In my rush to leave the house I had left my bag and purse, but I couldn’t go back. What if Dad was conscious? What if he wasn’t? I jogged along our street. The bright red postbox where I had posted applications to universities I didn’t want to go to; Mrs Phillips’s bungalow – she had always given me an apple as I walked past on my way to school; the cherry tree that coated the pavements with a pale pink blossom, obscuring my chalked out hopscotch. Dad would never forgive me, neither would Mum once she knew. It looked like his leg was broken, sticking out at one of the odd angles we’d had to learn for GCSE maths that I thought I would never come across again. It would be incredibly painful when he woke. I slowed, thought I should go back, at least to call for help, sit with him until the ambulance arrived, but then Mum would know about the baby, and the inevitable tears, the guilt I felt over Dad’s accident, might cloud my judgement. They might force me into an abortion just as they forced me onto a degree course I never wanted to do. It was best this way; but still my sense of right and wrong raged until the edges were blurred and I didn’t know what the right thing was any more. I stood on the corner, lungs sucking in air. My palms hot and tingling as though they could still feel Dad’s chest beneath them, the beating of his heart, before I pushed and he lay broken and bleeding on the floor. Mum would be home any minute; it wasn’t like he would lie there for hours, in pain and alone, but I had never felt so conflicted before. I lay my hands over the baby I could not yet feel, Jake’s baby, and I carried on running.

By the time I reached Jake’s house there was a stitch jabbing my side and, after I had banged on the door, I pressed both hands against my ribs trying to ease it.

‘Hello, Kat love. Are you okay?’ Nancy looked concerned. ‘Of course you’re not. Come in.’

In the lounge we sat on the sofa and I longed to pound upstairs and throw myself into Jake’s arms but I couldn’t stop trembling, didn’t think my legs would make it. Nancy handed me a tissue, and I wiped my eyes, blew my nose.

‘What’s happened?’ Nancy took my hands in hers. ‘Between you and Lisa. It breaks my heart you’ve fallen out. Tell me everything.’

‘It’s not Lisa I’m crying about.’ I fell silent. Where would I even start to tell her what’s wrong?

‘Whatever it is, I can help.’

I longed to tell her I was carrying her grandchild, but she couldn’t be the first person I told.

‘Is Jake here?’

‘No. He’s gone to The Three Fishes with Lisa.’

I stood. ‘I’m going to find him.’

‘I’d give you a lift but he took my car.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ I said, but I could see by the concern in her eyes she didn’t believe the words any more than I did.

‘Jake.’ My voice was too loud as I called across the wine bar. Heads swivelled but I didn’t care my clothes were crumpled, my face streaked with tears. I flung myself into his arms.

‘Do you mind? I’m supposed to be having a night out with my brother!’ Lisa kept her voice light, as though she was joking, but her tone didn’t quite coat the resentment festering underneath her words.

Stung, I tugged at Jake’s hand. Now was not the time to start to repair my relationship with Lisa, although I wanted to. ‘We have to go.’

‘I don’t think so.’ Lisa sidestepped so she was standing between us and the door. ‘The world doesn’t revolve around you, Kat.’

‘I know but…’ The image of Dad, lying like a rag doll at the bottom of the stairs, was burned onto my conscience but I couldn’t say what I had done in public. ‘I need to talk to Jake, in private.’

‘Private? I’m your best friend, or have you forgotten? But then you don’t have any loyalty to me, do you? You could have got me into huge trouble.’

‘What’s she talking about?’ Jake asked me but the hostility in Lisa’s words had rendered me mute. His gaze shifted to Lisa ‘What have you done?’

‘Nothing as bad as she thinks.’ She spat out the words. ‘Nothing as bad as dating your best friend’s twin without even talking to her about it first.’ Lisa pushed her face towards mine. I could smell white wine, cheap and sour. ‘My own fucking brother.’ She was shouting now.

I could feel the curious gaze of the other customers and wanted to scream at them to mind their own business, but instead, I said quietly: ‘My dad locked me in a cupboard.’

‘What?’ They both looked at me in disbelief.

‘All day. I’ve been locked in a tiny cupboard all day. In the dark. I thought I was going to suffocate. I was so scared.’ I started to cry again.

‘Let’s get out of here.’ Jake put his arm around my shoulders. ‘I’ve got the car outside.’

‘No! You said you’d leave it here and we’d get a taxi back. You’ve been drinking, Jake.’ Lisa held his arm.

‘I’ve only had one pint and I feel fine.’

‘We were going to talk. I have something to tell you. It’s important.’

‘You can see what a state Kat is in. You can tell me later.’

‘Don’t go.’ She was pleading now, and I felt horrible for Jake as though he had to choose.

‘I have to.’ There was finality to Jake’s words.

Lisa looked wretched as she said: ‘Fine. I’ll call you a cab.’ She stalked outside, already punching numbers on her mobile.

‘Are you okay?’ Jake cupped my face between his palms.

‘Not really. There’s something else you need to know.’

‘Come on.’ Jake took my hand and led me out the back door to the car park.

‘What about Lisa?’ I climbed into the passenger seat.

‘She’ll be fine.’ He eased the car out into the street, and sheltering in the front entrance Lisa turned, phone to her ear. ‘Wait!’ she shouted but Jake drove off, and as I looked in the side mirror I saw her standing there and she looked so distraught I felt terrible. Is there anybody I haven’t hurt today?

We didn’t speak as we drove for the short journey out of town. Jake’s mobile rang, Lisa’s name flashing up, and Jake switched it off. He slipped his mum’s car into the lay-by outside the woods and silently we both opened our doors and stepped outside. Dusty earth rose, tickling my nose as I planted my feet on the ground. Wordlessly Jake took my hand in his and we fell into step together, both instinctively knowing where we were going. Jake hadn’t asked any questions, as though he knew what I had to say would irrevocably alter our lives forever, and I hoped he would see it as a beginning and not an end. Splintered wood snagged my dress as I climbed over the wooden fence, goosebumps sprung up on my arms. It was colder under the canopy of trees and I hesitated, wondering whether we should turn back, but Jake rested his arm over my shoulders and I drew warmth from his presence.

Twigs cracked underfoot, and high above the treetops the moon shimmered its hello as the sun bid good night. It grew darker and darker until we reached the clearing where Jake first made love to me. It felt fitting I would tell him here. Jake shrugged off his jacket and spread it on the ground and we both sat, bodies pressed tight against each other. I could feel the heat from his skin. His forehead was damp with sweat. He looked scared.

‘I know,’ he said.

My stomach plummeted. ‘What do you know?’

He took my hand, gently rubbing my knuckles with his thumb. ‘You’re pregnant,’ he said, and he didn’t sound sad, or angry, or any of the things I thought he might. He stated the fact as though it were inevitable.

‘Yes.’

Time was suspended as I waited for him to speak. The wind stopped blowing, the leaves stopped rustling. I crossed the fingers on the hand that was hanging by my side, praying he would tell me it would all be okay. Instead he let go of me and stumbled as he stood. The first step he took away from me almost broke my heart.