Fifty-Three

Ten hours…almost half a day…six hundred minutes—the only thing separating Ben from his life-changing decision. Before and after…what would the after be like? How does someone feel after saving someone else? Happy? Empowered? Scared? For the past three days, Ben could think of little else, and the whispers in his head were getting louder, more demanding, feeding the seeds of anxiety in his belly. Normally, he’d turn to alcohol to block out unease or sweat away his troubled thoughts in a crowded club, but that morning as a fiery sliver of sun broke through Riley’s curtain, exposing the disarray in the darkness, his girlfriend helped him silence the noise. He wouldn’t have had it any other way.

A sock dangled from the counter, discarded jeans covered the milk crate, and a fuzzy pair of handcuffs lay open on the loveseat. Ben’s dress shirt, stained with soy sauce from dinner, lay crumpled beside a heap of Twister bedsheets. Several PEZ dispensers, taken out by Riley’s bra flung in a moment of passion, mingled on the floor with a tipped over bottle of lube and condom wrappers, both torn and unopened, just beyond Ben’s splayed fingers gripping the rug.

Remember every second. Ben panted above Riley as his hips shifted, thrusting in and out. It might be weeks—months—before I can feel her like this again.

He buried his face in her hair, losing himself in the subtle orange blossom, jasmine, and musk of Riley’s summery perfume. He couldn’t get enough of its sensual tease, unlocking frequently visited daydreams of her skimpy swimwear and sex in the warm sand, the sun-kissed holiday they joked about but couldn’t afford to take.

Her fingernails dug into his ass. “Ben?”

Riley’s breathy gasp lifted his head. “Yeah?”

“Switch…me on top.”

“You read my mind.” Ben rolled onto his back, pulling her on top, her thighs fitting perfectly around his, pinning him to the floor. His hands squeezed her hips, digging in as she rocked against him. Beautiful Hope. Fuck yes. Let me watch you…take me deeper. Oh, sweet lord… His head pushed into the soft pool of Riley’s discarded dress, his heavy gaze flirting between her breasts and the soft smile curving her mouth.

Few words were spoken. Every kiss and lick, every moan and name whispered across skin, through the night and into that morning, had said all they needed to say, yet somehow…it still wasn’t enough.

Before going under tomorrow, I want to remember… Ben sighed and traced his thumb down her hip and in between her legs, circling her, coaxing her to the edge.

A gasp escaped Riley’s parted lips. “Oh, God, I’m close.” Moving faster, her breaths drew short and quick, and for the first time, Ben noticed a blush of pink around her mouth and chin. Stubble burn.

“You feel so good.” His hand left her hip and slid around, squeezing her ass and holding her tighter, trying to slow his excitement down. Let Riley come first. Let her remember…how good we are together… With a satisfied groan, his eyes fought to stay open, desperate to watch as he felt her begin to tighten around him.

“Oh—!” Her fingers spread out on his chest. She cried out, her body shaking until the spasms subsided.

Fucking hell, Riles…I can’t hold on much longer.

His own rampant desire took over as he leaned forward to kiss her breasts, focusing on what he needed. Thrusting deeply and fighting sharp breaths, his tongue swirled around her nipple with a feverish urgency until his head fell back, releasing a deep groan. He clutched her hips as his thighs began to twitch and his body followed, jerking upward with a final thrust. “Fuck!”

Riley clasped onto his hands, steadying herself as he sank back to the floor, breathing heavily.

“That was…” Eyelashes flickering, his eyes rolled back, and the grip he had on her hips relaxed. “Bloody hell.”

“We’re gonna be sore.” Riley nudged her messy hair off her forehead.

“And every time we feel a twinge, we’ll remember…” Ben leaned up on his elbows and reached between them, anchoring the condom as Riley moved off him. He peeled it away, dropping it in the bin with the others.

Lying down, covering Ben’s nakedness with her own, Riley left tender, loving kisses along his chest, a glint of sweat dampening the fine hair on his pecs. Her hands roamed up his body, following her mouth to his neck.

Caressed in her sighs, Ben caught his breath and held her tight, marveling in her warmth, her exquisite softness, and her lips pressing smiles into his skin. I never want this to end. I want to stay right here, like this.

She looked up, his silence raising a glimmer in her eye. Her lips teased his with brief kisses that softened into longer, deeper ones.

But if I don’t wake up tomorrow… His tongue danced with hers until he couldn’t stay silent any longer. You need to tell her. Take a leap of faith. His heart began to hammer in his chest. “Riley?” Her name lingered between their lips. “You and I are now…we.”

Riley caught the intense look in his eyes. “We? Yeah, ’course we are. We’re exclusive.”

No, that’s not it. Say the actual words…c’mon, say them! His finger traced her cheek, brushing hair out of her eyes. “Yeah, but Riley, what I mean is…I love you—I absolutely love you! I think I’ve loved you all along, but I didn’t know what that meant or how to say it. I know now, though. I know, Riley! I love you so fucking much that I think my heart could burst out of my chest…” He stopped talking, gazing into Riley’s eyes. “Please say something.”

“Oh, Ben. Oh my God.” A smile flickered on her lips before parting them for good. “I love you, too!”

“You do? Really?” His eyes pleaded, searching hers for clarity. “You’re not just sayin’ that ’cause of tomorrow? I mean, if that’s why, that’s okay—I’ll take whatever I can get—”

“Ben.” Riley held his face in her hands. “I do love you for helping Mom, but that’s not why I love you. There are so many reasons…and they all clicked in Central Park up on the rock. It’s not every day you meet someone who sees inside your heart and completely gets you, but you did.”

Ben kissed her nose and pulled her tight against him, leaving a kiss on her forehead. “You know, when I landed here, my goal was to have maximum fun—nothing serious, no commitments, just some good times while I figured things out. It was never in my plan to meet a beautiful girl and fall for her, and it definitely wasn’t in my plan to give away a liver to anyone!” He smiled. “But then you showed up out of the blue with your pink suitcase… Everything changed. I feel happy…content.”

“That makes two of us.” Riley cuddled into him, lying silent for a moment. “Hey, will you call your mom before surgery?”

The nervous knots he’d felt in his stomach earlier began to twist and pull again.

“I know the five-hour time difference makes it tricky, but you could call her now?”

Ben let out a heavy exhale. “Riley, there’s something I have to tell you.” He closed his eyes, afraid to see her reaction. “Mum doesn’t know I’m doing this.”

Riley’s jaw dropped. “What?! Why?”

He bit his bottom lip and looked at her. “We haven’t been speaking for quite some time now and…that’s my fault. She was all for me coming out here, but I haven’t picked up any acting work…she spent so much on drama school, and for what? For me to wait tables and have my bum pinched by grannies from Florida? I want to make her proud, Riles. I hate disappointing her, but that’s all I ever seem to do.”

“But if she knew about tomorrow…helping Mom—”

“Maybe.” He nodded, flipping over his phone on the floor. 6:32 A.M. Monday, September 3. In less than ten hours I’ll be gowned and on a hospital gurney, spending the night. “But just let me get through it, okay? Let’s make sure Maggie’s all right, I’m back at work, and things are back to normal. Then, I’ll tell her about it, and all about us, okay?”

“O-kay…” Her brow remained creased. “But I don’t agree with it. She’s your mom, Ben. She’d want to know. You’re risking your life—”

“I know, but please, Riley, I don’t want to argue right now. Remember what the doc said—rest and relax.”

She nodded. “Right…sorry.” She caressed his bottom lip with her finger. “I’m dreading leaving you and Mom at the hospital.”

He kissed her fingers and laced his hand in hers, holding it against his heart. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, right? Before they whisk me away?”

“Yeah.” She rested her face against his chest. “Ben, are you scared?”

“A little bit, but I want your mom to be okay…more than anything.” He caressed her cheek lovingly. “I’m a so-so actor with dyslexia who can’t get work, a pretty shit waiter, a really shit stripper—I’ve never been good at anything! But this one time I might really make a difference. I might save Maggie’s life! And knowing how close you two are, if I can do that…well, in a way, I can save you, too.”

“Aw, Ben.” Getting teary, Riley stared into his eyes. “You’re the sweetest, kindest guy I’ve ever known. I love you so much.” She placed a long, lingering kiss on his lips.

“I love you, too.” Ben smiled, playing with the puffin on her bracelet. “I’m so glad you like this.”

“Well, that’s a given, Fagan—it’s from you.” Riley sighed as her fingers ran across his stubble. “I wish they’d let me stay with you tonight at the hospital.”

“Well, you say that now, but I don’t think you want to be there for bowel prep. From what I’ve been reading, it ain’t gonna be pretty, girl! Funnily enough, Mark was bang on—I will be shitting it!”

She laughed and slapped him playfully on his chest. “Oh, way to go and break the mood, Benjamin.”