“I dropped him as a client.”
My window was down, letting the warm breeze whip my hair around my face. I didn’t bother pushing the strands away. It just felt good to have a moment of freedom. Where I had no worries. But there was Max, ripping me out of this peaceful moment.
I turned in my seat and gaped at him. “What?”
Max shifted gears and kept his eyes on the road. He was dressed down today, in a simple pair of jeans and dark blue t-shirt. The sun slipped in through the open sunroof, slashing across his forearm.
It was a hot summer day. The kind where you just want to tilt your head back, close your eyes and do nothing but dream. We drove down a twisted country road with nothing but green grass around us. We had no destination; we just drove to get away from McLean.
A week had passed since I discovered the truth about Lana. I wish I could say that everything was starting to smooth itself out, but nothing had changed.
Lana’s dad was still free. Lana was still staying at her family’s house. So was I. I wasn’t leaving until she left. So I pleaded for her to get out of there, but she wouldn’t budge. She would always say the same thing: nothing happened. Sure, for the time being he was leaving Lana alone, but for how long? There was an expiration date. I didn’t know when it would arrive, but I could feel it creeping up on the two of us.
It was inevitable that I would see Lana’s dad. After the party, I expected him to say something to me, but he didn’t. He just stared at me carefully. Sometimes he would smile and it was like he knew how badly I wanted to tell someone but couldn’t. When I did encounter him, I would always react the same way. My chest would tighten and I would feel panic sweep through me, leaving me paralyzed. He would leave the room or the house and it was only then that I would be able to breathe evenly.
And sometimes, he didn’t even have to be around for me to feel that way. I would be with Lana, out in public, laughing at something she said, or walking innocently down the street, and I would suddenly be slammed with pain. It would start at my hips and spread throughout my body like tree limbs.
There were times I would wake up in the middle of the night and suddenly sit up in bed, panting and frantically looking around the room. I would feel disorientated, like I had blacked out and lost hours of my life. But reality would always catch up to me and I would be reminded that everything in my life was a mess, slowly unraveling before my eyes.
The way I was acting scared the shit out of me. I could only chalk it up to panic attacks, but I knew they had to get better soon; I didn’t know how long I could last.
When I wasn’t with Lana, I was with Max. I took his request to spend the summer with me seriously. I spent almost every day with him, but never stayed the night. It was starting to become a point of contention between us.
He just couldn’t wrap his brain around the fact that I was staying, willingly, with Lana, knowing that Lana’s dad lived under the same roof.
I wanted to stay with him more than anything. I wanted to wake up in the morning, draped over his body. I wanted to be able to lean in and kiss him, and he would respond by rolling me over, pressing me into the mattress, holding me so tightly that all my problems would drift away.
“I said I dropped him as a client,” Max repeated.
My eyelashes fluttered against my skin rapidly. I sat up straight in my seat. “When?”
“As of yesterday.”
I swallowed and ignored the feeling of dread creeping up on me.
“What did he do?”
Max shifted in his seat. Instinctively, his hands tightened around the steering wheel. “My secretary was right outside the door, so he did what he always does in front of an audience. He kept his composure and just walked away.”
I nodded. It made sense. Lana’s dad was a very smart man. He wouldn’t seethe with rage and make a scene. He would do that behind closed doors, while he plotted his revenge.
I looked at Max with alarm. “You don’t think he’s going to do anything, do you?”
“No.” Max looked over at me. “You think he will?”
I drummed my fingers on the armrest. “I think we’re all trying to be a winner in a losing game.”
“That’s the thing though, Naomi. This isn’t a game. It’s the difference between black and white. Right and wrong. This is no game. He’s fucked with someone’s life and he’s not going to get away with it.”
Anger seeped into his words. I knew he was barely keeping himself together.
“I know that,” I said gently. “But it’s not that simple. If it was, he’d be locked away right now.”
“I promise you he won’t get away with it,” Max said heatedly.
I looked out the window. I didn’t want to start talking about Lana’s dad. The main reason for this drive was to de-stress and not think about anything.
“I’ve been thinking about something,” I said carefully.
“And that is?”
“Getting away from all this… bullshit. Somewhere not too far.” I shrugged underneath his gaze. “Maybe to D.C.?”
Max let off the gas and pulled over on the side of the road. He put the car in park and turned to look at me. I rotated in my seat. My shin brushed his thigh. I didn’t pull away. Even when the moment wasn’t sexually charged, my body still sought him out. He was a comfort for me. I think he would always make me feel that way.
I told him my idea to convince Lana to move to D.C.
It suddenly occurred to me, a few days ago, that I needed to compromise with her. She couldn’t take college, couldn’t take being away from everything she knew. But what if I told her she could move out and still remain close to her hometown? What if she was surrounded by a place she’d known all her life and was safe at the same time?
My plan wasn’t foolproof, but it was taking shape. It was starting to make more sense as time went on.
“You sure that’s a good idea?” Max asked.
“It’s the best idea,” I said confidently. “And it’s the only idea that makes sense.”
He nodded and stared at the road. I knew he agreed with my plan, but he was thinking over every option, trying to think of everything that could go wrong. “When is this apartment hunting going to happen?”
“As soon as possible.”
“How long have you been thinking about this?”
“Not very long.” I looked at him out of the corner of my eye.
He had taken off his sunglasses. His eyes bore straight through me.
“I’ve been bouncing the idea back and forth for a few days,” I said.
He raised both brows. “That’s it?”
“What more do you want me to say?”
“I figured if you’ve been thinking about this you’d have places lined up, a whole plan set in place. Think about this long and carefully so it all sticks in the end.”
“You don’t think I haven’t been thinking about this carefully? That’s all I’ve been doing the last week. Carefully tiptoeing around everyone and everything…” I looked away. “There’s no other option.”
“Hey,” he said gently. He tipped my chin up so I was looking at him. “You know that I, out of all people, want this to happen, right?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
He held my gaze. “Do it and I’ll be right behind you the whole time,” he said, his voice steady and sure.
It gave me a small boost of confidence. I smiled gratefully and kissed him.
“Thank you,” I said.
He pulled back onto the road.
One hurdle had been crossed. The only thing I needed to do now was talk Lana into it.