“I’m going to shower, then we can figure out what we want to do today,” I say, breaking the silence that’s surrounding us. Pax nods in return as I wait for more. Walking to my bedroom, I can’t help but think that something’s shifted. Nothing seems familiar this morning. We’re not Belle and Pax. We’re two strangers who just so happen to know pretty much everything about each other. Would today, or even last night, have been different if it wasn’t for the change in his trip? Would we be sitting on the sofa drinking coffee and telling stories of the past four months? Instead of what’s been happening? I’m not buying his excuse for why he changed his plans. It’s not the first time that he’s had to cancel because another job has come up either before his flight to me or while in mid-air. There’s been plenty of times it’s happened in the past. I do believe that he’s tired. It’s written all over his face. The way the dark circles have crept up underneath his eyelids. The way his shoulders slouch forward while in conversation. Not to mention, when I asked about his work this morning, I noticed that spark in his eyes was gone. I take a detour to my room before going straight to the shower. Quietly, I shut the door and grab my phone from the nightstand to send a text to Brooke and Miranda.

Me: I got a pleasant little surprise when I got home last night. Pax is home and is being WEIRD!

Brooke: I thought he canceled? That’s odd.

Miranda: It’s early, can we chat about this in the afternoon?

Me: NO! Something is up with him, he’s being weird as shit.

Brooke: Maybe he woke up and realized what he has, think about that.

Me: Stop!!! You’ve known us for how long, and you know we’re just friends.

Miranda: Since I’m awake now. How long’s he home for?

Me: Not sure, didn’t ask and he didn’t say.

Brooke: I don’t know, feel him out and see if he says anything. He’s been gone, Annabelle, and he’s a man. Do we ever know what’s going on with them?

Miranda: She has a point. Just give him some love and he’ll be fine.

Me: Whatever! Oh, Jace, from down the hall, came over for milk. He is super HOT…

Brooke: Was Paxton up when super hottie came knocking?

Miranda: Where are the pictures of this HOT man?

Me: Not snapping him for you, and yes, we were eating breakfast.

Brooke: There’s your answer, babe. He’s pounding his chest like a caveman, claiming you before HOTTIE pants takes your pants off.

Me: I’m going to shower now… This conversation is OVER.

Brooke: We going to dinner tonight so we can see Paxton?

Me: Sure, text him. I need to wash that nasty club off my skin.

Miranda: Wait… Was he waiting for you when you got home? OMG, he thinks you were on a booty call. Brooke, make the dinner plans! I can’t wait for this.

Instead of responding, I toss my phone down on the bed and head to the shower. It’s official that all of my friends have lost their ever-loving minds this weekend.

Hot water streams down my body as it tries to wash away the soreness of my muscles. I hadn’t realized how out of shape I was until I woke up this morning. Between the walking and dancing we did last night, I’m safe to not start that spin class for another few months. I can’t help but allow my thoughts to drift to what’s going on with Pax as I lather up my hair. The last time he acted this way, it was a few weeks before he broke the news to me on leaving back in college. And the time before that was when Emily had asked him to prom our senior year in high school. I still laugh at that one. Every time the subject had come up, he’d get this weird look in his eyes, scratch the back of his ear all before changing the subject so fast that I ended up with whiplash. When Pax finally broke the news to me, I shrugged it off as no big deal. Honestly, it wasn’t that huge of an issue. I’d already had three guys ask, but a part of me was waiting for Paxton to ask me instead. The moment I’d found out that he had a date, I picked wisely and settled on number two—Leon. He was the safest. I didn’t have to ask beforehand or lay down any ground rules. He knew the deal before asking. Leon was what you called the band geek, the math whiz, and a genius wrapped in one cute package. I’d known Leon since middle school, and we agreed that this was not a romantic date. He’d pick me up for dinner, and we’d do the prom thing. Afterward, it was up in the air. He left the choice up to me on where we would go. Of course, me being me, I had to find out what Paxton’s plans were. Was he going to a party? Were he and Emily going to a hotel? Was this going to be the night that he threw in the V-card? Oh, did I forget to mention that not only was I still a virgin but so was Paxton? Okay, maybe that should’ve been explained before now, but you’ll figure out everything here in a few.

Even after Paxton told me he was going with Emily to prom, things were off. I could feel him pulling away from me more and more each day. The drives to school every morning were done in silence. The rides home after school became less and less as the days counted down to prom. At first, I thought it had to do with Emily. The fact that he might have actually liked her and wanted to have a relationship. I wasn’t stupid. I knew how hard it was to date and have a best friend of the opposite sex. I’d tried it a few times, and each one always ended in a choice. There was no way I would pick the boyfriend over Paxton. The two of us had gone through too many years. We were a package—take us both or nothing at all. That was the most significant part of my confusion. He knew that I would always choose him over the other person unless I were truly madly in love. I’m talking this person would have to cause my pulse to race so fast that it felt like a hammer beating from my chest. I’d started questioning if Emily was his pulse. Was she the one who caused his chest to restrict.

A few days before prom, I’d sent him a text explaining that I’d drive myself to school, as I had things to do. I didn’t, but he didn’t need to know any of that. It was my way of letting him off the hook. In the halls at school I kept my head down, focusing on my work and making it to the end of the day without any thoughts of him and Emily. She was experienced with boys, more than I first thought until Trisha explained how far she’d gone with several boys at our school and the one across town. I couldn’t blame Paxton for wanting to experiment before leaving to go to college. The day of the prom I’d promised myself that if Leon wanted to go all the way, then I’d say yes. It wasn’t the ideal plan or the way that I thought my first time would go, but might as well do it with someone you respect, right? It wasn’t like I was giving my heart away with the V-card. It was just an act, and love didn’t have to have anything to do with it.

That night when Leon and I walked into our school’s gym, my eyes landed on Paxton and Emily immediately. My breath hitched in my throat from just the sight of him in his tux. I’d never seen him in anything that fancy, and for a moment I thought I was looking at a movie star. His hair was slicked back, and he’d had a little five-o’clock shadow going on that I found incredibly sexy on him and only him. Even from across the room I could see the way the dark material made his steel-blue eyes pop like the ocean. I tried my best to contain my pulse and breathing. Anyone else might not have noticed, but Leon knew exactly what was going on.

“Why didn’t you ask him, Annabelle?”

“Ask who, what?”

“Paxton, silly.”

“You’re the silly one, we’re just friends. I mean, if we didn’t have dates we would’ve gone with each other, but then you’d be alone.”

“You know you suck at lying, right?”

“Want some punch? I’m a little thirsty,” I said as I tried to smooth the lavender silk material down as if it was standing at attention.

“Sure, I’ll go get us some and meet you over at the table.”

I nodded and moved across the gym floor in slow motion. I could feel Paxton’s eyes on me, but I was afraid to turn around and see him with her. It was the first moment in our friendship that I realized he was the one who made my pulse race, my chest restrict for air. Paxton was the one I wanted to be here with, he’s also the one I wanted to give everything to. At that moment, standing underneath the twinkling white lights, I took back my V-card. I knew I couldn’t give it to Leon, not when I wanted it to go to someone else.

A shiver runs down my back as I realize that I’ve been standing in the shower for longer than intended. The cold water hitting me pulls me from the past as I turn the faucet off. Drying myself off, I can’t help but laugh at the fact that senior prom didn’t go down as planned for either of us. I never asked him about it. I knew if he wanted me to see that part of his life, he would have told me. In a way he did. Before Leon and I left, we walked back over to our table to grab our goody bags. Next to mine was a ripped-up piece of paper with a game of tic-tac-toe started. I’d looked around the gym for Paxton, never finding him. I went ahead and placed my O down in the bottom right-hand corner. We had a full board of options, but it wasn’t just about the game that night. It was a way to tell the other that they were very much a part of the other’s life. I left my choice on the table and exited with Leon on my arm. Instead of going to a party or a hotel, we picked bowling. The last few hours of our night were spent trying to see how many gutter balls each of us could get in a single game. In case you’re curious, I won. I racked up a total of ten gutter balls, only hitting one strike, and I think I knocked down four pins.

---

Dressed with my hair up in a towel, I venture out to the living room where I find Pax slouched on the sofa watching TV.

“Feel better?” he asks as I plop down next to him.

“Much better, you?”

“Wasn’t feeling bad, so yes—I’m fine.”

I nod instead of responding.

“The girls texted me, guess we’re going to dinner tonight.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I know the girls want to see you too.”

“It’s okay, Belle. It’ll be good to see them.”

“Want to do anything today? Or are we hanging out until dinnertime?”

“Up to you, I could just sit here and watch a movie, or go run around with you.”

“I need to do a little work, but I think a movie sounds great. We can order lunch in, or I can make sandwiches.”

“Go dry your hair, and I’ll find us a movie.” He nudges me with his elbow. Instead of hopping up, I turn my body toward him. Offering up a gentle smile, I push up and off the couch and head back to the bathroom to dry my hair. I won’t need to do anything else until it’s time to get ready for dinner, but Pax knows if I don’t dry this mop I’ll be a frizzy poodle. Finishing my blowout, I go to my room before I head back out front. I gather up my laptop, folders, and my phone just in case.

When I enter the room, I go to say something but quickly shut my mouth as I notice in just that short time Paxton has fallen asleep. I bypass the sofa, setting up on the kitchen island to work instead. The guide to the TV is up, but the volume’s low enough that it won’t bother either one of us. Opening my phone, I scroll through my Facebook and the million other social media accounts that I have. An hour must’ve gone by of me clicking through posts and posting cute GIFs to some of them. Which entirely takes time to find the right one. Right as I go to close the app to Facebook, I notice a friend request pop up. No, I take that back, two requests. One’s from Jace down the hall, and the other is a blast from the past—Emily. How the hell does she finally send me a request on the same day that I was just thinking about her and Paxton? I glance over at a sleeping Pax. Drawing my bottom lip in through my teeth, I debate on accepting or ignoring for a few days. I don’t want to seem eager to be friends with her. I go ahead and accept Jace and close down my phone. I can’t help but wonder if what’s bothering Paxton has anything to do with Emily. I do what any rational person would do—open back up that phone. I click on Emily’s name and immediately scroll down to the about section. I just need to see where she’s living—Florida. I fist-pump the air, thrilled to know that she’s living in a state that hasn’t been visited by the adorable Paxton West in the last four months. Closing it back down, I open my laptop and folders then dive into work until my stomach grumbles for food. With a still sleeping guest, I call it quits for the day and make us each a sandwich. Right as I’m putting the two slices of bread out on the plates, Paxton stands and stretches from the sofa.

“Afternoon, sleeping beauty.”

“Guess we didn’t get to that movie, huh?”

“It’s okay, I got caught up with work stuff. Hungry?” I ask as I raise the plate up in Paxton’s direction.

“Thanks,” he responds.

“Welcome.”

We both take a stool at the counter and eat in silence. I know I have company, but you’d never be able to tell someone else is here. Before saying anything, I set my lunch down and grab a sheet of paper from my notebook. Drawing a grid, I place the first mark down in the bottom right corner. It’s my signature. Sliding it over, I wait for Paxton to notice and take his turn. Top right, a big X. We continue like this until the paper is full, and I’ve been beaten once again at a game that I should be able to slash any other player.

“Another round?” I ask as I prop my head up on hand.

“This time we need to make it count.”

“Count, what the hell have the others been?”

“Each play means we get to ask the other a question and they have to answer it honestly.”

“Aren’t you mixing up your games? This isn’t truth or dare; this is tic-tac-toe.”

“Nope, just adding a few new steps to the game. You know, like we do when we want to challenge the other,” Paxton says flawlessly.

“Fine, I’m game. You won the last one, so it’s your turn.”

Paxton changes up his strategy. Instead of going with the top left corner, he places his X on my bottom right. Confused, I glance up at him and wait for his question.

“Belle, have you ever been in love?”

I can’t answer this question. I should’ve asked for detailed rules on how we’re playing this extended version of our game. Do we get to have a pass? Can I call a friend—and by friend I mean one who’s not currently sitting so close to me? Do family members count? I go to open my mouth and before I can speak the sound of my phone ringing gives me a break for just a moment.