Leaning forward just in time, a glop of cheese landed on the plate instead of my lap. I looked at Spencer and gave a shake of my head. “I forgot I was wearing a designer suit there for a minute.” I glowered at the burger. “As good as this is, I feel like this suit deserved so much better for its first meal.”

Spencer was mid-bite and chewed before replying. “It’s okay. I was thinking, when we got back to the hotel tonight, maybe we could do a role reversal. This time you keep the suit on.”

It took a heartbeat to speak. The lump in my throat having nothing to do with burgers. “Yeah, that might need to happen.” Dear God, two suit fantasies lived out in one day. I didn’t know how much more I could take. I didn’t think anything could surpass what we’d done in Spencer’s office, but it sure wouldn’t hurt to try.

“I am sorry that I messed up your reservation.” He grinned. “No, actually I’m not. Nothing could make me sorry about what we did. But hopefully they didn’t have your credit card on file.”

I shook my head, keeping the lie to the nonverbal variety. The restaurant did require a credit card to hold a reservation, and I was certain the no-show fee was substantial. Like I cared. Like there was any amount of money I wouldn’t have forked over to stay in Spencer’s office as long as possible. I took another bite of my cheeseburger and placed my hand on Spencer’s leg, glanced around at the other diners of Cove Cafe, then squeezed his thigh.

“This idea of yours was brilliant. Nothing to worry about. No Lavender Shores natives looking over our shoulders, and to top it off, we are deep in the Castro. We can be as gay as we want to be.”

“It is pretty wonderful. Although, I’m pretty sure we stick out like a sore thumb, wandering around in our suits.”

He chuckled. “Oh, come on, we just passed that naked guy walking out of the porn store wearing nothing but a guitar over his junk. I know the Castro is tame compared to what it used to be, but I’d say we can get away with pretty much anything.”

“Naked man is one thing, guys in designer suits is another.” I adjusted my tie, making sure my fingers were free from grease beforehand. “Not that I’m complaining. I think this is just taking my suit fetish to a much deeper level. Which I didn’t know was possible.”

“You know, I’m totally fine with that.”

It truly was a completely different experience having a meal with Spencer in San Francisco. He wasn’t my ex-brother-in-law. He wasn’t an Epstein; I wasn’t a Carlisle. We were just two regular men on a date. Two men who’d wanted to be with each other for a decade. Two men who’d just had killer rounds of sex, donned suits, and driven to the Castro for cheeseburgers. Well, maybe regular was an overstatement.

Part of me had expected the nerves to follow me down from Lavender Shores. I had done my best over the past week to let go of the fears of Spencer freaking out from some flashback from reparative therapy or childhood guilt. It had taken a concerted effort. But now that we were here, far away from home, nearly as anonymous as we could be to those around us, all those worries seemed inconsequential. Maybe the cheeseburger was perfection, or maybe I was just happier than I could ever remember being. Whatever it was, it was the best damn meal of my life. Way better than five stars.

We finished eating, paid, and walked out of the restaurant hand in hand. The summer night was cool, the salt breeze from the bay as thick as the stars overhead. The layers of the suit and the warmth of Spencer’s hand in mine made the temperature perfect. We were surrounded by weekend partiers in the Castro, in plain view of everyone, but still, it was just Spencer and me. Maybe a small miracle, but it felt like the biggest slice of magic imaginable.

Typically, the quiet serenity of Lavender Shores felt safe and protected. However, at the moment, it couldn’t compare to the bustling crowds, busy street, and glare of neon lights.

Spencer glanced around, then turned a playful smile on me. “I know we just ate, but there’s one more place we have to go while we’re still wearing suits.”

“That does really narrow things down, considering where we are.”

He pointed across Castro Street toward Market. “I think it’s dessert time.”

I didn’t have to ask for clarification. Right at the beginning of the strip, the glowing yellow sign for Hot Cookie welcomed each new visitor. I couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Really going to play the role of tourist tonight?”

“Hell yeah!” He looked at me with his bright eyes, his voice filled with childlike excitement. “In fact, the whole weekend needs to be a tourist weekend. Tomorrow, we can go to the Golden Gate Bridge, walk by the Full House houses. Sunday we go to Alcatraz, Fisherman’s Wharf, maybe Coit Tower.”

His excitement was contagious. “How many hours in a day do you think there are?”

“Good point!” He laced his fingers with mine. “Scrap the Full House houses. We want to make sure we leave enough time for plenty of hotel sex on that king-size bed.” He winked. “Although, I’ve read some books about some pretty sexy things happening on Alcatraz if you manage to spend the night there.”

“I don’t know what kind of books you’ve been reading that include prison sex, but apparently there’s some more fetishes that we need to explore.”

“Oh, definitely. Definitely.” He headed down the sidewalk pulling me along. “Come on, let’s get some cookies.”

I nearly skipped along beside him. So extremely happy. And then it hit me. Spencer was happy. All the worry and stress I’d seen in his face the past weeks, the bags under his eyes, all of it, gone. He didn’t look older and tired anymore. In fact, he looked fresher and happier than I had seen him in ages. He wasn’t going to freak out. The past wasn’t going to overwhelm him and cause him to run. Maybe it was too good to believe, too good to trust, but I decided to do just that—trust Spencer was truly the man I knew him to be. Trust that we had paid whatever price was required by our long wait. No more waiting for the shoe to drop, I was going to enjoy every second with him.

The first thing on that list? Cookies!

The place was basically the size of a shoebox. Nothing more than a double long display case filled with every type of cookie imaginable. Neon sign in the window, and a string of red-and-white men’s briefs with the words Hot Cookie emblazoned on the crotch hung overhead.

The cute redhead behind the counter stood up straighter as we walked in. “Holy shit! To think I was pissed I couldn’t get today off! Two hot daddies in suits. Fuck yeah!”

We both laughed, but I noticed a blush rise to Spencer’s cheeks. Just when I thought he couldn’t get any cuter.

The redhead wasn’t done. “For you two, pick any two cookies you want, they’re free.” He winked, and the teasing left his voice. “If you want to hang around until closing, I’ll give you each a dozen for free then.”

Spencer burned bright at that.

“Thanks for the offer, but I think we will probably stick with cookies right now.” I moved to the counter, focusing on the trays of cookies instead of the kid who was eighteen if a day. I pointed out a large sandy-textured cookie to Spencer. “I hear their snickerdoodles are the best.”

He glanced at the cookie, then with a grin and impossibly turning one shade brighter, he pointed toward the other side. “These. We need to get these. The white one has a curve that matches yours.”

I leaned over and sucked in a breath. The tray was filled with dark and white chocolate penises. Nearly life-sized. And under the smooth chocolate shaft, each supported two bulging testicles, covered in toasted coconut.

Spencer lowered his voice, though I imagined the redhead could still hear him. “Although, you do a better job trimming your balls.”

Before I could respond, the redhead piped in, confirming my suspicion. “Daddy knows how to trim. It really is my lucky day!” He opened the back of the display case. “Macaroon penises coming right up. White or milk chocolate?”

We insisted on paying for our cookies, despite a blatant offer for a threesome later, and rejoined the crowds walking along the Castro. Spencer had chosen the white chocolate penis that had a curve like mine. He held it up between us.

I stared at it. “You can’t be serious?”

“Oh come on, Doctor!” He shook the cookie. “How many times in life do you get the chance to toast in the middle of the street with two penises while wearing designer suits? You can’t let a moment like that pass by!”

“Fine.” Laughing, I pulled my milk chocolate penis out of the bag and tapped their blunted tips together. “Here’s to penises!”

“Here’s to your perfect penis, the curve, trimmed balls, and everything.” Spencer opened his mouth toward the cookie and bit the shaft off, leaving him holding the toasted-coconut-covered testicles.

Luckily, I hadn’t taken a bite of mine, otherwise I probably would’ve choked. “Oh my God! I am never letting you near my dick again! I doubt I’ll ever be able to get that vision out of my mind.”

He chewed but talked with his mouth full. “I’m willing to bet my skills are worth the risk.”

I couldn’t argue with that. Instead of responding, I followed his example, but one-upped him, biting off the shaft and then shoving the balls in without taking a second to chew.

Spencer’s eyes popped wide. “There’s that hungry mouth I’m starting to know so well.”

I snorted a laugh, which only served to suck cookie particles up my nose and made me choke.

He waited until I was under control and then brushed his hands over the lapels on my chest. “Already getting crumbs on the new suit.” He tsked. “I’m going to teach you a lesson for that.” Instead of waiting for a response, he slipped his hand into mine once more, finished off his white chocolate testicles, and walked with me through the Castro.

We let the comfort of the city surround us for a while. Not needing words as we paused here and there to look into shop windows and bars, or to blatantly people watch. Though being with Spencer was new, in many ways, it simply felt like a normal life. Something so completely wonderful, yet commonplace. Natural. Again, I didn’t know if it was the years of longing for him, or because we knew each other so well already, or simply if it was because that’s how love worked. Whatever it was, it just felt right. Beneath the layers of lust, attraction, and desire, it just felt right.

When he spoke again, Spencer didn’t look at me, just kept his hand in mine and continued our stroll. “What happened with Seth?”

“Seth?” It was so out of the blue that it took me several heartbeats for my brain to fire the correct synapses together. “Oh, Seth.” Seth Marino was part owner of the Blue Blossom Bed-and-Breakfast. Our time together was so brief that I often forgot it even occurred. We’d barely dated two months, and it had been such an easy breakup that sliding back into being simply friends was easy. “What do you mean what happened?”

He glanced at me for a second, but I couldn’t read his expression. “He’s the only guy I have known about you dating since I’ve known you. Maybe there were others, but I wasn’t aware.”

“There weren’t others.” I tried to keep the sudden embarrassment out of my voice. “Honestly, Seth and I dated so shortly that I don’t even count it as a relationship. I always say I’ve had one boyfriend, Paulie. But I suppose Seth counts as number two.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

It seemed I hadn’t done such a great job of keeping my embarrassment hidden. “I’m a gay man in his forties. It sounds kind of pathetic to only have had two boyfriends.”

He didn’t respond to that for a second. “So, what did happen with Seth? I was only around the two of you together that one time, and you broke up right after.”

I studied him even though he still wasn’t looking at me. I had a sneaking suspicion where this was going. My embarrassment faded, replaced by amusement. “It sounds like you have a theory there, Spencer. You trying to put on the hat of a therapist instead of a lawyer?”

A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, and he shrugged.

Yep, he knew, somehow. And for some reason he wanted to hear it. “I had just met you. You and Erica were going to get married. You were all I could think about. And that wasn’t something that could happen. I decided to distract myself with a relationship of my own. He was the quickest, simplest choice. You know Seth.” I didn’t try to hold back the chuckle. “The man will sleep with anyone at the drop of a hat, so it was easy to do that part with him.” Looking back, I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t noticed the obvious. That I’d chosen someone with whom I clearly wasn’t compatible. A safe relationship if there ever was one. A relationship that was guaranteed not to work out. Although, it hadn’t been his relationship issues that had been the kicker. It had been mine. “As I think you know, I couldn’t get you out of my head. Seth was great, actually. Seth is great. He’s a wonderful guy, still is. He’s just not you. No one is. I wanted you. It wasn’t fair. Not to Seth. Not to myself. So I ended it.” I shrugged. “Not a big deal really. His heart wasn’t broken at all. And mine already was, so no harm done.”

Spencer halted and faced me, the polite smile on his face fading instantly. “Your heart was broken?”

I shrugged again. “Well, yeah. Isn’t that obvious? I’d fallen for you. Completely. You were marrying my sister. There was no chance that I’d ever have you. Unless my heart healed, there was no chance for me to be with anyone else either. At least, not in a relationship that would ever work. Not when I was in love with someone else.”

He slipped his other hand into my free one, and we stood there, hands clasped, facing each other, the crowd walking around us. “I’m sorry you hurt for so long.”

“You were hurting too.” My eyes stung but I kept my emotions in check. “And we are here now.”

“Yes, I am here now. I’m so glad you are too. So glad you weren’t able to move on to someone else.”

I nodded, this time not trusting my ability to speak. All the years of feeling like a fool, longing for someone I couldn’t have, not trying to have a relationship of my own, all of it suddenly didn’t seem insane. Finally.

He kissed me, tasting of coconut and chocolate. A long kiss, not one full of heat, but one that promised he truly was there now. That all the years had been worth it. For both of us.

He broke the kiss with a smile. “Want to head back to the hotel or do you have your heart set on going out dancing?”

“Oh yes!” I cleared my throat, thankful that he taken the humorous approach. “Nothing sounds better than being surrounded by sweaty twenty-year-olds as they dance to techno music. If that’s what twenty-year-olds still dance to.”

Spencer chuckled. “Well, don’t ask me. But, I think tomorrow we should find out. Although, I’ve heard those things don’t really get started till eleven o’clock at night. I’m not forty yet, but that just sounds ridiculous.”

“You really are a man after my own heart. You just suggested going out dancing, then have already found an excuse not to go.”

He grimaced. “I’m used to getting up at five for work every day. I’m in bed by eleven, not clubbing.”

“How about we settle for stopping back here tomorrow night and getting another set of chocolate penises?”

“Yes. That’s the kind of wild night I can sign up for.” He pointed back to the car. “Speaking of wild, I believe we have a new suit to break in this evening.”

The thought of Spencer naked and fucking me with my suit around my knees was all the suggestion I needed to pick up the pace.

We were nearly to the car when he spoke again, his cocky humor back once more. “So, if I understood your story about Seth correctly, what you’re saying is even before I showed you my sexual prowess in the bedroom, I’d already ruined you for all other men.” He waggled his eyebrows.

“Oh, dear Lord! I knew that’s where you were going with that.”

He shrugged. “Well, that’s what it sounded like to me.”

He wasn’t wrong. He most definitely wasn’t wrong.