Nitro

I had no fucking idea what had changed between leaving the restaurant parking lot and arriving at Cin’s place, but something had. She’d been as hot as I’d been before we left, but now she’d gone cold. She sat staring out the windshield, chewing on her bottom lip like she was trying to solve the world’s problems by herself tonight.

“C’mon, babe. Let’s go up and order some food.”

I wanted her more than my next breath, but I wasn’t going to force things. It’d been a long time since we were last together. I knew we needed to take a little time to reconnect, that it would be better holding off until we did talk a bit more. Hopefully sharing a meal in the comfort of her apartment would be enough for her to accept me. Or at least tell me what the fuck had happened on the drive over.

I got out and went around to open her door for her, but she’d beat me to it. She’d just swung her legs out but hadn’t stood up yet. I looked down into her eyes and my gut clenched at the pain in her eyes. Crouching down in front of her, I took her hands in mine.

“Cindy, nothing has to happen tonight you don’t want. We’ll head up, order in a pizza or something, chat and catch up. If things get heated again, that’s great—if not, that’s fine too. Okay?”

Although, it wouldn’t be easy to be in her house, her bedroom, surrounded by her things with her scent in the air and not be naked with her, to be able to touch her all over. Fuck, I’d give just about anything to be able to make love to my Cin again.

Slowly, I stood and pulled her up out of the seat. Once her door was shut, I locked the car up, and not releasing my hold on her hand, I led her over to the elevator. As soon as the doors slid shut, closing us inside, she cleared her throat.

“So, ah, are there women at the Charon MC clubhouse?”

I frowned as I tried to work out what she was really asking.

“Sure. Some of the brothers are married and their old ladies come around sometimes.”

“Old ladies?”

Why did so many women have such an issue with that damn title?

“It’s not a derogatory term, Cin. An old lady is a brother’s wife, or partner. They also wear their man’s property patch. Again, it’s not a derogatory thing. Quite the opposite. It’s a sign of respect, to be the old lady of a brother and to wear his property patch means you’re part of the club. That the entire club has accepted you into its ranks and every one of them will have your back if anything happens. Makes you family, protected and cherished.”

She shook her head and stayed quiet as we moved from the elevator, down the hall and into her apartment. I let her lead the way and followed her as she moved into the living area and sat on a couch. My ass had barely hit the seat beside her when she started up the conversation again.

“But I’m not your old lady and the club is helping me. What does that make me?”

Fuck it all. How do I explain this in a way she won’t kick me out for pushing her too hard, too fast?

I turned so I was facing her, and took her hand between both of mine as I looked her directly in the eye.

“You grew up in Bridgewater, Cin, you know the stories that float around about the club and what they’ve done in the past. Most of that is based on truth. Doesn’t matter who you are, old lady, club whore, even if you were a complete stranger to the club—if the Charon MC got word of what you’d been living through, that the cops were ignoring the whole thing, they’d have stepped up to deal with it.”

Her eyes hardened and I tried not to squirm under her intense stare.

“I’ve never heard of the club taking care of a perfect stranger, and I’m not sure I like the sounds of the other option. What the fuck is a club whore?”

Yeah, I should have known I’d fuck up that explanation where I tried to leave out the important shit. But since there was no way in hell I was going to stand for her thinking she was a fucking club whore, looked like I was going to have to lay it all out and hope like fuck she didn’t boot me out the door at the end.

“You will never be a club whore, Cindy. They are women who hang around the clubhouse for the sole purpose of meeting the brothers’ sexual needs. Those women choose to be there for that very purpose, they know what is expected of them before they come in.” I paused to take a deep breath as I hoped she took what I was about to tell her the right way. “Like I mentioned earlier, after you left, I went wild. Stopped caring about pretty much every damn thing. And it was a few of the Charons who took me aside and got me to calm my shit down enough that I didn’t blow my chances at the SEALs. That’s how I first got involved with the Charons.”

I paused to take another deep breath. Nerves were tearing up my gut. How was she going to react?

“Part of their offer to help me was that I needed to come clean about what was going on with my life. So Scout and Bulldog, they’re now the club’s president and vice president, know all about who you are to me. They know I ain’t ever letting you get away from me again. So, Cin, you see, as far as the club is concerned, you’re already my old lady. I just haven’t put a patch on your back yet.”

I was actually fairly certain Scout would have ordered her cut already. He seemed to do that whenever a brother started to get serious about a woman. Cindy had a sheen of tears over her eyes but she didn’t let them fall as she bit her lower lip and continued to hold my gaze.

“I’ve been alone so long now, it’s hard to wrap my head around all of this. To believe it.”

Leaning forward, I scooped her up and put her on my lap.

“I know, babe. I wish we could go back and fix this shit when it first started, but since that’s not possible, we’ll fix it now. Then we can focus on us and setting up our future together.”

She gave me a small nod before her gaze dropped to my mouth. When she licked her lips I was done for. Gently wrapping my palm around the back of her neck, I held her still as I took her mouth with mine. On a groan, she opened up for me and I took the invitation, allowing our tongues to dance and play as I slipped one palm down her body to cup her breast. With a groan of my own, I pinched the tip through her clothes and enjoyed the fuck out of the way she shuddered against me.

Disappointment crashed through me when she pulled away, but I didn’t try to stop her. I was desperately trying to not push her past her comfort zone. Even if it was going to leave me with the worst case of blue balls I’d ever had, we would do this at her pace. With her gaze cast downward, she slipped off my lap and stood.

“Renee’ll be home soon. C’mon.”

Unsure whether she was kicking me out or inviting me to her room, I held my breath as I stood and followed her. Relief flooded me when she turned toward her room. By the time we made it to the doorway, my cock was as hard as steel, ready and hoping things were going to go the way it wanted them to. With a forced calm, I closed the door firmly, before turning to face her. She was so fucking adorable. Clearly, she was nervous as hell, but before I could say a word, she was on me, slamming herself against my front so fast she nearly bounced off, but I was quick to wrap my arms around her to hold her against me.

“Please, Johnny, make me feel again. Kiss me, touch me, fuck me—”

I cut off her words with a shake of my head. I couldn’t stand her thinking I would simply be fucking her. It would never be like that with Cin, it couldn’t be when I loved her as much as I did. “I’ll be loving you, Cindy. I’ll do all that and more, but it’ll be because I fucking love you, always have and always will.”

The way she’d spoken, it had sounded like she had an itch she needed scratched, and I wasn’t going to stand for that. Not from her. She was fucking mine, not some random chick I was banging because I was hard. So, she’d better be doing this because I was hers too. Not just because she was horny and I was handy.

Her expression softened and when a single tear slipped down her right cheek, I lifted my thumb to brush it away as my gut tightened in fear that I’d just done what I swore I wouldn’t and pushed her too much.

“Ever since I left, there’s been this hole in my world. It sounds so stupid, but I don’t know how else to explain it. I’ve tried to fill my life with work and roller derby, friends, Titanium. But nothing’s worked. I’m still lonely, I still miss you, Johnny. I miss what we had. I know it can’t be exactly like that now, we’re not teenagers anymore, but that bond we had? That can be the same, can’t it? Do you think we can find that again?”

She didn’t say she loved me, but that was okay. She’d said a lot of other things that were pretty damn close to it, and she’d told me once a long time ago, so I knew I could earn it from her again.

“We can. We totally can. Now, say you’re mine.”

My voice was little more than a growl, and I fucking loved how her body melted against mine in response.

“I’m yours. Only yours.”

As she spoke, I wrapped my hand in her hair to tilt her head back so I could kiss her again. I fucking loved her mouth, her taste. But I kept the kiss short because as much as I wanted to keep kissing her mouth, I wanted to get my lips on other parts of her I’d been missing too.

“Need you naked, Cin.”

“Hmmm.”

She didn’t say anything else as she stepped back and reached for the bottom of her shirt. She might not have said a word, but the way she paused and raised an eyebrow at me, made it pretty clear what she wanted. With a grin, I shrugged out of my cut, draping it over a chair before I reached over my head to grab the back of my shirt to pull it off. Once it was gone, I looked back to Cin and groaned. Then, I nearly fell to my fucking knees in front of her. She was even sexier now than she’d been as a teenager. Her curves had filled out perfectly, and all the exercise she did showed in the lean lines of her muscles.

Cindy

Here in my bedroom, he wasn’t Nitro. Nope, here he was my Johnny, and when he slipped off his vest then reached for his shirt, I gladly followed his lead, shedding my own shirt along with my bra as fast as I could manage. But then I stalled out. Out of reflex, my palms rose to cover my boobs as I stood frozen to the spot, staring at what he revealed as he twisted to dump his clothes on a chair, followed by his boots.

He had more ink than me, between the tattoos on his shoulders and the huge one on his back. He was so big now, all sinewy muscle and, well, fucking perfection. He’d filled out considerably since his teen years and had reached the potential I’d known he would.

But what would he think of me? I was fit and lean thanks to all the exercise I got with derby but I wasn’t perfect. My butt jiggled, my boobs were bigger and they sagged a little now. Just as I neared a full on panic attack, he turned around and the look on his face, the groan he made, gave me the boost my confidence desperately needed at that precise moment.

“Drop your hands, baby. Let me see you.”

Every word he said reminded me of things I’d overheard Doms say to their subs at Titanium. It raised my hopes that he’d react positively when we went to Titanium. Maybe with Johnny by my side, I could finally get out from behind the bar and join in. Stop being a damn spectator.

Him prowling toward me had me dropping all other thoughts that were running around my head and backing away. My knees hitting the bed forced me stop, and with a dangerously sexy grin, he dropped to his knees in front of me. With one palm sliding around my thigh, then over my ass and up my back, his other cupped my breast, while his mouth latched onto the remaining nipple. I locked my knees when they threatened to give out and slipped my hands into his hair. The suction of his hot mouth and the pinch of his fingers had wave after wave of arousal crashing through my body.

He switched things over so both sides got the full treatment, and by the time he released me a second time, I was nearly mindless with desire. He nuzzled his face against the underside of my boobs while his fingers worked at the zipper of my skirt. His big palms slipped underneath and pushed the material down, revealing the lacy panties, garter belt and stockings I’d put back on after derby practice. I wore them for work to go with the pin-up outfit, but normally after practice I left the stockings and garter belt off. However, tonight I’d been hoping we’d end up here like this so I’d taken the time to put them back on. And I was glad I had when he lightly flicked one of the garter straps.

“Cin, this get-up is sexy as fuck, babe. You wear this under those pin-up clothes every day?”

“Pretty much. Why?”

Cupping my ass in his palms, he pulled me forward as he buried his face between my breasts with a groan.

“Because it’s going to be even harder to not jump you every time I see you dressed like that now I know.” He pulled back enough to stand. “Got a really good feeling we’re gonna get real inventive at finding places for me to have you during the day.”

That left me grinning. “Nothing new there, babe.”

He laughed, as I’d wanted him to do. As teenagers both living at home, we’d had to get creative to find places we could have enough privacy to have sex. Before I could say anything else, he picked me up and tossed me onto my bed.

“Johnny!”

He just smirked at me before he frowned at my waist area.

“Babe, can’t tell you how much I fucking love that get-up, but I’ve got no clue how to get your panties off without just ripping them off.”

With a gasp of horror I shook my head and glared at him. “Don’t you dare start ripping my underwear! This shit’s expensive.”

Reaching down, I made fast work of unclipping my stockings and undoing the garter belt. As I pulled it off, Johnny reached over and peeled my panties down my legs, knocking my shoes to the floor in the process. When he stood back up, I was left wearing nothing but my unclipped stockings.

“You trust me to take these off, babe?”

I nodded and kept my gaze on him as he very carefully slid first one stocking down, then the other. His callused fingers caressed my skin as he moved and shivers wracked my body when he pressed a gentle kiss to the arch of my foot.

“So fucking beautiful, babe.”

With my heart in my throat, I slowly lifted my gaze to look up into his face, almost unable to believe what was happening. What I was hearing. Needing to touch him, I reached a hand up, cupping his face as he leaned forward over me.

“Tell me I’m not dreaming right now. Promise me this is real.”

Turning his face, he kissed my palm before he pulled back to nip at my fingertips.

“This is a fucking dream come true, Cin. I promise you’re wide awake right now, baby, and no fucking alarm clock is gonna go off and destroy this.”

Then he released my hand and dropped to kneel beside the bed. Before I could work out what he was doing, he gripped my ankles and pulled me until my butt was on the edge of the mattress.

“Johnny!”

Before I could get another word out, my breath caught as he ran his palms up my inner thighs, spreading me wider for him. Exposing me completely to his hot gaze.

“Ohhh!”

His tongue swiped up my center and jolts of electricity shot through my body, short-circuiting my brain. His growl was my only warning before he settled his mouth over my pussy and thrust his tongue in deep. It was more sensation than I’d felt in forever and I couldn’t help but try to get away from it, even though him stopping was the last thing I wanted. With another sexy growl, he gripped my hips and held me down as he went back to making a meal out of me.

I fisted both hands in the bedding as my head thrashed, already on the verge of coming. I tried to hold it off, not wanting him to stop so soon. He’d learned some tricks since we’d last been in this position, and I wanted more of his nibbling, sucking and licking before I gave in.

“Fuck, Cin. Give it to me, stop holding back.”

He only lifted away from me long enough to speak, then he was back at me, sucking on my clit as he thrust two fingers up inside me, finding that one spot, and then it was all over. With a scream, I climaxed harder than I think I ever had before.

My brain cleared to discover my body still trembling and the sight of Johnny stripping out of his socks and jeans.

“Hmmm. You still have the sexiest ass.”

He looked over his shoulder at me with a smirk, as he dropped his jeans on the chair with the rest of his clothes.

“Glad you like what you see, babe. Scoot up the bed for me?”

Taking a deep breath for strength, I managed to roll over and start crawling up the bed. I hadn’t gone very far when Johnny wrapped an arm around my middle, scooting me up higher as his other hand hit the bed near my shoulder and his big body covered mine. His soft lips trailed kisses over my shoulder and up my neck before I turned my face so he could kiss me again. I loved how he kissed me, as if he wanted to inhale me with each one. The slight tang of my cream on his tongue did nothing but heighten my arousal.

A small squeak escaped me when he released his hold on me so he could flip me around so I was on my back, beneath him.

“As much as I love taking you from behind, and fully intend to later, I want to look into your eyes this first time.”

Glancing down, I got my first look at his cock. Had that gotten bigger too? I wasn’t sure, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to ask! He was hard, thick and long. And he’d already put a condom on. I wanted to touch and taste and relearn him like he’d done me, but I guessed that would just have to wait until later. Because even though I’d only just come, the need to feel him inside me again was strong. It had been forever, —well, technically it had been eighteen years, eight months- My thoughts broke off and heat filled my face when I looked back up to his face, catching his smug expression at my blatant ogling of his body.

“Looks like you’re all wrapped and ready to go, so what are you waiting for, sailor?”

“Don’t push me, Cindy. I’ve been waiting for this for nearly nineteen fucking years. I ain’t gonna rush it.”

I ran my palms up his arms, leaving them resting on his shoulders when he took hold of his cock and lined the head up with my entrance. My body began trembling when the slight burn hit as he pressed in, stretching me. My grip on his shoulders slipped until my palms were back on the bedding, reaching for fists full of anything to grip onto. My eyes blurred but it wasn’t pain that had me tearing up, but joy. Happiness twisted with the arousal flowing through my body as I took Johnny inside me for the first time in eighteen years, eight months, three weeks and five days. Not that I’d been counting.

Blinking clear the moisture, I took in his face as he watched where we were joined. His expression was so damn sexy. He looked completely enthralled with what he was seeing, so I followed his gaze. I’d lasered all the hair from my pussy years ago, so there was nothing to impede the sight of his thick length disappearing inside my core before sliding back out again. The mix of the visual along with the pressure of taking him inside me after so long left me whimpering and wanting more.