The meeting with Eisuke Kobayashi has taken far longer than I intended. The entire thing dragged on and on, and instead of being pleased about the fact that I was about to close the biggest deal in the history of Kingsley Incorporated, I have been on edge. Kobayashi, in his cheap three-piece suit, has lost all appeal to me, money to be made or not. As I sit here listening to him ramble on and on, I come precariously close to hating the little man and the fact that he and his petty numbers were robbing me of my alone time with Raeva. I felt trapped like a jungle animal in a cage and it no longer seemed to matter that I was the one who had insisted on this meeting in the first place. Profits be damned! For some unfathomable reason, I can not seem to help the resentment growing inside of me.
On top of that, I have been consumed with wild, irrational thoughts of Raeva and what she is doing. I don’t think I can recall any time prior to Raeva walking into my life when I have ever had such trouble concentrating or controlling my emotions. Today, I had to double and then even triple my mental efforts to focus on what Kobayashi was saying. This just can't happen again, but all I know is that the constant flow of fantasies about her are winning out.
Thoughts of Raeva’s sexy mouth on me…of her beautiful long legs wrapped around my waist…of my head buried between her thighs…fuck. Yeah, those thoughts were most definitely not helping me concentrate. Furthermore, hiding a raging hard on during a very important business meeting isn’t an easy feat. I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of here.
I hightailed it out of there at the very first opportunity with a haste that probably made him and his board of directors think I was running a marathon instead of conducting a multi-million-dollar deal. All thoughts of tact and cultural diplomacy went out the window. I had to get out of there. I had to get back to Raeva. Anything and anyone that was in my way was just an obstacle to be overcome. In my haste, I almost hadn’t stopped to pick up the surprise I had arranged for her. But imagining her wearing this particular gift... let’s just say that the thought alone was enough incentive to take the extra time away from her.
I chuckle to myself at how easily I accepted what she is to me. I need and crave her constantly. Raeva is as important to me as the air that fills my lungs. When I get back to the car I can tell by the look on Sean’s face that he has something to tell me and that I’m not going to like what said thing is. Unease grabs me by the balls and then irritation boils to the forefront at my own ridiculous reaction.
“What is it, Sean?”
He hesitates for a moment. Yeah, I really don’t like that.
“Sir, I have just received word that Ms. Ray has left the hotel. The driver informed me that he dropped her off at the airport about twenty minutes ago.”
I stare at him in disbelief.
“Come again?”
How could she do this to me? How could she just leave me? I feel my chest tightening and my lungs constricting. I literally have trouble breathing. What the fuck is this feeling? I swallow hard, trying to gulp in some much-needed air.
Raeva is... gone? She left? Why? Everything was perfect this morning when I pulled myself away from her to attend the meeting. The meeting may have seemed to last for hours, but in reality it really wasn’t that long at all. What could possibly have happened in such a short period that would cause her to just leave?
My stomach clenches and a mixture of unfamiliar emotions washes over me.
“Sir? I have tracked her phone, sir. She is at the airport. And her credit card just pinged her buying a plane ticket about an hour ago.”
The look of pity on Sean’s face snaps me out of it.
“Alright, let’s go to the hotel.”
Sean blinks at me, his hesitation clear, but then simply nods and gets behind the wheel. We get there quickly. A part of me is hoping she came back, that she changed her mind and is waiting for me in our bed. What the fuck is wrong with me? Shrugging out of my suit jacket I enter the suite and make my way to the sitting area, which is empty. I drape the jacket on a nearby chair and undo my tie as I walk into the bedroom, again hoping to see her in the bed. But the room is also empty. There is no rational way to explain what I feel when I see the bed empty and unmade. I look around for any of her belongings but I see none. I call out her name but the feeling of dread in my stomach is telling me that it’s in vain. Somewhere in the back of my head I knew she wasn’t here the second I entered the suite. I can feel her presence when she’s near. I can feel it so clearly that I swear I can touch it. Her mere presence fills my world with warmth when before it was stale and cold, just like it feels right now.
I walk back into the living area in hopes that she’s at least left a note. When I look down the hall I note the door to my office is open. Somehow I already know what I am going to find before I walk in there. I quicken my pace and circle the desk. That piece of crap article is pulled up.
“Fucking fuck!”
I run my hands through my hair. I scroll through the tabs and I cringe when I see a shit ton of pictures featuring myself with many different women and a bunch of bullshit society articles. Shit. My stomach drops. I had this shit all planned. I wanted to ease her into everything before she saw this bullshit and now …goddammit! I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and dial her number. It immediately goes to voicemail which, to be honest, I expected. I don’t bother leaving a message. I call Sean next.
“Airport, now.” I bark. I am usually not this curt but if I want to catch Raeva at the airport before she gets on a plane and walks the fuck out of my life, I don’t have a second to waste, especially on pleasantries. She is mine.
I’m out of the door and in the elevator in mere seconds. I fucked up, royally fucked up, and I know that if I was a better man I would let her go and give her a chance to get away from me. I should, but fuck if I could ever let that happen. I never claimed that I was a good man. I am self-aware enough to realize just what a selfish bastard I am. I can’t go back to before her. Everything changed the moment she walked into my world. Before now I've been walking around in a colorless world, devoid of contrast and focus. Then suddenly, with her and through her, I was able to see things differently.
Life, as seen through her fresh eyes, has finally come into focus. It’s as if her mere presence has redefined my entire world. Food tastes better, the air smells fresher; like I took my first breath when I met her. I don’t want to let go now that I have finally found what I didn’t know I’ve been missing my entire life. Fighting for her is my only option here. I get to the ground floor and pretty much sprint toward the exit. Akihiko Hayashi, the guy who I recently hired to be the hotel’s manager, stops me mid stride. I am in no mood for this shit.
“Everything okay, Mr. Kingsley?” he says, bowing deeply.
I tell myself to calm the fuck down and count to ten. I get to four.
“Sir?”
Five… six… seven… eight… I pinch the bridge of my nose… nine… ten… well fuck. that didn’t help one bit.
“Yes, I am fine. I need to get to the airport,” I say through gritted teeth.
The man works for you. Be fucking polite. I attempt to soften my expression, which about half a second ago must have been murderous.
“I have some hotel business to discuss with you if you could spare me some time?”
I blink hard. Is this a joke? Am I being punk’d right now? Where the fuck is Ashton? This man has an abysmal sense of social cues and apparently absolutely no survival instinct. There are several scenarios about how this conversation could possibly end playing out in my head and none of them look to be ending well for Akihiko.
“Now is not a good time. If it is anything that can’t wait call Ellie and she will take care of it,” I say, a little more annoyance in my voice than I intend.
He looks at me and nods.
“Are you joining Ms. Ray or will you be returning?”
I see Sean pull up in front of the hotel and I immediately start making my way to the exit.
“I’m hoping we’ll both be back,” I say over my shoulder.
* * *
Sean is a godsend to have around. He is not only my right-hand man and one of the few people I trust implicitly, but I also consider him to be my friend and I do not have many of those. Not to mention that the man is quite skilled; he has been trained in everything from security to flying a plane and he’s a wizard when it comes to navigation, which today I especially appreciate. It only takes me minutes to find the next flight to the States and I secure a seat just in case. I have never flown commercially before; it’ll be a novelty. I pull up the map of the airport and study it. I have just figured out what gate I need to be at and how to get there when Sean pulls in front of Kansai International Airport. We got to the airport in what I know for a fact is record time. The distance from my hotel to here is thirty-one miles and during the thirty-one-mile drive we broke about eighty-six traffic laws alone and, surprisingly, I can’t bring myself to give a shit. All I care about right now is getting to Raeva. Everything in my world lately revolves around her.
I check the time. I have about an hour and seventeen minutes before the scheduled boarding time. Never one to waste a single second, I jump out of the car and start my purposeful stride toward the departure gates. I am not even sure how I seem to know where the hell I am going after only looking at a map during the car ride here but it’s like an internal navigation system has awakened within me. I can feel that she is here and it’s like there is an invisible thread that is pulling me to her. I make my way to the gate quickly, scanning the area for a glimpse of her. I feel her before I see her. Warmth spreads through my body at the same time a stabbing pain hits me in my chest cavity. I am part pissed the fuck off and part relieved that she’s here in front of me. Thank fuck I made it in time. I have never chased after any woman and feeling anything at all is foreign to me. I don’t know how to approach this. I’m hurt and I am also angry as hell. Normally I take control over any situation without thinking of the consequences or how the other person involved might take my approach. My instincts tell me this particular situation is delicate and that my normal way of taking action is not the way to come at this. But I can’t just do nothing. I watch as Raeva gives up her seat to a frail-looking old man. Her kindness never ceases to amaze me. I already feel my resolve weakening. She is mine and I am not letting her slip away. She smiles and her stunning face lights up. She is so damn beautiful to the point of distraction that I have trouble focusing on the task at hand. As I reach her I gently touch her arm.
“Raeva…” I breathe.
I feel her stiffen as she slowly turns to face me, the expression on her face falling.
“No,” she says, conviction in her tone.
“No?” I repeat.
She sighs and runs her hand through her hair. She takes a few steps backward, creating space between us.
“Yes, Mika. Just…just no. Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
“Am I missing something here? Was I supposed to make this easy for you? Why the hell did you leave, Raeva? And not even bothering to let me know? Shoot a text or leave a fucking note? You didn’t think I deserved at least that much?”
Okay then…anger it is then. She bites her lip. I can tell from her demeanor that she is contrite.
“Why. Did. You. Leave, Raeva?” I urge her again.
She shakes her head, tears starting to pool in her eyes, and I fight the urge to pull her into my arms. I take a step closer and pretty much eliminate the distance between us. I take her chin between my index finger and thumb and guide her head so I am directly in her line of vision. I hear her suck in a breath as I stroke my thumb across her chin. Our eyes lock and any anger or hurt I feel is drowned out by the overpowering feeling of affection for the woman in front of me. My phone starts ringing in my pocket and I don’t even bother to look at it or silence it. I direct my focus to Raeva.
“I can’t say that I have a lot of experience with relationships. In fact, I think my knowledge of relationships is tragically abysmal at best. But even I know that you don’t just leave someone with no explanation. Talk to me baby, please.”
A tear spills from her eye and rolls down her cheek. I lean in and kiss it away.
“I’m sorry, Mika. I should not have left like that but…I just…I don’t know…seeing you with all those women…I mean I scrolled through hundreds of pictures and they were just from the last three months, Mika. How am I supposed to believe that you are suddenly this one-woman man for someone like me? Some plain jane woman that you screwed a few times? I can’t have you break my heart and I won’t make a fool of myself, and I refuse to be one of many. I am sorry Mika, I just can’t…”
I press my mouth on hers, silencing her rant. I feel her melting into me briefly before she pushes me away.
“Mika…”
How can she not know how I feel about her?
“Listen to me, Raeva. I cannot change what I was before I met you. I have never tried to hide my past from you. I am quite sure I have told you that I didn’t live like a monk. Yes, I have fucked a bunch of women, many of which I can’t even remember. And yes, that makes me despicable. Sex was always a bodily function, a way to relieve stress…”
My phone starts ringing again and I choose to ignore it again. I tighten my hold on her as she starts to try and get away from me. I need her to hear me out.
“And when you have willing women throwing themselves at you…well let’s be honest here, not many men would say no. I didn’t say no. But I have never cared about those women or my reputation before you walked into my life. What I can do is show you that since meeting you, I don’t want anyone else. I wish to God that I had any indication I would meet you someday. I would have waited for you and only you but I also never thought there was anyone for me.”
I pull her closer to my chest.
“Oh baby, how can you not know? How is it possible that you don’t realize how you have changed everything for me? I have lived my entire life in the dark and when you walked into my world you turned on the light. Everything I couldn’t see before, couldn’t feel before, didn’t know before, is crystal clear now. I can’t go back to living my life in the dark. I do not want to be without you, Sweet Pea.”
She lifts her head up to look at me. Slowly her lips curl into that mischievous grin I adore.
“You know, for someone who sucks at this that was pretty damn good,” she smirks.
I can’t help but smile back at her.
“We can work anything out together. You can’t just leave. Please come back with me and we’ll talk about everything.”
She stands on her tiptoes and brushes her lips against mine.
“Okay,” she breathes.
My phone starts ringing yet again.
“Maybe you need to answer it,” she whispers.
I yank my phone out of my pocket and don’t even bother to look at who is calling as I press the green button on my screen.
“What?” I snap to the unsuspecting person on the other end of the line.
I listen and the voice on the other end turns out to be Eric. He tells me to sit down and, as usual, I ignore his advice but as the next words come out of his mouth I immediately regret that decision.