I have the dream again.

The same one as always.

The beached pilot whales.

The desolate beach.

The cold wind.

The man.

I still can’t see his face, I can only get a vague idea of him, and every time I think I have a grasp on who he is, it flows out of my brain like water.

This time, though, he doesn’t walk toward me.

He walks straight into the sea.

Past the whales, into the oil.

And I realize he was never meant to save me.

I was meant to save him.

When I wake up, it’s to the sound of giggling.

I pry my eyes open and expect my brain to be sluggish, my head to be pounding. That was two nights in a row that I drank way more than I normally do. But to my surprise, I feel fine. I know I didn’t drink as much as the night of the bar but maybe it’s something to do with the crisp mountain air.

I slowly sit up in bed and climb out, having no idea what time it is. There’s a window in the small room and it shows a light dusting of snow outside. The sight of the pure white coating the trees makes me smile. It will be nice to see what everything looks like in the daylight. I fell asleep in thermal leggings and layers of tops, so I just pull on a sweater and I’m warm enough.

I slowly open the bedroom door to see Magnus and Viktor fully dressed, standing over what seems to be a passed out Einar. Magnus has a Sharpie in his hand and has completed drawing half of a twirly mustache on Einar’s face.

“You guys!” I hiss.

“Shhhhh!” Viktor shushes me, waving his hands. “We’re almost done.”

I shake my head and creep on over to them. Einar’s nose is twitching, but he’s not awake yet.

“You guys are so immature,” I whisper. “To think you’ll both be the kings of your country one day.”

“If you think I won’t draw mustaches on people when I’m king, you have another thing coming,” Magnus says, concentrating as he finishes the rest of the mustache.

“Voila,” Viktor says, grinning. “He looks like an evil villain.”

He does. Like a cartoon character. I try not to laugh.

“He’s going to kill you guys when he wakes up,” I say, folding my arms. “And how is he still asleep? I didn’t even think Einar blinked, let alone slept.”

“This happens every time,” Viktor explains. “He has a few beers and then he’s dead to the world.”

“What happens if someone tries to kidnap you guys and he’s out cold?”

Viktor and Magnus look at each other in surprise and then Magnus says, “We’d pull a Kevin McCallister. You know. From Home Alone.”

“But with guns,” Viktor adds. “We have rifles. I was in the military. Don’t worry, Princess, you’re well protected.”

I raise my brow. I don’t know about that.

Now that the prank on Einar is over, Magnus proudly looks over his work, puts the cap back on the Sharpie with a triumphant click, and gives me a smile. “So, how did you sleep?”

“Good,” I tell him, my eyes now glancing to the main window for the first time. “Oh my god, the view.”

I walk over to the window and peer out. I can see now why I almost went over the edge last night. The cabin is built right on the lip of a rock face, leaving an unobstructed view of the valley below. You can see the snowline halfway down the slope of the adjacent mountain, like God just decided to stop painting. The mountains here are bare, with very few trees, which make them look otherworldly.

“Gorgeous,” Magnus says from behind me, his voice so low and rough that it makes me think he might not be talking about the view at all. He stops right behind me, his hot breath on my skin.

I swallow hard and feel the little hairs on the back of my neck rise. Every memory of last night comes flooding back to me, but they had never left to begin with. I’ve just been too afraid to think about it.

But now, with the heat of Magnus’s large body behind me, it’s all I can think about. It demands I pay it attention.

The way he held me.

The way he looked at me.

The way he kissed me.

The things he’d said.

I both wanted and didn’t want him to kiss me. It’s all I’ve been wanting to think about ever since the night at the bar, when seeing him in his element with his quirky older friends made me realize there is so much more to this man than I’ve been giving him credit for. And when he held my hand, it made me realize how badly I’d been missing out on physical affection.

How much I’ve been subconsciously craving it from him.

But I also knew that if he kissed me, everything would change. It would make it harder for my decision to not get influenced by my hormones. It would make it harder to stay rational and logical. It would make it harder to not fall for this man.

And I was right.

He may have saved me from going over that edge, but his kiss sent me over it anyway.

Hopefully, there’s still time to save myself.

I turn around and Magnus’s face is right there, those full lips turned up into a sly smile, those dark, magnetic eyes that see right into my soul, right into every thought and intention I have. He knows what I’m about to do. That I’m going to push him away until I can think clearly again.

He’s almost daring me to do it.

God help me if he springs a “question time” on me right now.

“I better go change into something warmer,” I tell him, my gaze dropping from his as I quickly move past him to the bedroom. Behind me Viktor says he’ll get the fire up and running.

I close the door to the bedroom and try to think. We have another day up here in the cabin and I have no idea what’s planned and—

The door to the room opens.

I whirl around in surprise to see Magnus step in and close the door behind him. “Don’t you knock?” I cry out.

“I want to talk to you,” he says, not looking the slightest bit ashamed of barging in.

“What about?”

“Last night,” he says. He lowers his voice. “I kissed you. And, I’m sure against your better judgement, you kissed me back.”

I stare at him as he walks toward me. The way he moves, so smoothly, so confidently, he reminds me of a predator. He’s had way too much practice with this and that thought alone gets my hackles up.

“So?” I manage to say. There’s no place for me to go, the wall is at my back.

He stops right in front of me, close, his shoes almost touching my toes. He peers down at me and I instinctively suck in my breath.

“So?” he repeats, his eyes trained on my lips. “You say that as if it didn’t mean something to you.”

“What was it supposed to mean?”

“That you’re attracted to me.”

I look away, my eyes going to the window, to the snow-dusted trees outside. Suddenly the cabin feels so small. “I think that’s pretty obvious,” I admit quietly.

He lets out a soft laugh. “Obvious? Ella…I can’t get a read on you, no matter how hard I try.”

I bring my gaze back to his, knowing that it’ll be even harder now to look away. There’s something so earnest in his eyes, and it disarms me. Then again, he’s been steadily disarming me for days now.

“I don’t think that’s true,” I tell him. “You had a pretty good read on me last night.”

“That might have been dumb luck that you kissed me back. Or maybe I’m just that good of a kisser.”

I can’t help but smile at that. “You are a good kisser.”

Not that I’ve had a ton of experience but it was definitely the best kiss that I’ve ever had. Kissing him was as easy and natural as breathing.

He studies me closely. “Then why do I get the feeling that you’re going to go on pretending it never happened?”

Damn it.

“Ella?” he adds. “Don’t make me ask again.”

I look at him sharply. “Trying to boss me around? You might be the prince but this princess is her own ruler.”

He grins. “Fuck you’re hot when you tell me off.”

“That was hardly telling you off.”

“Then you’re hot when you do anything. Tell me then,” he says, his eyes skimming over my nose, my lips. “What are you so afraid of?”

I clear my throat, trying to stand taller. “I’m not afraid.”

“Are you afraid that in a day or two you’re going to say yes?”

“No.”

Of course, that’s exactly what I’m afraid of.

“Ella,” he says softly, putting his hand at my cheek. His palm is so warm, so strong, my eyes automatically close and I lean into it. “If you say no…”

The thought wrenches something inside me.

Because if I say no, he’ll have to find someone else.

Little by little, day by day, I’ve gone from wanting my freedom, my life that I left back in university, to having a hard time imagining a future without Magnus by my side in some way, shape, or form.

I mean, I don’t love him. Most days I don’t even like him. But no matter what mood we’re in or who we are to each other, there’s been one constant. He makes me feel something, like no one else ever has, even if it’s just the fact that my body is starting to ache for his.

And this is why bringing sex and a physical aspect into this makes things that much more confusing.

“You only want me to say yes because you have to get married to someone,” I say. “And I’m convenient. I’m right here. You’ve invested your time. It might as well be me.”

He doesn’t say anything to that and so I know I’m right. If the whole marriage thing was lifted and he was free to do whatever he wanted, I’d be pushed aside and forgotten, just like I normally am.

Some things don’t change, at least not for me.

He sighs and lets his hand drop away from my face. My skin feels exposed now.

“Ella, if you don’t want me now, I have a hard time believing you’re ever going to change your mind,” he says. From the way his arched brows are coming together, he actually looks hurt.

“I didn’t say I don’t want you. I just…this is a big thing.”

Now he’s back to his cocky grin, his default setting. “I know. Almost too big.”

“You know what I mean.” I lightly punch him in the chest, trying to bring this back to the easiness we had before. “I just need some space to figure things out.”

He frowns, like he doesn’t understand, then nods. “Okay. I can give you space. For what little time we have left.” He steps away from me. “What did you want to do today? There’s a small lake not too far behind here, and Viktor and I usually go fishing.”

He sounds so casual now and looks the part, running his hand through his lush hair, that it’s hard to believe he just told me last night that I was everything to him.

It’s just as hard to ignore the way that made me feel.

Wanted. Needed.

Desired.

I take in a deep breath. “Fishing sounds fine.”

“Great, dress warm, put on your boots and—”

He’s cut off by Einar yelling something in Norwegian.

Magnus and I both raise our brows at each other and run to the door, opening it to see Einar staring at himself in the mirror in pure horror while Viktor is keeling over laughing. Einar starts yelling at him again, angry and red-faced, only it just makes Viktor laugh harder. It’s hard to take Einar seriously with that mustache.

“What is he saying?” I ask Magnus.

“Oh, he’s letting loose a few of those swear words you learned. Viktor and I better sleep with one eye open tonight.”

* * *

“Are you allowed to play that question game with me?” Jane asks.

I look up from my book, a copy of The Secret Garden, to see Jane standing in the doorway. She looks like she’s just gotten back from the stable and there are a few pieces of straw in her hair. While Magnus and I have gone off and done our things, she started taking an interest in riding, something she used to do as a child.

“You mean question time?”

She walks across the parlor room and sits down across from me. I don’t bother pointing out that she left woodchips and dirt in her wake. She’s gone from Lady Jane to Pigpen.

“Ella, you still haven’t told me what happened at the cabin. Tomorrow is our last day here. You have to make your decision.”

I sit up and look around, making sure Magnus or Ottar aren’t hanging within earshot.

“Relax,” she says. “Magnus went for a run. You’d hear him if he came back. That man can’t be silent even if he tried.”

“Where’s Ottar?”

“He went running too.”

“And Einar?”

“Right here,” Einar says with his hand up, suddenly appearing in the corner of the room where apparently he’d been sitting for who knows how long.

“Jesus, Einar,” I swear, always jumpy when I suddenly discover him somewhere. “You were easier to spot when you had that mustache.”

He raises his brow at that but doesn’t say anything as he exits the room. It took a great deal of soap and Jane’s extra-strength makeup remover to get that stuff off.

Jane watches him until he’s gone, then looks back to me. “So, what happened?”

“Who says something happened? I mean, other than Einar’s mustache.”

“You and Magnus went from being all starry-eyed and flirty with each other before the trip to staying away from each other like you both have the plague.”

“We were never starry-eyed and flirty.”

“You don’t think so, but I know. Ella, this whole thing has been playing out in front of me like I’m watching a live version of Downton Abbey. It’s been glorious.”

I tuck my feet underneath my legs and settle deeper into the couch. “Well, I’m glad that this has been pure entertainment for you.”

“Something happened. You need to tell me.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s cold. We should get another log on the fire.”

“If that’s your way of telling me I need to put another log on the fire, I’m not playing. Or I will…if you tell me the truth. Did you sleep with him?”

“God no,” I exclaim, but my face is going hot, only because of the amount of times I’ve thought about it.

“No?”

“No,” I repeat. And then the words spill out, “He…we kissed.”

Jane gives me a knowing smile. “I figured something would happen. That’s why I wanted to stay out of it. How was it?”

I close my eyes and let my head tilt back against the couch, reliving that moment. The way his mouth moved with hunger, the feel of his erection pressing against my hip, hard as a rock. “It was good,” I say softly.

“Then why the hell are you ignoring him? You should be snogging every chance you get! And then some.”

I look at her with a sigh. “Because. I don’t want that to cloud my judgement.”

“Ella!” she exclaims. “It should cloud your judgement! And it’s not bloody clouding it, it’s illuminating it. Ella, if you want him, then marry him.”

“I still don’t love him. I would be marrying for all the wrong reasons. What if all we have is a marriage full of sex and nothing else?”

Jeez, does she ever look disgruntled. “Do you know how many women, myself included, would kill for a marriage full of sex? Good lord. You’ve gone batty.”

“I want love,” I tell her. “What if I never feel that way for him. What if…” And, I know this is the bigger fear, “what if I do feel that way for him and he never does for me?”

Jane tilts her head sympathetically. “No one has the answers. Even those who fall in love and marry for the right reasons. People fall out of love, grow apart. There are no guarantees, no matter how you go into it.”

“But at least they’re doing it for the right reasons. Starting off on the right foot.”

“Are you marrying for the right reasons? No. Maybe not. But you do have your reasons, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now, reading on the couch of what could be your potential home.”

I hadn’t even thought about making this place my home, but since I would write that into the list of demands, I guess it’s possible.

She goes on, her voice quiet now. “If you say yes, you have your reasons and you know what they are already.”

Originally, my biggest reasons have fallen to the wayside.

Having power and a voice.

Having the ability to make a huge difference in the world.

Having respect of people.

The admiration of my father.

The biggest reason for me to say yes is the simplest one: hope.

I don’t know what lies ahead in my future, but I do know which future gives me the greatest shot at hope.

And that’s being with Magnus.

There’s a world of hope hidden in my heart for him.

My phone rings, jolting me out of my thoughts.

I quickly reach over to the coffee table and pick it up, glancing at the screen.

“Your father?” Jane asks.

My heart sinks. My father hasn’t called once while I’ve been here.

Instead, I think this might be the Queen. A private number out of Oslo.

I shake my head and answer it. “Hello?”

“Ella, dear.” Yup. Magnus’s mother.

Clearing my throat, I say, “Good afternoon, Your Majesty.”

“Please, you know it’s Else.”

“Did you want to talk to Magnus?” I ask, not knowing how she got this number and not wanting to talk to her on the phone.

“That’s quite all right,” she says. “I just wanted a word with you.”

Oh god.

“I wanted to see how things were progressing.”

Oh god.

“You know we’ll be coming by tomorrow with the lawyers and the contracts to go over your final decision.”

Oh god.

“Oh, yes. I thought for some reason we would be going to the palace,” I tell her.

“It’s too risky for that. Someone might see you. The press hasn’t been able to locate Magnus lately and it’s put them on edge.”

I cringe thinking about the fact that I went to the bar and the cabin and she has no idea.

“Tell Magnus that we’ll be by before noon tomorrow. If the cooks can put something together for the King and I, it would be much appreciated. We’ll probably be famished after all the celebrating.”

Oh. God.

“Okay,” I whisper. “Goodbye.”

I hang up, not caring if that’s the proper way to end the phone call with the Queen or not. My god did she ever sound confident about my answer.

“That bad, huh?” Jane asks.

I give her a miserable look. “She thinks I’m going to say yes.”

“And are you?”

I sigh, getting to my feet. “I’m going to go have a nap. I can’t deal with this right now.”

“You better learn to deal with it, then,” Jane says. “Tomorrow will be here before you know it.”

That’s what I’m afraid of.

I head to my room, close the door, and promptly flop down on the bed. I just want a few moments of clarity. Time to breathe. I don’t even want to think because my brain feels so overloaded.

And apparently, it’s so overloaded that within seconds, the room goes black and I drift away into a blissful sleep.

Only to awake again when I hear “Ella” being whispered from someplace above me.

I open my eyes. The room is dark, except for the lights outside which stream in faintly through the far windows. It has to be at least dinnertime. And then I notice the figure hovering over me, the glint of the lights shining in his eyes.

I take in a sharp breath, but I’m not afraid.

“Magnus?” I say.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he murmurs. He’s standing by the side of the bed, one hand resting on the edge of the mattress, inches away from my hip. “Dinner will be ready soon.”

“Oh,” I say, swallowing the sleep in my throat. “I slept that long.”

“I guess you needed it.” A long beat pauses. I can hear him breathing, hear the pulse of blood in my head. “I’ve been giving you space, Ella. But I’m over it now.”

“Over it?” I manage to say.

He nods. “I let you do what you needed to do and think what you needed to think. But now it’s time for my needs.”

Am I dreaming? What is happening?

“What needs?”

Do I want to know?

“We both know what tomorrow is. We both know I gave you space and left you alone so you could make your decision. But I’ve been tired of waiting for you to come around, tired of waiting for you to make up your damn mind.”

Is he kidding me? “Make up my damn mind?” I tell him, anger coursing through me. Suddenly I’m more awake than ever.

I sit up. “I know you’re used to things being handed to you on a silver platter and doing whatever the fuck you want, but I’m not. This is a big deal, okay? For Christ’s sake, I’m only twenty-two, Magnus! One day I’m trying to figure out how I can get my flatmates to like me and whether I can get an A or an A+ on a test, the next day I have to consider becoming the Princess of Norway. Marriage wasn’t even on my radar before you came along! How do you expect me to—”

“I’m not going to marry you.”

His words hit me like a fucking bomb, shrapnel lacing my heart.

“What?” I eke out, unable to breathe.

“I’m going to marry someone else,” he says, so swiftly, so glibly, like he doesn’t have a care in the world, as if he’s not obliterating me right now. “You can’t make up your mind and that’s your answer right there. I’m going to go try my luck with the Princess of Belgium instead. You’re off the hook, Princess Planet. Go back to your other life.”

Then he turns and starts walking to the door.

I don’t know whether to burst into tears or attack him.

I decide on the latter.

“You fucking asshole!” I yell at him, springing out of bed and running over to him, shoving him against the wall.

Well, attempting to shove him. He’s built like a tree and those roots don’t budge.

“You piece of shit!” I scream, banging my fists into him. “You, you…”

“Shitbag?” he offers, and I swear he’s smiling.

“That doesn’t even begin to explain what you are. You’re scum. You’re a fuckface. You’re whatever swear word Einar said the other day.”

“You jacked off my grandfather?”

“What? Oh my god. That was what he said? No.”

He reaches out and grabs my wrists, holding them with an iron grip. “I told you I like it when you get nasty with me.”

“Fuck you!” I yell, and I’m pretty sure I’m spitting in his face. In the dim light, it’s hard to tell. “You played me! You used me! You told me lies, you made me think you wanted me!”

My god, he looks absolutely delighted that I’m screaming at him. Where the fuck does he get off, well, getting off on my anger?

“Ella,” he says calmly. “I’m just making the decision for you.”

“I need to make it myself!”

“Actually, you think the ball has been in your court this whole time, but the ball has been in mine. You think I was waiting around to find out if you’d say yes or not? I was waiting around to find out if you were worth marrying or not.”

I stare at the ground, collapsing under the weight of this all.

Oh my god. He doesn’t think I’m worth marrying. I’m not worth anything at all. Once again, I’m kicked to the curb, I’m sent off, I’m…

I think my heart is breaking.

“And you are,” he adds simply.

My head flies up. “What?”

“You are worth marrying, Ella,” he says.

I blink at him rapidly. “I don’t understand. You just said you were going to go marry the Princess of Belgium.”

“I’m pretty sure the Princess of Belgium is sixty years old,” he says. “And while I do like my older friends, I have to draw the line somewhere.”

What the fuck?

“I don’t get it. Why would you say all of that to me?”

“Because I wanted to get a reaction out of you.”

“You ass!” I try to punch him in the chest again but his hold on me is too strong. “A reaction? You almost broke my heart right there.”

Even in the shadows, I can see his features soften. “Then isn’t that your answer?”

He’s got me. He’s completely got me there.

To think of him leaving me and marrying someone else, it nearly broke me just now. So why on earth could I have ever imagined leaving him? Was it because for once I wanted to be in control, to have the power I so often wish I had? Was that my way of asserting myself when it comes to him?

“Look, Ella,” he says, letting go of my hands and cupping my face, making me feel cradled and small. He peers at me intently, his eyes glinting. “The situation hasn’t changed, but we have. Maybe this wasn’t how we saw our lives going, but right now, I can’t think of it going any other way. I know you have your reservations and you’re entitled to them. I have mine too. I know we’ve only known each other for a few weeks and I know we’re not in love. We’re barely in like. But I do know that I want to do this with you and I can only hope you’ll do it with me.”

My breath is starting to come back to me, my heart is starting to slow, and yet my nerves feel like they’ve been laced with gasoline and he’s about to throw a match on it.

“Question time,” he says softly.

My throat feels thick. “You didn’t sing it.”

“It feels too serious for that,” he says. “Ella, will you marry me?”

I try not to think about it.

I just open my mouth and blurt it out.

“Yes.”

He grins so broadly it makes him look positively boyish. “Do you mean that?”

Holy shit. I actually do.

“Yes. I do. I mean, I have a list of demands before we actually get married.”

“Oh, I’ve heard you mention it plenty of times.”

“And I’m not sure you can meet them.”

“I’ll meet you on everything, Ella.”

Oh hell, I might as well get this hard part over with. “One of them involves sex.”

“I am very much into meeting your demands there.”

I flash him a quick smile. “I just…”

“Ella,” he says reassuringly, his hands trailing down to hold on to mine. “I’m aware this isn’t conventional. I don’t expect anything of you. Whether on our wedding night or after that. We’ll just take this day by day.”

I jerk my chin back. “You’re serious? That doesn’t sound like a Magnus thing to say.”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t try and seduce you at every fucking turn,” he tells me. “Because, believe me, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

The thrill that runs up my spine nearly brings me to my knees.

“I’ll be ready for you,” I tell him, my voice sounding choked.

He bites his lip as he smiles. “Yeah, you will be.”

Then he leans in and places a long, wet, soft kiss right beside my lips. I never knew something so chaste could feel so sexual. “I’ll go tell the cooks you’re coming down,” he says as he pulls away and leaves the room.

It feels like he takes all the air with him.

What have we done?