CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Amelia
The next morning, I rolled over feeling dazed and confused. My whole body ached in a wonderful way, my lips bruised with kissing.
I wished more than ever that Carson was there beside me, so I could kiss him again. But he had gone. I wondered, not for the first time, why he’d left.
He doesn’t want to get that close to you.
That was the clearest answer. What else was I supposed to think? He was sending such mixed messages that I found it hard to keep up, but it seemed obvious to me that he was reluctant to make any sort of move in the direction of a relationship.
He’s still attracted to you, but that’s as far as he goes.
It made sense, really. I had been his first real girlfriend, he my first boyfriend. We still felt the flare of that whenever we saw each other. But it was a fire that would not last. I should have known that.
If that’s true, why do I want him so?
I sighed. Sat up. Looked at myself in the mirror opposite the bed. My skin was pale, my eyes huge with bruising around the edges from lack of sleep. I looked happy, but tired. And there was an uncertain, haunted look on my face that hadn’t been there when I arrived at my brother’s house six days ago.
Tomorrow is the twenty-seventh, I reminded myself. My last day here. I would drive away and never see Carson again. That was the way it should be, I told myself firmly. He wasn’t really interested in me.
“But I’m interested in him.”
It was tragic, but true. I really did still want him. He was the only man who made me feel the way he did. I sighed. Told myself to stop being stupid. To enjoy my days here. It wasn’t often I got to see my brother.
I slid out of bed and drew on jeans and a blue blouse that was almost the same color as my eyes. I topped it off with a blue cardigan that was a shade paler, slipped my feet into comfortable flats and headed downstairs for breakfast.
In the kitchen I found Reese, a cup of coffee balanced between her palms. She looked stunning and relaxed as ever.
“Hey, sister,” she said peaceably.
“Good morning,” I smiled, stifling a yawn. “Where is everyone?”
“Good question,” she laughed. “Well, Carson is jogging, I think. And Brett took the kids to the park for a walk. So it’s just us for the next hour or so. You want some toast?”
“Yes, please,” I added, noticing how hungry I was. I bit my lip, remembering how active I had been the previous night. I was always starving after making love.
“Two pieces?” Reese said, back turned to me as she loaded the toaster.
“Please, Reese, yes.” I nodded. I went to the coffee-machine to make coffee and settled back in the chair, breathing in the inviting scents of breakfast.
“You’re leaving us tomorrow?” Reese frowned, coming to sit opposite me, a fresh coffee between her palms.
“Yeah, I am.”
“We’ll miss you,” Reese said sincerely. “The kids have especially loved it. You’re a favorite of theirs, Auntie.” She chuckled.
I was touched. “Thanks. They’re great.”
“They are,” Reese nodded. “We’ll all miss you.”
“Really?” I frowned.
“Amelia Carlyle, you are as insecure as your brother sometimes,” Reese chuckled.
I laughed. I had never thought about Brett as insecure before, but Reese would know better than anyone if he needed reassurance of love. “Thanks,” I said. “I think.”
We laughed. Reese sighed.
“Amelia, I had wanted to talk to you alone.”
“Really?” I frowned for a second time.
“Yes. I know it’s personal, but…oh, there isn’t an easy way to say this!” she sighed. “I see you and Carson together.”
“What?” I put down my coffee cup, not sure whether to be interested or insulted by her words.
“I’m sorry, Amelia. I’m not spying. But…be fair, a blind man would notice you have feelings for each other.”
“Reese, I…” I started. She probably had no idea of our history! What did she think?
“Amelia, I’m not being judgy. I just want to warn you.”
“Warn me?” I frowned. “Of what?”
She sighed. “Carson is…difficult.”
I laughed. “I know that!”
“I know you do, Amelia but…” she ran a hand through her shiny hair distractedly. “It’s not the drink. Or the trauma. I know you know about those. It’s…there were a lot of girls, when he came back.”
“Really?” I frowned. This was news to me, I had to admit. Carson as a womanizer was something I was finding it hard to imagine. I’d sooner imagine him stealing stuff than going after the ladies in a bad sort of way.
“I’m not meaning to put you off, Amelia,” Reese said cautiously. “I just want you to know that…well…Carson doesn’t stick to one woman. Let’s say that.”
I stared at her. “Reese. What are you telling me?”
Reese looked up at the roof. Then back to me. “I’m telling you, be careful, Amelia.”
I laughed, feeling desperate. “Reese, I’m always careful. I’ve been careful all my life. If you mean that I should expect Carson to two-time me, then say it.”
Reese let out a sigh. “Yes.”
“Yes?”
“That’s what I meant, Amelia. I’m sorry. I really, really didn’t want to have to be the one to say that. But someone must.”
“So you decided to just hurt me yourself, so he couldn’t?” I asked. I was angry and I knew it was unfair of me to direct that anger at my brother’s wife. But she had been the one who hurt me and I couldn’t very well lie about it.
“Amelia, please.” Reese closed her eyes wearily.
“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling bad. “It’s just…yes, this is painful for me. Very.” I blinked, looked at the ceiling, determined not to cry here and now.
“I’m sorry, Amelia,” Reese said. She reached across the table to pat my hand. I tensed and she drew away, the gesture incomplete.
“Well, you never know,” I said laughingly. “It’s as well you did. Who knows where he is now?”
“Amelia, don’t be silly,” Reese admonished lightly.
“I’m not silly. I’m serious,” I said, standing and pushing my chair back. “I fully expect he’s next door with the Brownleys, having a marvelous threesome.”
“Amelia, you’re being silly,” Reese warned.
“No, I’m not,” I said tightly. “I’m trying not to cry.”
I turned and walked upstairs, my eyes misting with angry tears as I collapsed on the top step. That was where I was sitting when the front door opened and two pairs of eyes met mine.
“Hello, auntie,” Cayley said cautiously. I sniffed.
“Hey, niece.”
“Is auntie okay?” Josh demanded. “You hurt yourself?”
I sighed, swallowing the fresh lump their concern built in my throat. “No, sweetness. Auntie’s fine. I’m just tired.”
“Hey, auntie!” Brett called up to me, oblivious of my sadness. “You want to join me for a walk? We were planning to go to the cafe for lunch. Will you join in?”
“Please come, Auntie,” Cayley said gently. “You need to have some fun.”
I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly. Her concern moved me more than anything else. “Thanks, Cayley,” I whispered. “Yes, I’ll come along.”
We all wrapped up warmly and soon I was walking with my brother and his kids along the pavement. Reese was there too, but I wasn’t talking to her. I was still angry. She seemed to accept my ire with a kind of indifferent serenity. I was glad she wasn’t angry with me for it.
I still can’t believe she said it. I don’t want to believe it. But she’s not the kind of person to lie.
Reese was the kind of person who hardly ever voiced an opinion, never mind actually told lies. If she said something, she was fairly sure of her facts. I knew she was telling the truth when she said she only had my best interests at heart.
How can I trust him? Or her? Or anyone?
My mind was in a whirl for most of the lunch. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and the food was high-quality and wonderful, but I was distracted.
When we got home, my heart leaped to find Carson already there. He was in the kitchen, the paper spread out, coffee at his right hand. Now maybe I could find some time to be alone with him, to talk and find out the truth.
“I’m going to have a shower,” Brett announced, stamping his feet on the kitchen mat by the back door.
“You do that, sweetie,” Reese called in from behind him. “Kids? Who wants to help mommy with the washing?”
Josh sounded enthused, Cayley less so, but they all trooped off to the laundry, leaving me alone with Carson.
“Amelia,” he said, folding up the news. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“So did I,” I said in a small voice. I looked into his brown eyes and he looked back at me. I wanted to trust the sincerity written there, the feeling. But the words Reese had said were like poison between us. I cleared my throat, trying to prepare words.
Just then, his phone rang. He took it out and looked blandly at the screen. His eyes widened. “Sorry, Amelia. I have to take this.”
He sounded as if he meant it, so I nodded. I was cross inside. This was the ideal time to talk. What was so important that he needed to go now?
As I thought about it, a small thought crept into my brain. A creeping, ugly doubt. I tried to push it aside, but it wouldn’t leave.
I wonder who that is?
I stood and followed him into the sitting room. In the shadow behind the door, I listened to his conversation. My heart stopped.
“No, lovey. No. Listen…”
I closed my eyes. Reese had been warning me. She probably knew all along. Carson was two-timing me. He was already seeing someone else.
I felt my eyes fill with bitter tears. I turned in the doorway and fled back to the kitchen where I closed the door, sat at the table and sobbed.
I tried to rationalize things. I knew I was being silly. I stood and slipped into the hallway and did what I would never normally do. I eavesdropped some more. He was still talking out there.
“…please, darling. Please try and understand…”
I went back to the kitchen and wept.