Eleven

David

“Sorry it’s so early,” Sutton said when I appeared at the house.

Jason usually passed out in the early evening, so I’d shown up with enough time for the three of us to be together. Being a single parent couldn’t be easy on her. I knew that she’d gotten Jenny so that she could still have a semblance of a life. Also, it helped now that she was working. But it didn’t seem fair to always make her get a sitter when I used to babysit Jason. He was a great kid.

“Don’t worry about it. Anything I can help with?”

“Uh…there’s sunscreen in that drawer. We’re all going to need it.” She hurried down the hallway and collected Jason from his playroom.

Jason laughed when he saw me and tried to hand me the baby doll and a container of syrup. “Yes! Park!”

“Thanks, bud,” I said, taking the doll from his hand and staring at the syrup perplexed. “Why do you have syrup?”

“Don’t ask questions,” Sutton called back. “Modern parenting.”

I laughed and took the offered syrup bottle, too. Then, he found a stray truck and gave that to me, too.

“Just what I wanted.” I dropped all of them back into a container and grabbed the sunscreen out of the drawer. “Are you ready to go to the park?”

He threw both his hands up and yelled, “Yes!”

“Sunscreen first, Jay,” Sutton said.

I tossed it to her, and she thoroughly lathered Jason in the sunscreen while he complained intensely about it.

“You, too.” She tossed the bottle back to me. “No sunburns all around.”

I laughed but coated my neck, arms, and face as well. She busied herself with filling up a stroller with everything we could possibly need in a quick trip to the park, which, admittedly, was a shit-ton of stuff. I had underestimated how much a toddler needed on one trip out of the house.

Sutton buckled Jason in the stroller and then pushed it onto the sidewalk. She plopped a giant-rimmed floppy hat on the top of her head and smiled at me. “It’s blistering out here.”

“Texas summers. Why don’t you let me push?”

“All right,” she said softly, stepping to the side.

Jason munched on organic white cheddar puffs and pretzels as we walked side by side down Sutton’s street on the south side of town. It was a newer development, so it didn’t have the shade of some of the older neighborhoods. But there was a park less than a half-mile from the house with a lake, gravel walking trail, playground, and picnic tables. Kind of a dream when you had a toddler.

“I love your neighborhood,” I said. “It’s perfect.”

“Yeah. Jason loves it here. He has friends on our block. Just hard…being in the house sometimes.”

I nodded. “I could see that.”

“We come to the park a lot actually. Better than sitting around inside. It’s why he’s so tan,” she said with a smile. “That, and the swimming pool. Kid loves the swimming pool.”

“You have one for the neighborhood?”

“Yep. Best part of the outrageous HOA fee I pay,” she said with an eye roll.

I laughed. I knew what that was like. I’d seen some of the most exorbitant costs for housing and upkeep ever. Her yearly HOA was probably less than the monthly fee for where my parents lived.

“Okay, buddy,” Sutton said once we reached the mostly empty park.

She unbuckled him. He immediately raced toward the swings. We left the stroller parked nearby and followed him.

“Push!” Jason pointed at the swing.

“I gotcha,” I said, picking him up and placing him in the bucket swing.

He started rocking back and forth, as if he could propel himself into action. I moved around behind him, gently pushing him in the swing.

Sutton sank into the swing next to Jason’s and stared up at us with big eyes. She looked like she’d gotten all gooey and was trying not to melt into a puddle on the floor.

“I can get you, too.”

She raised an eyebrow. But then I switched to her seat, pulled the swing back, and released to get her going. She laughed and kicked her feet to continue her ascent. I alternated between a gentle push for Jason and a bigger push for Sutton. Jason giggled and pointed at his mom. Sutton was laughing, too. Throwing her head back and arching her back to get more air. She looked so…free.

All the tension rolled off her shoulders, and it was easy to see that she was only twenty-four years old. She’d lost so much. She’d endured. And here she was, still as beautiful as ever, not falling apart because of it.

“Watch out,” she said.

And then she vaulted off the swing and into the air before landing uneasily on her feet. Then, she rolled and lay down in the grass in a fit of laughter.

“Oh my God, I haven’t done that in forever.”

“Excellent dismount.”

“Ha!” she said. “Not my best. I could probably pull out a back handspring right now if I wanted.”

“I’d throw my back out if I tried that.”

“Fifteen years of gymnastics and cheerleading, and I still probably would.” She moved over to Jason, tugging him out of the swing. “Let’s do the slide.”

“Slide,” he said, racing toward the jungle gym.

There was a smaller slide on the side of the big construction that he only had to climb up two steps to get to. And though he kept eyeing the big slide, he hurried to the small slide.

“Mom! Mommy!”

“You got it! Let’s see,” Sutton encouraged.

She was sitting at the end of the slide, waiting for him to slide down. He pushed his way down, and then she scooped him up and swung him in a circle.

“Yay! Good job.”

“Again!” he crooned and then ran back to the stairs.

We watched him together for at least five million slides. Every single one of them, he insisted that we watch him and applaud his mad skills. It was surprisingly entertaining, all things considered.

Jason was sliding down his five millionth and one time when Sutton looked like she was about to fall over. It was at that time when one of Jason’s friends showed up, and he hurried over to play with the girl. Sutton nodded at the dad carting his daughter around and then plopped down onto a bench.

“I’m so glad he has friends,” she said. “Only time I get a reprieve.”

“He’s such a great kid.”

“He is.” She smiled with her eyes glued to Jason like a hawk. “Do you still keep up with your friends from home? The ones who you got in trouble with?”

“Oh,” I said, taken off guard. “No, not really. I’d known them my whole life, but I only really liked Court. He was kind of a jackass, but at least he was an honest one.”

“I can understand that.”

“The rest were…cling-ons. They wanted to be Court or close to him. He had that charisma, you know? Our families were like peas in a pod, so we always got along. I never had to work for his time.”

“Ah, yes. Jensen has that charisma.”

I nodded. “Definitely. I’m honestly surprised Katherine isn’t marrying Court’s brother. I thought that was the obvious choice.”

“Did they date?”

“Nah. But they were best friends. We all thought it would happen. But, no…she’s marrying someone else. Guy’s kind of a douche actually.”

She laughed. “Sounds like you know a lot of them.”

“Yeah. That’s fair.”

“Well, all of this sounds better than my friends.”

“Annie and Jenny are amazing.”

“Yes,” she agreed. A sadness cloaked her face for a moment. “But all my college friends kind of disappeared. They called and came by when Mav first died, but I guess, when it became clear that I wasn’t going to bounce back right away, they all slowly moved away and never spoke to me again.” She sighed. “Sorry to keep bringing him up.”

“First, they don’t sound like real friends.”

“They weren’t. I know that now. Hard way to find out who really matters.”

I reached out and laced my fingers through Sutton’s. She glanced down at our hands and flushed.

“Second, you never have to apologize to me about Maverick.”

“It’s just…awkward. Isn’t it?”

“He was your husband. I’m not here to shame you into never thinking about him again. Frankly, it’d be a little weird if you never thought about him.”

“Really?” she whispered. “Everyone else treats me like a pariah every time I bring him up. Like it’d be easier for me if I just forgot about him.”

“You’re not a pariah, and you don’t have to forget him. For Jason’s sake, I hope that you don’t.”

Sutton’s eyes snapped back to her son playing in the sandbox with the other toddler. “I wish he didn’t have to grow up without his father. I know what that’s like, and it sucks.”

“You’re doing a great job. You know that, right? You’re a great mom.”

Tears welled in the corners of her eyes. “Thanks. That’s, like…the best compliment anyone could give me.”

I kissed her forehead and helped her up. “Come on. Let’s get out of this oppressive sun. There’s pizza and a movie with your name on it back at the house.”

“You’re making pizza?”

“Yeah, no. But I know how to order one for delivery.”

She giggled, swiping the lingering tear from her eye. “Even better. No dishes.”

We wrangled Jason, and heedless of the sand he was now covered in, I threw him onto my shoulders for the walk back to the house. Sutton pushed the stroller but kept glancing up at the two of us as if we were a mirage…or a memory.