CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
SEVEN MONTHS LATER
My cell phone to my ear, I listen to Dylan rattle off hotel deadlines and details. No one could ever replace Annie, but Dylan has slipped into the role seamlessly. Initially, she just worked for Sutton, but with Sutton and I doing more and more projects together, it was just natural for Dylan to be both our assistants. And I’m grateful. Sutton’s hotel is booming with business. I knew it would, but never expected it to be as big as it is. Her luxury suites are booked solid for the next two years. Our goal is to have the renovations done by the time the baby comes, and that deadline is approaching quickly.
I feel Sutton come up behind me, her hand slipping to the bulge in my pants. “Hurry,” Sutton begs softly, tugging at my zipper. I never quite know which Sutton I’m getting these days. Eight months of pregnancy has eliminated any consistency.
The first few months she was sick. The next few months she was a complete sex siren who couldn’t get enough. The last few months she’s been exhausted, but judging by the fact she’s only wearing a bra, she’s back to horny. She’s informed me that maternity underwear is ugly, but that her boobs are so big, she has to wear a bra.
Ending the phone call, I take her hand. “Where’s your wedding ring?” I ask.
We got married within two weeks of me asking her. It’s pretty easy when you own a hotel and your soon-to-be wife’s only request is pizza at the reception. I know she likes simple, but that was pushing it. Still, I’ve seen my share of over the top weddings and knew I didn’t want any of that drama. Me, Sutton, Tawny, a few friends and family, and it was perfect. Even her father removed the stick in his ass for the event. I’m sure he wasn’t happy she was pregnant at her wedding, but ultimately, his excitement over being a grandfather won out, and he gave us his blessing. Which I know meant a lot to Sutton.
“My finger’s too fat,” she says, pouting her lip at me.
“I’ll buy you a bigger one then,” I say, kissing her softly. Sutton has an amazing body, there’s no denying that, but I had no idea the things her body could do until I saw the outline of a foot poking out of her belly.
She takes hold of my dick, and I look at the clock then ask, “Don’t we have a doctor’s appointment?” She’s far enough along now that we go every week.
“Yeah, so hurry,” she says, smiling at me.
I help lower her to the bed, propping her back up. Pregnant woman shouldn’t really lay flat on their backs. I read that somewhere. “Why do I get the feeling you’re just using me to try to make our baby come out?”
She giggles, but I know even if that’s not the sole reason for this impromptu sex session, it’s at least crossed her mind. “We have to do it while we can,” she says. “Because no sex for six weeks after the baby comes.”
“Guess I’ll be on a sex diet again,” I say, smirking. She gives me a tight-lipped smile.
Per my request, we don’t talk about my time with Dr. Lorraine or what followed much anymore. I know she’d like me to, but I don’t see the point. I said enough. We are happy, married, expecting a baby. It’s a happily-ever-after wrapped up nice and tight. Why rock the boat?
I kiss a path down her body, but she reaches for me, stopping me and saying, “No.”
Unable to see her eyes over her belly, I lift my head. She looks like she’s on the verge of tears. Told you—never know which Sutton I’m getting.
“I haven’t shaved or waxed. Too hard to see down there.”
Smirking, I tilt my head down. “Looks good to me,” I say, kissing her inner thighs.
She moans my name, and I know I’ve won her over. Truth is, I didn’t have a prayer against Sutton. She hit me hard. My life hasn’t been the same since. And thank fuck for that.
*
“Do you think he’ll be able to tell?” Sutton whispers, leaning back on the exam table in the doctor’s office.
“We agreed not to find out the sex of the baby,” I say.
“Not that,” she says, motioning with her hand. “That we had sex. I always think they can tell.”
“The baby bump kind of gives it away,” I say, grinning at her.
She shakes her head at me as the doctor comes in. The usual chitchat occurs. Then it’s time for the ultrasound. At least they can do the belly one now. In the beginning, they stuck a wand inside her. I think that annoyed me more than it annoyed Sutton. In fact, I wondered if she kind of liked it. Voicing that to Sutton wasn’t the best idea I ever had.
Our baby’s heartbeat comes in loud and clear. The doctor begins measuring the heartbeats, the length of various limbs. “Oh my God,” Sutton cries out. “It that what I think it is?”
My eyes fix on the monitor. “Please tell me our baby doesn’t have three legs.”
The doctor starts laughing. “Sorry, I know you wanted to be surprised, but sometimes boys can’t control these things.”
Sutton starts playfully swatting me. “This is your fault. Our baby has a boner!”
The doctor gives me a little shrug, confirming I am indeed looking at my son’s erect penis. Proudly, I say, “Print me a picture for the refrigerator.”
Sutton smacks me one more time, and I softly caress her cheek. “A boy!” she says quietly, and I kiss her sweetly.
We have a little boy. I have a son. Holding her as close as I can with her on the table, I stare at the monitor, watching him move, the flutter of his heart. I knew she was pregnant. I’ve seen her other ultrasounds, but it wasn’t until this moment that it became real. I think it was real for Sutton the moment she found out. Guess I’m slower with these things.
The doctor removes the probe from her stomach. “Wait. Just a few more minutes,” I say, feeling Sutton’s eyes on me. He places the probe back on her belly, my son coming into view. Aside from his mother, he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. For the second time in my life, I fall.
Fall in love.
Part of me wants to keep him in there so he’d never know hurt. He is perfect. Perfectly safe inside his mother’s stomach. Untouched, unharmed, innocent.
Is there anything more innocent than a little baby?
I’m looking at purity.
Something inside me shifts. I blamed myself for that night with Vicki. The fact that I was aroused. My head always knew that’s just biology. God knows, Annie and Sutton both told me enough, but something about watching my unborn son sporting wood made their words real. Vicki . . . I still can’t say the words. I can’t even think them in my head.
The doctor removes the probe again, wiping off Sutton’s stomach, then quickly leaves. Sutton squeezes my hand. “Everything alright?” she asks.
Nodding, I look into her eyes. “There’s something I need to do. Something I need to do for our son.”
*
Tawny still doesn’t know what happened, and frankly, I can’t imagine ever telling her, having her feel that kind of pain. Wish I could say Vicki got her due, what was coming to her, but she didn’t. I can only hope there’s a spot in hell for her.
Let’s be honest. On any given day, we pass murderers on the street, pedophiles in the grocery store. They are that close to us. To our loved ones. Our children.
We are taught to fear strangers, but really, monsters are hidden in plain sight—our coaches, our priests, teachers, and yes, even our family.
Dr. Lorraine opens the door to her office, a huge smile filling up her face. “I predicted you’d be back. Didn’t think it would take quite this long.”
I walk inside, holding an ultrasound picture of my son. Love is an act of bravery. I will do this for him.
Shutting the door, I say the words. The words I’ve avoided my whole life. Words that don’t define who I am. The silence did that. I don’t wait until I sit down before they fall from my lips:
“My stepmother raped me when I was fifteen.”