Annabel heaved her shopping onto the kitchen counter, to say she felt tired was an understatement. She didn’t know why seeing Dan with that woman had affected her so much, but she’d struggled to sleep properly since. On top of that, she now had an abundance of this flower and that flower crowding her head. She sighed. With a last minute wedding to provide for, she certainly had her work cut out.

She thought back to the young couple concerned, knowing her job would be a lot easier if they’d had the slightest idea as to the kind of design they wanted. Then again, she supposed their indecision was understandable. From what they’d said, their wedding did seem very last minute. And to be fair to the bride, she had given her a starting point. She’d said her favourite colour was red.

Annabel’s heart sank. Red. Usually such an exciting and vibrant colour, moody even depending on the shade; today, however, it symbolised failure.

Up until now, she’d managed to keep a lid on her disappointment and, doing her best to quell it once again, told herself not to be silly. She’d known all along that getting pregnant wouldn’t be easy, her pragmatic side insisting only a fool would think otherwise. No, this morning’s bathroom visit didn’t really bring any great surprise. Her time of the month had arrived as it always did – even if it was a bit late on this occasion. Trying to be positive, Annabel told herself that thanks to today’s young couple, it was probably a good job anyway. With her current work load she didn’t have the time to deal with morning sickness, let alone to feel sorry for herself.

She scoffed. Maybe she should thank them for the welcome diversion.

Annabel forced all thoughts of pregnancy to the back of her mind. She refused to feel down and was determined to do the young couple proud; she let her mind drift back to the run up to her own wedding. She’d been so looking forward to their good old-fashioned elopement, followed by a weekend in bed. At least that had been the plan until Tom let slip what they were up to. She laughed. She should’ve known he wouldn’t be able to keep his excitement to himself. On the other hand, her soon-to-be husband should have known not to tell his mother.

The woman had always been one for great displays of emotion, especially when it came to getting her own way. ‘I want to sit at the top table,’ she’d said. ‘I want a bunch of flowers.’ Annabel recalled her frustration as, before she knew it, the date had been postponed and her mother-in-law had elected herself wedding planner, ensuring every man and his dog made up the invitation list. It’s funny how things turn out, she considered. Now Tom had gone, it was a day Annabel would be forever thankful for.

She waited for the wave of loss that usually accompanied thoughts of her wedding, but this time it didn’t come. Yes, the sadness was still there, but she didn’t feel bowled over by it. Confused, half of her wondered if this was a good thing, a sign that, finally, she really was moving on. The other half felt like a traitor to her marriage. Something else Annabel didn’t want to think about.

She turned her attention to the bag of shopping and the evening ahead. An evening that would no doubt finish the day in the same way it had started – miserably. Tempted to rearrange, she knew that would only be delaying the inevitable. She and Rebecca had to sort things out at some point and she supposed tonight was as good a night as any.

Annabel emptied the bag’s contents, her purchases looked pitiful and she wished she’d made more of an effort. Not that there was anything she could do about it now. A bottle of wine and a couple of ready meals might not be up to her sister’s exacting standards, but, on this occasion, the woman would just have to like it or lump it. She imagined Rebecca going all out to produce some fabulous gourmet meal were she the host and not the guest. But trying not to be too hard on herself, it wasn’t as if Annabel hadn’t intended on delighting her sister’s taste buds. Wandering around the supermarket, her heart just hadn’t been in it. ‘You’ll have to do,’ she’d said, picking up a couple of lasagnes. However, looking at them now, sitting there waiting to be pierced and popped into the microwave, she couldn’t help but sigh. There was no way they were going to look as good on the plate as they did on the packaging.

She put the bottle of white in the fridge and hoped it would cool sufficiently before Rebecca arrived. The food on offer might not be up to much but at least they could enjoy that. With a bit of luck, it would also help her sister loosen up enough to divulge whatever had been on her mind lately; a problem shared was a problem halved and all that. At any rate, that was the plan. After all, talking about Rebecca’s issues would keep them off the whole Dan subject. Annabel paused and realised that, compared to him, she’d spent the day feeling sorry for herself over nothing. Having to deal with his mother’s illness and find himself a wife. Now that was someone with a real problem.

Annabel began to puncture the cellophane covering tonight’s dinners with a knife. At the same time, she recalled the other evening when she’d seen Dan with his mystery woman. For some reason it had made her feel uneasy, a strange reaction considering she’d known about his promise all along. Under the circumstances, of course he’d be out and about meeting people. She guessed she just hadn’t expected to witness this for herself.

She insisted that she was adult enough to know things could get messy, especially if he met someone he was interested in. Messy not just for herself, but for everyone concerned and standing there, Annabel had to wonder if the best, in fact, the only solution was to try and get another donor. She didn’t relish the prospect. Finding Dan in the first place had been embarrassing enough. More importantly, she had to admit that she didn’t want to find someone else. It was as if Dan wasn’t only helping her on the pregnancy front, he was helping her along in other ways too. Something in her had changed since she first met him and, despite everyone else’s views, it felt like a change for the better.

If only she had someone to talk things through with. Not only did Rebecca fail to understand, she obviously had her own stuff going on. Katy hadn’t agreed with her actions from the start. She also seemed to spend all her time with Oliver lately; Annabel had never seen her so loved up. That only left Tom and even though she could talk to him about anything, going into detail with regards to Dan no longer seemed right.

She suddenly felt guilty. She and Tom had always told each other everything, be it good or bad. Yet here she was wondering whether or not to keep secrets.

‘Penny for them,’ a voice suddenly said.

Knife in hand, Annabel spun round to spot Rebecca in the doorway.

‘I think they’re dead now, don’t you?’

Annabel looked down at the food containers, realising she hadn’t just perforated the two lots of packaging, she’d completely obliterated them.

‘Doesn’t hurt to make sure,’ she said, pulling herself together.

‘Is it anything you want to talk about,’ asked Rebecca, hanging her coat on the back of a chair.

‘Not really,’ said Annabel. As far as she was concerned, the two of them had enough to discuss already. ‘But you can open this.’ She took the bottle of wine back out of the fridge and handed it over, before grabbing a couple of glasses from the cupboard ready for her sister to pour. Surprisingly, Rebecca set the bottle down after filling just one. ‘Aren’t you having any?’ she asked.

‘No, just water for me thanks.’

Annabel headed for the sink and filled the empty glass with tap water. Disappointed, she hated drinking on her own. It also meant her sister was intent on keeping a clear head throughout the evening, a sure sign that Rebecca also meant business. ‘So,’ she said, handing it over and taking a seat.

‘So,’ said her sister. She followed suit and sat at the table.

Sipping on her wine, the atmosphere felt awkward. While Annabel wanted to bring up Rebecca’s recent behaviour, she could tell her sister wanted a similar discussion about hers. It was simply a case of who was going to get in there first.

Keeping things casual, Annabel decided to bite the bullet.

‘How’s things?’ she asked.

‘Fine,’ Rebecca replied.

‘It’s just that the last time you popped in you said you wanted my advice.’

‘Did I? I don’t remember.’

Annabel knew she was lying. With a memory like an elephant, she no doubt remembered every single word that had come out of both their mouths. The situation made her feel sad. Rebecca had had something that needed sharing on her mind for a while, yet remained intent on keeping it to herself. Not only that, she also looked tired; like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Usually preferring the Dunkirk Spirit approach to life, it was an image Annabel wasn’t used to. She wished that, for once, her sister would let her in. ‘You do know I’m here for you, don’t you?’ she said. ‘That whatever’s going on you can talk to me about it?’

Rebecca put on one of those annoying, brave smiles of hers. ‘I’ve told you,’ she replied. ‘There’s nothing to tell.’

With their conversation over before it had begun, Annabel gave up. ‘Whatever you say,’ she said, rising from the table. ‘Just remember, I’m here when you’re ready.’

Disheartened, she put one of the lasagnes in the microwave, pressed a couple of buttons, and clicked start. Watching the plate go round and round, the timer beeped with every passing second. The countdown had begun in readiness for yet another argument. After all, if Rebecca wasn’t here to talk about her own problems, it could only be because she wanted to address what she saw as Annabel’s.

‘I’m pregnant!’ her sister suddenly said.

Annabel froze. She needed a second to absorb what she’d just heard; she tried and failed to respond. Out of all the statements that could have left her sisters lips that was the last thing she’d expected to hear. Considering the irony of the situation, she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Annabel thought back to the morning’s bathroom visit, she told herself that Rebecca couldn’t be having a baby. That just wouldn’t be fair. And, knowing full well what her sister could be like, she found herself silently asking why now? Why would Rebecca and Gavin choose now to get pregnant? She hoped to God it had nothing to do with her own pregnancy plans.

‘Really,’ she finally said. Not sure what else she could say, it was her turn to put on a brave face. She turned. ‘I didn’t know you were even trying.’

‘That’s the thing,’ said Rebecca. ‘We weren’t.’

Annabel told herself at least that was something; there’d been no competition to get in there first. However, despite doing her best not to show it, her sister’s admission still stung. It seemed that Rebecca only had to blink and she got pregnant. Annabel, on the other hand, had spent weeks tracking her menstrual cycle, learning all about the follicular and luteal phases in readiness of finding a donor. Then there were the hours, upon hours, she’d spent lying on her back, legs and bum in the air once her donor had come along to do the business. And she still had nothing to show for it.

‘But you being pregnant is a good thing, right?’ she asked.

Annabel ignored the fact that life could be cruel sometimes and tried to sound positive. Unlike Rebecca, she noted, who refused to play along.

‘Is it?’ she simply replied.

Her sister’s tone sounded flat and emotionless, making it hard for Annabel to tell what she was getting at. Was she being sarcastic? Expecting Annabel to be so upset she’d create a scene? Or was she simply playing the news down because she thought that was the right thing to do? After all, Rebecca had to know how much this would hurt. She searched her sister’s face for a clue, but even that failed to give anything away. One thing was clear though, tonight’s announcement certainly didn’t compare to those of her other three pregnancies. With each of them Rebecca had been overflowing with joy. Then again, realised Annabel, on those occasions, so had she.

Annabel felt ashamed. She told herself this baby deserved better, that, regardless of their differences, her sister deserved better. Annabel put her personal woes to one side and insisted Rebecca’s family planning issues had nothing to do with her own. As hard as it felt right now, she knew that she should celebrate this pregnancy; particularly when she expected others to celebrate hers when the time came.

‘Well you’ve always said you wanted a big family,’ said Annabel, re-taking her seat at the table. ‘You’re just having baby number four a bit sooner than we all thought, that’s all.’

Much to her surprise, Rebecca’s bottom lip began to quiver, leaving Annabel feeling guiltier than she already did. Not that she fully understood why. Given the nature of Rebecca’s news, a part of her still thought any consoling should be the other way round.

‘Please don’t get upset on my behalf,’ she said, tentatively reaching out with a comforting hand. ‘It’ll happen for me too. I just have to be patient.’ Unfortunately, her understanding on the matter seemed to fail in its desired outcome. If anything, rather than feel reassured by it, her sister appeared confused. Okay, thought Annabel, now forced to acknowledge any tears weren’t for her benefit. Something she supposed she could live with, even if she shouldn’t have to. As long as the woman pulled herself together, that is, and told her what the hell was going on.

She watched her sister throw her arms, and then her head, down on the table. ‘What am I going to do?’ she cried.

Hormonal or not, Annabel had never seen her like this. As for the question, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

‘What do you mean, what’re you going to do?’ she asked.

Annabel thought back to previous discussions, she couldn’t seriously be thinking about an abortion? From where Annabel stood, having four children couldn’t be much different to having three. Besides, this baby had two parents not one. Surely the next move was a decision mum and dad should be making, not mum and mum’s sister.

‘What does Gavin think you should do?’ she asked.

Rebecca suddenly looked up. ‘I don’t know. I haven’t told him.’

Annabel stared at the woman before her. ‘You haven’t told him?’ she asked.

Rebecca slowly shook her head.

‘Why not?’

An unwanted thought suddenly began to form in Annabel’s mind; a thought that would certainly explain her sister’s unusual behaviour. ‘Tell me to mind my own business if you want to, but he is the father, isn’t he?’

‘Of course he’s the father,’ Rebecca replied. ‘How could you think he’s not?’

By now, Annabel didn’t have a clue what to think.

‘So what’s the problem then?’ she asked.

‘I’ll tell you what the problem is. I’m going to get fat. I’ll be waddling down the street like some overgrown penguin. Suffering back pain and developing a taste for gherkins.’

‘And having mood swings,’ said Annabel, unable to quite help herself.

‘Exactly!’ said Rebecca.

Annabel wondered if her sister knew how selfish she sounded. She’d have traded places with her in an instant given half a chance, waddle or no waddle. There had to be more to this than she was admitting. Everyone knew her sister bloomed during pregnancy.

‘What’s all this really about?’ she asked. ‘You’ve always loved being pregnant.’

Her sister reached into her bag and pulled out a tissue.

‘Well?’ said Annabel. Waiting for an answer, she was determined to get to the bottom of this if it killed her.

‘It’s about Gavin,’ Rebecca finally replied.

At last, maybe now they were actually getting somewhere.

‘What about him?’

Rebecca’s lip began to quiver again.

Another unwanted thought suddenly entered Annabel’s head, this one worse than the first. ‘He’s not sick is he?’ she asked. She felt her whole body tense up in anticipation. ‘Please tell me hasn’t got some god-awful disease.’ Having lost her own husband, the thought of her sister losing hers felt equally unbearable; and not just on behalf of Rebecca, but for the children as well.

‘No, it’s nothing like that,’ she replied, wiping her eyes.

Thank God, thought Annabel, relaxing.

‘So what is it then?’ she asked. ‘What’s the matter?’ In her view, if Gavin wasn’t dying, nothing could be so bad as to warrant all this.

‘He’s bored with me,’ said Rebecca. ‘After nearly ten years together, he’s finally got fed up.’

‘What are you talking about now? Of course he’s not fed up.’ As far as Annabel was concerned, life with her sister as of late was anything but boring. ‘I think the fact that you’re pregnant proves he’s still interested, don’t you?’

Feeling a mixture of frustration and helplessness, she watched Rebecca burst into full blown tears.

‘Then why is he having an affair?’ she said.