It is almost funny how trivial a lot of things feel when you know that you are about to die. Regret seems to be the leading lady in the movie of my life. I regret my blatant disregard for my safety not once but twice today, I regret not calling Jill to come get me, I regret not seeing what a psychotic asshole Jasper is, and I regret not being able to get out of here to warn Mika of the danger he’s in. But most of all, I regret not telling Mika how I feel about him because now he will never know. I mentally start to say goodbye to the world when the door quite literally gets kicked off its hinges. Relief floods through me when Mika appears, closely followed by Sean and Clark.
“Get your goddamn hands off her!” Mika bellows.
Jasper snaps out of the sort of trance he’s in. His eyes widen and he releases his hold on my throat. Mika grabs Jasper by the collar and pulls him away from me. My hands fly around my throat and I desperately gulp for air. I can hear my heartbeat in my eardrums so loudly it is as if that is where my heart is located. I watch Mika punch him square in the jaw hard enough to drop him to the floor, where he is immediately detained by Sean who directs Clark to call the police. Mika leaps forward and takes me into his arms. I bury my head in his chest and start to sob uncontrollably. Mika gently strokes his hand over my head, soothing me.
“It’s okay, Sweet Pea,” he whispers. “I’ve got you, you are safe now,” he says as he starts to inspect me.
“Did he hurt you?” Mika demands.
I shake my head.
“Not until after I kicked him in the balls,” I say, my voice breaking.
He tightens his hold on me and kisses the top of my head.
“That’s my girl.”
Mika turns to look at Jasper.
“If you ever come near Raeva or my sister again, I will kill you myself and not think twice about it.”
I can feel the rage seep out of Mika.
“Get him the fuck out of my sight before I kill him right now,” Mika growls.
Sean simply nods and gestures for Clark to help him. Mika redirects his focus back to me.
“How was he able to take you?” Mika asks.
“Jasper works as a physical therapist at Hillcrest. He’s worked with Mikaela, too. I…I was trying to get away before you got there and I ran into him in the hall. I asked him for a ride, Mika. It was my own fault. By the time I realized I was in danger, it was too late.”
Mika cusses.
“His name isn’t Jasper. His name is Sam Clayton. He’s a very disturbed individual and is the same asshole that’s claiming to be Mikaela’s husband. The same piece of crap that has been dragging my name through the mud and accusing me of trying to murder my sister. I would have never let you anywhere near that place if I knew that piece of shit was even in a five-mile radius. When I saw you leaving with him on the security footage I thought I was going to lose my mind.”
Mika runs his hands through his hair.
“I don’t know how this even fucking happened. We couldn’t find out anything about that piece of shit at first but then we figured out he was using a fake name. He was obviously using a different name while working at Hillcrest. I have a detailed list of who works there.”
He sees the surprised look on my face and adds, “My sister and my girlfriend are in that building. I need to know who is in that building, Raeva. I won’t apologize for wanting to keep the both of you safe.”
Mika leans in and our eyes lock.
“Don’t you ever fucking do something like this to me again. You have taken twenty years off my life today. You have to promise me that you will not ditch Clark again. If you don’t like Clark we can get somebody else, but you will be protected at all times. I have come too close to losing you today. I can’t have that happen again.”
My first instinct is to tell him how sorry I am—because I am, I really am. But then I remember the pictures and that opens the door for so many questions that I need him to answer.
“There is something that you need to see,” I tell him.
I turn and head into the room that is plastered with our pictures. I was in this room only minutes ago but when I walk back in and see the walls that are covered with our images, the turmoil of emotions that overcomes me is like a punch to the gut. Mika follows me and I hear him cuss to himself when he sees the pictures.
“That sick son of a bitch has been stalking us,” Mika growls.
I raise my eyebrow.
“Sick son of a bitch?” I ask him. “Is that what you call somebody that is stalking you?”
He looks at me, bewildered.
“What the hell else would you call it?” he snaps at me.
I scoff.
“You have some nerve snapping at me,” I shoot back. “Talk about the pot calling the damn kettle black.”
I rip a picture of him walking into Heritage Memorial Hospital off the wall and hold it out in front of him. I drop the picture on the floor and walk over the wall that has the pictures of me on stage at the bar where Mika is staring at me and point.
“This was taken before we met. How do you explain that?”
The expression on Mika’s face turns from irritation into contrition.
“Are you a sick son of a bitch, too? Because it seems to me that Jasper isn’t the only one here proficient in stalking,” I bite out.
“Surely you can see that what he did and what I did are not the same thing.”
I frown.
“What exactly is different?” I snap. “You followed me around and watched my every move, just like he did to you. Do you know that he told me that he started to notice me because you were watching me?”
Mika cringes.
“It is not the same thing,” he says as he carefully takes a step toward me. “I just didn’t know how to approach you. When I first saw you I wanted to know more about you. I knew from the very first time I heard your voice that I had to meet you. But then when I saw you, and nearly fell over, I knew I had to find a way to get to know you. I wasn’t trying to stalk you but I was keeping tabs on you. When I discovered you were out and celebrating, I had to see you.”
Not for the first time I feel my resolve weaken. I can feel the sincerity of his words and it touches me.
“That still doesn’t make it okay or not creepy. Why didn’t you just approach me that night?”
“I didn’t want to be just some guy you met at a bar. I wanted us to—”
“You wanted to control how we met, so you could control my opinion of you before I found out about your shady past with women,” I interrupt. “Mika, you were trying to manipulate me into having a relationship with you. Why the hell would you think that was necessary? You clearly had no faith in me or in us at all.”
Mika looks as me, frustration clear on his face, but he doesn’t say a word so I continue.
“And what about my job? Do you know that Mrs. Sims has made my life miserable since day one because of you? What else have you manipulated to fit your needs?”
“Do you want to know why? I was scared, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”
“If that’s the truth, then yes.”
“Having faith in you or in us has nothing to do with anything. Don’t you see that I was trying to get you to like me before you found out that I am not, and never will be, good enough for you? You are everything that I never knew I wanted and everything that I never thought I deserved.”
Mika takes another step closer and I take a step back. I need to remain at a small distance to keep my head clear. Mika sighs.
“As for your job, I didn’t want just anyone taking care of one of the most important people in my life. I had seen you in action at the hospital, caring for a total stranger in your damn spare time. I knew that Mikaela would be in good hands and that you would love to work there. I did my research, and found that you had already submitted an application; all I did was select the best possible candidate to take care of Mikaela.”
Although I definitely do not agree with his methods, I can’t help but be flattered by his reasoning for doing what he did. But I also cannot accept this kind of behavior and set the wrong kind of expectation.
“You can’t control everyone and everything in your life. And I do not want or need to be controlled, Mika. I am not one of your employees who jumps at your every command. I need you to understand that.”
“I do understand that, Sweet Pea. I would never dream of trying to stifle the amazing person that you are or try and control you. But you in turn will have to understand that I am going to stop at nothing when it comes to your safety. I am a very wealthy man, and unfortunately that comes with many envious people. I can’t say that I don’t have any enemies. I need to know that you are safe at all times and I will go through any lengths necessary.”
“Keeping me safe and stalking me are two entirely different things, Mika. How am I supposed to just forget that you basically stalked me and manipulated me into falling for you?”
“I know what it looks like and I am sorry. I should have just manned up and approached you the first day. Honestly, I think I was just freaked out by the fact that I actually wanted to get to know you and I had to come to terms with that before I met you.”
I sigh and I cradle my head in my hands. When I look up after a moment I see Mika has inched a bit closer. I hold up my hand.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, because I am beyond grateful that you got here when you did, but explain to me how the hell you knew where I was.”
“I tracked your phone.”
“You tracked my phone?”
“Fuck yes I tracked your phone. I watched you leave the building with that crazy son of a bitch, I needed to get to you fast. Like I said, when it comes to your safety there isn’t a line I won’t cross.”
Mika closes the distance between us with purposeful strides and pulls me into his arms. He leans in and our gazes meet.
“No Mika, stop,” I sigh. “I don’t think that I can do this, Mika,” I say, my voice breaking on the last syllable. “I’m sorry. I am not sure if I can ever learn to trust you, or anything that you tell me for that matter.”
I push myself away from him.
“After seeing all this,” I say, gesturing around the room, “After everything that has happened today…I need some space.”
“Some space? What does that mean?”
I take a couple steps back, creating the distance I desperately need in order to proceed with this.
“Exactly what I said. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to talk to you, and I don’t want you following me around.”
The look on his face almost sways me. He looks broken, destroyed, but I tell myself to be strong.
“Raeva, please,” he breathes.
Tears are streaming freely down my face.
“No, Mika,” I choke out. “No.”
I don’t even bother to wipe the waterfall of tears because I already know there’s no use.
“At least let Sean take you home, please. So I will know that you are safe,” he pleads.
A woman with a camera walks in and panic starts to boil inside of me. I immediately grab hold of Mika. Then I notice the police logo on her jacket. She is just taking crime scene photos. I relax some. Good Lord, I don’t think I will ever feel comfortable having my picture taken ever again. The officer that comments on Jasper’s handiwork on the walls asks us to come into the station and give our statements.
“She has been through enough for one day, don’t you think?” Mika tells the man, voice irate.
Even now, after I clearly hurt him, his first instinct is to protect me. The officer apologizes and agrees to let me come to the station in the morning. I let go of Mika, who I now realize I have been clinging to. I once more take a few steps to create some distance between us—knowing I need this distance from him so that I can be strong.
“Will Jill be home when you get there?” he asks, voice on edge.
I have not even thought of that and the prospect of being alone tonight is not a welcome thought. Mika seems to understand that my silence means that I don’t know. He pulls out his phone and punches in a text. After a moment, he looks up from his phone.
“She’s on her way home. Sean will take you.”
I am too exhausted to argue and all I want is to get out of here. Mika takes a step toward me but stops when he sees me take a step back in reaction.
“I’ll give you space, Raeva. But I won’t give up on us. I need you,” he says.
It looks like wants to say more but he slams his lips shut, takes a few steps toward me, and gently kisses my temple. I hear him breathe in my scent as he steps away from me.
“Sean!” he snaps.
Sean immediately appears out of nowhere. The man seriously needs a damn bell.
“Sir?”
“Take Ms. Ray home, please.”
“The apartment, sir?”
Mika is silent for a moment. I can clearly read the hurt on his face but he recovers quickly, his facial expression as stoic as ever.
“No, her house,” he says as he avoids eye contact. “Make sure Ms. Baldwin is present before you leave her,” he adds before he turns on his heel and leaves. I watch Mika Kingsley walk out of my life but I know he lives in the million pieces that now make up my heart.