you, Tess,” he said earnestly. “I have the gas. We can cancel your hotel reservation and stay someplace very nice, all right? You’ll take your exam, and you damn well better pass it after all this nonsense.” He smiled at me, that smile I so rarely saw.
I didn’t know whether to trust him, his change of heart was so unexpected. My scribbled note must have had more of an impact than I imagined. I watched the businessmen board the train without me, and Henry reached for my gloved hand.
“Come on,” he said again. “What time do you need to be in Winston-Salem?”
“The exam starts at ten,” I said, falling into step next to him.
“Then we’d better hustle, hadn’t we?”
We walked quickly to his car and I fully expected him to drive out of the parking lot and head directly for home, but he turned in the opposite direction from Oakwood, and when he pulled onto Route 64, I put my hand to my mouth, stunned.
“You’re really taking me to Winston-Salem?” I asked.
He kept his eyes on the road and it was a moment before he spoke again. “I want you to be happy, Tess,” he said, his hands tight on the wheel. “I know you had other plans for your life. I know living … in this situation … has been challenging for you.” He gave a little shrug. “I also know that I’m not the best husband in the world. I work all the time. I have enormous responsibility, running the business, and it leaves little time for you. So if this will make you happy, I’ll help you. But”—he glanced at me—“it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want you to work, as a nurse or anything else. You can have the satisfaction of your degree or license or whatever you—”
“License.” I grinned. I felt ridiculously happy.
“You can have the satisfaction of having earned your license, but what I ask of you is that you devote yourself to our child. Our family. Not a job.”
I nodded. I was so touched that he was taking me to Winston-Salem that I would agree to anything, at least for now. I smiled to myself. I had a good, kind, and forgiving husband.
I moved closer to him, leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you so much for this,” I said, and I opened my handbook to study.
* * *
The exam was hard, but I’d anticipated that. What I hadn’t anticipated was the discomfort of sitting in one place hour after hour while pregnant. I prayed for the bathroom breaks.
Henry spent most of the daytime hours on the phone handling factory business long distance. At night, our relationship was the same as it always was, with each of us in our separate beds, reading. I’d wondered if, in a hotel room without his mother and sister nearby, he might be a bit more amorous, but no. I had to accept the fact that, at least while I was pregnant, Henry was not interested in a physical relationship with me. Not that I was particularly longing for one with him.
By the end of the three days, I was both exhausted and euphoric, certain that I’d passed. Even Henry seemed to catch my mood and he took me to his favorite Winston-Salem restaurant to celebrate before we headed for home in the dark.
“We are going to lie to my mother and sister,” he said, when we were about halfway to Hickory.
“About the last three days?”
“Yes. I told Mama this was a business trip and you decided to come with me at the last minute.”
“That’s fine,” I said. I liked that we shared a secret from Ruth. “What did I do all day while you worked?”
“Shopped?” he suggested. “Isn’t that what girls do?”
“I was never one of those girls, Henry,” I said. “And I never will be.”
He looked over at me and although there was little light in the car, I saw him smile. He reached across the seat to lightly touch my cheek.
“How did I ever get tangled up with the likes of you?” he asked.