Chapter 39

 

 

I was getting used to our little arrangement. I still didn’t like it, but I was falling into the routine of things. I spent the days on the beach with my mother, Caroline, and Nicky, longing for the hour that I could see Drew on my laptop.

“Guess who’s coming to see you tomorrow?” Drew asked while I dressed Nicky in new jammies from my spending spree a few weeks back.

“You’re coming here?!?” I exclaimed, turning to my computer.

“No, not yet. Alicia is coming with the kids.”

“Oh,” I said, sounding disappointed.

“I thought you’d be happy to see her.”

“I am, but I’d be happier to see you. I haven’t had sex in almost two months again. I hate it. I’m about to go to a bar or something.”

Drew laughed. “How about you just take care of that yourself until I see you?”

“I’m tired of taking care of it myself. I need you inside me.”

“Damn it. Don’t talk like that. You take care of it yourself—a lot?” Drew asked. Okay, bait taken.

“Yes, I do,” I admitted. Okay, maybe it wasn’t a lot, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Show me.”

“Show you what? Nicky is right here.”

“Start rocking him, and I’ll start reading.”

“Or you could just come her and fuck me,” I whispered close to the screen.

“I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to make love to you.”

“Oh no, Drew. You can’t change everything. Some things have to stay the same.”

“I can’t do things the way I’ve always done them.”

“Some things you can. I don’t want to just make love.”

“What do you want?”

“Well, sometimes I want to just make love. Sometimes I want to have sex, and sometimes I want to fuck,” I explained, whispering the last word again.

“I need to know the difference.”

“I’m not going to explain that to you right now. I’m already wet and throbbing down there.”

“Jesus, Morgan. Start rocking.”

Laughing, I held Nicholas while he watched his daddy through the computer reading him a bedtime story. I could tell Drew was reading faster than normal. It was doing nothing to put Nicky out any quicker. He wasn’t interested in sleeping yet.

Drew and I talked about Alicia coming, making small talk while Nicholas kicked his foot, trying to stay awake and fight sleep that he was more than ready for.

“He’s asleep,” Drew whispered. “Put him to bed and go to your room.”

“Our room,” I corrected.

After securing Nicolas in his bed, I carried the laptop to my bed, positioned it where Drew could see me, and slowly undressed.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Drew asserted in a raspy voice.

Sliding my fingers through my wet folds, I thanked him. “You have to get naked too,” I coaxed.

“Tell me your three sex scenarios,” he persuaded as I watched him undress and take his already full mast erection in his hand. Jesus, I wanted to hold it in my hand like that.

 “The way I see it, they all sort of do the same thing, but for radically different purposes.”

“Like?”

“Well, making love is not about sex, it’s an emotional connection when I want to be as close to you as I can. You being inside me is as close as I can get to you, emotionally and physically,” I explained, rubbing my juices around my swollen nub while my husband watched.

“I like making love. What else?”

“Fucking is purely selfish, all about getting off. You do it, I do it, and I love it.”

“And?”

“Sex is mutually fun, all about entertaining one another.”

“Hmmm, I like the way you think. Which do you feel right this second?”

“Sex, for sure.”

“Why?”

“Because that is what we’re doing.”

“How long do you think it’s going to take for you to entertain me?”

I laughed. “Are you telling me that you’re about to blow your load?”

“That’s exactly what I am telling you. Spread your pussy lips for me.”

Not that it was possible, but I was sure I just got wetter hearing Drew’s dirty talk and watching him pump his muscle in his hand. I spread myself and fiercely rubbed my aching nub. Propping my foot to the bed, I gave Drew the perfect view. I was more than ready, but not until I heard Drew moan and then watched as he spewed into his hand. It was instant after that. I dropped my head back and moaned with him. It was great, not the same as when he would have been here, but nonetheless. It was amazing.

Drew and I talked through the computer for close to an hour about unimportant topics. Drew wouldn’t discuss anything else with me. I hated and loved it at the same time. I wanted us back together. This was crazy and no matter how much I fell into the routine of things, it wasn’t the same as having him there.

***

Alicia and the kids arrived around noon. I was so happy to see her. I couldn’t get over how much the baby had grown. She was so cute and had developed her own little personality. I didn’t see much of Vince that day. He was too busy treasure hunting with Jason and Caroline.

Alicia was just what I needed, and as soon as we had the little ones down she and I had a date on the deck, overlooking the ocean. After a few drinks, we were getting just a tad bit intoxicated.  We didn’t have to worry about Vince; he was camping out at the beach with Caroline, my mom, and Jason.

“One for you, and one for me,” Alicia said, handing me a cold bottle of beer. It was heaven to my lips and taste buds.

Alicia and I discussed issues with her and Celeste for a long time and then moved on to Drew. She told me what she knew from Celeste, but it wasn’t much. Drew didn’t talk to Celeste that way. I knew how he felt about his personal affairs. They were just that, personal.

“I am so over breastfeeding,” Alicia complained after coming back from the bathroom.

I laughed. “Why?”

“Because it messes my period all up. I swear it has not been a month. What?” Alicia said looking at my dropped face.

“Oh, my god.”

“What?” she asked again, not getting it.

“I don’t remember my last period. Drew and I had sex the whole weekend he was here.”

“But you’re on the pill?” she questioned.

“No. I mean, not since I came here. I never packed them and, well, I didn’t really need them I guess.”

“When was your last period?” Alicia asked, taking my beer.

“Um,” I mumbled, counting in my head. When was it? I had been so preoccupied with everything, I didn’t even notice. “The week before Drew was here.”

“Oh man, you’re pregnant.”

I smiled. I was pregnant. I knew I was. Well, I sort of mischievously hoped anyway. Drew wouldn’t stay away from me knowing I was pregnant. And he was the one that wanted another baby, not me. I was sure he was about to get one. It wasn’t like I was trying to trap him or anything. It wasn’t my fault we never discussed that when he was here.

“We need a test. Now!” I exclaimed.

I called my mother to come stay with the babies. I couldn’t wait. I had to know for sure.

“How much have you had to drink? Why do you have to go to the store tonight?” my mother asked before letting us leave.

“I didn’t even drink a whole beer, and I want to go buy a pregnancy test.”

“No, Morgan. Not now,” she complained. I could tell she wasn’t happy about it. I could understand that, but she didn’t know the true relationship with Drew and me. Nobody did and nobody would ever understand.

“Mom, it’s fine. I promise,” I said almost giddily. I was pregnant. I was sure of it, and I was getting my husband back. It wasn’t like I was some teenager trying to trap him. We were married and I didn’t care that Drew had issues to deal with. I didn’t care that throwing another child into our fucked up life probably wasn’t the best plan. I wanted my family back, and I was sure this would do it.

We were only gone maybe twenty minutes and I immediately took one of the three tests to the bathroom. I wanted to make sure.

“Yes!” I exclaimed, holding the little stick between my fingers. I was pregnant and happy about it.

“Dear lord, Morgan,” my mother spoke, dropping to the couch. She wasn’t happy about it, neither was Alicia. They both thought it was a bad idea. I didn’t care. I was happy.

“Alicia, will you stay here with Nicky?” I asked, “Just for a couple days?”

“Why?”

“I want to go to Drew. I don’t want to tell him over the phone.”

“I don’t know, Morgan. I have a bad feeling about all this. I need to call Celeste first.”

“Fine. Mom can you take Nicky for me?” I asked, turning to my mom with a bit of an attitude. They may not have been happy about this baby, but when it came right down to it, it was really none of their business.

“Yes, I will, but not right now. I want you to take a couple days and think about this.”

“Think about what?”

“The whole thing, Morgan. Use your head. You’re not even with your husband right now. I don’t think this is a good idea right now.”

“What is a good idea, Mom? I’m pregnant. I’m going to have another baby, and I’d like to go home and tell my husband in person.”

“Then go,” she waved her hand towards the door with an exasperated breath. What the hell?

I had one hell of a time keeping my mouth shut when Drew called. I wanted to tell him so badly, I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t though. My plane was leaving at six in the morning, and I’d be on the ground by noon. I threatened Alicia with her life not to tell Celeste I was coming. Drew would try and stop me. I was sure. I wouldn’t even use my credit card, I used my mom’s, knowing Drew would call the second he saw the transaction.

Sleeping was impossible. I tossed and turned the entire night, thinking about what the outcome was going to be. Would Drew be mad? What if he thinks I did it as a way to trap him? I didn’t do it on purpose. It just happened. He was the one that wanted me to stop taking my pills. It didn’t stop the entire night. The same questions played over and over until I finally got up a four a.m. and got ready to go.

Leaving Alicia sleeping, I sneaked out into the crisp dark morning. For being sleep deprived the sea salt air left me feeling invigorated, like it was a new beginning. I just hoped that my feeling was correct and Drew was happy about this.

I did doze on the plane, sleeping three of the five hour flight. I started getting nervous during the last hour, and the adrenalin really started pumping as the plane descended. What the hell was I doing? The realization that this could go all sorts of bad finally set in, and I was scared.

The cab drive to the mansion was worse. My blood pumped too fast, my hands were clammy, and I had to talk myself down to calm my breathing.

Celeste met me at the door. She knew. Alicia called her. She smiled a sad smile and told me he was in the office.

“Does he know I’m here?” I asked, hoping she kept her mouth shut.

“Nope, and I’m leaving. You have my number if you need me.” Celeste thought the whole baby thing was crazy too. I could tell she didn’t like it either. Whatever, it was none of her business either.

Breathing one more deep breath, I opened the office door. Drew looked up, dumbfounded that I was there. Standing he instantly came to me.

“What’s wrong? Is Nicholas okay?” he asked with a worried tone.

“Yes, he’s fine.”

“Are you okay? Morgan, what are you doing here?”

“I don’t want to be away from you anymore, Drew. I want our family back.”

Drew smiled, leaned against his desk, and pulled me towards him. “I know you do. I’m working on it.”

“I mean now. Right this second. I don’t want to wait for you to get better or whatever you think you need. I want to help you. I want to be here to help you.”

“I don’t want you here. We’re not going to be in this house anymore. Didn’t you see all the boxes?”

“Boxes? What do you mean?”

“I sold the mansion. We’re not living here anymore. I need to be away from this house, and the memories.”

“Okay, but we’re going to be together again? Now?”

“Soon. I’m trying to tie up all these loose ends so we can do that.”

“What loose ends?”

“Callaway Jewels. I sold out to Malibu.”

“Sold what? Which store?”

“All of them. I’m done with anything that has to do with a Callaway.”

“What does that mean, Drew? What will you do?”

Drew snickered. “I don’t have to do anything, Morgan. We have enough money to last our great-great-grandchildren for the rest of their lives. I thought maybe I’d spend my days on the beach finding treasures with my son.”

“We’re going to live at the beach house?”

“For a while. How do you feel about that?”

“I feel like I love you. What about Deidra? She’s okay with this?”

“Deidra has helped me realize all of this over the past few months. Baby, I don’t care about all of this. I care about you and that little boy. Hey, where’s my son?”

“With my mom and Alicia.” I smiled. “When, Drew? When are you going to be there with us?”

“Three maybe four more weeks.”

“I want to stay here with you.”

“No. I don’t want you here. I’m trying to disassociate myself from this house and anything to do with Callaway. I need you to go back to the beach house.”

“Okay,” I agreed completely shocked and stupefied. He hadn’t been doing what I’d pictured him doing at all. He wasn’t hiding behind work. He was busy, trying to sell everything so he could be with us.

“What are you doing here? I can’t believe you flew here without telling me.”

“I had something I wanted to tell you, and I couldn’t wait.”

“Is it bad?”

“I hope not.”

“What is it, Morgan. You’re scaring me.”

“I’m pregnant.”

Drew came to an upright position, forcing me to step back. “You’re…you’re pregnant? How? When?”

“When you came to stop me from going to Maine. And I don’t really need to explain the how.”

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yes.” I exhaled, seeing the creeping smile I was waiting for.

Drew grabbed me spun me in a circle and kissed me. “You have no idea how happy that makes me, Mrs. Kelley. I love you so much, and I am going to spend the rest of my life being the best husband and daddy I can be.”

“I don’t doubt that, not for one second. We’re going to be okay now, Drew.”

“We are, love, and I can promise you that and stand behind it now. You’re pregnant?”

“I am.”

I spent the entire day telling the movers what I wanted packed. Most of it was being sold. I felt the same as Drew. I didn’t want it either, besides, we didn’t really need it. We had everything we needed at the beach house already.

Drew wouldn’t even let me take most of Nicholas’s clothes. He said we didn’t need to save clothes, we weren’t having a used baby, and it was going to be a little girl anyway.

“We’re going to have plenty of time to shop anyway. Let’s donate them,” he’d told me. I was okay with it. I liked the idea of shopping hand in hand with Drew, picking out pink and purple outfits.

“That’s enough. Let’s go to the movies,” Drew stated, taping up the last box of toys.

“Movies?” Drew and I had never been to movie, not at a theater anyway. We’d gone to more elaborate shows but never to a movie theater.

“Yes, let’s go get a happy meal and watch a movie.”

“Have you ever been to a movie?” Drew asked, sitting in the parking lot, eating fast-food.

“Yes, Dawson used to take me a lot.”

“I should have done more stuff like that with you. I’m going to from here on out.”

“That makes me very happy,” I said, moving closer, letting him bite half my French fry and kiss my lips.

Drew and I sat holding hands in the dark theater. The movie sucked and we spent most of the show making fun of how awful it was.

“We’re really doing this, Morgan,” Drew whispered.

“Doing what?”

“Acting like a real couple out on a date night.”

“We never went on dates.”

“We’re going to now. I promise.”

“Shhhhh,” we both heard from behind us. I guess we were the only ones who didn’t like the movie.

“Let’s get out of here,” I whispered.

That was the last night that Drew and I would be a couple in the mansion. I wasn’t going to miss it at all. I loved the beach in Maine, and I loved the beach on Rodanthe Island even more. Winters in Maine could get pretty crazy.

“Drew, I don’t want everything to change,” I confessed, leaning against his chest while we soaked in our bubble filled tub for the last time.

Drew traced my fingers and kissed the side of my head. “We’ll see, Morgan. Maybe things will be different in the new house. I have a line that I’ve drawn for myself. I’m not crossing that line with you again. I’m afraid of how far it will go if I do.”

“Okay, let’s make our own rules.”

“Like?”

“Spanking. Are you telling me you’re not interested in that anymore?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Answer my question.”

“I love spanking your ass. It makes my dick hard just thinking about it.”

“Then we’re not stopping that. I like it too. Anal? We’re not stopping that either, right?”

“That one is totally up to you. I don’t want it to feel dirty, like my childhood has anything to do with it.”

“I never knew about that until lately. I don’t find it dirty at all. I find it sensual and erotic, something we both enjoy. We’re not stopping that either. The belt?” I continued, trying to decipher Drew’s fine line. 

“Definitely not. I’m not touching you with anything that is going to leave a bruise.”

“I can take it.”

“Morgan, I don’t want you to take it. You shouldn’t want me to hurt you.”

“But sometimes I do.”

“Why?” Drew asked, raising up and spinning me to look at him.

“It’s what we do, Drew. I don’t want everything to change.”

“Morgan, that’s not normal. We can’t be that couple anymore.”

“It’s normal for us, Drew. We don’t have to be like everyone else. Who even knows what normal is?”

Drew took a deep breath and pulled me back to him. “We’re definitely continuing with Deidra.”

“How? Through the phone?”

“We’ll work that out with her. We could fly her to us a couple of times a month and maybe do phone sessions too. I know I am the one that put us here, but I think you have buried issues needing dealt with as well.”

“It’s not all your fault.”

“Pretty much. Come on, let’s get out.”

I did talk Drew into spanking me that night. How pathetic was I? Maybe I did need to talk to Deidra more. I wanted Drew to be rough with me, force himself in my mouth, in my ass, and demand that I do things I’d always thought I didn’t want to do before. He did none of those things. Drew caressed every inch of my body and made love to me with so much emotion. Drew loved me and no matter how fucked up it was, I loved him too.