Nitro

The flush that rose in her cheeks as she tried to free her hand from my grip had me wanting to grin, but I fought it down, not wanting to frustrate her any more than I already had. But damn, she was still the sexiest woman I’d ever laid eyes on. Fuck, I wanted to strip her out of her pin-up outfit right now and claim her for my own again. Wanted to get my hands and mouth onto her, get my cock deep inside her. Because, fuck it all, but this woman was mine. Always had been, always would be.

When she still hadn’t made a move to sit down, I shifted my grip onto her hand, lifting it so I could kiss the backs of her fingers. A shudder ran through me as I inhaled her scent, fresh and floral, just like it had been back in school. She must still use the same body wash even all these years later. My cock, which had been hard since the moment I saw her standing in the middle of Retro Funk staring off into space, jerked behind the fly of my jeans, growing even harder and begging for some attention. Unfortunately, since there was no way for me to rearrange things discretely, I was just going to have to put up with the discomfort for the moment. I wasn’t sure how Cin would handle knowing how desperate I was for her, but considering how skittish she was, I didn’t think it would go over well. Her behavior also made me even more determined to get her to tell me what was going on. Something that became more likely to happen when, with a sigh, she finally gave in and sat down. I followed suit, and sat opposite her at the little table I’d led us to. Not wanting to waste any more time, I asked what I wanted to know.

“Why did you really leave Bridgewater all those years ago? Does it have something to do with what has you running scared now?”

Her eyes welled with moisture, leaving me wincing. Fuck it all, maybe I should have eased into the questions rather than jumping straight in. Ah well, too late now. But I needed to get her to understand she could tell me anything, that I’d handle whatever it was.

“Cin, I’m not an eighteen year old kid anymore, I’ve spent ten years in the Navy, as a SEAL. I’m a member of the Charon MC. And every one of my club brothers will help me keep you safe, I just need you to lean on me. Let me help you, tell me what’s got you scared to live your life.”

An extremely brave waitress chose that moment to interrupt us, and after we both ordered the special, which I ordered without having a fucking clue about what it was, she left us to it.

“So many haven’t believed it.”

Her voice was small, almost a whisper.

“You know me better than that, you know I’ll always believe you. Well, except if you tell me you’re fine, that I won’t believe. Nor will I leave you alone.”

She shook her head as she looked up and blinked rapidly. Dammit, I didn’t want to make her cry. The waitress brought over two glasses of iced tea before leaving us again.

“I have no idea who it is. Never have.”

My heart started to ache. I’d been right, dammit. Someone was fucking with her, and she’d been suffering through it with no fucking help all these years. I pushed down my anger that she’d not trusted me with what was going on back then, because from here on out, she was going to fucking trust me with it.

“What happened that July, when you broke up with me and left town?”

She glanced around us. My gaze followed hers and I knew my brothers at the table closest to us were the only ones who might hear what she said. The others were out of ear shot, not that it mattered. If they did hear, they wouldn’t let on. And if they didn’t, they’d be hearing the story from me at church.

“After the car accident, I got a note. It had been hand delivered to the mailbox at home. It said they’d caused the accident and that if I didn’t cut all ties with you, worse would happen. I told Mom about it and she told me it was a prank, to ignore it.” My heart clenched when she paused to use her napkin to dab at her eyes. “The next one was in my locker at school. That was on the day Whiskers died.”

I winced as I remembered that day. She’d been so upset when she’d told me she couldn’t see me anymore. I’d figured she’d just been overwhelmed with her parents’ accident and the loss of her pet, I didn’t take her request seriously. I loved her, and wanted to be there for her, not leave her hanging when she was so clearly hurting, so I’d refused to accept her leaving me.

“That’s why you left? Because I refused to allow you to break up with me?”

Her body shuddered as she pressed the napkin to both her eyes, hiding her face from me. Her shoulders rose and fell as she took a deep breath, before she lowered the paper and lifted her red-rimmed eyes to mine.

“It sounds fucking stupid when you say it like that, but I was a kid. No one would believe me. Mom said cats got hit all the time by cars, that the notes were just some bully being cruel and screwing with me. The police agreed with her. I did the only thing I could think to do, and that was getting the hell out of town. With Mom being so busy, it wasn’t hard to convince her and Dad to let me move up to Houston to live with Grandma.”

“And did you get more notes after the move?”

She nodded her head before she reached for her glass of iced tea.

“It was years later before I got brave enough to risk going out on a date. We went out for a nice dinner, but the entire night I was so nervous that my stalker would do something. He ruined the night without having to lift a finger. My date gave me a brief kiss at the end of the night and I never heard from him again. Then, the next morning I discovered my car had been keyed up both sides―I had to park out on the street when I lived with Grandma―and another note was in the mailbox. He was still watching. Well, at least I assume it’s a man. I guess it could be a woman. I’ve honestly got no fucking idea.”

The waitress turned up with our food and I used the time to try to get my temper under control. This bastard had been fucking with her for nearly twenty years. She’d had basically no life outside of work thanks to his stalker bullshit.

“He leaves you alone at roller derby games?”

She picked at the fries that came with her burger for a few moments. “I’ve never received a note from him about it, so I guess he doesn’t have a problem with me being close to other women. He doesn’t seem to have an issue with me working at Titanium either, although I suspect that’s more because he’s not found his way inside, but I could be wrong.”

Her face flushed again and I didn’t think it was anger that had her suddenly very interested in her burger.

“What kind of place is Titanium?”

She just shook her head as she chewed, refusing to answer my question. Interesting. Guess I’d have to get that one out of her later.

“Do you really think you’ll be able to catch this guy?”

Of course I did. In fact, her lack of faith in me was a little insulting, to be honest, but I didn’t get mad at her over it. She didn’t know who’d I’d become since high school.

“Hell yeah, I do. One of my brothers, Keys, is really good on a computer. He’s going to be setting up some cameras outside of your apartment building and he’s hacked access to the feeds on the cameras outside Retro Funk, Titanium and where you train for your derby thing. We’re going to keep watch for anyone who shows up at all three places more often than they should. I’m also going to have a couple of the prospects hang around near you at all times―”

She held a palm up to stop me talking as she finished her mouthful.

“Seriously? What the fuck? Not to mention all the laws this friend of yours has just broken, I will not be made to feel like a... a science experiment that is being constantly examined!”

Shocked that she’d see things that way, I tried to gentle my tone. “Cindy, isn’t that how this bastard has made you feel for the last what―nineteen years? This will only be for a little while, just until we catch this fucker. I will make sure you stay safe, babe, so you can start living your life again. Whoever this is, has stolen more than enough from us both. I won’t let them take any more.”

She went from looking hopeful to defeated. “But the cops won’t believe us, even if we do catch him doing something.”

I couldn’t prevent the feral grin that spread over my lips. “Babe, you grew up in Bridgewater. You know what my club is capable of. It won’t matter a lick what the police think, justice will be served. I can guarantee you that.”

With that, I let the topic drop and began to eat my lunch. Throughout the rest of the meal our conversation stayed light. She told me stories about her derby family and I shared a few stories from both my Navy days and my Charon family. I hoped like hell when all this was over that she’d be moving back to Bridgewater with me. I needed her in my life. She was the missing puzzle piece that had prevented me from truly being content, no matter what I did.

Cindy

After lunch, Johnny, I mean Nitro, had walked me back to the shop before he headed off. He’d wanted to take me out to dinner after I finished work, but I’d refused his offer. I wasn’t sure he realized what could potentially happen after our lunch. If my stalker had seen any of it, anything could happen. I had no clue what having Nitro back in my life would do to him, even if we didn’t do anything romantic. Nitro was the thing that initially set off this nut-job so it made sense him coming back into my life would send him over the edge again.

Thankfully, I worked a full day at the store on Tuesdays, and the afternoon was busy enough I didn’t end up with time to dwell on any of it. But as five o’clock crept closer and the customers dried up, I found myself with way more time to think. To wonder if telling Nitro had been the right thing to do, to over-analyze, and basically get myself totally worked up over every possibility.

“I’m being stupid. This is just like every other Tuesday.”

After giving myself a little pep talk as I locked up, I hopped in my car and headed from the shop back to my apartment to get changed for practice. It was strange to have two Harleys follow me the whole way, but at least this time I knew for sure I was being watched. Over the years, the not knowing where or when I was being spied on had just about driven me insane at times.

When I pulled up outside practice, the rumble of the bikes got louder as I got out of my car and they pulled up behind me. Not sure what exactly they were planning to do, I went to talk to them.

“Um, I’m going to be here for hours so you really don’t need to hang around.”

“Ma’am, if Nitro found out we left you unprotected, our lives would be shortened considerably.”

“Yeah, he’d fuck us up like you read about.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. The first guy had tried to be all polite southern charm with me, while the second one clearly didn’t have any kind of filter.

“Okay, well, if you don’t want to sit out here in the parking lot, there’s an area inside where you can sit and watch us practice.”

Since I was going to have to tell my entire team about what was going on now that I had two biker bodyguards following me everywhere anyway, I might as well do it now. Then, none of the team would worry whenever they saw them around me.

I couldn’t help but shake my head at how fucked up my life had gotten as I walked into the large, converted warehouse that was Her Royal Hellions’ home base. Before I put my skates and helmet on, I started with some stretches and warm up as I waited for the others to arrive, knowing I wouldn’t have to wait long. By the time I was lacing my skates up, most of the team was there.

“What’s with the hot bikers?”

I chewed my lower lip as I ran my gaze over my teammates. As much as I’d expected the women to ask, and that I knew I had to tell them, it didn’t change the fact that I didn’t want to confess to them about my stalker. Now that both Natalie and Nitro believed me, I was trying to let go of the worry that no one else would. But I’d been telling myself that for so long, it was hard to snap out of it. And I knew my friends would be hurt that I’d kept the secret so long from them. Her Royal Hellions were more like a family than a sports team and they were not going to be happy that I hadn’t told them a long time ago. And honestly, after so many years of doing my best to keep it to myself whenever something happened, having everyone suddenly wanting to know about my past was a big mental adjustment for me.

“Ah, they would be my new bodyguards.”

Silence greeted my statement. Along with a few glares and frowns.

“You know you can’t leave it there. Spill, sister.”

Holding Renee’s gaze, I took a deep breath. I had no idea how any of them would react, but it was Renee’s reaction that could make the most impact on my life. She could tell me to get out of her apartment.

“It’s a bit of long story. So, ah, it turns out I have this stalker...”

For the third time in as many days, I went through all the details of my past and how this bastard had shaped my life for past eighteen years, eight months, two weeks and five days. The story rolled off my tongue easier now I’d gone over it a few times recently.

None of my derby family interrupted me, and every time I glanced up, Natalie was there giving me a smile and nod for encouragement as I spoke. When I was done, silence filled the large space. Reaching down, I adjusted my knee pads, then my elbow and wrist ones. Hoping someone would say something soon, because I had no clue what else to say.

“Holy fucking shit, Cindy! Why haven’t you mentioned this asshole before now? We would have helped you.”

Tears pricked my eyes and my heart swelled with love for my family. “I couldn’t risk that you’d react like my mom and the police did. Ya’ll are basically the only family I have left now. My aunt hates that she has to employ me and is constantly suggesting I leave. My parents moved to Florida years ago and don’t visit much at all. You’re all I have left. I couldn’t risk losing you over this shit.”

My voice cracked with emotion and I closed my eyes against the burn of tears. The next thing I knew, I was being pulled up from my seat and I found myself in the middle of a group hug.

“Never, Sin D Ella!” Renee calling me my derby name had me chuckling through my tears. “You’re one of us. And actually, after hearing all of that, so much makes sense now. This stalker is why you don’t date, right? Why you turn down all the Doms at the club and basically refuse all contact with men?”

I nodded as I wiped the tears from my face. “Although, it looks like Johnny―I mean Nitro―wants to brave my stalker’s wrath. I don’t think he’s going to really give me choice about it, actually.”

“Oh, is he a Dom?”

I shook my head a little. “I don’t think so, at least not a trained one. He definitely has a dominant vibe going on. He’s all alpha male, always has been. And he spent ten years in the Navy SEALs.”

The hug broke up and Renee fanned herself. “Uber protective SEAL vet, who also sounds like he may be hiding a Dom in there too. Phew, be still my heart!”

“You need to bring him to Titanium so we can all check him out while he gets run through his paces!”

“...and see how he handles Cindy’s kinky side.”

Within minutes we were all laughing, but inside there was a spark of fear that Nitro wouldn’t accept my kinks. Not that I knew exactly what my kink was just yet, but I’d seen plenty of scenes I’d love to try out. I wasn’t sure I could survive Nitro rejecting the idea. I knew I couldn’t survive without Titanium. In the beginning it was simply a safe place for me to relax and work. And even though I may not have scened with a Dom yet, I’d liked what I’d seen over the years and craved to have a man take care of me like the Doms did their subs. I wanted to be able to explore my sexuality there with my friends around me. If I had to give up Titanium, it would be like slicing off a part of my heart and soul. But losing Nitro again would leave me bleeding in the same way.

“Alrighty, ladies! Enough talk, let’s skate! Warm-up laps, then we’ll move onto practicing blocks. I’ve got a couple new plays I want us to try out.”

As I made my way out to the track, I shook out my shoulders and arms, forcing all thoughts from my head except for roller derby. Once on the track, I pushed off and along with my teammates, started doing laps. I loved derby, loved the skating, how free I felt when I was moving this fast. I loved how we ribbed each other and shoved at each other, the fun we had together. I was quite sure that without roller derby or Titanium, I would have gone mad years ago from the pressure of feeling like I was under a microscope most of the time.