Fifty-Four

In the hospital’s pre-op area, Riley stood by her mother’s bedside, trying to stay out of the way of the nurses and the IV line inserted into a vein in Maggie’s hand.

“It’s quicker to fly to Dubai, you know. I looked that up on my phone last night.” Maggie stifled a laugh, mindful of the other patients beyond her hospital curtain. “I’m glad you dressed comfy.”

Riley tugged at her baggy NYU sweatshirt that stretched past her leggings-covered butt. “The transplant coordinator said up to twelve hours. Could be less.”

“You could grab breakfast, go see a movie or three, then come back…”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Riley held her mom’s hand and inhaled deeply, the sharp lemony scent of disinfectant from the damp, recently mopped floor waking her up. “I brought a book, and Piper and Casey will keep me company.” Her eyes strayed to the squiggly lines and blinking lights on the monitor beside the bed, tracking Maggie’s cardiac rhythm, blood pressure, and oxygen levels. “The nurse said the surgeries are happening in reverse order. The living donor usually goes in first, but they’re taking you before Ben. She said it’s something to do with your cancer?”

“Yeah, they have to do an exploratory lapa-something-or-other first to make sure it hasn’t spread. If it has, they’ll call off the transplant and Ben’s liver stays put.”

“My ears are burning…” Ben peeked around the privacy curtain, a cheeky smile on his tired face. Wearing a hospital gown, a bathrobe draped over his shoulders, and slippers, he clutched his phone in one hand and his IV pole in the other. A bag of saline swung from a hook on the pole, its rubber tubing tethered to the back of his left hand.

Maggie smiled up at him. “Ben! Come in.”

“Hiya, Maggie.” He flung his non-IV arm around Riley’s waist and nuzzled into her ear. “Morning, gorgeous. I missed you last night.”

Riley leaned into him, his warmth, his familiarity feeling like home. My head fits perfectly on his shoulder. “Did you sleep okay?” The dark circles under his eyes answered her question.

“Like a log, but I had stripper flashbacks this morning.” He rubbed his tummy and frowned. “They shaved my abs!”

Maggie laughed. “If it makes you feel any better, they shaved my stomach, too! Oh, before I forget, now that you’re both here—thank you for that lovely note from Mark. He’s a doll.”

With a smile, Ben looked over his shoulder and pulled the curtain closed. “How you feeling, Maggie? Ready to play Operation?”

“Yeah! Hopefully, a buzzer won’t go off and my nose won’t light up if they touch something they shouldn’t!”

“They better leave your ‘spare ribs’ and ‘bread basket’ alone.” Ben’s eyes kept darting to the bottom of the curtain, his strange behavior punctuated by a nervous giggle. “They can take my ‘butterfly’, though.”

Why is he acting weird? Curiosity halted Riley’s exhale. “Ben, does your nurse know you’re here?”

“Does he heck! I made a break for it, said I needed the loo.” Scratching his messy hair, the hospital ID bracelet slipped down his wrist. “I wanted to see Maggie—”

“Maggie?” A young nurse with a Welsh accent pulled the curtain aside. A female aide lingered behind her. “We’re ready to take you to the OR now.”

So soon? “Can we just…” Riley glanced at her mom.

The nurse nodded, hearing the tremor in Riley’s voice. “Of course. I’ll be back in a sec.” She turned away and checked on another patient.

Ben stepped back and toyed with his phone, giving mom and daughter privacy.

“Riley, please…don’t worry. Ben and I are in good hands. It’s going to be fine.”

How do I say everything I want to say in a minute? Riley’s lip trembled. Do NOT cry! You don’t want her upset before she goes in. Holding back tears, she squeezed Maggie’s hand. But what if it doesn’t go well… “I love you, Mom.”

“Sweetie, I love you, too. You’re my life.”

Now I’m really gonna cry. Riley leaned over the bed’s rail, kissing Maggie on the cheek. “Third time lucky, right?”

“Yep! And this time, it’s personal!” Maggie chuckled, patting her daughter’s hand as the nurse and aide returned, ready to go. “Oh, wait! Where’s Ben?”

“I’m here.” His IV stand squeaked as he shuffled to her bedside.

Maggie’s eyes glowed with tearful gratitude. “I can’t thank you enough. I think an angel sent you to us. You’ve given me hope where there wasn’t any.”

Ben looked awkward, his eyes flicking down to stare at his slippered feet. “You’ll be fine, Maggie. Can’t wait to have this stupid ol’ liver whipped out of me and put to good use.”

“Gimme a hug!” She lifted her arms to pull him in, whispering in his ear. “If anything happens, please give Riley the letter in my nightstand at home? And look after each other, okay?”

“Maggie—”

“Liver or no liver, you’ll always be part of our family, Ben.”

“Thanks.” Pulling away, he ducked his quivering chin.

The nurse squeezed past with a warm smile and unplugged the monitor from the wall, its battery pack beeping. She attached it to a pole at the head of the bed as the aide unlocked the bed’s brakes. Riley and Ben shifted out the way so she could steer Maggie clear and toward the doors leading to the hallway.

This is going to be the longest day of my life. Riley’s stomach lurched with nausea.

“Love you. I’ll see you when I see you.” Maggie squeezed Riley’s hand one last time and let go, her eyes locked on her daughter until she was out of sight. Riley followed the bed, only breaking her gaze when it vanished behind the closing OR doors.

“Code yellow: missing patient. Surgical floor. Code yellow.”

Riley’s eyes widened. “That’s not you, is it?”

Ben grinned sheepishly. “Shit, I think I’ve been rumbled.”

• • •

“Mr. Fagan, you shouldn’t be strolling the halls.” Annoyance prickled the male nurse’s words as he snapped the rubber tourniquet around Ben’s upper arm.

“Oww!” Ben scowled. “Flo Nightingale you ain’t, mate!”

“It was time for your blood work and you weren’t here. Your walkabout could’ve delayed surgery.”

Riley smirked, holding Ben’s free hand. “You’re a transplant troublemaker. They’re not going to invite YOU back again.”

“Ahh, story of my life. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.”

The nurse stuck a needle into the crook of Ben’s right arm, just above his Pac-Man blue ghost tattoo. Riley flinched and looked away.

“Thhhhhh!” Ben sucked in a breath. “Fuckity bollocks!” He glared wide-eyed at the nurse. “You’re doing that on purpose now, aren’t you?”

His question fell away, ignored as a full vial of blood was removed and an empty one was clicked into its place.

“Well, one thing’s for sure: with the big abdominal scar I’m going to have, my stripping days are well and truly over!”

“In public, maybe.” Riley stared at the wall. Is it over yet?

Ben swallowed several times. “I’d kill for some water, and my stomach is growling like an alien’s about to burst out.”

The nurse untied the tourniquet and pulled out the needle, quickly covering the skin puncture with a cotton ball and a Band-Aid. He nodded at an aide standing in the doorway. “Right, Mr. Fagan, we’re moving you downstairs to pre-op—”

No. Riley’s stomach rolled. “Already?” Eyes flitting between the aide propping open the door and the nurse undoing the monitors from the wall, she loosened her grip on Ben’s hand. “But…my mom has only been in the operating room for thirty minutes—if that.”

“We need Mr. Fagan close to the operating room so we can finish his pre-op prep. The anesthesiologist needs to meet with him again, too.”

Ben fiddled with his phone, lying on the blanket. “Riles can come, yeah?”

The nurse shook his head, untying the patient call button from the bed rail. “We’ll be inserting an epidural catheter in your back to help with pain relief. We don’t allow family there when that’s done. I’m sorry.”

Ben squeezed Riley’s hand as her phone buzzed in her tote. Eyebrows peaked, she whispered, “So…”

“So…” Ben squirmed in the bed. “Riles, please hang on to my stuff? The bag on that chair…” He motioned toward it, lifting his chin.

The nurse handed the bag to Riley and she looped its long strap over her shoulder, next to her tote.

“Oh, phone, too.” Ben placed it in her hand. The bed shook and squealed as the aide unlocked its brakes.

It’s happening too fast… Riley looked up, fighting the urge to cry. “Come back to me, Benjamin Fagan.”

“Hey, that’s a first. I never get asked back!” His wide grin sank into a scared gulp. “Riley, if I—”

“Ben…” She leaned over the rail and ignored the impatient stare of the aide standing behind the head of the bed. “You’ll be all drowsy the next time I see you…” Riley bit her lip, but tears spilled through her lashes and wouldn’t stop. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, and I want you to know…” With a peaceful smile, he swept the tears from her face and caressed her damp cheek. “I’ve never loved any one ’til you,” he whispered. “You were so worth the wait, Hope. You’re my first, my always.”

You’re my last, my always. Riley gasped and met his lips, sharing a lingering kiss flavored with salty tears. She hoped Ben’s final memory before going under would be of kisses and plans for their future together, not tears and worry over what could go wrong. She smiled softly and squeezed his hand. “As soon as you’re feeling better, we’ll tackle that to-do list: dinner at that pub in London, go see a-ha in concert somewhere, see a play at the Old Vic Theatre…”

“It’s a date, gorgeous.” Ben punctuated his promise with a wink that released a tear.

Riley let go of his hand to dry his cheek, but the bed moved forward and Ben was no longer within reach.