Chapter 35

 

 

“I cannot believe you did this,” I said, finally getting my husband alone. What a long day, one that I will never forget.

“Are you happy,” Drew asked, closing our bedroom door and pulling me close.

“I am so happy, but I ruined it for you. I was too busy trying to defy your allotted time for me to be home.”

“You were purposely trying to defy me?”

“Sort of,” I confessed, pulling away from him.

“Don’t,” Drew ordered, taking my pack of pills from my hand. I didn’t want to fight over having a baby. I let him put them back in the medicine cabinet, thinking I’d just take one before I fell asleep. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you want to defy me?”

Turning to him, I smiled a defeated, weak smile. I couldn’t say it out loud. I couldn’t admit that I needed him to be an ass. I didn’t want him to. I needed him to. I was saving that one for Deidra.

“Because I didn’t like you giving me a time to be home,” I lied. I didn’t mind that at all. I would have been home long before had Clay been on time.

“I’m sorry. I have been trying not to do that. I just really needed you home tonight.”

“I can’t believe you did this. You went to Rebecca? How did you convince Justin’s parents to bring him here?”

“Actually, Justin was the easy one. He wanted to see you too, and he’s got some pretty awesome parents.”

“He does, doesn’t he?”

“Rebecca was the one that gave me fits. I thought she was going to shoot me at her door.”

“You went to her house?”

“Yes, and she called the cops on me. Luckily, I had her calmed down before they got there, and she told them it was misunderstanding.”

I could see Rebecca doing that. I was sure she hated Drew more than anyone on earth. I didn’t see that changing, but a lot of strange things happened to me that I would have never predicted.

Drew kissed me with a long, deep, passionate kiss that brought out emotions in us both, the fucked up kind that nobody could understand but him or me.

“I need to punish you,” he begged in a desperate tone to my lips.

YES!

I knew Drew wasn’t asking for an erotic ass spanking over his lap. He needed more than that. Call it what you will, but I needed that too. It’s what we did, it’s what we were together, and I don’t expect anyone to understand it. I didn’t understand it myself so there was no way I could explain it.

Okay, maybe I didn’t need that. The first lash from his leather belt caused me to scream. It hurt. It hurt like hell and my ass was suddenly on fire. “Shhh,” he quieted me, rubbing my ass with the palm of his hand. I needed to lie down. I needed to be across the bed where I could stuff the covers in my mouth and hold them tight in my fisted hands. Drew wouldn’t let me. I had to hold on to the foot of the bed, legs spread while I took five thrashings, leaving welts for sure. I could already feel them.

After a long drawn out, screwed up as hell foreplay period, Drew used the electrical current on my clit, sending me to instant orgasm, almost. It wasn’t until he fucked me in the ass, reaching around to my clit that he finally let me come.

“You have no idea how much I love you,” Drew panted, hot breaths to my back. I loved him too. I loved him more than I could comprehend myself.

“I’m still not getting pregnant yet,” I exhaustedly assured him.

“We’ll see.”

I smiled at his response and fell asleep happy with Drew’s hand covering my still burning ass.

***

 

I should have called off the whole operation. Things were going great. I couldn’t have been happier had my life depended on it.  Our last session with Deidra was even good. We laughed and joked about silly things Nicholas was learning, and she talked to us more about our cycle. We were breaking it, Drew was breaking it, and together we were doing it.

I spent the morning sitting on Drew’s lap, creating a Facebook account. I wanted to keep up with Justin’s sports, talk to him, and send him messages whenever I wanted. That was a big step for Drew. I was sure I would still have to let him see who I was talking to, but I didn’t mind that. I would talk to Alicia, Justin, my mom, and Caroline. Even Rebecca, I couldn’t wait to see the pictures of her daughter and watch her grow up. Caroline was so excited that I finally got a Facebook account.

“Oh, Starlight!” I exclaimed, placing my fingers on the home row. I knew she had a profile. I’d seen her on it talking to her daughter and sister.

Drew placed his hands over mine stopping me. I looked over my shoulder, knowing what he was going to say.

“Do you have to do that?”

“You don’t like Starlight?”

“I like her just fine. I’m just not sure I want you associating with your old life in Maine anymore.”

“I spent the whole day with Starlight the last time she was here. You didn’t mind it then?”

“I did mind. That was hard for me, and that was here not Maine. Go ahead,” he offered, trying not to be that man. I smiled and stopped. Baby steps. Drew knew that once I added Starlight, I would see the post from Dawson and Lauren. That was the two that he really didn’t want me connecting with. I would leave it at that, for now.

Celeste ran me out of the office in the early afternoon, wanting to work. I didn’t mind. Nicholas was getting fussy, ready for a nap anyway.

“Have you talked to Alicia?” I asked, standing with Nicholas. I wanted to know what was going on. I couldn’t wait much longer.

“Yeah, she was taking Vincent to the dentist. Why?” Celeste asked suspicious.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that,” I said, leaving them to their work. I couldn’t look at Celeste and keep a straight face.

I spent the whole day, worrying about what happened. Did it work? Did Clay get in? Did he get caught? Was he in jail? No. He couldn’t have gotten caught. It was nearly seven thirty. The bank would have called Drew. He had whatever was in the deposit box. What was in it? What if it was money and he took it and ran? No, he didn’t do that either. Drew wouldn’t hide money there anyway.

I jumped, startled when Drew spoke, coming into Nicholas’s room with me. I’d been jumpy all day. I needed it to be Friday. I needed to put this behind me and stop playing detective. Once I figured out what and why Drew was hiding from me, I would.

“Morgan?” Drew called.

“Jesus, you scared me. Don’t do that.”

“You’ve been jumpy all day,” he noticed. “Hey, did I have to show identification the other night at the restaurant?”

Crap.

“I’m not sure. I didn’t really pay attention. Why?” I asked, lying. I turned my attention to Nicholas, hiding the guilt. I didn’t think he’d notice it that soon. Drew had a migraine that night and was asleep by nine. I was in bed with him, thanking god for his pounding head. Getting his license from his wallet was easy. It was the social security number I had to snoop for.

I waited for his relaxed deep breathing before breaking into his office. The whole thing reminded me of planning my escape, breaking in there to transfer funds from his accounts. I logged on to his desktop, needing to keep an eye on him. Drew slept with his arm over his eyes and I searched through files, folders, and drawers. Nothing I found had his social on it. Why would it. Damn it. Now what was I supposed to do? I was just about ready to give up when I saw the folder with the tab, reading 2013 taxes. Yes! Pulling off a little yellow sticky note, I quickly jotted down the number and got the hell out of there just in time for Nicholas to wake crying.

“I don’t remember showing it. They know me there. That’s so weird. Where else would I have used it?” Drew questioned himself more than me.

“I don’t know. Look at him, Drew,” I derailed the conversation that I couldn’t have without a shamed expression. Drew placed his wallet back to his back pocket and picked up the block, helping Nicholas put the round piece into the round hole rather than the square one he was trying to fit it into. He was so smart. He had the right concept, just not the right block.

Drew never mentioned his license again, not to me anyway. I would get it back the next day and hide it behind one of the many cards in his wallet. He’d think he just misplaced it, I hoped.

I wished I didn’t have such a meddling husband. I wanted to text Alicia and ask her if she had it, what did it look like, was it in an envelope, a box? UGH. I was never going to sleep. Why didn’t I tell her I’d be over for breakfast instead of lunch?

Drew and I played with Nicky on his bedroom floor until he conked out between Drew and me on the plush gray carpet. Drew picked him up, changed him and kissed his sleeping little head.

“What’s wrong?” Drew asked, dropping to his knees and lying beside me again.

“Nothing, why do you think something is wrong?”

“You’re just in another time. What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing really.”

“Talk to me, Morgan. Please.”

Great, now he thought I was upset over us. I wasn’t. I was so in love with us and our little family. “Nothing is wrong. I promise. I’m just feeling a little tired tonight, that’s all.”

“Okay, but I don’t know if I believe you,” Drew said running his hand up my shirt and around my stomach.

“Come on, let’s go to bed.”

Standing, I pulled Drew up by his hands, kissed him and led him to our room.

“Drew, stop. I’m on my period,” I had to say, moving his hands from my ass.

“So, we don’t need that.”

“Can we just go to sleep tonight? Please,” I begged, rolling away from him, snuggling up to his chest, not waiting for a reply.

“I don’t want you to take anymore pills when you’re done.”

Nope. Not going there. “Night, Drew.”

***

I was a nervous wreck all morning. I needed to get away from Drew. Where the hell was Celeste? Of all days for Drew to start work later, it had to be that day. Any other day I would have loved it, just not this day.

“I’m going to Alicia’s now,” I stated, rather than asking.

Drew looked up from the puppy book he was reading to Nicky, puzzled. “Aren’t you going to wait until I go to work? It’s not lunch time. Why do you need to go now?”

“I don’t need to, Drew. I want to.” I should have just waited. I hadn’t planned on this turning into a big argument.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Stop doing that, Morgan,” Drew warned, set Nicky on the floor and came to me. “Let me see your phone.”

“Oh, my god, Drew. There’s nothing in my phone. I just want to go hang out with Alicia.”

“Because you don’t like the company here? Give me your phone.”

Slamming my phone to his hand, I glared at him.

“You need to stop.” Drew smirked. “What does this mean? This last message. The eagle has landed? What is that?”

“I don’t know. It’s Alicia. She is probably trying to tell me that Celeste is on her way over and I can come now.”

“Why couldn’t you go before Celeste left?”

“Because I have a ridiculous husband that tells me what I can do. I would have left already if I was allowed,” I smartly replied, forming quotation marks in the air.

“Should I take Nicholas? Marta asked, placing the tray with two cups of coffee on the table. Nicky instantly saw them and went after them. Marta scooped him up and blew raspberries on his belly, causing him to giggle and squirm.

I said no. Drew said yes at the exact same time. “I’m taking him with me,” I assured Drew. Marta didn’t wait for permission. She could feel the tension. Anybody could have felt the tension, it was thick.

“You’re not taking Nicholas. I thought you were going out to lunch. What are you really up to?”

“I am taking Nicholas, we are going to hang around the pool for a while, and then Jackie is going to keep the kids while we go have lunch.”

“No, she’s not. Nicholas can stay right here with me and Marta, and you can leave when I tell you, you can leave.”

“Great, Drew. That’s just great. This is it, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean this is my life. You’re always going to be a controlling idiot, and I just wasted a ton of MY money on Deidra. You’re never going to change, and you know what, Drew? I’m not sure I want to stick around and wait for it not to happen. I’m tired of hoping for an outcome that is so obviously doomed to fail.”

“What does that even mean, Morgan? You’re planning on leaving me? Because I assure you if that is what you’re saying, you’re sadly mistaken. And if you insist on that, you will never see your child again. You got that, Morgan? You will never see Nicholas again. You’re not going anywhere,” Drew vehemently spoke right in my face.

I didn’t even think. It just happened. “Fuck you,” I spit. Literally. I spit right in his eye and then grabbed my own eye when the back of his hand came in contact. I might have deserved that one a little.

“Morgan, I’m sorry,” Drew instantly responded, pulling me to him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. Go to Alicia’s for a while. I’m sorry.”

I wasn’t sure I could go to Alicia’s anymore. Not because of my eye, that didn’t hurt. Something else happened. I’m not sure what it was. I just felt something when Drew hit me, something abnormal. I’m not sure what it was but something just didn’t feel right. I brushed past Drew, grabbed my purse, and tried to keep my eyes focused. The room was a blur and I probably shouldn’t have driven.

Sitting in the car, I looked in the mirror at the puffiness already forming. Shit. Alicia was going to give me her lecture about it, we’d end up arguing, and I would tell her to mind her own business. What the hell was going on? Why was my vision suddenly blurry?

I was okay after a few minutes and drove the short drive over to Alicia’s. Waving at Celeste as we crossed paths, I pulled into the circled drive. I should call Drew. He was probably beside himself. No. No. I wasn’t calling Drew. This was his fault. All I did was tell him I wanted to leave. Well, that spit in his face. Okay, it was a little bit my fault.