Chapter 13
Kim
LISTENING TO THE phone ring and Sage’s voice mail message click on, I close my eyes and pull the phone away from my ear.
“Honey,” Mom calls, and I hang up, drop the phone to my lap, and look at her.
“Yeah?”
“You okay?” she asks, stepping into my room—or what used to be my room. My first year away at college, she’d kept the space exactly as I left it. My second year, she added a treadmill to the corner of the room. And by the time I graduated college, she’d added boxes, a sewing table, and a work desk.
“I’m okay,” I lie.
She shakes her head. “Do you want to eat something?”
“No.” My stomach rolls at the idea of food and I pull my quilt up around my waist.
“You really should eat.”
“I know. I’m just not hungry right now,” I say, and her face softens as she walks across the pink rug covering the floor toward where I’m sitting in the middle of my day bed before taking a seat next to me.
Running her hand down the hair at the side of my head, she pulls it back over my shoulder. “Things will be okay. Give him some time. He’ll come around.”
Nodding, I don’t agree out loud. I can’t. I left Tennessee on a whim, and now I’m wishing I hadn’t. I should have waited Sage out. I should have let him cool down then talked to him. Instead, I ran away to my parents’ house like a coward. I was so caught up in everything I was feeling and protecting myself that I didn’t think about what Sage must have felt when he found out about my illness and how upset he was by the news. I didn’t think about anything except running away from him.
“Have you tried calling him?”
“His phone is going to voice mail,” I whisper, closing my eyes. I’ve called three times since I realized me leaving was a mistake. Every single time, his phone has gone right to voice mail, which means he’s turned it off and doesn’t want to hear from me.
“Don’t cry, honey.”
“I’m not,” I lie again, wiping the proof of my lie from my cheeks.
She laughs softly while she wraps her arms around me and drags me to rest against her chest. “Even as a kid, you were stubborn.” She pulls in a breath while running her hand down my hair. “Always so hardheaded.” I hear the nostalgic tone in her voice, and my arms tighten around her middle as I bury my face against her. “Your dad and I learned early on to let you make mistakes. You wouldn’t learn any other way. We could tell you fire was hot and that it could hurt you until we were blue in the face, but until you felt the heat from the flames yourself, you didn’t believe us.”
“Because I’m an idiot.”
“No.” She leans back, taking hold of my face, and I watch tears pool in her eyes. “You’re not an idiot. You’re one of the most amazing women I know. You’re smart, loving, loyal, and inspiring. You make me want to be a better person. From the very first moment I held you in my arms, you made me want to be a better person, and your determination to do things your way is one of the things I admire about you.”
“Mom.” I close my eyes then open them back up when she gives me a gentle shake.
“If he doesn’t find a way to accept you as you are, then he’s not worthy of you,” she says quietly, and I nod then close my eyes again as she leans in, pressing her lips to my forehead. “I’ll bring you some soup. You need to eat and take your pills.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” She kisses my cheek before she stands and leaves the room, coming back a few minutes later with a bowl of hot soup.
After eating as much as I can stomach and taking my pills, I climb under my covers and call Sage one last time, feeling my heart clench in my chest when he doesn’t answer and I once again get his voice mail.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper before I hang up and drop my phone to the bed.
Tucking my hands under my cheek, it takes a while, but eventually I cry myself to sleep.
Sage
OPENING THE FRONT door, I head down the hall, past the kitchen, and straight to the bedroom. As I flip on the light, my jaw clenches when I see the room is picked up, the sheets off the bed, and the duvet folded neatly across the end of the bare mattress. Moving to the closet, I grab my duffle off the top shelf and drop it to the floor.
An hour ago, I got a voice mail from Jax telling me that Kim left town. He said Ellie called him earlier in the afternoon to tell him that Kim was taking off, that she stopped by the shop on her way to the airport to let her and Frankie know she was leaving and needed a few days off to go see her parents.
When I got that message, my anger that had dissipated throughout the day came back. Jax knew I had been out of cell range all day, but he didn’t know Kim and I fought. He thought something happened to one of her parents, so he’d been trying to get a hold of me. Unfortunately, I had taken off to the mountains to think, which left me without phone service, and my delay in getting any calls all afternoon meant Kim was able to leave town without me knowing.
As much as I could understand her reason for leaving, I’m still pissed she did. Yes, we fought. Yes, I lost my shit. But Jesus, I just found out the woman I’m in love with is sick. Not just sick, but seriously fucking sick. And she didn’t fucking tell me about it.
When I saw her pills and realized what was going on, I couldn’t think straight. I should have left her in bed, gone to clear my head, and then talked to her when I was calm. But I didn’t do what I should have done. The same fear I felt when I was told she was dead came back tenfold, making it impossible for me to be calm.
Dropping enough clothes for two days into my bag, I pull off my shirt, taking it to the laundry hamper, and see the sheets from the bed when I shove it in. I ignore the clench in my gut as I grab a clean tee off the shelf and put it on, then leave the closet and walk across the room to the bathroom.
Spotting her nightie in the trash under the sink when I grab my overnight kit, my teeth grind. If she thinks me washing the sheets and her trashing her nightie will erase things for her or for me, she’s lost her damn mind. I waited too fucking long for my shot, and I’m not going to let her run off and build up walls. Not this time.
I’m done fucking around.
Heading back to the closet, I grab my duffle from the floor and leave, shutting off the lights as I go. My flight leaves in two hours, and I should have plenty of time to make it to the airport as long as there’s no traffic on the highway. I pull my cell out of my front pocket and stop in the kitchen to get Chris’s number from the eraser board on the fridge, and that’s when I spot a key laying on the counter. Leaving the key where it is, I punch Chris’s number into my cell and head for the door, calling him as I get in my car.
“Hello,” he answers on the second ring, and my fingers tighten around my cell. I don’t know if he’ll be willing to help me out. He’s so close to Kim. He’s been her shoulder to lean on and her protector for a long time, and if he knows how shit went down this morning, there’s a good chance he’ll tell me to fuck off.
“I need you to text me Kim’s parents’ address.”
“You’re going after her?” he questions, sounding relieved as I start up the engine and back out then switch to drive and take off.
“Yeah.”
“Thank fuck. I told the stupid woman not to leave, but when the hell does she ever fucking listen to me?” he mutters, and I shake my head then tighten my hand on the steering wheel when he continues. “She wanted to tell you. Sh—”
“She didn’t,” I cut him off. “She should have fucking told me, but she didn’t. I came across her goddamn pills this morning by chance. I had no idea what the hell they were for, so I looked them up online. That’s how I found out. Not by her telling me, but by fucking sitting in my bathroom at five in the morning, googling the shit on my phone.”
“I’m sorry, man,” he says quietly as I flip on my turn signal and pull onto the main road off my lane.
“Me, too.”
“But you’re still going after her, right?” he asks, sounding worried now.
“I told you I was. This isn’t going to end us, and if I have my way, nothing ever will,” I state, and the phone goes quiet for a long moment before he clears his throat.
“You love her.”
“I love her,” I confirm, thinking that doesn’t come close to how I feel about her.
“I swear I’m going to kick her ass when you get her back to town,” he growls, and for the first time since this morning, I smile.
“I’ll let you know when that is,” I say, pulling onto the highway. “Don’t tell her I’m on my way. I don’t want her to take off before I can make it to her parents’ house.”
“I won’t.”
“Text me the address. My flight leaves in a little under two hours.”
“I’ll text you. Let me know if you need anything else.”
“Thanks.” I hang up. Leaning back, I shove my cell back in my pocket and drive, making it to the airport just in time to catch my flight.
Arriving in Miami at a little after 2:00 p.m., I make my way through the airport with my bag over my shoulder toward the rental car pickup, thinking I should have driven. Between the wait at the airport, flight time, extra time in the air because of a storm on the ground, and the two hours it will take me to get to Kim’s parents’ house, I could have been to her, or at least close, by now.
Turning my cell off airplane mode as I walk, I put my phone to my ear to listen to the three voice mails I got while I was in the air. Two from my mom, the first telling me that she loves me and the second telling me I’m an ass and I better make things right with Kim and bring her home. I expect the third message to be her apologizing for being harsh, but it’s not her. It’s Kim whispering she’s sorry.
Hearing the hurt in her voice, I rub the back of my neck and quicken my steps. As much as I want to call to tell her everything will be okay, I don’t. What I need to say needs to be said face-to-face, no more hiding, no more bullshit. I’ve been taking it easy and going slow for her, but that shit is done. Now that I know about her illness, I will never take a moment with her for granted, and I sure as fuck won’t allow her to, either.
Knocking on her parents’ door two and a half hours later, I wait for someone to answer. I should have grabbed her dad’s numbers off the fridge before I left, but I didn’t think about it at the time. Clenching my hands as the porch light comes on, I take a step back, not sure what to expect.
“Took you long enough,” her dad, Donald, says in greeting as he opens the door to me, and my brows draw together. “I knew you’d show up. Though, I did expect you a few hours ago, to be honest.” He steps back, letting me inside and closing the door behind me.
“I was in the mountains. I didn’t have phone service, so I had no idea she’d taken off until a few hours ago,” I tell him, and he nods.
“Figured it had to be something. When she showed up, I knew that if you were the man I thought you were, you’d be here to set her head straight.” He pats my shoulder. “Glad to see I was right about you,” he states, and my muscles that had coiled on the drive here relaxed.
I wasn’t sure what kind of situation I would be walking into, but I knew one way or another I would be talking to Kim, and it’s a relief to know I won’t be fighting with her parents to get to her.
“Thank God.” At those quiet words, I turn my head and watch Kim’s mom, Pattie, come toward me with her arms open. Giving me a hug, she leans back, patting my cheek and sighing. “I told her everything would be okay,” she says, and then her eyes narrow slightly, reminding me a lot of my mom. “Everything is okay, right?” she questions, studying me.
I nod. “It will be.”
“Good.” She shakes her head. “She’s been a mess since she got here. I probably shouldn’t tell you that, but it’s the truth. So if you go in there and she tries to play it cool, don’t let her fool you.”
“I won’t.”
“All right, go on then. Her room is at the end of the hall on the left.”
“Thanks.” I lift my chin to both her parents before heading down the hall. Reaching the room, I pause with my hand on the handle and pull in a deep breath. I turn the knob, but before I have a chance to push in, the door is pulled from my grasp.
“You’re here,” Kim squawks, right before she’s throwing herself at me and wrapping her arms around my neck. Mine instinctively wrap around her middle, hauling her tighter against me as she sobs. “I’m so sorry.”
Picking her up, I carry her farther into the room and kick the door closed behind me before searching through the dark for the bed. Seeing it across the room, I move us there then settle her sideways on my lap.
“Calm down,” I whisper, and she cries harder, clutching me as she apologizes over and over again, which kills me. I’m the one who should be apologizing for losing my shit, being a dick, and taking off. “Please, baby, calm down,” I beg as her tears rip me open one-by-one.
“I should have told you. I should have told you, but I didn’t. I… I was a-afraid that you would… wouldn’t be able to handle it a-an… and that you would leave me,” she says between sobs, and my stomach turns.
I did exactly what she thought I would do. I flipped out then took off. I didn’t tell her that we would talk about it when I had a chance to calm down, so she didn’t know I wasn’t leaving her.
“I’m sorry, baby, I shouldn’t have left things like I did. I just needed to clear my head,” I tell her, tucking my face into her neck and breathing in her warm scent.
“I… I tried to call you.”
“I went to the mountains, so I didn’t have service. I wasn’t leaving you. I just needed to think for a bit.”
“I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not.” I rub her back, and thankfully after a few minutes, her sobs quiet down. “I need to see you,” I tell her quietly, and she leans away from me. A second later, soft light fills the room, and her tear-stained face looks up at me. Using my thumb, I wipe away the tears from under her eyes and study her beautiful face. “I was scared,” I admit, and her body jolts like she’s shocked by that statement. “So, fucking scared.” I run my fingers across her soft cheek, catching a tear before it falls. “I can’t imagine a world without you in it.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispers, lifting her hand to my jaw. My eyes close and my forehead drops to rest against hers as my arms tighten around her, the thought of losing her too much for me to handle.
“Marry me.”
The words are out before I can catch them, but now that I’ve said them out loud, I know that’s exactly what I want. I want her to be my wife. I want to wake up with her every morning and go to bed with her every night. I want to spend the rest of my life making her happy.
“What?” she breathes.
I pull back to look into her eyes, and repeat, “Marry me.”
“We—”
“I don’t care how long we’ve been together,” I cut her off, knowing exactly what she was going to say. “I know I want a life with you. I know now, just like I knew the moment I met you, that you were made for me.”
“Sage.” Her eyes close and her head shakes.
“Just say yes. I won’t give up until you say yes.”
“You’re serious.” She opens her eyes, studying mine, and I hold her gaze letting her see the truth there.
“Never been more serious about anything in my life.”
“I’m not dying. I’m sick, but I have a long life ahead of me,” she says softly, and I pull her closer.
“Then say you’ll live your long life with me,” I urge, and her bottom lip goes between her teeth. “I love you, Kimberly, from the moment we met, and since then, I’ve fallen deeper in love with you. Tell me you don’t feel the same. Tell me from the second we met you haven’t felt this pull between us, like our lives have always been intertwined in some way. Tell me we’re not meant to be together.”
“I…” She swallows, closing her eyes. “I love you, too. I just… I don’t want you to want to marry me or to be with me just because you think my time is limited.”
“Everyone’s time is limited, baby,” I say, gently taking her face in my hands. “No one knows when their time on earth will come to an end. I could die tomorrow, but if that happens, I want to know I died meaning something to you.”
“You mean everything to me.”
“Then tell me you’ll marry me.”
“God, you are really serious. You’re crazy.”
“Say you’ll marry me, Kimberly. Tell me you’ll be my wife.”
“I’m not getting married in Vegas or at the courthouse,” she whispers, and my heart leaps in my chest.
Taking her mouth once more, I roll her to her back and pull away slightly to look down at her. “Is that a yes?”
“God, I’m seriously as crazy as you are.” She closes her eyes then opens them back up, wrapping her hand around the side of my neck. “Yes.”
“Thank fuck.” I kiss her deeply but pull back before things can get out of hand. “Your parents are down the hall,” I remind her quietly when she looks up at me disappointedly, and then her eyes close.
“Right.” She swallows, lying back on the bed. I curl her into my side, noticing the early morning sun filtering in through the closed blinds. Running my fingers down her side, I smile as she cuddles deeper into my chest. “I have a request,” she says quietly, and my hand pauses on her hip.
“What is it?”
“Next time you’re mad at me, can you take time to cool down before we talk? You…” She pauses then moves, getting up on an elbow to look at me. “That’s the second time you’ve gotten mad at me and flipped out without giving me a chance to explain.”
“I’m sorry, baby,” I reply, hating that she’s right.
“Me, too.” She shrugs, running her fingers across jaw. “I hate that I didn’t tell you before and you had to find out the way you did.”
“It’s done. We’re moving on.”
“Yeah,” she agrees, resting her head back against my pec. “Your mom and mine are going to fight like crazy. You know that, right?” she asks, breaking into the quiet after a few minutes.
“Why?” I dip my head down to look at her, and she tips hers back to meet my gaze.
“My mom has been secretly planning my wedding since I was sixteen when she took me prom dress shopping at a bridal shop. Judging by the way your mom acted at dinner, she is the same way, or she’s got ideas of how she wants things to be.”
“We’ll go to Vegas and make it easy on them.”
“I already said I’m not going to Vegas.”
“I’m not giving up on the idea. How long do you think it will take you to plan this wedding anyway?”
“It will be our wedding,” she mutters, tweaking my nipple, and I clamp my hand over hers, feeling her cheek move as she smiles. “I don’t know how long it will take. Probably a year or so.”
“Pardon?”
“A year, maybe a little longer,” she reiterates, looking at me.
“I’m not waiting a fucking year to marry you.”
“We’ll see.”
Rolling to my side, I get up on an elbow and look down at her. “I’m not waiting a year,” I repeat.
“I want my mom and dad to have this. It’s important to me that they get these times with me. I’m it for them. There are no other kids for them to marry off. I know my dad will want to walk me down the aisle, and my mom will want to help me find a dress and plan the wedding.”
She’s right; it’s only her. I have five brothers and sisters. If I don’t have a wedding, my parents will be able to get that from one of my siblings. But for Kim’s parents, it’s only her, and as much as I want her to be tied to me, I want her to be happy and her parents to be able to share that with her. They deserve that, and so does she.
“All right,” I agree reluctantly, and her face softens. “I’ll try to be patient, but I can’t make any promises.”
“Thank you.” She leans up, brushing her mouth against mine, and then that brush turns into her whimpering into my mouth as her tongue toys with mine and my hand finds her breast.
“We’re staying in a hotel tonight,” I growl as soon as I pull my mouth from hers.
“What?” She blinks her eyes open to look at me.
“I can’t make love to you here, and I really want to make love to you,” I say, pressing my hard-on into her hip, and her mouth forms a soft O. “Exactly. So tonight, we’ll stay in a hotel. That way I can take you whenever and however I want.”
“Okay,” she concurs, then she yawns and I follow hers with one of my own.
“But right now, let’s sleep,” I say quietly, moving her back into my arms.
She tucks her body down my side with her head in the crook of my arm, and I listen to her yawn again right before her quiet snoring fills the room. Smiling at the sound, I kiss the top of her head then lie here until long after she’s fallen asleep, thinking, Fucking finally.