The only other time I’d been in Walden’s garden was the evening of the party where he and Gilbert announced they’d eloped. It was unlike any place I’d ever seen. Truly like stepping into a fairy tale. One minute you’re in his cute little house, you go out to the yard, then you walk over a bridge and before you know it, you’re in an enchanted wood, complete with a storybook lantern and strings of lights woven through the tree branches overhead. You feel like magic might truly exist. That had been a couple of months before. Actually, only a little more than five weeks. My God, that had been the day after the sex party at Paulie’s house. It felt like years ago. The entire world had changed.

The garden was still stunning in the early evening hue, but not quite as magical as it had been at night. I looked at Gilbert, leaning against the lamppost. “You know, when you invited me over, I was expecting some sort of new announcement. Like maybe you guys were adopting babies or something. I at least figured other people would be here.”

“You’ve been my therapist for the past six hundred years. If you ever say anything about me and babies in the same sentence again, I’m asking for a complete refund. That’s Andrew and Joel’s gig, not mine. Luckily, with how worn-out Walden gets with the kids at school, I don’t see a baby-ache anywhere in our future.” He shrugged. “I did figure you wouldn’t suspect it’d just be the two of us, but I didn’t want to have this conversation in your office, because of professional boundaries”—he waggled his hands in the air—“or whatever. This was Walden’s idea. We have privacy, and it’s in a place separate from therapy.”

“Is Walden here?”

“Nope. He went to Lavender Leaves so we’d have some space. I told him I’d give him a shout when we’re done.” He shrugged. “He didn’t actually suggest we use the garden, just the house. But I like it out here, as you know.”

I had a sneaking suspicion of what Gilbert wanted to talk about. I’d actually expected it during our therapy session the day before. It had been a week since he had seen Spencer and me together. However, I hadn’t been picturing this. “So are you going to tell me what’s going on, or are we just going to sit here and keep being weird.”

“Weird?” Gilbert gave an exaggerated shocked face. “You’re my therapist. You’re not supposed to pass such harsh judgment.”

“Well, you took me out of my office, so it seems you don’t want me to act like your therapist right now.” It really was weird, and I loved him, but I wanted this over. “Let me guess, you’re hoping to play my therapist for a little bit?”

He made a sour expression, but thankfully, Gilbert didn’t drag it out longer, which was much truer to his style. He came over and sat beside me on the bench, then turned to face me directly. “You know I would never judge you, Dr. Car—” He grimaced. “Donovan. And you know me, anything you want to do sexually with somebody, I think is your business. And I’m glad you’re finally getting your freak on.”

Saying such a thing was completely Gilbert, but it still threw me off. Even though I was certain he’d figured out things as soon as he’d seen Spencer and me. This was breaking boundaries much more than we’d ever done before. “Getting my freak on?”

“I don’t want to hear about it. I’m glad it’s happening for you, but I don’t want to hear about it. It would be like hearing about my grandparents fucking. And that just doesn’t need to happen.”

“Well, thank you for that ego boost.”

Gilbert grinned. “I do what I can.”

“Can we get this over with, please? Or skip it entirely, while we’re at it?”

“You know, I’d like to make a comment about how I’ve asked you that same question a billion times in therapy and yet you keep me for the whole hour every single time. We both know it’s just so you can collect full payment.” He pointed at me. “However, you’re in luck. I want this over just as badly as you do, so I’m not going to bring any of that up.” Another smirk.

It was moments like these, where I wanted to strangle him, that reminded me why he was so dear to my heart. “When I get drunk tonight to remedy the headache you’re giving me, it’ll be your fault.”

“Then you’re welcome, and tell Spencer he’s welcome too. I’m willing to bet you’re even more of a freak when you’re drunk.” He pointed at me again. “Do not confirm that.” He gave an exaggerated shudder. “But now that we’re on the topic, like I said, there is no judgment, I just wanted to check in with you. You’ve seen what I’ve gone through in this town. And I know it’s not quite the same thing, but this is going to send shockwaves. If nothing else, your dad is gonna flip. He represents two founding families in one.”

“He has absolutely no room to judge. The last thing I care about—”

He held up his hands at my explosion. “Cool down, Doctor. Use some of the breathing techniques you’re so determined to shove down my throat. I don’t give a fuck about what your father thinks either. He was just an example. It isn’t fun to have the whole town talking about you. Granted, you’re not a teenager, so it will be easier, but still, you’re fucking around with your half-sister’s ex-husband. You’re a Carlisle; he’s an Epstein. Lavender Shores is going to have fun with that for a long time.”

Gilbert was right on several things, all of which I’d already processed. I didn’t care, not what the town thought, not what my father thought. I did worry that it might hurt Erica, but I doubted it would sting that much. But Gilbert, he was a different story; his opinion of me mattered. “Are you sure it’s the town you’re worried about? Or is it you? Are you going to see me differently? Will it cause you to wonder about our sessions together, undermine the progress we’ve made?”

His expression was all the answer I needed. The bravado and exaggeration fell away. He actually looked hurt. “Are you serious? Like anything you could do would ever make me feel that way. Surely you know that. How many times over the past years have you been the only reason that I hung on? Do you really think—”

 “No, of course not.” I had to swallow. I hadn’t said that to get a reaction from him, but while I knew Gilbert loved me, I had never heard him speak quite so plainly. “I didn’t think that. But thank you.”

“Thank me? For what?”

I searched for words that would capture what I felt while still maintaining some semblance of professional distance, though why I bothered at this point, I had no idea. There’d been many times over the years, when I looked past my effect on my niece and nephews, that I wondered how much good I’d really done. Whether I could’ve helped much more somewhere else. But I knew what Gilbert said was true. Without me, without our time together, he wouldn’t still be here. There would be no life with Walden, there would be a Gilbert-sized hole in the world. “Just… thank you. I’m glad you’re here.”

He blinked a couple of times, almost making me think he was teary, and his lips moved silently for several seconds. “And I’m glad you’re happy, Doc. At least you sure look like it, more than I’ve ever seen you before. I wanted to make sure you had your eyes open, which I should’ve assumed that you did. I just needed to make certain. And… you know that I’ve got your back no matter what, right?”

I barked out a little laugh. “Yeah, Gilbert. I never have any doubt of that.”

“Good. We’re done, then.” He gave a shake of his head, and the Gilbert I was much more familiar with returned once more. “So, you and the hot lawyer, huh? Like I said, I don’t want to hear any sex details from you, and if you have pictures, keep that shit locked up tight. I don’t need to accidentally stumble onto that while looking at porn. But I’ve got to ask, when you two role-play, does he ever hold you in contempt of court, and then come up with perverted little sentences for you to pay your debt to society?”

I rolled my eyes at him.

“What? Like I said, I definitely don’t want to picture that. But when I’m not picturing that, that’s exactly what I wouldn’t picture.”

I’d thought I was already at peace with everything. But as I drove back home, the feeling increased. I wouldn’t have said that I needed Gilbert’s blessing, but having it meant the world. I wasn’t sure how Emma and Ethan would deal with the change in their father’s and my relationship, but I doubted it would be a big deal, though I wanted to approach it carefully. I didn’t even foresee huge drama with Erica. I was one of the few she never turned her cutting actions upon. Plus, she’d moved on. She moved on before the marriage had even been over. She’d be fine.

Once home, I changed into sweats and a tank top, poured a glass of red wine, and settled into the swing with my Kindle. Spencer was with the kids, so I had the rest of the night to myself.

I missed him.

The thought made me shut the flap on my Kindle.

I missed him. I sighed and sank into the cushions of the swing. What a wonderful feeling, to miss Spencer. To know that he was across town with Emma and Ethan, and that we would be together tomorrow evening. I was used to longing for him, longing for him in a way that felt desperate as I’d thought it would come to nothing. But now? Missing him when he was mine… I reveled in it.

I sipped my wine as the swing rocked slowly, the gas lamps flickering, insects and night birds singing, and people passing by every so often out on the sidewalk. It was more than I’d dared to hope for in so very, very long.

After a while, I poured a second glass of wine, returned to my book, and waited for him to call.