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Until The Last Star Fades by Jacquelyn Middleton (61)

Sixty-Four

Sunday, November 25, 1:24 P.M. in NYC / 6:24 P.M. in the UK

A photo and text message popped up on Riley’s phone: Ben beaming with pride, holding a small chalkboard with BEN’S LOVE BITES scrawled across it.

Sold EVERYTHING this wkend! xo

Riley giggled and typed a message.

How cute are YOU? Ben’s Love Bites? Mmmm, my fave! LOL! Are you sure you didn’t eat more than you sold, Cookie Monster?

Three minutes later.

And eat my profits? No! I’m all about £! £ = me w/u in NYC. Froze my bollocks off but getting all toasty thinkin of u.

You want sexy FaceTime?

Within seconds of Riley sending her text, she received a FaceTime call from Ben.

• • •

Christmas Day, 8:46 A.M. in NYC / 1:46 P.M. in the UK

Sitting by Maggie’s tiny Christmas tree, Riley smiled at the tartan change purse given to her by Piper and hit send on her latest text.

Merry Christmas Benjamin Fagan, love of my life! x

Twenty-five minutes passed—no text. Riley gave up waiting and had begun mixing waffle batter when Ben’s reply arrived.

Happy Chrimbo, gorgeous!! Soz for late reply. On train. Give Maggie kiss! xo

Riley happily abandoned breakfast prep and picked up her phone, replying. FaceTime?

Can’t. Really low battery. 4got my charger!! Shite reception. On way to see Mum.

Her lips let out a satisfied sigh as she texted back. You two made up?

Yep. Open my prezzie?

Riley glanced under the tree. Inside an opened box was a photo book of their New York memories and a cute ring featuring a real Love Heart candy preserved inside a glittery red resin heart. The candy’s message: Catch Me. Ben had also included a handwritten card: It’s not that you need catching, but if you ever did fall, I’ve got you. xo

Her fingers flew with her answer. I loved it. That ring will look perfect with my red Christmas dress.

Aw, Hope…sounds hot—send photos later?!!

She giggled, hitting send. Will do! Did you like mine? Did you like Mom’s sweater?

She didn’t receive an answer. No further texts arrived that day.

• • •

New Year’s Eve, 6:52 P.M. in NYC / 11:52 P.M. in the UK

Phone buzzing, Riley slowed her walk through the frozen slush. Finally! She pulled off her mitten and read Ben’s text.

I miss your lips!! I need a snog at midnight!!! xoxoxoxoxoxox

A chilly breath caught in her throat. Who WILL Ben kiss at midnight? That question had been burning a hole through her heart the past several days, ever since Ben had reunited with his phone charger post-Christmas and told her about Mark and Alex’s New Year’s party. The news had tripped a switch inside her, allowing depression to push its way in, wrapping itself around her palpable loneliness, and no amount of cute dog GIFs from Casey or ugly Christmas sweater photos from Piper could pull her free. Riley hadn’t felt this low since saying goodbye to Ben at the airport. Someone will kiss Ben during Auld Lang Syne—and it won’t be me. She texted back.

I love you, Ben. x

Ben’s FaceTime invite invaded her screen. She accepted it without pause.

“Riley!” In a crush of people, Ben was wearing sparkly ‘Happy New Year’ head-boppers and the purple dress shirt she had bought him for Christmas. “Where are you? It’s dark. You outside?”

He looks so good. Watching him so far away, surrounded by friends felt like a bittersweet punch to the stomach. Riley’s nose began to prickle. Don’t cry in the street. “I’m walking to Mom’s.”

Mark leaned over Ben’s shoulder. “Riley! Happy New Year, darlin’! This one’s really missing you.”

Hearing that made Riley stand a little taller. “Hi Mark. I’m missing him, too.”

Mark slapped Ben on the back and left him to it.

“Ahh, I feel better for seeing you!” Ben only had eyes for Riley. “Things all right, gorgeous?”

They are now. “Yeah. Gonna have a quiet night, watch Times Square on TV.”

“Good! I don’t want you off kissing blokes at midnight in Times Square!” He laughed. “Riles, I’ve got news! They’ve offered me a permanent spot at the market.”

“That’s fantastic!”

“I get a proper sign and everything.” He beamed. “And that’s not all—I’m definitely coming to New York in March for our airport anniversary!”

YES! YES, YES! Oh my God…I’m gonna cry. “Ben!” she squealed. “I really needed to hear that today!”

“Aw, love!” He laid his hand over his heart. “You can meet me at terminal D and we can have a do-over with kisses and Funyuns and street pretzels instead of stolen luggage! Whatcha say, gorgeous—”

“BEN!” A brunette with mischievous brown eyes and a swingy bob lurched into frame, cuddling into him. She was wearing a stunning blue dress; Riley was pretty sure she had coveted the same one in the window of Ted Baker in Soho. A colorful tattoo on her shoulder—a Rubik’s Cube—stole Riley’s attention.

“I need you—now!” The woman demanded. “Love pest by the sausage rolls. Idiot won’t take a bloody hint. Save me!”

Ben looked off screen and turned back to the interloper. “What? Again? Jeez. This is the last time I pretend for you.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder possessively. “Happy now?”

Riley frowned. Who’s she? Is that Lucy, the girl Alex mentioned at Wagamama?

Ben tipped his head toward the woman. “Riley, meet Spencer. She’s a right pain in the arse.”

That’s Spencer? Spencer’s…pretty…and there—with Ben’s arm around her.

“RILEY?!” Spencer waved. “Ben doesn’t shut up about you!”

Good. Back off. Riley mustered a smile. “Hi.”

Ben held the phone closer, cutting Spencer from view. “Riles, I have to play Good Samaritan otherwise I won’t hear the end of it when we get home…”

‘When WE get home…’ Riley’s jaw clenched. Ben’s roommate is pretty. She’s probably seen him in his FCUK pants. Maybe she’s seen him WITHOUT his FCUK pants… “Okay, I’ll…let you go?”

His eyes pleaded. “But I’ll call tomorrow, okay, first thing? I want to start the new year off with you, not a hangover.”

Big Ben’s iconic four-note chimes rang through her phone. Someone must’ve cranked up the London festivities on TV.

“Okay. Love you!” Riley’s words were lost in the tune.

“The countdown’s starting!” Spencer shrieked off camera, her jumping up and down jostling Ben.

“Ten…nine…”

“Riley? You okay?” He leaned in, his expression pinching like the party and Spencer were too much. “It’s too noisy! I love you!”

“…five…”

Riley’s heart felt heavy as she raised her voice. “Happy New Year—LOVE YOU.”

Ben pointed to his ears in frustration and lowered his phone, but FaceTime wasn’t disconnected, and Riley could still see and hear.

Spencer yelled, “Ben, that perv’s coming over…”

“…three…”

“I’m not kissing you, you daft cow.” Ben shook his head and shifted the phone, cutting off Riley’s view.

“…one…”

His phone jerked and Big Ben bonged. “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” burst though Riley’s speaker.

“Ew! Freddie!” Spencer wailed. “You kiss like a fucking fish!”

Hitting disconnect, a relieved smile warmed Riley’s face.

• • •

Valentine’s Day 2019, 4:55 P.M. in NYC / 9:55 P.M. in the UK

Red roses and lilies graced her co-workers’ desks, but Riley wasn’t envious one bit. She admired the blue forget-me-nots beside her computer. “My flowers, Ben! They’re perfect, and I’ve eaten half the candy already.” She peeled the plastic off her microwaved lasagna, letting a curl of hot steam escape.

“Good, glad you like ’em, love!” Ben’s image bounced and the background behind him—books, shelves—flew past as he quickened his pace. “The florist over there tried to talk me into roses. I reckon they thought I was a cheap bastard.”

Riley giggled, digging a fork into her hot dinner. “Did my present arrive?”

“Yeah! Equinox Ten—‘Star-drive to maximum power!’” He mimicked the cult TV show’s iconic salute and laughed. “I’ve wanted that box set forever! Cheers, Riles.”

“Did you get my latest addition to the ‘4 Benjamin’ playlist?”

“No, don’t think so. Send it again?” He stared into his phone. “Uh, you’re just eating lunch now?”

“No, I’m staying late—this is early dinner.” She fiddled with her phone, sending him the missing playlist text—“When I Think of You” by Janet Jackson. “I’m going all out on a report for my boss. There are rumors of amazing job postings soon, so…I want to stand out, you know?”

“Right.” He spotted her text and smiled but seemed preoccupied, jogging up some stairs.

“Is everything okay?”

“Uh, fine. I’m…finding a quiet corner. Fourth floor should do it—no one will look for me in Economics.”

“You’re working a late one, too…”

“Yeah, ’til closing.” He ducked into an abandoned alcove of tall bookshelves. “Riles, they told me this afternoon—they’re sending me on a course.” He didn’t look happy.

“Is that…good or bad?”

“Both, I guess. I’ll get paid a bit more afterwards, but I have to make a decision.”

“Oh?”

He lowered his voice. “If I want to get promoted here, I think I’ll have to pack acting in. There’s no way I can do both.”

“Oh! So…how do you feel about that?”

“I love the books and chatting to people—and the steady pay packet.” He shrugged. “Acting-wise, I’ve done nothing since that Lairds one-off…I haven’t even been on an audition.”

“Yeah, but being an actor is like that, right? I guess you have to ask yourself if you’d miss it.”

“Well, I’d miss my acting buddies and how fun it is to be someone else, but the rest—the shit money, zero job security, being told I’m too tall, too skinny, too pale—hell no! My heart’s not in it. I think my talents might lie elsewhere…”

“Like the kitchen? Alex texted me saying she visited the market and you had fawning customers. Ben, you’ve got fans!”

“Wouldn’t say ‘fans’…regulars, maybe.”

“Same thing! I’m so proud of you.” She smiled. “To think you were practicing icing with Mom only seven months ago.”

He tugged the red Waterstones lanyard around his neck and looked away. “Yeah…”

He still looks unsure. “Ben, you know, you don’t have to quit acting, not if you still want to do it. I’m sure you can find a balance—”

“No, it’s not the acting that’s bugging me…” Ben closed his eyes and grimaced, opening them again. “I can’t visit you next month.”

He’s not coming. Ben’s not coming to New York. The hunger gnawing her belly twisted into ice-cold nausea. She abandoned the fork in her lasagna.

“The course is that week, and then I have to be in the store over the St. Paddy’s weekend—I’ll even miss the market.”

Her face fell as she swallowed hard. We’ve missed Christmas together, New Year’s, Valentine’s, and now our airport anniversary. Will four months apart grow to six…ten…a year?

“I’m so sorry.” Ben lowered his head. “I saved enough for my flights and everything—”

He’s heartbroken, too. It’s not his fault. She lightly pressed her lips together, glancing at her ‘Catch Me’ ring sparkling on her finger. “Ben, it’s okay. Really.”

He looked up through his hair. “Riley—”

“The trip wasn’t definite anyway, and…you can’t let this opportunity pass. It wouldn’t look good.” She offered a smile.

“After the course, I’ll get a new job title, few more quid, but I can’t have any proper holiday time, not for the first three months. So, I’ll come over in June—for our real anniversary, yeah??”

Four more months, but what choice do I have? She nodded. “Yeah.”

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