Prologue, Rawson Lorde
“I’m fucking dead; send me to Hell where I belong!”
I died two days ago, and Heaven and Hell were fighting over my soul.
The woman who sat next to me started coughing. I shifted over, disgusted. She did it again, but it sounded more like she was trying to cover up a snicker. Was my fate fuckin’ funny to her? I’m glad I could be a source of entertainment, but I didn’t see anything funny about this at all. I recently learned her name was Oath, and she was my Guardian Angel.
I didn’t want to believe it, especially someone like me. But here I sat, being judged by both sides.
They both wanted my fucking soul.
The Devil deserved my soul, but not God.
I hated him and had my reasons.
I didn’t even deserve to be judged. It should have been a simple, send him to Hell deal. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be allowed to go to Heaven.
Never.
Not ever.
I didn’t belong in Heaven.
“He cussed again,” the man in the red suit said, who supposedly was the Devil but went by the name Johnny. His slicked back black hair held too much gel, and his skin was tan. “Clearly, he belongs with me.” He flashed me a smirk and a wink, and I immediately felt a cold chill deep within me.
I’ve done worse things than use profanity.
“People use profanity all the time,” Oath spoke up. She lifted her small arm up and pointed at God. “He uses profanity.”
God shrugged his shoulder like it was no big deal. He was sitting next to the Devil and looked like he was a ten-year-old and went by the name Cash. His blond hair was almost white, and even though he looked like a child, he acted like a man. He didn’t glow, he didn’t have long hair, and he sure as fuck wasn’t tall. Johnny and Cash.
Johnny fucking Cash.
I sat here and listened to them debate over me with their ridiculous names, and I realized this was completely insane. But they explained to me that they appear to everyone differently. Every single soul on Earth had a different name for them and saw them differently. Apparently, this is how I saw them, and for some reason, I wanted to call them Johnny and Cash.
I had a feeling why, but those memories were dead to me.
Is this shit really happening?
“Yes, it is.”
The bitch could read my mind.
I flicked my gaze toward her and her hazel eyes. “You’re my Guardian Angel,” I hissed, “and you let me die.”
“I’m not a bitch, and I have rules to follow. I can’t interfere with your actions. Especially when you-”
“Don’t fucking repeat it,” I warned, and she continued to glare at me. I wasn’t sure what to make of her just yet.
I looked back to the counsel. Yes, they had a fucking council out in the middle of nowhere, in a room with tanned marble walls that were crumbling down around us as we sat here discussing something that clearly didn’t need to be discussed. Apparently, there had to be a Neutral Zone where God and the Devil could handle special cases, like mine.
“Just let him go,” Johnny said, making eye contact, “with me. I need him.” Dark images flooded my mind while Johnny stared into my eyes like he was giving me a preview of what he had in store for me. I could hear his laugh in my mind, and I fought to look away.
I knew why he wanted me.
“He wasn’t always bad,” Oath defended me again.
There was a short silence, and then Cash decided to speak up, “I agree with Oath, especially after his last good deed.”
“If I had known,” I didn’t want to say the words, but I forced them out, “that good deed would have killed me, I would never have done it. I would have kept walking and finished the job I was there to do.” I leaned forward in my chair. “I belong in Hell,” I jerked my chin, “with him.”
Johnny stood and buttoned his suit coat. “I love it when I win.”
“You didn’t win anything!” Oath was up and out of her chair, pointing her finger again. She stalked over to Johnny, and even standing on her tiptoes, she was no match for his incredible height. “You know how this works, so get off that high horse.”
“You’re a spunky little shit,” he tossed back.
“You already know that, Johnny.”
Cash stood. “That’s enough you guys.” He walked around the long table full of men and women. They didn’t glow either. They didn’t sprout wings. They didn’t look special. But they all had eyes on me. Every time I looked at one of them, they were already looking at me.
Reading me.
Judging me.
Fucking assholes.
Cash stood in front of me. “If you could refrain from calling my children bitches and assholes, I’d like to get this settled.”
Oath smirked at me and then sat back down. “Told you he cussed.”
“Despite the hour we’ve been in this room, you’ve been dead for two weeks. The police kept your body, trying to figure out who you were, and we kept you in Limbo trying to decide your fate.” He stopped talking, but I knew he wasn’t finished. The whole room was silent, all eyes were on me, and I was going to ignore them but I couldn’t. “I want to show you something, Rawson.” Cash snapped his fingers, and I turned toward the movie roll that popped up in the middle of the room. It flickered a white light, then a picture came into focus. There she was; she held a small box and stood with her toes on the edge of a small hole in the ground.
“She paid for you to be cremated and buried,” Cash informed me and I kept silent.
So, I guess I was in the box.
Her long, curly black hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore a simple long sleeved black dress. She was looking at the hole in the ground, crying.
A man came to stand next to her, a priest I assume, but I couldn’t hear what he said to her because whatever I was watching didn’t have sound.
I didn’t want sound.
I didn’t want to hear her voice.
I didn’t care.
“I want you to listen to this.” Instantly, there was sound, echoing off what remained of the walls that were still crumbling and falling to pieces.
I could hear the slight breeze blowing through the trees, and the dead leaves sweeping at her feet. I could hear the traffic noise in the background, and I could hear her crying.
Fuck.
Why the fuck was she crying?
I was uncomfortable in this chair, this space, and with these people.
I ran my hand over my face and forced myself to watch.
She held the red box with care while she talked. “You saved my life, and I don’t even know your name. I wish I could thank you for what you did. I wish I could show my appreciation. I wish someone else was here, but no one came for you. No one. You’re all alone, and yet you did the most selfless act any human could do.” She sniffed a few more times. “Whoever you are, you’re a good man. I hope you’re resting in peace and one day, we’ll meet again.” She sat down with her knees in the grass and pulled out the bag of ashes. She slowly opened the bag and dumped the ashes into the hole. The whooshing sound of my ashes tumbling into the hole almost distorted her voice. She nodded to herself, telling the priest that she wanted my ashes to become one with the earth. She said I was too good to have to spend an eternity in a toxic box. As the last of my ashes collected in the hole, she silently folded the bag and placed it in the red velvet box. Closing it with a soft click, she took a deep breath before sitting it next to her. She wiped a tear from her face, then grabbed a handful of dirt and slowly poured it on top of my ashes. “Thank you,” she whispered again. “Thank you so much.”
Another snap of the fingers and her sweet, soft voice had died in the room. The walls that were crumbling around us were almost gone, and a gray fog swept over them and started to fill the room. I turned back to Cash but kept my gaze on the floor.
Whoever you are, you’re a good man.
“I’m not a good man. I don’t deserve shit.”
“I do believe that’s for me to decide what you do and don’t deserve,” Cash said as the smoke covered his feet and started to snake up his legs.
“Rawson, you’re going back.”
I snapped my head up. “Going back?”
“To the Ground.”
“Ground?”
“Earth,” Oath whispered with hope in her voice.
“Don’t get too excited, Oath,” Cash said without looking at her. He was staring into my eyes, and I got the feeling he was preparing himself for my reaction. “You won’t be human.”
“What the fuck?”
He snapped his fingers and the table of people disappeared. Johnny tried to speak and Cash snapped his fingers again, which made him freeze up.
The fog was filling the room and fast; we were all starting to disappear. I felt Oath stand at my side, and I felt like I had to stand also.
This was it.
My punishment.
“We have an opening.”
I heard Oath gasp and at the same time, she slipped her hand into mine. She held it tight, despite when I tried to pull away. I didn’t hold hands with people; my Guardian Angel was no different.
“You’re going to the Ground… as Cupid.”
“Yes!” Oath shouted out and spun in front of me. “This is good, Rawson!”
“Cupid isn’t real.”
“You’re right,” Cash said. “He’s not human, and neither are you. We’re at a standstill, and this task will ultimately be used to decide your fate.”
“This will be easy then.”
Cash smirked. “If you think so.”
Oath grabbed both of my hands and looked up at me. She was so short the fog was consuming her quickly. “I get to go! Isn’t this exciting?”
“You’re shitting me, right?”
She smiled at me with a twinkle in her eyes, and she held my hands tight. She looked so pleased and excited while I knew I wasn’t going to like what was coming next. I swear she started to glow but the fog consumed her; and when I looked back up to Cash, the fog filled my eyes and my world went black.