I stare at Ally’s text and debate what to do. I’ve been avoiding her and all my other friends for weeks and it’s starting to become obvious. I don’t want to push them away, but I also need some space right now. There’s too much going on and I need to focus on getting my life in order.

The party sounds like fun, I type up. But I need to stay home and rewrite my resume.

I send the text and fall back against the hard, wooden chair. Footsteps and a few whispers waft through the Town of Cody public library, but mostly it’s quiet. It’s the perfect place to job hunt online or just sit and think.

I’ve been doing a lot of both those things lately.

I thought graduating a couple months ago meant I was closer to my first teaching job. It turned out I was wrong. All of the upcoming year’s teaching positions in the surrounding school districts were filled as much as a year ago. There’s a waiting list. No, there’s a waiting list to get on the waiting list. Where was the career counselor when I needed to find this out? She was probably on one of those damn waiting lists. Now, all I know is if I want to teach, I’ll need to move somewhere else. Or wait a year. Or hope something comes up.

Leaving isn’t an option. Dad’s Parkinson’s seems to have hit warp speed this summer. The rapid change left him depressed, which in turn has taken a toll on Mom. They need me now more than ever. They need me to take care of things. They need me to trust.

They need me to not screw up.

Tears blur my vision and I look down at my lap to hide my crying.

I don’t care that I’ll have to get a job as a waitress or a nanny. Plenty of people do that out of school. I’ll get a teaching job next year.

But it’s the other unexpected turn of events that has me struggling through restless nights.

I blink back the tears and get to work on the library’s desktop. My resume is already written, but I want to reformat it to make it look nicer.

Once I’m done I print out a dozen copies and pack up my stuff.

I take the back streets home, gliding past the small houses on the edge of town and entering the countryside. A late summer haziness fills the air. Soon the leaves will be falling. Soon there will be snow.

My heart seizes up. It’s crazy to think how soon everything will be different.

I clutch the steering wheel and slow down as I turn onto Ello. Tonight, I’ll tell my parents. It’s already been a month since I found out. Soon hiding my news from them won’t be an option.

They’ll be disappointed in me. My mom will probably cry. My dad might get speechless from anger.

It’s ironic. All I wanted to do was keep our family name untarnished, and now I’ve done the opposite. The rumors will spread like wildfire. Everyone will whisper behind my back as I walk down the street.

I don’t care what people think or say about me. I just hate that my parents have to get burned through association. If leaving town was an option I’d take it, but as much as my parents don’t want an embarrassing daughter they also can’t live without me.

Not having options is almost good in a way. I haven’t spent any time agonizing over what I’m going to do.

I knew the second I read the plus sign on the plastic stick that I wasn’t going to tell Nash and Clay I was pregnant.

If they knew they might return for a while. But even if one or both of them stayed things wouldn’t turn out well. They’d come to resent me one day. They’d miss the life I would have taken them from. In the end, all I’d get out of them coming back would be a broken family, a twice shattered heart, and a small amount of child support.

The fraction of money that gets cut from a rodeo cowboy’s check just doesn’t make the rest of the list worth it.

Orange swaths of sunlight sweep across the fields. I drive alongside the sunset, admiring the way it gives the whole world a new color.

At least I still have small things like this. And at least I still have my family.

My hand falls to my stomach and I lightly press against the softness there. I’ve got my first OB/GYN appointment tomorrow. It’s possible that I might hear my baby’s heartbeat for the first time.

Pain sears across my heart. I hate that I’ll never know what it’s like to share that kind of moment with a man you love.

I gulp and shove the pity party aside. There’s no point in having such thoughts.

My car passes the Murphy driveway but I stare straight ahead. All summer long I’ve tried to pretend the ranch next door doesn’t exist. If I accidentally look at that house and remember the good times I had there I might have a mental breakdown.

I manage to keep my eyes on the road all the way to my own driveway. As I turn past the mailbox something familiar appears in the corner of my eye.

It’s a truck parked next to my Mom’s Chevy.

But it’s not just any truck. It’s Nash’s.

My vision blurs and my breathing stops like I’ve been submerged in water. I pull my car up to Nash’s truck and hurry into the house.

Chattering fills the hallway. I follow it into the kitchen and then stop in the doorway. Nash and Clay sit at the table, at the very last place I saw them. My father sits across from them, his back to me. Mom’s at the stove pouring steaming water from the tea kettle into a row of mugs.

I stare at the whole scene, my insides flipping and twisting every which way. Clay and Nash stare back. I briefly glance at them then look to my mother.

“Mom...”

She smiles. “Clay and Nash are back, honey. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Dad cranes his neck to take me in. “What are you pale for?”

I look at the floor. “I’m not feeling very good.”

“Sit down. Your mother’s making tea.”

“I’m fine,” I tensely say.

An unease fills the room. My head pounds. Did Nash and Clay come back specifically to see me? Or are they merely in town and just stopping by for a quick chat?

If they think things are that easy between us now they’re insane. My stomach rolls. A wave of nausea sweeps up, up.

I sprint across the kitchen and out the screen door. My shoes pound against the grass as I push down bile.

I make it all the way to the line of trees next to the horse barn, but then I can’t do it anymore. I fall down onto my knees and vomit into a bush.

A couple dry heaves rack my chest but nothing else comes up. I stand on shaky legs and amble over to the closest fence. Leaning against the wood, I lay my forehead down onto my folded arms.

I’ve had morning sickness, but I’ve never actually thrown up.

But it’s probably not morning sickness. It’s those two.

“Cheyenne.”

It’s Clay’s voice. I clench my eyes shut and don’t move. Footsteps thud towards me.

“Are you all right?” Nash asks.

I straighten up and turn to face them. They’re both just like I remember them. Same chiseled muscles. Same black hats and tight jeans. But there’s also more to them. It’s something I can’t name or understand.

Which of them is the father?

I hook my elbow on the fence and look back at the house. “I’m fine. I just ate something bad.”

They stop a few feet away. I wait to see if one of them will reach out and touch me but neither of them makes a move. Given the way we left things, it makes sense. They probably think I hate them.

I wish I could. It would make things crazily easier.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

Clay smiles a bit. “My dad is retiring. I’m going to take over the ranch.”

“You’re…” My mouth gets dry. “You’re taking over the ranch?”

“Starting right away.”

“But what about the rodeo?”

“Forget the rodeo,” Nash answers. “This is where we want to be.”

Does he mean with me?

I bite down on my bottom lip. It doesn’t matter what he means. Only three months have gone by. People can’t change that fast.

“You’re both staying.”

“That’s right,” Nash solemnly says.

They both keep gazing at me. It seems like they’re waiting for me to make the next move, but I don’t know what to say. The only thing I regret about letting go is how much drama went down before we went our separate ways. I wish I hadn’t cried so much over it too, but letting them go was the right thing to do.

I’m even more positive about it now. The men standing in front of me aren’t family people. I’m not quite sure how they would react to the news of my pregnancy. They could both deny having any involvement.

Despite their showing up, I’m going to stick to the same plan I concocted last week. The baby’s father is a seasonal worker traveling through town. Not only is he long gone now, he has no interest in being involved in raising a kid.

There’s no reason in making this whole thing any more complicated than it already is.

“We miss you, Cheyenne,” Clay says. He hooks his fingers in his belt loops and takes a step closer.

I jerk from his close proximity. One touch and I’ll come undone. I won’t be able to say no to these two again. From there it’ll be a landslide of messes. I’m not going to get myself or my baby involved with such flighty men.

“You need to go,” I sharply say. “I can’t… I can’t do this.”

Nash scowls. “Why not?”

Fury flies through me. “Because, believe it or not, you two aren’t the center of the universe! I have a life. I have other things to think about. Goodbye.”

I cross my arms tight against my chest and storm away.