Chapter 16
Kim
RINGING THE BELL and hearing Elizabeth yell, “Come in,” I pull in a breath as I turn the knob and open the door. I’m nervous. I hate letting people down, and I feel like me moving out of my place and not being around is definitely letting Elizabeth and Jelikai down.
Five days ago, Sage and I got back from Florida, and yesterday, he left for Alabama for the week with Jax for some job. I hate that he had to leave so soon after we got home, but with him gone, I know I can take care of a few things I’ve been putting off, like telling Elizabeth I’m moving out, closing on the shop, and getting things worked out with Ellie there.
“Why did you ring the bell?” Elizabeth asks, looking down at me from the upstairs platform as I shut the door.
“Sorry, I didn’t think.”
“I’m doing laundry. Feel like keeping me company?” She smiles, tipping her head to the side.
“Yeah.” I drop my bag on the entryway table and head up the stairs, following behind her into the laundry room at the end of the hall.
“How are things and how was your visit with your parents?”
“Things are good and the visit was nice,” I say, picking up one of the boys’ T-shirts, folding it, and adding it to one of the piles. “I…” I pick up another, folding and using it as an excuse not to look at her, because I don’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes. “I have some news.”
“You’re moving and getting married,” she states, and my eyes fly up to meet hers, knowing mine are wide with surprise. “Honey, this is a small, small town, and you just took Sage Mayson off the market. Permanently. Everyone—and I mean everyone—knows about it.” She laughs, and I shake my head then still when she reaches out, taking my hand. “This is beautiful,” she murmurs, moving the engagement ring on my finger from side to side studying it.
“Thank you,” I whisper, wrapping my fingers around hers, and her eyes meet mine and soften.
“Are you happy?”
“Yes.”
“Then so am I.”
“You’re not mad at me?”
“God, no. The only way I’d be mad at you is if you didn’t flipping move in with that man. Believe me, I love my husband and my boys, but if Sage Mayson showed up at my door and asked me to move in with him, I might consider it for a half a second longer than I should before I turned him down.” She laughs and I giggle. “The boys will still want to see you.”
“I’m not moving far,” I say as an answer to that, and she nods. “Thank you for everything you’ve done and for being my friend. You and Jelikai have been so amazing to me.” I give her a hug and she squeezes me back.
“You’re a part of our family. So remember that when you leave and know you can always come back.”
“Thanks.” Tears prickle the back of my eyes, but I fight them back, tightening my hold before I let her go. Then I spend the rest of the afternoon hanging out with her until the boys get home from school. We all go out to dinner, where I promise the boys they can come to the lake house when the weather gets warm enough to go kayaking with Sage and me.
*
“PINK AND GLITTER!” Hope shouts at the top of her lungs, and I look at her mom and laugh.
“I’m not sure about pink and glitter for paint colors, honey,” Ellie says, and Hope’s face falls.
“I like it,” I say, and Ellie’s eyes come to me and widen with surprise while Hope claps in glee.
“I know the idea of painting the salon pink and glittery is a little over the top, but it could work. We could do the walls hot pink, with thick white glitter stripes. Then we could get those cool mirrors we were looking at, the squiggly ones, and put them above each station, and change out the chairs to the white and chrome ones we found.”
“Hmm.” Ellie taps her chin with her finger while Hope stands up on her chair, waiting for her mom’s reaction. “If we do that, we can then do the front of the salon white with bright accent colors. We love this couch,” she says, running her hand over the purple material. “So it could stay, and we could just add a few pops of pink and other bright colors with pillows and art.”
“That would look amazing,” I agree, and Hope tackles me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I hug her back then kiss her cheek before she settles on the floor between Ellie and me, where she goes back to coloring.
“Jax and Sage said they’d get the guys together to paint and to do the construction. So we will save a little money that way, meaning we can open up the front wall the way we wanted and add a couple more chairs,” Ellie thinks aloud.
“I love it.” I smile, and she grins back. “This is really happening, isn’t it?” I ask, and she reaches over to take my hand, giving it a squeeze before letting go.
“It is. We close tomorrow, and when that happens, this place will be ours,” she replies, looking around, and I follow her gaze around the salon, thinking that I really do love this place. Frankie helped me settle into life here, and if it wasn’t for him, I don’t know what I would have done.
“I’m sad Frankie’s leaving,” I say quietly.
Ellie’s smile disappears. “It’s not going to be the same without him.”
“No, it won’t be,” I whisper as tears start to clog my throat.
“You bitches better not be crying,” Frankie calls, coming out from the back of the shop.
I wipe away the tear that had fallen down my cheek and shake my head before tipping it back to look up at him. “No one’s crying.”
“Good, I can’t deal with crying.” He kisses the side of my head then leans over, doing the same to Ellie before stepping back. “You girls know I’ll be back from time to time to check on things and you two. Plus, I expect you to come down to Florida to visit, and do it often.”
“We will.” Ellie smiles, and Hope yawns, turning toward me and climbing onto my lap before resting her head against my chest.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow at the closing,” Frankie tells us, giving us each another hug before leaving through the door.
“We should probably call it a night,” Ellie whispers, looking at Hope, and I glance down, finding her eyes closed.
I smile. “Yeah, it’s been a long day,” I agree, kissing the top of Hope’s head before handing her off to Ellie when she stands.
“Are you staying at the lake or in town?” Ellie asks as I gather our stuff and put it away behind the front desk.
“Probably in town tonight. That way, I can head to the hospital in the morning and go visit with June and hopefully see the baby,” I say, referring to Sage’s cousin and my friend, who’s pregnant. This morning, she was admitted to the hospital after she started having contractions, but she still hasn’t had the baby. The last time I called to check on her, she was still only dilated to a four, but her husband refused to let them kick her out, which didn’t surprise me at all. Evan is part crazy and completely in love with his wife, and he’s freaked out that she’s now two weeks past her due date.
“Since Jax and Sage are both gone, do you want to stay with Hope and me for the night? Then tomorrow we can all head over to see her together,” Ellie suggests, and Hope perks up, twisting her head toward me.
“You can stay in my princess bed with me.” Hope smiles at me sleepily, and I grin at her and run my fingers down her cheek.
“I’d love that, but I need to run home to get some clothes first,” I reply, picking up my bag and Ellie’s, carrying them toward the door behind her.
“Cool, we’ll figure out dinner when you get to the house.”
“Sounds good,” I agree, opening the door and letting her out before turning and locking it behind us. Helping her into the car, I get in mine then head home.
I pick up some clothes then head right back across town, where I spend two hours hanging out with Hope and Ellie before we get the call telling us to come to the hospital, because June finally had Tia.
“She’s perfect,” I whisper, looking down at the baby in my arms then at her momma, who is sitting up in bed looking as beautiful as ever. Her husband is cuddled up next to her with his big bulky arm around her shoulders.
“She is, isn’t she?” Evan asks.
I grin at him as June elbows him in the ribs, rolling her eyes at his arrogance. “Absolutely,” I murmur, pulling my eyes from them to look at the sleeping baby girl in my arms. Evan has a right to be arrogant. Tia is perfect; she is one of the cutest newborns I’ve ever seen.
Running one finger down her soft cheek, my heart gets tight as I wonder if I will ever have this with Sage. I want a family with him, but I’m not sure it will ever happen unless we adopt since it’s not very safe for me to get—
Oh, shit.
My heart stops, and then starts to pound in my chest as my palms start to sweat. I haven’t had my period since Sage and I got back together.
Oh, God.
I haven’t had my period since Sage and I got back together!
My stomach rolls at the realization.
“You okay?” June asks, and I lift my eyes to hers and nod dumbly then hand Tia over to November when she reaches out to take her from me.
“Are you sure? You look like you just saw a ghost,” April says, and December nods in agreement while May and July all study me, looking concerned.
“I’m fine,” I whisper then clear my throat and look at June, plastering a smile on my face. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you.” June smiles, and then her eyes go to the door as people start to come into the room.
My heart lifts when I see Sage come in behind his sisters, mom and dad, and Ashlyn, Dillon, and Jax. Giving everyone a quick hello, I move right to him and into his arms, where I rest my head against his chest.
“Hey, baby.” He kisses my hair then drops his mouth to my ear. “I tried to call you to let you know Jax and I were on our way back to town, but you didn’t pick up,” he says as my arms tighten around him.
“Sorry, I put my phone on silent when we got to the hospital.”
“You okay?”
Am I okay? I have no idea, but I don’t say that. I know he worries, so I don’t want to give him something else to worry about unless it’s necessary.
“I’m okay. I’ve just missed you.” I tip my head back, and his hand wraps around the side of my head and his thumb smooths over my cheek as he studies me with soft eyes.
“Missed you, too.” He kisses my forehead and my nose before brushing his lips across mine softly, touching his tongue to my bottom lip. Pulling back, he grins and I smile at him. Leading me across the room, he gives June a hug and Evan a pat on the back before taking Tia from November. She growls in annoyance that she’s once again giving up her granddaughter.
Watching him with Tia, tears burn the back of my eyes. I don’t know what I will do if I’m pregnant, but I know if I am, I will do whatever is necessary for Sage to hold his child like he’s holding his niece.
“Okay, give me my daughter.” June reaches out to him a few seconds later when Tia starts to wake up, and he laughs then carefully places her back in her mom’s arms. Tucking me back against his side, he turns us around, and the moment he does, everyone is there giving us hugs and quiet congrats on getting engaged.
“Your ring is gorgeous,” Willow whispers, taking my hand.
“When are you getting married?” Harmony asks, stepping closer and away from Harlen who’s been holding her possessively since he walked into the room much to the dismay of Nico who’s been glowering the whole time.
“I don’t know. Probably a year or so. It depends on how long it takes to plan the wedding,” I reply, and everyone starts to laugh.
“Good luck with getting him to wait a year,” April inserts, and Sophie, who is standing next to me, narrows her eyes on her son, making me smile.
Yesterday, Sophie called me to get my mom’s number, and twenty minutes after that, my mom called to tell me that Sophie called her to ask when she would be in town so she could take Mom out to show her a few venues. So I know she wants a wedding as much as my mother and I do.
“Okay, everyone out,” Evan calls, breaking into the moment, and all eyes go to him as he gets off the bed, tucking a thick white blanket around June, who is asleep with Tia resting against her chest.
“But—” November starts.
Before she can say more, Asher cuts her off by wrapping his arm around her and dropping his face toward hers. “You can visit tomorrow.”
“But I was going to stay the night,” she tells him, and his head goes back.
“No, you weren’t,” he mutters, and she frowns up at him then moves her eyes to Evan.
“You’re not staying. You can come back tomorrow,” Evan confirms, shaking his head in denial, and her narrowed eyes move between both men.
“Damn bossy men,” she huffs, stomping toward the door. “You guys are annoying.” She leaves and Asher chuckles, giving Evan a pat on his shoulder.
Fighting my own laughter, I say a quiet goodbye to Evan, not wanting to wake June or the baby, and leave the room with everyone else.
I stop Sage with a tug of his hand holding mine once we get outside. “My car is at Ellie’s.”
“We’ll get it tomorrow. It’ll be safe at Jax’s.”
“I need my bag from their house. Then I need to stop at the drugstore,” I tell him.
He frowns, taking a step toward me, dropping his voice while wrapping his hand around my hip. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just need to make a stop,” I say, not sure if I’m lying about being fine, because I’m totally freaking out on the inside.
“All right, we’ll stop, grab your bag, and then head to the pharmacy.”
“Right,” I concur, figuring I can leave him in the car and run into the drugstore on my own.
Lucky for me, the gods were feeling generous, because he was going to come inside with me but got a call right as we pulled up to the store. While he took his call, I was able to go in and quickly buy a couple tests and a few random bits from the aisles I walked down. I hid the test at the bottom of my bag, telling myself I wasn’t really keeping anything from him; I was just waiting until I had something to say before I brought the situation to his attention.
Not Pregnant.
Seeing those two words, my chest hurts. I know it’s for the best, but between last night and this morning, I had gotten used to the idea of being pregnant and what that would mean. Tossing the test in the trash under the sink, I wash my hands while fighting back the tears suddenly blurring my vision. It wouldn’t have been good if I were pregnant. I know that realistically. But hope can sometimes be a dangerous thing.
I shake my head and leave the bathroom, heading for the kitchen, where I make myself a cup of tea. Then I take it out to the sunroom, where Sage and I had been lounging in one of the hammocks until a few minutes ago, when I went inside to take the test. Seeing his eyes are closed, I set my cup of tea on the floor then fall-slash-roll into the hammock next to him, resuming my position with his arm around me, my head against his pec and my thigh over his hip.
“I’m not pregnant,” I whisper, and his abs under my hand tense. I feel his chin tip down, but I don’t look up at him.
“Pardon?”
“I… I realized yesterday that I hadn’t had my period since we got together, and I thought…” I let my words taper off as my eyes close. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not.”
“That’s why you wanted to stop at the drugstore last night,” he accuses, and it’s my turn to tense.
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to freak out and go all weird on me the way you tend to do when anything happens.”
“I don’t go weird.” His arm tightens. “I love you. I worry.”
“I didn’t want you to worry until there was something to worry about.”
“Look at me,” he rumbles as the energy around us changes. My eyes fly up to meet his, and I swallow at the intense look in his eyes. “You do not get to do that.”
“What?”
“It’s my job to protect you. You do not get to keep shit from me under the pretense that you’re trying to protect me. That is not okay with me.”
“But—”
“No buts,” he cuts me off. “I love you. I love that you want to do that for me, but no. Next time you have something like that happen, you tell me straight up. You do not wait until after the fact to talk to me.”
“I—”
“No. Tell me you get me.”
“Okay, I get you,” I agree, and he shakes his head before cupping my jaw.
“You wanted the test you bought to be positive, right?” he asks, and my shoulders tense along with the rest of my body.
“I….” I shrug, unable to form words.
“I know you did. I can see it in your eyes and hear the disappointment still lingering in your voice. I can’t say I’m not happy you aren’t pregnant, baby,” he says, and my heart cracks. I start to bolt from him, but his arms tighten and he continues talking. “I know from what I’ve read that pregnancy at your stage could be complicated for not only the child you’re carrying, but for you, too. And I do not want that.” His lips rest against my forehead as he whispers there. “What I want is that long life you promised me.”
“You read up about it?” I breathe, and his fingers move to my chin and he lifts until my eyes meet his soft ones.
He turns toward me, resting his leg over mine as he sifts his fingers through my hair. “You’re not the only one who wants a family, Kimberly. I want children with you. I just know we will probably have to adopt or get a surrogate to carry that child for us. I will never put you at risk. Never.”
“You’ve really thought about this.”
“After I fucked up with you, I spent a lot of time thinking about the things I’d do if given a second chance. I’ve definitely thought about our future and what that future would entail.”
“Oh my God. You’re going to make me cry,” I whisper, right before I start to cry and bury my face against his chest, swearing I hear him laugh. But I ignore that, because it will annoy me. Instead, I focus on the fact this amazing man is mine.
“When the time is right, we’ll talk about babies and figure out what we should do.”
“Okay,” I agree as his hand moves down my spine then back up, wrapping around the back of my neck.
“I’d give you the world,” he says quietly, and even though those words are spoken softly, I can still hear and feel the depth of emotion they contain.
I know he would. If he could give me the world, he would do it. But like I said before, I don’t need the world.
All I need is him.