Chapter Thirty-Five
Sasha kept herself busy that day. She refused to obsess about Sam. Will he text? Won’t he? Was he just after a shag? She wasn’t going to go down that route.
Instead, she went to dance class. She knew that the music would lift her and that concentrating on the moves would take her mind off things.
Afterwards, she went for coffee with the girls – Sonia, Katie, Julie.
When Sonia was standing next to her in the queue and the others were out of earshot, she whispered; “So, any update on you and Sam, then?” She gave her a little wink and had that playful look in her eye.
Sasha’s eyes widened. “How did you know?” she exclaimed. Her heart was hammering with a mixture of surprise and excitement.
Sonia giggled. “Because Sam told me that he fancies you.”
Sasha’s eyes widened further. “Shut. Up. He did not.”
“He so did!” Sonia nodded knowingly.
“Oh my God!” Sasha’s heart was leaping with joy. Surely this was a good thing, that he was confiding in friends that he liked her?
Katie and Julie joined them in the queue then, so their conversation was cut dead. Sasha didn’t feel ready to tell them about it yet. It was too soon; too early. She didn’t want to put a jinx on things. Well really, she didn’t want to raise her hopes up in case it all came to nothing.
But Sam, true to his word, did text her later.
“Hey Sash, how’s it going? Was great to see you last night. How about we meet up again soon? Say, next Saturday night? Dinner and a movie? X”
It was the perfect message. Relaxed. Chatty. Yet assertive. Making plans for the following weekend.
Sasha waited the requisite three hours to reply. She knew it was game-playing. Yes, she was playing it cool. But things were going to be different this time.
So, a few hours later, she replied; “Hey Sam. It was a lovely eve, yeah. Next Sat would be cool! Sash x”
The following Saturday rolled around quickly enough. Sasha did her best not to obsess but instead, just to go about her normal day-to-day activities as usual.
On Saturday, she booked in to get a wash and blow dry at the hairdressers. Her hair always sat perfectly when they did it, whereas when she did it, she had a hard time trying to control the frizz. She wore her favourite Joe Browns dress – a green floaty number with cute pockets.
Sam met her at the station. Her stomach had that awkward, lovely, excited adrenalin feeling. It had been such a long time since she’d felt that. So many dates had been dread and disappointment. But this was new; exciting.
He smiled broadly when he saw her and gave her a hug. Immediately they fell into an easy walk and chat. After only a few minutes, her shyness fell away and she felt relaxed. This was Sam; easy-to-talk-to Sam. Comfortable, chatty, lovely.
They joked, laughed, chatted; it was all so simple. At the cinema, he placed an easy arm around her shoulder, as though they’d been together for months.
During the film, they cosied up to each other effortlessly. It just fitted, she thought.
Strolling on to dinner, the chat flowed about the film. During dinner, they talked about family, friends; endless topics. It was all so easy.
The negative voice in Sasha was trying to squeeze a word in edgeways.
There’ll be a catch, it said. Things always seem perfect at the start. Something will go wrong.
Sasha tried to brush the negative voice under the carpet like unwelcome dust.
Just relax and enjoy the night, she told herself. But the negative voice continued. No. Uh-uh. He’ll be expecting a shag tonight. Second date. He’s paid for cinema and dinner. He’s expecting a shag. If you don’t give it to him tonight then don’t expect to hear from him again.
The voice had a point, Sasha reasoned. How long would he put up with this – the wining and the dining – before he expected her to take her kit off? And yet – she didn’t feel ready. It felt too soon.
Well then I won’t, she reasoned with herself strongly. I am only going to do what I’m comfortable with. If he doesn’t like it, then he wasn’t worth it.
After dinner, they went for a drink in one of Sasha’s favourite bars. It had a crackling real fire, a large ornamental Buddha sitting cross-legged, the most gorgeous aroma of some sort of patchouli oil or such like. It was calming, comforting; relaxing.
“This has been a great night,” Sasha smiled.
Sam smiled back and played gently with her fingers; placing them in his. “Well, hopefully it’s not over yet,” he said, mischievously, as though that meant he’d be coming back to her place for kisses and cuddles.
“What do you mean?” she giggled playfully, even though she knew exactly what he meant.
He gave her a meaningful look, placed his arm around her shoulder and said, “Meaning it’s only 11pm, and it’s Saturday night. The night is young yet.”
He leaned in her direction, his lips landing gently on hers and kissing her. They felt soft, tingly, then harder; a little pressure.
When she pulled away from the kiss, she said, “Sam…?”
“Hmm?” he mumbled softly.
“Just so you know, I’m in no hurry to… you know…?” She was trying to be assertive, really she was. But it wasn’t working. Instead she was communicating through raised eyebrows and nigh-on sign language.
He looked at her, amused. “In no hurry to… shag?” he asked pointedly, his mouth showing a faint line of amusement as he placed extra emphasis on the word ‘shag’.
She nodded her head slowly, suddenly feeling embarrassed and immature.
Jokingly, Sam picked up his coat and stood up. “Right, I’m off,” he joked.
She giggled, despite herself.
“What?” he asked, mock-defensively. “No point hanging around here if I’m not gonna get a shag.”
She laughed. “Fine. Fuck off then.” She playfully hit him on the leg.
He sat back down, placed an arm around her and said, “Silly, I don’t care. It’s cool with me.”
And actually, she believed him. And she felt a little bit silly for highlighting the subject.
But whatever, it was a test.
And he passed.